Is it worth it to quit my job?

[Fintastic]

We're expecting baby #2 any day now. Before we had our first, DH and I had talked at length and agreed that I'd be a SAHM when we had kids. Unfortunately when DD came along we couldn't afford it and I went back to work when she was six weeks old. It was so hard. I hated my job to begin with, and to have to go to work every day when all I wanted to do was stay with my little girl made me vow not to have any more kids until I could SAH with them - even if that meant it would be years in the future or maybe even never.

After DD turned five, DH and I talked about it again and we decided that we could afford for me to stay home for a year if we had another baby. I wanted DD to have a sibling so I decided that a year was better than nothing and we got pregnant after a couple months.

For the past few months, though, I've really been going back and forth. On one hand, I really want the chance to SAH even if it's only for a year. I don't want to have to send another brand new baby to daycare. I don't feel like I juggle working with motherhood very well. I want to do my grocery shopping at 10 AM and laundry at 2 PM instead of trying to do both simultaneously at 6 PM, fighting crowds of everybody else trying to do the same thing. I'm tired of fighting with DH about who's going to take off work when DD (and soon to be DS) is sick and needs to stay home. I'm tired of trying to find activities to do with DD on weekends and coming up short because everything is scheduled during the week.

On the other hand, I'd only be home for a year. When a year is up I'd have to go back to work again. Meaning if I quit my current job, after a year I'd have to start job hunting, and in this economy who knows how long it would take. If I happened to find a decent job I'd have to start all over with new duties, new coworkers, and maybe be taking a pay cut or having to drive farther than I do now.

If I were quitting for good, then sure, it's an easy decision. But if I have to go to back after a year I don't know that it's such a smart move. A year from now I'll be back at work anyway, so shouldn't I just suck it up and go back to work? At least this time around I can take three months off.

And working part time wouldn't be feasible because if I did it during the day, my paycheck wouldn't cover daycare for an infant, and DH's schedule isn't such that I would be able to do it evenings and weekends.

Advice?

 

[msmayor]

You need to take a good solid look at your budget because the only way you can continue to stay at home is if one salary can handle it.

Keep track of all your spending now and categorize an expense as "required because I am working" or "regular expense". Figure out what your true cost of working is (how many dinners out can you avoid? How many lunches out are no longer needed? How much will you save in daycare? In wardrobe costs? Gas costs?).

Me quitting work after our first was born was a no-brainer. After we tallied up the "costs" of me still working, we figured I'd end up working for about $2 an hour (after taxes and expenses). All that hassle for $2 an hour? No thanks. I found ways to save money and make it work.

 

[pyrxtc]

You need to take a good solid look at your budget because the only way you can continue to stay at home is if one salary can handle it.

Keep track of all your spending now and categorize an expense as "required because I am working" or "regular expense". Figure out what your true cost of working is (how many dinners out can you avoid? How many lunches out are no longer needed? How much will you save in daycare? In wardrobe costs? Gas costs?).

Me quitting work after our first was born was a no-brainer. After we tallied up the "costs" of me still working, we figured I'd end up working for about $2 an hour (after taxes and expenses). All that hassle for $2 an hour? No thanks. I found ways to save money and make it work.

Ditto

$500 a week in
-$200 daycare weekly
-$60 gas
-$50 lunches
-$30 weekly clothing allowance
= 40 hour week for 150 maybe ? Not worth it issing out on all that tiem wiht your kids.

 

[mom2faith]

You ladies ( and hubby's) HAVE to start campaigning to your state representatives to get your Mat Leave extended!!

I think 6 weeks is ridiculous (is that what you get?)

I am not bragging by any means, but in Canada we get 15 + 35 weekd for a total of 50, which is 1 year.

The first 15 weeks are for mom only, and you get them even if something goes wrong (God forbid!! ex - stillborn, etc).

The remaining are for parents - mom can use all 35 weeks, which is what usually happens or dad can use some or all. Or, you can each take 17 and be off at the same time.

It is so tragic for all of you that you need to make that choice at such a young age!! I mean, mom may not even be healed by 6 weeks, Lord knows you are not sleeping and what about breastfeeding??

Sorry, but this makes me very angry for you. It is not fair that you are all in this situation.

BTW - after the 50 weeks your employer MUST accept your return to the same or equivilent job at the appropriate pay. You do not lose senority, holidays, etc.

HUGS!!! To all of you!!!!!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

If you must return to work, I would take advantage of the full time alloted, then return to work. I would not quit a job if you need the income without another job in hand.

The Family and Medical Leave Act guarantees a new mother up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave if the company has more than 50 employees for at least 20 weeks of the year. This assumes that you have been with the company for at least one year.

You can also take your 12 weeks in any blocks of time you would like. You could decide to take 6 straight weeks and then every Tuesday and Thursday until you use up your weeks.

Good luck...

 

[susykt4]

Job hunting is SUCH a hassle. Do you have someone to babysit while you go to interviews? It seems that would be a huge amount of stress, especially if you don't actually want to get a job. That said, if you hate your current job, this would be an excellent excuse to quit and find something you may like better. It would also be a good trial to see if you could cut enough corners to make staying at home work and to see if you actually like it. (I did not.) Good luck with your decision and especially with your new baby!

 

[fakereadhed]

Why not try to save as much $ as you can in that year you are home, and then see if it's possible to continue after that year. As a SAHM you have more time to shop carefully, plan your meals, re-sell your kids clothes, etc. I know when I'm busy, I'm more likely to say forget the budget let's order out, or spend more on items because I am in a rush.

I was going to caution you about taking more than 4 years off because sometimes that can hurt your career, but when I thought about it I don't regret having a hard time when I go back in a couple of years. It was worth it!

I'm not even going to go there on the benefits of staying home with your kids that aren't monetary in fear of starting a firefight, but I have found the extra time spent with my kids to be priceless! They grow up so fast.

Best of luck with whatever decision you make.

 

[Fintastic]

A few months ago I went back and looked at how much it would cost me to work and I'd be bringing home about $600 a month. That's it. That was very discouraging. To me it doesn't seem worth it to work full time with all the stress for that little amount of money.

ETA: And now it would be even less because my company handed out 10% pay cuts that are effective until further notice.

 

[la79al]

I'm going to be among the minority here and say go back to work. I have not gone back to work since DD was born. Now I have to go back. She has never been in daycare, never even been with a babysitter. Her life is about to be turned upside down. If I knew I would have to go back eventually, I probably would have rather gone back at 12 weeks so she would be used to daycare, etc. Even if after a few weeks of work you decide to quit, at least you won't be left wondering how it would have worked out for you.

 

[la79al]

A few months ago I went back and looked at how much it would cost me to work and I'd be bringing home about $600 a month. That's it. That was very discouraging. To me it doesn't seem worth it to work full time with all the stress for that little amount of money.

ETA: And now it would be even less because my company handed out 10% pay cuts that are effective until further notice.

If you would only bring home $600 and that is all you need, could you maybe try to babysit in your home or find some other job that would allow you to stay with your son?

 

[StephMK]

A few months ago I went back and looked at how much it would cost me to work and I'd be bringing home about $600 a month. That's it. That was very discouraging. To me it doesn't seem worth it to work full time with all the stress for that little amount of money.

ETA: And now it would be even less because my company handed out 10% pay cuts that are effective until further notice.

What type of work do you do - as in how much do you have to keep up w/the industry & what is the typical job market for your job? Based on the take home salary fact, I would be the SAH mom & deal with the job situation in a year. A lot can change in a year and that is not much money for all the headaches of dr. appts, sick babies, lack of sleep, etc. There are several ways to earn $600 a month, depending on if you near a metro area. Country area might be different.

Who knows, in that year, could DH possibly get OT, promotion or raise if he's not having to share child responsibilities?

 

[drinkme]

There is a website where you can put in your numbers and see if it's worth it (financially) to go to work when you have a baby. You not only have to factor in the daycare costs, the fast food costs, the work clothes, etc, but also the taxes.

Unless your 2nd income is high, I would do anything I could to be able to stay home with the kids. I did it for about 3 1/2 years, and then only went back to work part time for the next several years. I just went to 40 hours a week about 6 months ago and it's such a hassle trying to juggle dinner, activities, etc. with the kids, and my kids are 9 & 10! I can't imagine working 40 hours with a newborn and a 5 year old.

Staying home, you can make all of your meals cheaply, you can cut coupons, you can scale back on activities to just free things or buy family annual passes.

Good luck.

 

[tjbaggott]

I have no idea if this is feasable for you. Could you take an unpaid leave of abesnce after your mat leave? If you could work it out with your employer to take your mat leave, then an upaid leve of absence for a total absence of 1year, then you stayed home for the first most important milestones, and would have a job to go back to (if the agreement is made in writing).

Here in Canada, government employees automatically get, if they want, up to 5 years of unpaid family leave, with the guarantee of a job to go back to. Depening on your type of work, 1 year might be something your boss would be willing to negotiate with you.

 

[disney_dreaming_mom]

I had my own business and worked an insane 60+ hours per week beginning about a week after my child was born. Now that he is 2 years old I really regret missing out on his first precious moments. I now work part time and my husband has a second job in addition to his main job so that we can avoid daycare (which in our area is about $1,200 per month) and I can stay home. I must admit I feel so happy that I now have time to actually cook, clean, and yes, cut coupons!!! I am able to spend the time with my son now rather than him being raised by the nanny.

If I could do it all over I would try to be able to stay at home with the baby even if it is tough financially at first. Learning how to coupon shop I have been able to learn to feed our family well for just $120 per month.

Best of luck to you with whatever decision you make!

 

[rt2dz]

I haven't read the replies, so this may have already been mentioned. You do have other choices.

You could take an extended leave of absence if your job will allow it (and in this economy many do), while you figure out how to cut expenses and see how it works. It costs money to work. Money for day care, money for commuting costs, money for lunches out, money for work wardrobe, etc. I remember when my sister figured out how much she was spending to work, she was only profiting $50 per week, so she became a SAHM.

Another option is to work at home. There are lots of ways to make money from home. You could do direct selling like Tastefully Simple, Avon, etc. If you're like me and that's just not your cup of tea, you could find a job that you can just do from home. I have a friend who is a travel agent (not Disney) that works for an online company and is able to work out of her house. I have another work-at-home friend that works for a realty company writing their press releases, home brochures, etc. A neighbor of mine works out of her house tutoring (she was a teacher). I have a friend of a friend who babysits in her house--not daycare, just babysitting the same kids four hours a day twice a week while the mom is taking college classes. And, yet another friend works at home doing clerical work from her house. The point is, take your job skills and find a way to make them work for you. My DH works full time for a major corporation, but fully from home; a little annoying really.

You could also look for a job part-time. If you really have to work, maybe 3 days a week would work better for you. You could still do the stuff you'd like to do, spend more time with your baby, and still bring in an income. Or maybe substitute teaching…Here you only have to have 60 college hours to sub and then you make $75 per day. You don’t need to sub every day, only when you want to. This would be good if you can find a sitter that you don’t have to have a very set schedule with.

My MIL had to work, so when her kids were little, she worked the late shift. DH's dad came home and his mother went to work. Just for a year or two until she felt better with child care.

The thing is to find a nice balance that you can live with.

 

[C.Ann]

If you're only going to clear $600 a month after taxes, I would take a long, hard look at how you could crunch your numbers so that you don't need that $600 a month..

It sounds like you really want to be home - with some "belt tightening", you just might be able to accomplish that..

Good luck!

 

[minnie1012]

You ladies ( and hubby's) HAVE to start campaigning to your state representatives to get your Mat Leave extended!!

I think 6 weeks is ridiculous (is that what you get?)

I am not bragging by any means, but in Canada we get 15 + 35 weekd for a total of 50, which is 1 year.

The first 15 weeks are for mom only, and you get them even if something goes wrong (God forbid!! ex - stillborn, etc).

The remaining are for parents - mom can use all 35 weeks, which is what usually happens or dad can use some or all. Or, you can each take 17 and be off at the same time.

It is so tragic for all of you that you need to make that choice at such a young age!! I mean, mom may not even be healed by 6 weeks, Lord knows you are not sleeping and what about breastfeeding??

Sorry, but this makes me very angry for you. It is not fair that you are all in this situation.

BTW - after the 50 weeks your employer MUST accept your return to the same or equivilent job at the appropriate pay. You do not lose senority, holidays, etc.

HUGS!!! To all of you!!!!!

I want to move to Canada! I got my 6 weeks then I applied for the family leave act but my boss denied what I asked for (even though the company does allow it). She said I could only have 4 of 12 weeks because it was "too busy". It was my second child and I had been working part time with reduced salary and she also said I couldn't continue that either! I had to be back in the office 5 days.

 

[littlbugmom]

A few months ago I went back and looked at how much it would cost me to work and I'd be bringing home about $600 a month. That's it. That was very discouraging. To me it doesn't seem worth it to work full time with all the stress for that little amount of money

Do you need that $600 a month? I think that's the biggest question. To someone whose finances depend on that money, it would be a lot....but only you can know if losing it will be too hard on your household budget.

Can you live without that money even after a year? What would happen if the year stretches to 18 months or longer? If you aren't able to find a job at the end of the year, will you be in financial trouble?

Also ask yourself if you decide to sah even after a year, will dh's salary alone cover college, retirement for both of you, emergency savings acct, etc..? If it covers that, monthly expenses and leaves breathing room, you probably can do without that $600. You and dh are the only ones who can know that, though.



Good luck....it's a hard decision, I know. So much to consider.

 

[bumbershoot]

A few months ago I went back and looked at how much it would cost me to work and I'd be bringing home about $600 a month. That's it. That was very discouraging. To me it doesn't seem worth it to work full time with all the stress for that little amount of money.

ETA: And now it would be even less because my company handed out 10% pay cuts that are effective until further notice.

No, that isn't that big of an amount, overall, especially given what I know I can save our family by being at home with DS. I've never asked for specifics, but I know hubby values me (financially) at quite a bit more than 600/month.

I hated my job to begin with...

I don't want to have to send another brand new baby to daycare.

I don't feel like I juggle working with motherhood very well.

I want to do my grocery shopping at 10 AM and laundry at 2 PM instead of trying to do both simultaneously at 6 PM, fighting crowds of everybody else trying to do the same thing.

I'm tired of fighting with DH about who's going to take off work when DD (and soon to be DS) is sick and needs to stay home.

I'm tired of trying to find activities to do with DD on weekends and coming up short because everything is scheduled during the week.

Oh hon, those things could easily be worth that missing 600. Unless you're truly in dire straits, with no extras, that is. If you're in that situation, and the 600 would have you lose your house, etc, ignore this. But if that 600 isn't vitally important, you've got to try to value your worth to the family and your needs/wants more.

Especially the fighting with hubby about who needs to take off work! You'll have TWO soon, and as someone with siblings, there were plenty of times when we wouldn't get sick at the exact same time, but over the course of 2 weeks. I don't know how my single mom did it, and I don't know how hubby and I would do it, if we were both WOH.

So with two, that means more arguments about who takes off work, etc etc. It means more activities to try to schedule on weekends, etc.

As for those weekends...sure, there's work to be done, but mainly that's b/c I'm kind of lazy, LOL. If I did all the house-related work during working hours, there would be some hubby-done things, but the rest of the weekend would be lovely and relaxing, or at least things that can be done altogether.

I actually ended up quitting work, and eventually stopped the temping and looking for other jobs, while we were just engaged. Immediately after the wedding I got pg, and he's been my only job ever since. In that time, hubby's salary has doubled. He says it's b/c he can focus on work, and not the other stuff, when he's there. If he has to work late he can, and he doesn't worry about other things. etc etc.

So I feel that someone being at home, even someone as lazy as I tend to be (and most people are NOT as lazy as I tend to be), can easily be worth that 600 or even more.



But like I said, if that 600 drops you guys off the financial cliff, ignore me.

 

[Fintastic]

The $600 isn't going to break us, especially if it's only for a year. I could find something to do that would bring that much in if it got tough. It just seems like such a WASTE to spend so much time away from my kids every day and only be bringing home the equivalent of $3.50 an hour.

I'm just concerned that with the state of the economy, it might be harder to find a new job when the year is up.