is it worth it?

[mcap2004]

I wouldn't buy. I'd rent points or do what you are doing. If you buy, its going to be very easy for your DH to let slip "you should come along Mom" - and before you know it you have three years of points invested in a "just one time" family vacation - and are renting extra points to cover all the costs....or you will end up being the bad guy - and trust me, DVC is not worth being the bad guy when it comes to your in laws. Being the bad guy when it comes to your in laws puts a lot of strain on a marriage. So, in your case - not worth it.

Thank you for that =) and I agree

 

[Deb & Bill]

Oh yes, sorry about the confusion. 10 is how many we are if my in laws go along with the SIL and BIL but I am only going into DVC for a familu of 4. I am not going to lose out on going to my family vacations with my kids because we have to bank and borrow for ppl that want to tag along. I don't mind an extra 2 like the MIL & FIL but anyone else needs to find their own way when it comes to lodging

When you add MIL and FIL, you have just gone from maybe a studio to definitely a two bedroom OR two studios at a minimum. That's a lot of extra points.

If you had a one bedroom with your four and one extra person came along, you might be able to squeeze them into the same one bedroom if you had a one bedroom with the sleeper chair. But not two extra.

 

[Dean]

Oh yes, sorry about the confusion. 10 is how many we are if my in laws go along with the SIL and BIL but I am only going into DVC for a familu of 4. I am not going to lose out on going to my family vacations with my kids because we have to bank and borrow for ppl that want to tag along. I don't mind an extra 2 like the MIL & FIL but anyone else needs to find their own way when it comes to lodging

We do family trips most years. I get accommodations and invite people. Historically we alternated my side and my wife's but the last few years we've been able to get enough space with our increased holdings and the Marriott changes to invite everyone. Fortunately we really don't have drama. One of the advantages of paying and planning is we control where, when, who etc. I have to say it's really been a blast. We've had no drama to speak of. It's my way of giving back to the family and getting people together that wouldn't otherwise consistently. Our group trips have been our best BY FAR.

However, I've read many horror stories on DIS and other places. When you already have people that tend to create drama, it seems they're almost always worse at Disney than elsewhere but the planner often talks themselves into the idea that they will be better than usual. The other aspect of timeshares and condo's is many have the idea that once you own them they are free. You give the impression there already tends to be drama with the in-laws. I wonder if you're not just better off saying nothing and telling them you went to Disney after you get back. Otherwise they'll either find a way to finagle their way in or to give you grief repeatedly that you didn't invite them. Plus, as Crisi suggests, they might find a way to either get you to pay for it or complain about the costs enough you wish you had. In general the blood relative needs to be the one that puts the foot down if it's needed.

 

[mcap2004]

We do family trips most years. I get accommodations and invite people. Historically we alternated my side and my wife's but the last few years we've been able to get enough space with our increased holdings and the Marriott changes to invite everyone. Fortunately we really don't have drama. One of the advantages of paying and planning is we control where, when, who etc. I have to say it's really been a blast. We've had no drama to speak of. It's my way of giving back to the family and getting people together that wouldn't otherwise consistently. Our group trips have been our best BY FAR.

However, I've read many horror stories on DIS and other places. When you already have people that tend to create drama, it seems they're almost always worse at Disney than elsewhere but the planner often talks themselves into the idea that they will be better than usual. The other aspect of timeshares and condo's is many have the idea that once you own them they are free. You give the impression there already tends to be drama with the in-laws. I wonder if you're not just better off saying nothing and telling them you went to Disney after you get back. Otherwise they'll either find a way to finagle their way in or to give you grief repeatedly that you didn't invite them. Plus, as Crisi suggests, they might find a way to either get you to pay for it or complain about the costs enough you wish you had. In general the blood relative needs to be the one that puts the foot down if it's needed.

When we take trips, most have been family trips with the inlaws. We have yet to take a trip with my side of the family. I do love the idea of going and not saying anything until we get back. Of course, we wouldn't hear the end of it from them but by then we would have already gone and come. ;-) most times it is drama free with them but my MIL is kind of on things HAVE to be done this way or that way. But sometimes being the bad guy can be a good thing but then again, as it was mentioned, I don't want there to be drama. Lots and lots to think about

 

[staceymay00]

Oh yes, sorry about the confusion. 10 is how many we are if my in laws go along with the SIL and BIL but I am only going into DVC for a familu of 4. I am not going to lose out on going to my family vacations with my kids because we have to bank and borrow for ppl that want to tag along. I don't mind an extra 2 like the MIL & FIL but anyone else needs to find their own way when it comes to lodging

Sorry if I missed this, but what happens now when your DH's family tags along? Do they pay their own way for everything? If you buy DVC and don't have the points to get everyone a room, your DH needs to take the lead in explaining that to his family. Don't even let them know you have the option to borrow points, buy additional points, etc., just tell them we have enough points for a room that sleeps four and that is it. Here's what you can do, though, if you like the idea of everyone staying together: 1) have them rent points for their own own rooms at the same resort or 2) if you'd like to upgrade to a 2BR villa, figure out the points you need if it is just your family and book a 2BR with that number of points, then have your relatives rent points for the remaining nights (pretty easy to do through David's DVC rental service). You can then link the nights and stay in the same villa.

We don't really have enough points to bring family or friends, and usually I am pretty happy about that! Actually, last trip my niece joined us so we had two adults and four kids in a 2BR instead of our family of five - no extra points needed since we would have booked a 2BR anyway. She was easy enough and we enjoyed sharing our Disney experience with her. I would never invite my in-laws to WDW, though, because they have told us more than once that they don't like Disney...based on their one visit forty years ago when it was "way too hot and crowded." Yep, Disney is the worst, that's why we keep going year after year. Other family members are not interested in Disney, or we don't have enough points to host an entire extra family or two that might be interested.

Good luck with your decision, and don't be afraid to take a vacation with just your DH and kids!

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

 

[Dean]

When we take trips, most have been family trips with the inlaws. We have yet to take a trip with my side of the family. I do love the idea of going and not saying anything until we get back. Of course, we wouldn't hear the end of it from them but by then we would have already gone and come. ;-) most times it is drama free with them but my MIL is kind of on things HAVE to be done this way or that way. But sometimes being the bad guy can be a good thing but then again, as it was mentioned, I don't want there to be drama. Lots and lots to think about

One thing I've seen with timeshares is that a nice calm private discussion separate from trip planning or before inviting them can be very helpful and often diffuse or avoid issues, this is the route we took when we started these trips back in 98. I developed and communicated several rules that included that there would be occasional ETOH but no one would be out of control, you don't wait on me/I don't wait on you, pay your part meaning direct expenses like meals, room charges, and don't bring drama or I'd exclude one from future invites.

In this situation it has to be your husband as the main line of communication else you would really be the evil one. A sit down without the kids where he does the talking and you explain that you're buying DVC to allow you to go more and save a little but that it's still expensive and you won't be able to use it to pay for others, might be a good idea (you know your situation so I'm more generalizing). Then don't make an exception later or try to make it cheaper for them such as renting them points or adding with a rental else you'll be starting all over in all likelihood. If there are things you could anticipate from the MIL (you mentioned she might be an issue), then simply talk about them directly where/when applicable. One mistake I've seen, and this seems to be more of a gender difference to a degree, is that some hint at these issues and assume that others will get the message. One has to be CLEAR, direct and not distracted. If the 2 of you look them in the eye are tell them the appropriate information and you get any hesitation or reluctance, you're likely in trouble. As I think staceymay00 was getting at, if you have a history of them paying for your trips, the clarity is even more important and there are likely to be considerable land mines. At the end of the day it is not fair to them to be unclear, esp if there is a family culture that makes issues likely.

 

[crisi]

The family issues may not be a matter of clarity - some people you can be crystal clear with - but they don't hear "Mom we aren't paying for sister and brother's room." And you both need to be on the same page, if her DH is thinking that when they own, she'll back down on the not treating the in laws, he is going to be a lousy deliverer of the message.

It sounds right now like her and her husband aren't on the same page regarding DVC and guests - that needs to be resolved before ANY purchase decision is made, or one of them is not going to get what they want from the purchase.

 

[Dean]

The family issues may not be a matter of clarity - some people you can be crystal clear with - but they don't hear "Mom we aren't paying for sister and brother's room." And you both need to be on the same page, if her DH is thinking that when they own, she'll back down on the not treating the in laws, he is going to be a lousy deliverer of the message.

It sounds right now like her and her husband aren't on the same page regarding DVC and guests - that needs to be resolved before ANY purchase decision is made, or one of them is not going to get what they want from the purchase.

When a couple is not on the same page in such matters, they must get that issue solved first. In this situation if he's not, I agree it won't go well but likely in a number of areas. Still, the non blood person involved is not likely to be successful alone. That alone may be enough reason not to buy in if that's the case, esp if it's likely the spouse may sabotage the agreements later.

 

[disneynutz]

I would buy just enough points for you. If and when relatives want to come, they can either buy their own contract, rent, or book a room through Disney.

One of our best WDW watching people experience was an extended family at our bus stop discussing how the DVC owner sister was taking advantage of them because the points cost almost nothing and she made them pay for the food.

It's a no win situation.

Bill

 

[mcap2004]

I would buy just enough points for you. If and when relatives want to come, they can either buy their own contract, rent, or book a room through Disney. One of our best WDW watching people experience was an extended family at our bus stop discussing how the DVC owner sister was taking advantage of them because the points cost almost nothing and she made them pay for the food. It's a no win situation. Bill

Wow! You can tell the sister had no idea what she was talking about because points are neither cheap nor free.

 

[mcap2004]

When a couple is not on the same page in such matters, they must get that issue solved first. In this situation if he's not, I agree it won't go well but likely in a number of areas. Still, the non blood person involved is not likely to be successful alone. That alone may be enough reason not to buy in if that's the case, esp if it's likely the spouse may sabotage the agreements later.

I agree with both you and Crissi and I actually did talk to my DH today about it and explained that I don't mind if they go but I'm not going to use up all my points for extra ppl to come too nor are we going to invite ppl every year. His siblings are going to have to figure it out because that's too many points and extra money we could use on our kids. These are our points and it's going to come out of our pockets. He said he will explain to his parents that yes, WDW is a place for family but he wants time with just HIS family that he has on his own now so that made me happy. Slowly but surely getting there.

 

[Dean]

I agree with both you and Crissi and I actually did talk to my DH today about it and explained that I don't mind if they go but I'm not going to use up all my points for extra ppl to come too nor are we going to invite ppl every year. His siblings are going to have to figure it out because that's too many points and extra money we could use on our kids. These are our points and it's going to come out of our pockets. He said he will explain to his parents that yes, WDW is a place for family but he wants time with just HIS family that he has on his own now so that made me happy. Slowly but surely getting there.

I can't speak to your family or your situation, only what you posted. As you posted it, I got the impression he wasn't likely to be clear and specific. Hopefully that's not the case as it is likely to lead to exactly the type of issues being discussed. For many, it's the "if you give them an inch, they'll take a mile" situation. IMO, in the type of situation you've posted, if you tell them you might invite them and pay part of the time, you'll likely be paying for them periodically and his extended family at some point. And later possibly buying more points to do so. Or the alternative is it'll all be on you. As I started with, if they tend to be a problem, they will be more of a problem where Disney is concerned. And to repeat a very important point, if you (2 of you as a couple) are not very clear and specific, you're inviting trouble. Hopefully for your sake this is not the case in your situation.

 

[mcap2004]

I can't speak to your family or your situation, only what you posted. As you posted it, I got the impression he wasn't likely to be clear and specific. Hopefully that's not the case as it is likely to lead to exactly the type of issues being discussed. For many, it's the "if you give them an inch, they'll take a mile" situation. IMO, in the type of situation you've posted, if you tell them you might invite them and pay part of the time, you'll likely be paying for them periodically and his extended family at some point. And later possibly buying more points to do so. Or the alternative is it'll all be on you. As I started with, if they tend to be a problem, they will be more of a problem where Disney is concerned. And to repeat a very important point, if you (2 of you as a couple) are not very clear and specific, you're inviting trouble. Hopefully for your sake this is not the case in your situation.

Thank you all for the advice. Much to take in. -.-

 

[Dean]

Thank you all for the advice. Much to take in. -.-

Good luck, I know we all hope it works out for you.