Is my daughter's dance teacher ridiculous?

[cabanafrau]

The yelling I referred to in relation to competition team training occurs w/ tweens/teens goofing off, wasting the time of instructors & teammates who literally lay down blood, sweat & tears on the floor. By the time they're at that age or that level, the cliche "If you can't run w/ the big dogs, stay on the porch." definitely applies.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

The yelling I referred to in relation to competition team training occurs w/ tweens/teens goofing off, wasting the time of instructors & teammates who literally lay down blood, sweat & tears on the floor. By the time they're at that age or that level, the cliche "If you can't run w/ the big dogs, stay on the porch." definitely applies.

If this is in response to my post--I hadn't seen your post, yet. Was providing my observation to OP that even in a serious setting, my children aren't treated anywhere near as harshly as OP's 3yo. And they aren't permitted to goof off and are told to knock it off if it starts.

The older classes--the girls are way too serious to even create an opportunity to be yelled at from what I have noticed.

 

[bumbershoot]

The yelling I referred to in relation to competition team training occurs w/ tweens/teens goofing off, wasting the time of instructors & teammates who literally lay down blood, sweat & tears on the floor. By the time they're at that age or that level, the cliche "If you can't run w/ the big dogs, stay on the porch." definitely applies.

Yeah, although I personally have NEVER responded positively to coaches/teachers yelling, we see it on the team and going-to-be-on-the-team level with DS's gymnastics class. At the same time they have 5-12 year olds in rec gym, where the teachers are almost always patient (one kid in the boy's group has been put in timeout three times in 3 weeks, but he's 8) and kind, but they also have the invitation-only teaching class with 6-12ish where those kids are being barked at, and the last two sessions, they have the teen girls on the team being YELLED at. By the time DS gets to figure out if he wants to go on (if he's invited) he'll know full well that there will be yelling.

But even with DS at 5, I wouldn't be OK with his teachers yelling at him. And if he were 3, I can't imagine being OK with it.

Not to mention, if she's THAT strict a ballet teacher that she's yelling and being punitive, the punishment should not be just sitting there. My mom took ballet when she was little, and I"m sure that her teachers would have made her do more stretches, more moves, more practice, instead of just standing/sitting there.

Obviously I think this teacher is all sorts of wrong, LOL.

 

[mhsjax]

Most people generally consider me a no-nonsense, suck it up Buttercup kind of mom, but yelling at 3 year olds in a dance class is out of line. IMO if you're talking an average group of goofball 3 year olds w/o significant developmental or behavioral challenges, lots of yelling indicates an incapable instructor and/or a poorly designed program.

Now, when they move up the ranks & start on competition teams and the like -- oh yeah, there's yelling & plenty of it if there's goofing around going on. Suck it up, Buttercup.

And I 100% agree with you, I stated that yelling at 3 years olds is a bit much. HOwever I was responding to the pp, who I believe said that she didn't think yelling at any age was a good thing.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would find a more friendly environment. I wouldn't care for that at all. There shouldn't be that much pressure at 3. Really, it should be fun, lighthearted, mixed with ballet movement. At 3 it's an introduction and that should be inviting.

 

[luvsJack]

And I 100% agree with you, I stated that yelling at 3 years olds is a bit much. HOwever I was responding to the pp, who I believe said that she didn't think yelling at any age was a good thing.

Actually, whether its math or dance; a teacher should be able to handle her class without yelling. Raising her voice to be heard over music, talking, whatever is ok; but there should be no yelling. I have made complaints to dd's school because of the PE teacher yelling at the kids and that's in a noisy gym with many kids. A dance teacher should not have to yell.

 

[goofy's friends]

Dancing should be fun, especially at age 3. I'd take her out and find her a fun place to spend your money.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I don't think 3 is too young to learn. I also think they should be learning the correct terminology no matter what language it is.
I think her making kids stand in the corner is what would make me pull my kid. Of course, if my kid was not behaving I would have pulled them from the class. Some kids are not ready at 3 and can't pay attention for that long. So then you wait a year and see if they do better then.

 

[XTinabell]

I took ballet/tap/jazz from 3-18 years old. Ballet was definitely the most strict (I always felt like all of my ballet instructors hated children ). We learned positions first and there was definitely never any playing around in ballet. Pull her out if you want but this was the norm 20 some odd years ago. My tap and jazz classes were a little more easy going but there was never any running around or playing (but the instructors were a little more understanding if you didn't remember all of the positions).

Ditto. When I was 3 my class started with over 20 students including a couple of boys. I remember the teacher made every student cry and by the the recital we had 9 students and no boys left. She made me cry all the time, after I finished that year my parents took me out.

Is it my place to change the "curriculum" or her style of teaching? Don't feel comfortable with that. I guess I should just pull her out.

If you're not comfortable with it I would take her out and find a studio that does not have mean instructors. My parents eventually found me an instructor that was encouraging and gentle with the younger students and we still all learned the technique. With that said, I would say the students that were with the strict instructor turned into better dancers, but I'm sure you can find a happy medium.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

There are all different types of dance classes for children. Sounds like your daughter is enrolled in the "hardcore" ballet program. If that's not what you are looking for right now, take her out. She should enjoy the class. How did she like the class?

 

[kafitty]

you really can't call yourself a ballerina until you've had a crotchety, bad-tempered French or Russian teacher, complete with accent. Mine had a cane that she'd bang on the floor for each count...

 

[mhsjax]

Actually, whether its math or dance; a teacher should be able to handle her class without yelling. Raising her voice to be heard over music, talking, whatever is ok; but there should be no yelling. I have made complaints to dd's school because of the PE teacher yelling at the kids and that's in a noisy gym with many kids. A dance teacher should not have to yell.

Well, I don't mind if my kids get yelled at, my daughter is in cheerleading and yes sometimes the coach raises her voice and actually yells. So what, in fact one of the moms complained about it, she was pretty much laughed at by the rest of the moms.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

My daughter has done ballet since three. Her teachers have used the correct term for each pose. Even though at 3-5 they may not do what the older girls do they do start positions and the more they know now I am ssuming it makes it much easier later.
My daughter dosen't know french but she knows all the words of the positions she does and pronounces them great.
I think it sounds more like this teacher may not know how to keep control of the class without yelling. You know how it is at this age you lose control of one and it goes downhill. Before you give up chat with the teacher. Is there something that two of you can do to work it so your dd pays attention. Maybe seperate her fromthe girl who is getting in trouble. Talk to your dd what does she say about it all?

 

[NY Disney fan]

There are all different types of dance classes for children. Sounds like your daughter is enrolled in the "hardcore" ballet program. If that's not what you are looking for right now, take her out. She should enjoy the class. How did she like the class?

My daughter LOVES the hardcore class. But because she's a happy go lucky 3 year old she doesn't realize that the teacher gives her "warnings" all the time and wants to kill her joy of learning. My daughter thinks the ballet class is a playground and has waaay too much energy. Her teacher is a very nice lady but in my view unrealistic.

UPDATE: Next Monday is her last day at that school. I am enrolling her at a place called "The Little Gym" where the 3 year olds do 30 minutes of creative dance (ballet/tap) and 30 minutes of gymnastics. They are non-competitive and focus on fun (for little tots). When my daughter is 6 or 7 then we will re-visit the hardcore ballet classes.

 

[Rora]

I danced from age 3-20. I took ballet and tap when I was 3 and definitely remember ballet being very serious.

OP- to be honest, this teacher doesn't seem out of line for a ballet teacher. If she is anything like the ballet teachers I've encountered over the years, they think they are doing your DD a favor. They are getting her ready for the "real world" of ballet, yes even at the age of 3. Whether or not your daughter becomes a ballerina (heck, she's only 3!) this is how it'll be in the Dancing World.. trust me, I've been there.

OP- if your DD seems very unhappy and doesn't enjoy the class, I'd say pull her out. Some dance studios are more serious than others. It could be that you are at a studio where girls are trained to be prima ballerina's from age 3. If you're looking for something more fun, I'd say move her elsewhere.

EDIT: Just saw your update.. that's great!! Hope it goes well!

 

[cabanafrau]

NY Disney Fan, I hope your DD has a great time in the new program. Sounds like it offers a lot of opportunity for her to learn all kinds of things and be really active, which is wonderful. One thing I would recommend to be on the lookout for is whether or not 60 min. isn't a bit too long at 3. Because of what they're doing, it may work fabulously, but if you notice your DD struggling to stay focused on what they're doing, it may well be 60 min. straight is too much at her age.

Let us know how it goes & how she likes it. Sounds like lots of fun.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Some dance studios are more serious than others. It could be that you are at a studio where girls are trained to be prima ballerina's from age 3.

This is counter productive no?? There is plenty of time to become a professional ballerina without having to start at 3 years old. I knew someone who became a professional ballerina in her 30's. And many 10 year olds start ballet and are ready for company auditions by the time they are 18 or 19 with the right instruction. Professional dancers (non ballet) can even begin training at 15 (with much dedication). The possibilities are endless.

Yes 60 min might be too long but I'll play it by ear. My DD has tons of energy, she's not a napper at all! I try to force her naps but she doesn't budge. She never slept as a newborn either.

 

[cabanafrau]

I danced from age 3-20. I took ballet and tap when I was 3 and definitely remember ballet being very serious.

OP- to be honest, this teacher doesn't seem out of line for a ballet teacher. If she is anything like the ballet teachers I've encountered over the years, they think they are doing your DD a favor. They are getting her ready for the "real world" of ballet, yes even at the age of 3. Whether or not your daughter becomes a ballerina (heck, she's only 3!) this is how it'll be in the Dancing World.. trust me, I've been there.

OP- if your DD seems very unhappy and doesn't enjoy the class, I'd say pull her out. Some dance studios are more serious than others. It could be that you are at a studio where girls are trained to be prima ballerina's from age 3. If you're looking for something more fun, I'd say move her elsewhere.

EDIT: Just saw your update.. that's great!! Hope it goes well!

I think you're blending your experience a bit, including some of the structure & attitudes from when you were older & pasting that into hazy memories of being 3 in ballet. What the OP described was not appropriate for 3 years old. As the mother of two who have been dancing for a decade-plus in a structured setting, with the same ballet teacher all these years, I can tell you that structure at 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, etc. are all horses of different colors. She's the boss in that room every moment, no matter the age.

If you are ever at a studio where dancers are trained to be prima ballerinas from the age of 3 --- run! Dancers at that level have zero need to know what the Dancing World is like & attempting to cover up poor teaching methods doesn't cut it. That comes much further down the road, when they have the maturity to understand the consequences of going forward with serious training.

 

[Minniemama350]

I have not read all of the posts, but here is my two sense as aformer ballet student + teacher of younger children + mom: If the kids are misbehaving, they are not engaged in what they are doing. If they are not engaged in what they are doing, they are not being taught in an age appropriate manner. If they are not being taught in an age appropriate manner and are not having fun...you can draw your own conclusion. I would personally not pay someone to yell at my 3 year old child. The "norm" means nothing to me in this situation because like it or not, the treatment of my child does have an impact on their psyche. I hope this read as helpful, as that was my intention. Follow your instincts.

 

[cabanafrau]

This is counter productive no?? There is plenty of time to become a professional ballerina without having to start at 3 years old. I knew someone who became a professional ballerina in her 30's. And many 10 year olds start ballet and are ready for company auditions by the time they are 18 or 19 with the right instruction. Professional dancers (non ballet) can even begin training at 15 (with much dedication). The possibilities are endless.

Yes 60 min might be too long but I'll play it by ear. My DD has tons of energy, she's not a napper at all! I try to force her naps but she doesn't budge. She never slept as a newborn either.

My older DD was (and is) the same way about sleep, so I understand you there. What I meant was less about stamina & more about a desire to keep doing what the teacher/class are doing for 60 min. The program you described sounds like it offers lots of variety & plenty of chances to participate & be wiggly & goofy doing it, so it may be easy peasy for your DD to stay "focused" so to speak. Sure hope she has a great time.