Is my mum being unreasonable asking this?

[Lisash]

Oh my goodness makes the watch I got my mum for her 60th look a bit tame! As some of the others have said I would explain that while you would love to send her on holiday that you simply cannot afford such an extravagant gift but you will be happy to contribute some vouchers to help towards her holiday

 

[Lizzy Lemon]

Completely unreasonable. Your mum chose to bring you into this world hopefully because she wanted children to love not to provide for her latter years. My boys are young yet but even them buying me a Toblerone bar for my birthday out of their pocket money makes me feel guilty for their loss of money but I know they have got to learn to be generous. Put your foot down and say 'I've got my daughter to think of first and I'll think of something else for your gift!'.

 

[higgy66]

OMG..... I can't even remember what I got my parents for their 50th! We didn't even do anything specail Not being funny but what's special about being 50????

18 & 60 used to be celebrated (adulthood and retirement) only commercialism has added 21, 30, 40, 50....etc.etc

My MIL just turned 60 last week and we all clubbed together to book her a coach holiday to Austria. It cost each family £90 and although she was thrilled she was also a little cross at us all. She always says "she doesn't need a special day to be shown how much we care" She'd be even more thrilled with the unexpected bunch of flowers or bottle of wine!

When I'm 50 my daughters will be 14 & 13 so they will proabaly want to send me all the way to barbados so they can have a party!

My father always taught me - you want your children to do better than you ever did and want nothing in return for helping them acheive it. That's what parenting is all about.

Good luck with letting her down gently!

 

[alisonbestford]

This is the totally daft sort of request I'd expect from my MIL

Our income's made up, almost soley, from DH's disability benefits but it wouldn't occur to her that she was being remotely unreasonable

Families!

 

[carolfoy]

What an awful position to be in, Jens suggestion of vouchers is the only thing I can think of - could you get all relatives to contribute over the next couple of years?

 

[angel659]

Hi

Yes, yes and yes its unreasonable. I think I will be telling my mum in a polite way to huh hmm off. I didnt say that....... did I.

I would say sorry mum I simply can not afford that and explain you have a family. If she moans mention to her that she is being unreasonable to of asked you for this in the first place.

I probably would not mention the Orlando holiday. It may come down to her thinking your jelous and spiteful and thats the reason you wont pay for her holiday to Barbados other than financial and principle.

I would say no and perhaps all go in together to get her some vouchers or pay for a weekend to Paris or a spa weekend.

Another thing, because your going to Florida. She may think you can afford to pay for her. Not that your breaking your back going in the first place.

Stand your ground, but do it with precaution. You want to come out looking right than spiteful and wrong.

Good luck.

 

[wideeyes]

I was only joking about Orlando ,

my mum keeps trying to talk me out of going until dd is older, and says its just like DLP, I presume she just meant the Magic Kingdom as last time I checked DLP did not have animals, water parks etc. . Knowing my mum she probably thought the Magic Kingdom was WDW! Also she claims that dd will be to small to go on the rides, even though she will be 5 and will be able to go on all the rides apart from a few roller coasters.

I think maybe she is jealous as my sister is coming with me and she feels like she will be missing out on something.

 

[Minniespal]

I think maybe she is jealous as my sister is coming with me and she feels like she will be missing out on something.

That could have something to do with it as well

 

[Chilly]

I can't remeber what I got my Mum when she was 50, I was only 15 so prob not a lot. When she turned 60 this summer I got her and my Step Dad tickets to see Simply Red who she loves. Whenever I buy my Mum something she always says I shouldn't be wasting my money on her.

I hope you sort something out with your Mum so that you don't fall out over it. Perhaps you should just forget about it, if it is 2 years away she might forget she has said it or you might have won the euromillions by then and be able to send us all with her!

 

[DrNick]

Don't know about my mum but I'd pay for a one way ticket for my MIL

 

[Debbie Jean]

I am saving up to take my dd on her first trip to WDW, which I have been saving up for the since last year, maybe I should ask her to pay for it


My mum and dad took my brother and sister to Orlando in September, my mum said that it was her dream to take her children to Orlando and now she done it. maybe I should remind her that I am one of her children as well so technically she has not done it until she sends me to Orlando.

And she wants YOU to send HER to Barbados??????

I think I'd tell her to call "Cash in the attic"!

BTW, I'm 54 and can't imagine EVER making such an ourtrageous request of my DD regardless of the event

 

[Cyrano]

Have you talked to your mum about her request

 

[Richard Bruvofetc]

Did you ask your mother what she wanted for her birthday or did she volunteer the request?

I know my parents sacrificed a lot to bring up 4 children, and when you think that they are now saying it costs £180,000 just to bring up one.....

...and the grief I knew I'd put my parents through as a teenager.

It makes me think of the lyrics of the following song:

NO CHARGE - 05/06/1976
1 week at #1 - 11 weeks on chart

Now our little boy came up to his mum in the kitchen this evenin'
While she was fixin' supper
And he handed her a piece of paper he'd been writin' on
And after wipin' her hands on her apron
She read it - and this is what it said

For mowin' the lawn - five dollars
For makin' my own bed this week - one dollar
And for goin' to the store - fifty cents
An' playin' with little brother, while you went shoppin' - twenty-five cents

Takin' out the trash - one dollar
Gettin' a good report card - five dollars
And for rakin' the yard - two dollars
Total owed - fourteen seventy-five

Well, as mum looked at him standin' there expectantly
And I could see the mem'ries flashing through her mind
And so she picked up the pen, and turnin' the paper over
This is what she wrote

For the nine months I carried you
Growin' inside me - No charge
For the nights I've sat up with you
Doctored you, and prayed for you - No charge
For the time and the tears
That you've cost through the years, there's No charge
And when you add it all up
The full cost of my love is No charge

For the nights filled with dread
And all the worries ahead - No charge
For advice and the knowledge
And the cost of your college - No charge
For the toys, food and clothes and even for wipin' your nose
There's No charge, son
And when you add it all up
The full cost of my love, is - No charge


Well, when he finished readin'
He had great big old tears in his eyes
And he looked up at her standing there and said
Mama, I sure do love you
Then he took the pen,
And in great big letters
He wrote PAID IN FULL

Lord knows when you add it all up
The cost of real love is - No charge

*************************

Is your Mother being unreasonable? I couldn't judge that. All families are different. My wish is that my Mother had been around long enough to at least have paid her in full.

 

[wickesy]

It makes me think of the lyrics of the following song:

NO CHARGE - 05/06/1976
1 week at #1 - 11 weeks on chart

I always fill up when I listen to that song.

 

[shellbell]

My Mum has done the opposite, She is 50 next August and has asked me if i would like to go on holiday with her, just me and her. She want's to pay, she justs wants me to be with her

Maybe talk to her and see what she says

 

[Boo Boo Too]

My Mum has done the opposite, She is 50 next August and has asked me if i would like to go on holiday with her, just me and her. She want's to pay, she justs wants me to be with her

A bit like my 30th... well I didn't take my Mum on holiday, just threw a party to celebrate... took 50 family and friends out for the evening at a local posh hotel. We paid for the venue, 3 course meal, wine, jazz band etc. for everyone. I don't see birthdays as times for receiving, but as times for celebrating with the people you love (and I don't think they should have to pay for the privelege to celebrate with me...).

Boo

 

[jen_uk]

I think I'd tell her to call "Cash in the attic"!

 

[wideeyes]

Hi,
I am at the moment planing a trip to WDW for early 2008, possible Feb half term, so I have come up with the idea of asking my mum if she would like to come with me and my DD and I will pay for her to come along, which is a lot cheaper than Barbados.
I got a quote today and it seems resanable, it will just be a week at a Value so not really what she had in mind, however I could also take her out for a nice meal and its a break from home.

I will ask her first and see what she thinks.

 

[Minniespal]

That sounds like a lovely thing to do

 

[angel659]

Hi

Still alot of money though in my opinion. Gone the days when it was the thought that counts. Now it seems to be over commericialised and its all competitions who spends more. It seems to be like this now.

If it works for you then good, but I still think its over generous.