Is it wrong to spank your child?

[julia & nicks mom]

And if anyone wanted to call child protective services as Sandy22 "suggested" in her reply, I say go for it. They would find that my children are provided with all the love and support that a child could ask for and nothing more.

when I am being crabby with my kids - like a whole crabby day - my mom will tell me that she is going to call child services -

my sister and I both tell her go ahead - cause they will make her watch them for a week while they investigate - I get a vacation and will be cleared!!! (although my sister promises to be drunk for the first home visit so she has to keep them for a little while longer!!!)

 

[ktink]

when I am being crabby with my kids - like a whole crabby day - my mom will tell me that she is going to call child services -

my sister and I both tell her go ahead - cause they will make her watch them for a week while they investigate - I get a vacation and will be cleared!!! (although my sister promises to be drunk for the first home visit so she has to keep them for a little while longer!!!)

 

[ktink]

Give me a break....have you even looked below the dogs? I do happen to do some parental bragging in my siggie. Not sure how relevant what we put in our siggies is to spanking though. Different parenting styles I guess.

Yes, I've noticed your ticker and I might add it's lovely. Congratulations to you. And the comment I made about our siggies was only brought in by the suggestion that I need to spend more time with my kids. And we do have different parenting styles that's what has brought us to this discussion.

 

[Sandy22]

 

[julia & nicks mom]

I don't believe in spanking at all. It is absolutely unnecessary. IMO parents that are using spanking as a method of discipline need to brush up on their parenting skills and/or devote more time to their children.

I think this statement is about as judgemental as you can get!!

You told us that if we spank our kids we are bad parents - did you really think this would not be jumped on?

I say more power to you for not spanking your kids -

and beating your kids is illegal!

 

[ktink]

I 100% agree. I'm not here judging others for how you raise your kids. I'm being personally attacked by everyone here and am still sticking it out to defend my point of view. The OP asked a question, I gave my honest answer and you guys are all over me.

I believe hitting children violates their basic human rights. That's it. I know that society is slowly evolving and one day hopefully in the near future, spanking will be illegal.

Anytime you have a firm belief on something and there's 2 different sides there will be a debate. But don't take it personal. I don't know you but I know you believe that spanking is wrong. I believe in spanking if no other measure works. So what that we go back and forth. I have no less opinion of you because you think differently than I do. We just both are standing our ground. Good for you and good for me. But I will argue to the end when I think I'm right. Uh- oh, looks like we may have something in common.

 

[WebmasterAlex]

This seems to be a topic that many people take personally. Please keep the discussion to the matter at hand and watch the personal jabs.
Thank you

 

[Sandy22]

 

[TinkerBess_SnowTori]

Before we had children my husband and I always assumed that there would come a time when we would HAVE TO spank them. How could you raise a good decent child without spanking them?

My girls are now 5 and 6 and my husband has never spanked them... he feels there is no need and never will be.

I wish I could say the same --- maybe it is because I am with them so much more but I have to say they have each gotten a couple swats on the butt from me when they were younger. But I don't do it anymore... I can't ... it just isn't nessesary... there are other methods that work better with them.

It could be their temperment... because they are good girls (most of the time) but they do question every rule and test their boundries.

I know I see children who are acting horribly - and I think ... that kid needs a good swat.

The spanking debate will outlive us all ----

 

[Sandy22]

 

[Aidensmom]

Well I apologize if that came off being judgemental. But everyone has their own standards by which they live by. In my experience, parents who spank don't want to give the time and effort to non-spanking methods of discipline. I don't mean that they don't spend quality time with their kids...what I mean is that they don't want to spend the extra time it takes to discipline without using spanking. The parents I personally know who spank use it as the quick and easy way to get the result they want.

But as I have said, I use it when the "extra time" methods don't work. I still am wondering about my question of how would you handle it if you put your child in timeout, and they refused to stay there and came over and bit you. What do you do at that point? I have also taken away toys for a certan period of time, etc. Sometimes the only way I have found to get my son to take notice is to spank him.

 

[ktink]

Well I apologize if that came off being judgemental. But everyone has their own standards by which they live by. In my experience, parents who spank don't want to give the time and effort to non-spanking methods of discipline. I don't mean that they don't spend quality time with their kids...what I mean is that they don't want to spend the extra time it takes to discipline without using spanking. The parents I personally know who spank use it as the quick and easy way to get the result they want.

I have seen people do this as well so I can see where your coming from but you can't generalize everyone for handling it in the same way. Trust me if that were the method that I practiced, I'd have the skinniest arms in history. With my youngest, you've got to take time and explain with her because she is headstrong, I don't know where she gets it from . And my oldest also has alot of questions that I do have to clarify on. We only use spanking as a last resort and it is on rare occasions. I know there are some that do swat for every little thing and that's not appropriate, and I don't think that any of us on here would condone that either.

 

[ktink]

And because we are both willing to stand up and fight for what we believe in, we are both great moms and role models for our children.

 

[sunni]

I 100% agree. I'm not here judging others for how you raise your kids. I'm being personally attacked by everyone here and am still sticking it out to defend my point of view. The OP asked a question, I gave my honest answer and you guys are all over me.

I believe hitting children violates their basic human rights. That's it. I know that society is slowly evolving and one day hopefully in the near future, spanking will be illegal.

I don't think people mean to attack you but to defend their parenting. Your first post says that people that spank are lacking parenting skills and neglect their children. Though we are unlikely to change your opinion, we feel the need to defend our ours against such statements.

As for spanking being illegal someday, what would you propose the punishment be? Jail? Would you want to separate children from loving, nuturing homes and dump them into an already overcrowded, broken down foster system? How evolved is that? I believe someday our society will evolve enough to realize it doesn't take a village, it takes parents!

 

[ktink]

But as I have said, I use it when the "extra time" methods don't work. I still am wondering about my question of how would you handle it if you put your child in timeout, and they refused to stay there and came over and bit you. What do you do at that point? I have also taken away toys for a certan period of time, etc. Sometimes the only way I have found to get my son to take notice is to spank him.

We've taken toys away as well and that does work for a while. I think it's just a matter of finding out which method works for each individual child. My two are day and night. The oldest you can give her the "you know better" look and she will tear up and that's all it takes. I can give the same look to the youngest and she will laugh at me. And it's really hard with her sometimes because different methods work on different days. Really the one that tends to work the best is standing in the corner, although it's not a corner it's just a wall and she just has to face the wall. I can send her to her room and she likes that because all of her stuff is in there. I can put her in time out on a little child sized sofa and that doesn't bother her. I can tell her she can't play outside for the afternoon, actually that one works well too. Hey I'll take any suggestions at this point.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

I believe someday our society will evolve enough to realize it doesn't take a village, it takes parents!

and how could that be policed???

 

[cstraub]

I have never spanked any of my three children- DS13, DS8 & DD5. They are great kids but have all pushed me to the edge at one point or another but yet I have chosen not to spank. I can't imagine hitting my children. I don't think I could live witht the guilt. That's just me. Hopefully it works out and the all end up being happy and balanced in their adult lives...

 

[Sandy22]

 

[WebmasterAlex]

We've taken toys away as well and that does work for a while. I think it's just a matter of finding out which method works for each individual child. My two are day and night. The oldest you can give her the "you know better" look and she will tear up and that's all it takes. I can give the same look to the youngest and she will laugh at me. And it's really hard with her sometimes because different methods work on different days. Really the one that tends to work the best is standing in the corner, although it's not a corner it's just a wall and she just has to face the wall. I can send her to her room and she likes that because all of her stuff is in there. I can put her in time out on a little child sized sofa and that doesn't bother her. I can tell her she can't play outside for the afternoon, actually that one works well too. Hey I'll take any suggestions at this point.

That is SO true. Kids are experts at pushing adult buttons. Parents need to be just as good at knowing how to push their kids buttons

 

[poohandwendy]

Dammit....where is Wendy when we need her?!!!! She was bottle-fed, publik skooled AND spanked!!!!!

LOL, I came in late to the game...is the popcorn still around? And you forgot that I had to sleep in my own bed...it was a rough childhood, I tell you!

I spanked my children when they were little, when my judgement determined it necessary. It was an effective tool for us and I never felt guilty about it. It is my job to raise my children in the best way I feel is available. I don't feel any need to justify my disciplinary decisions.

The beauty is that I make the decisions for my children and others can choose differently for theirs.