Is it rude to ask people to remove their.....

[HappyMommy2]

Disykat, I LOVE YOUR NEW TAG!!! LOL!

To answer the OP's question, yes, IMO it would be rude to ask an adult guest to remove his or her shoes. Period. If it's really important to you, leave hints--a pile of shoes by the door, slippers in a basket (though this grosses me out a bit) or whatever, and leave it at that. I think most people want to please their host/ess and, when they see a pile of shoes by the door, will cooperate if they are comfortable going shoeless (and maybe even if they're not). And if MOST people coming into your house take their shoes off (including the members of your household, who live there and walk on the floors every day), the few who don't won't make much of a difference. Certainly not enough of a difference to justify potentially embarrassing a guest in your home.

 

[disykat]

oh, geez. I knew I was in for trouble when I started talking about my underwear!

 

[AirForceRocks]

If I had a baby in the house crawling around I'd hate to think of all the disgusting things going into their mouth that had been picked up by a persons shoes. blah!

Don't you clean your floors? I know that when my kids were babies, I was cleaning floors/carpets all of the time.

 

[jipsy]

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.



No, I would never ask anyone that is not immediate family to remove their shoes before coming into my house. They are guests in my home and I want them to feel welcome as they are.

I worked with a lady once who was so anal about her house and the way it looked. Her carpet had to have the vacuum cleaner tracks a certain length and all going in the same direction. If someone walked across it and disturbed it, she revacuumed the room. She also made her family take the cushions OFF the couch before they sat down (on the hard springs) so that the cushions wouldn't squish down and wear out and be "non-uniform".

Who wants to live like that?

 

[Deb & Bill]

You can ask me all you want, but I'm leaving my shoes on. If you don't like it, you can ask again or ask me to leave. It'll be my last trip to your house. We wear shoes in our house unless we want to wear slippers or be barefoot. We don't ask our guests to remove their shoes.

 

[DisneyJules]

Originally posted by AirForceRocks
Don't you clean your floors? I know that when my kids were babies, I was cleaning floors/carpets all of the time.

Of course we clean the floors! I'm talking about when the people are over, walking all over your floors with dirty shoes. What kind of flooring do you all have in your homes? Hardwood I could possibly make an exception but carpet? It would be filthy.

 

[Bojangles]

Am I spending the night? If so, at some point the shoes are coming off in the house. If not, I would prefer to wear them. I would never dream of making a grown-up remove shoes in my home. If it's muddy out, the kids (+ their friends) know to leave them in the foyer.

 

[Melora]

Can't believe there are SO many responses... I haven't read them all but thought I would throw in my 2 cents.

We do not wear our shoes in the house. We enter the house in a tiled entry and put our shoes in a nice wood with closing doors cabinet in the entry way. (well most of us do..sometimes they get left out... Shame on ME!)

I never ask people to remove their shoes (although I would rather our carpets NEVER got walked on by people who have just traipsed across the lawn). An awful lot of people who come over notice our cabinet (and the occasional shoe left out by the door) and ask if I would like them to take off their shoes. It depends on how long they are staying. If its nurses for my mom, or someone who won't be there long, I always say not to worry. If its a guest who will be here awhile I always tell them whatever makes them comfortable.

Once when my hubby and I were still doing our home theater business we worked for a lady who was a fanatic about not wearing shoes ANYWHERE in her house. She had a fit when the movers came in and didn't want to take off their boots. (Against regulations they said) so she made them wear booties over there shoes. I do have to add though that her carpets were the whitest white.. but what thinking person has white (really white)carpets? (OK all you people with white carpet...go ahead and yell at me)

I think the only time I would ask directly for a person to take off their shoes was if it were raining and the peoples shoes were muddy. But then I would hope that person would have enough sense not to walk on my carpet with obviously messy dirty shoes.

 

[Pongo69]

Rude to some, but to me it all depends onwho it is I'm asking to remove their shoes. Family members no problem because they are family, but guest(non family members) is a different story. If I invited non family members over I would not ask these people to remove their shoes. I think that would be tacky to do so(I'm not saying your tacky) , but we are all entitled to our own opinions.

 

[hpsauce]

Hi Guys,

I just wanted to add that I also am Canadian and have always taken my shoes off in other peoples' homes, and others have always done the same in my home.

I know that this does not answer the OP's question, but I truly don't understand the concept of keeping one's shoes on. I'd say between snow and rain, the ground is wet here about 70% of the time. If you have carpet, this means it will be dirty and wet. Of course we mop our hardwood and tile and vacuum our carpets, but to get the outside wet dirt clean, you'd have to be shampooing your carpet on a regular basis, correct? We do not do that here! Besides, for at least 6 months out of the year (November to April) our tile entranceway where we take off our shoes is absolutely filthy and soaking with a grey slushy mess. We clean that area frequently, but our entire home would be like that if we wore our outside shoes all the time!

When people are at their own homes, don't they get comfortable and put their feet up on the couch or sit on the bed ever? How is that possible with outside shoes on all the time?

When I am planning to go to someone's house, I plan my socks to go with my outfit. I have cute socks. If I think my feet might be cold, I wear two pairs of socks. If I'm wearing pantyhose, I wear socks on top or bring socks to put on when I get there. I have never been to an event fancy enough at someone's house that I needed to keep my shoes on. In fact, during the winter, if we go to fancy places that aren't even homes (reception halls, other party venues) it would be considered rude here not to change out of our outside shoes or boots into dressier clean shoes.

One more thing -- I was at the doctor's office yesterday in a medical highrise building. All down the hallway, there were rubber mats outside each door. There was a sign on every door asking people to take their muddy boots off. Did I think it was rude? Absolutely not.

Sauce

 

[dianeschlicht]

Originally posted by DizzieDizney
shoes before they enter your home? And is it rude if those people include your in-laws or relatives? Furthermore is it rude if one of your in-laws is paralized on one side of the body. I mean he can walk and everything. He even drives. Just limps when he walks. I just hate when people wear shoes indoors. Especially in my home where I like to go barefoot.

ABSOLUTELY! I find it to be very rude. I have bad feet and need to wear orthotics inside my shoes for both support and to keep the pain endurable. I really hate it when I enter someone's home and am EXPECTED to remove my shoes. I would rather stand on a rug for 5 minutes and make sure my shoes are very clean before I walk around. I would never walk around anyone's home in dirty shoes, but I find it extremely rude to be expected to remove them.

 

[AirForceRocks]

Originally posted by DisneyJules
Of course we clean the floors! I'm talking about when the people are over, walking all over your floors with dirty shoes. What kind of flooring do you all have in your homes? Hardwood I could possibly make an exception but carpet? It would be filthy.

I have carpeting, tile and parquet. Does the carpet sometimes get dirty when people are there? Of course, but then I clean it.

There was a sign on every door asking people to take their muddy boots off. Did I think it was rude? Absolutely not.

I agree that expecting people to take off snow boots, etc is not a problem. As I said before, we take ours off in the garage.

 

[hpsauce]

AFR:

I agree that expecting people to take off snow boots, etc is not a problem. As I said before, we take ours off in the garage. [/B][/QUOTE]

But we wear boots and shoes that get wet and slushy for literally half the year! When people come to your house between November and April, do they take their boots and shoes off in the garage? Or do they wear them inside?

Sauce

 

[AirForceRocks]

Guests normally leave their boots on the porch, and bring shoes in to wear. I think you're missing the point here - the OP wasn't talking about snow boots, etc. She was talking about regular shoes. And then people responded with absolute horror at the idea that anyone would ever wear shoes of any kind in someone else's home.

I just find that notion very, very odd.

 

[SeaSpray]

I don't ask people to remove their shoes when they visit my home, but I really wish it was the custom in our society to do so. This way, it wouldn't seem like an intrusion, and all of our floors would be a lot cleaner

I am about to install a new rule in our home for DSs: Take off your shoes on the back porch! We've had snow on the ground here for weeks which slowly melts and when DSs come home from school they drag mud into the house. I have no idea where all this dirt is coming from, they walk on the sidewalks and there are no patches of dirt between their bus stop and our house. I'm assuming it's the sand they put down on the roads to make them less slippery. I thought that making them come in the back door would help but all it's done is allow them to track this slush ALL through the house instead of only from the front door to their bedrooms. LOL

P.S. An interesting thing I've noticed is that DSs, ages 15 and 12, have many friends who come over and automatically remove their shoes at the door! Apparently they are used to doing this in their own homes.

 

[chager]

Originally posted by Melora

Once when my hubby and I were still doing our home theater business we worked for a lady who was a fanatic about not wearing shoes ANYWHERE in her house. She had a fit when the movers came in and didn't want to take off their boots. (Against regulations they said) so she made them wear booties over there shoes. I do have to add though that her carpets were the whitest white.. but what thinking person has white (really white)carpets? (OK all you people with white carpet...go ahead and yell at me)

This reminds me of when we visited a church members house when I was younger. They had white carpet, white furniture, and glass tables. Instead of asking people to take their shoes off, they had you wipe your feet and then walk on the clear plastic runners that were placed throughout the house. The runners were placed in front of the furniture and between rooms. I felt like I was in a museum or something!
As far asking people to take their shoes off I usually don't. (GAve up since our backdoor opens into the living room and the kids often forget and run through to the bathroom with their shoes on)However I know which of my friends/relatives prefer not to have shoes worn in their homes and I will respect their wishes. (I always wear clean non-holey socks when I go to visit people ) Our best friends always remove their shoes becuase their baby plays on the carpet. They don't want any toxins from shoes deposited on the carpet. (Yes you could have stuff on your shoes if people have treated their yards) I would suggest either getting some cheap sock slippers and/or telling people before they come that you prefer shoes not be worn in the house. That way they can bring slippers or extra socks with them. Or you could pick up some runners and put them down when company is coming. I would not be offended if you asked me to remove my shoes. After all I'm NOT the person that has to pay for your carpet cleaning or mop your floors.

 

[tkyes]

Guests normally leave their boots on the porch, and bring shoes in to wear. I think you're missing the point here - the OP wasn't talking about snow boots, etc. She was talking about regular shoes. And then people responded with absolute horror at the idea that anyone would ever wear shoes of any kind in someone else's home.

I own snow boots, as do most people I know that live here. I only wear my boots when I'm outside in the snow for long periods of time, ie. shoveling or playing outside. Otherwise my regular shoes or dress boots stay on me from the time I leave home and then return back home after work. So in essence I'm saying that my regular shoes are my snow shoes. They have snow and slush on them when I walk in the door. I know some will say that we should wear snow boots and change. Honestly, that really isn't practical here, it's just messy here far too often to be changing your shoes back and forth.

I think possibly here in Minnesota this happened out of necessity. Many above posters said they would take their shoes off when they entered someone's home if their shoes were wet or muddy. From October through May then you would be doing that here. I'm sure it just grew out of habit that if you've taken your shoes off 8 months out of the year you just automatically do it the rest of the year. It just becomes automatic. Plus, if you've taken your shoes of for 8 months out of the year, you've become very comfortable without shoes, so it's now more comfortable just to go without them.

I think there were only a couple people in this entire thread that said they would come out and ask someone to take their shoes off.



Have a great day everyone!

ps. did anyone try the shoe test?

tamie

 

[KarenC]

Originally posted by tkyes

I'm just getting the impression that people are thinking we are all rude and hostile to our guests, but our guests think nothing of it because this is what they do in their homes as well. It's normal here.

I think I've mentioned that I've recently sent my oldest child up to Minnesota for school (go gophers). I always figured the midwest was the midwest and didn't expect my daughter to experience culture shock two states away. She's blond and has a Scandanavian last name, I figured she'd fit right in.

It is incredible to me how many cultural differences she has found between here and there. My daughter often reports what she perceives to be rude and hostile attitudes toward her because she isn't from Minnesota. They call her "city girl", she thinks they are insulting her. She's some kind of weirdo because she's never eaten venison. Maybe she visited someones home and left her shoes on! (Please note that I think this is mostly perception, but she definitely feels like an outsider and had a real hard time making friends, which is fairly unusual for her.)

This thread is a clue to why the world is such a mess. If people from different places in our own country see wearing shoes in the house as either rude or expected, how can we ever resolve bigger picture cultural differences with our global neighbors? Not that anyone's going to have a war over shoes...

 

[tkyes]

She's some kind of weirdo because she's never eaten venison.

LOL! Nope, they are the weirdos. (I have eaten venison, just not a huge fan)

 

[DizzieDizney]

Originally posted by Michelina
I guess nobody's grown up in a Japanese or Korean household. My mother would die before people walked around her house with their shoes on. EVERYBODY takes off their shoes, even door to door salespeople and the life insurance guy.
I read a story about a foreign exchange student who went to Japan and washed her sneakers in her host family's washing machine, the mom had to buy a new washing machine because it was dirtied by the shoes!

I lived in Japan for 10yrs. I am starting to realize that not only is this a regional thing..it's a cultural thing. In Japan you would not be allowed in someone's home w/ shoes on. Not only do Japanese people sleep on the floor (futons) they sit on the floor. Their dinner table is close to the floor and they sit on pillows when eating dinner. My experience in Japan was a great one. I learned alot and understand their culture as regards to shoe removal. Not only do most Japanese require you to remove shoes before entering a home some Japanese facilities require
you to remove shoes. For ex: health centers, schools, some restuarants If some of you find that strange then you're really going to think it's strange that Japanese people have to shower first before entering the bathtub