Is my mum being unreasonable asking this?

[wideeyes]

Is less than two years away to my mums 50th and she has asked me, and my brother and sister to send her to Barbados.

The problem is that all 3 of us want be in a position to do this due to our education.

Though I will be 26 I would have only just finished uni and depending on what I decide may be doing a PGCE, I also have my own daughter to think about, if I paid for this holiday it would mean no holiday for me and dd.


My brother and sister will be 21 and 19 and will still be in full time education or just starting out with careers and I seriously doubt that they will be in a postion of contributing toward a holiday.


I think my mum is in a better position to book the holiday her self, she has just booked 2 weeks at Cuba for March 07, which is not to far from Barbados.
I do understand that she works very hard for these holidays by doing extra work.


Do you think its unfair for my mum to ask us this, she seems to think its is a way of showing that we appreciate what she has done of us while growing up?

 

[emily1982]

I'm 23 and i don't think id ever be in the postition to send my mom anywhere like that. I don't get why she wants you and your siblings to pay, when obviously shes your not in the position to. My personal opionion is You shouldn't have to owe somebody anything for bringing you up, just do little things out of kindness, like nice occasional day trips out, flowers etc occasionaly but not a big holiday.

 

[Cyrano]

Remember the lesson we tell our children. I wants do not get.

My mum would know better than to tell any of her sons what's she'd want, but I'm sure she would not ask such a thing

 

[jen_uk]

I think its a bit much that she has asked you to pay for it, its not exactly a small request! Maybe you could all chip in for some vouchers which she could put towards the cost of a holiday, I dont think you should be expected to pay for it all.

 

[Ware Bears]

Oh dear, families.......

My mum and dad would never have asked this. I think if your mum was perhaps thinking about a weekend away it might seem a little more reasonable, however I don't think a fortnight abroad is a very fair thing to ask for, especially seeing as you have a DD. I would suggest letting her sort out the holiday herself and perhaps the three of you sharing the costs of taking her out for a special birthday meal here. That's the sort of present my mum likes.

 

[AndRu]

I might pay for my Mum to goto Bognor but not Barbados.

Yeah, I know they did a lot for us when we were children but to expect your offspring to cough up for something like that is a bit rich.

You ought to ask her "OK Mum, what tropical island did you send Grandma / Grandpa to when she tuned 50?"

 

[CustardTart]

...Remember the lesson we tell our children. I wants do not get...

Well said. It's 7 years away from my 50th and I wouldn't dream of making requests for that kind of thing from my kids...

 

[LauraAnn630]

We had a surprise party for my dad. I think that is reasonable.
We were all able to spend time together. We all enjoyed it.

Good Luck! What do you siblings think of this?

 

[lgp1]

I don't think it's fair that she has asked you to do this.I'm 51 and personally all I want from my children other than a card and a small present is their love and respect.Plus three weeks in Disney...Only joking!

 

[wils]

It seems like a rather large request especially considering you and your siblings lifestages and financial positions.

It seems very unreasonable to me.

Good luck with delaing with this.

 

[mandymouse]

Oh dear, families.......

My mum and dad would never have asked this. I think if your mum was perhaps thinking about a weekend away it might seem a little more reasonable, however I don't think a fortnight abroad is a very fair thing to ask for, especially seeing as you have a DD. I would suggest letting her sort out the holiday herself and perhaps the three of you sharing the costs of taking her out for a special birthday meal here. That's the sort of present my mum likes.

I totally agree here. I couldn't imagine my parents ever asking for anything like this, especially as you have your own family to think about too

 

[natalielongstaff]

You ought to ask her "OK Mum, what tropical island did you send Grandma / Grandpa to when she tuned 50?"

i would be asking this

 

[wideeyes]

I am saving up to take my dd on her first trip to WDW, which I have been saving up for the since last year, maybe I should ask her to pay for it


My mum and dad took my brother and sister to Orlando in September, my mum said that it was her dream to take her children to Orlando and now she done it. maybe I should remind her that I am one of her children as well so technically she has not done it until she sends me to Orlando.

 

[Minniespal]

maybe I should remind her that I am one of her children as well so technically she has not done it until she sends me to Orlando.

That is worth reminding her.

I could understand if my mum/dad had already booked a trip. Instead of asking for a birthday present they asked for cash towards the trip but not expecting that the whole trip will be financed for her

 

[Boo Boo Too]

This whole thing sounds a bit bizzare... why would your Mum ask for that?

I am saving up to take my dd on her first trip to WDW, which I have been saving up for the since last year, maybe I should ask her to pay for it

My mum and dad took my brother and sister to Orlando in September, my mum said that it was her dream to take her children to Orlando and now she done it. maybe I should remind her that I am one of her children as well so technically she has not done it until she sends me to Orlando.

Maybe worth doing.... seriously. Maybe your Mum's philosophy is that she has paid for all of you to go on holiday (maybe forgetting that she hasn't taken you away) recently... so it isn't much to ask for you to pay for her to go away for her 50th. Still sounds odd to me, but...

If I was you (although I could NEVER imagine being in your position...), I would work out a solution with your siblings. Assuming you all agree that you can't afford the whole trip, then work out how much you do want to spend and what to get her (jen_uk's idea of vouchers towards the trip sounds good to me).

Very odd.... good luck!

Boo

 

[alisonbestford]

I agree with the vouchers idea - or something similar

It'll be my 50th in 6 years - your mum's got me wondering what outrageous pressie I can ask for...........................

 

[Lizzybear]

I concur with everyone else that it isn't fair to ask so much of you and your siblings. I'm a similar age (22) and I would never be able to afford something like that without skinting myself! Me and Steve are saving hard for Orlando next year as neither of us are minted (i'm still in uni and work 4 days a week but don't get paid a lot and Steve works fulltime but is looking for something better as his current job takes the mick in more ways than one!) but we really want to go so we're determined My own mum say some daft things sometimes (she doesn't work or have much contact with people other than family and people in shops and stuff so I think she's become a bit deluded, strange as it may sound..) and I could imagine her making a request like this too!

 

[mushumadness]

my brother sister and I are all in good jobs (not still in education) and we would not be able to afford that between us,

, so yes I think she is being unreasonable.

Thats not a cheep place to go.

 

[Deedee]

I know she is your mom but i think she has a real cheek asking this of you. She should be grateful for what you can afford to do for her. so yes she is defo being unreasonable.

 

[lexie32]

Could she be joking or has one of you won the lottery and she has just found out about it!!

hope you get this sorted without too much family trouble

Alex