Is it rude to ask people to remove their.....

[Lanshark]

Yep, it would be rude

 

[C.Ann]

Would you invite guests over for coffee and then serve it in a styrofoam cup - or serve them dessert on a paper plate - so you didn't have to wash dishes after they leave? To me the whole "take your shoes off because I don't want to have to clean the rug/floor" is the same scenario..

When choosing flooring/carpeting for an area of your home near the entrance way (where there is going to be heavy traffic), it's best to choose something that is easily cleaned - so you don't have to ask your guests to remove their shoes.. A door mat outside the door - and another right inside the door - will usually do the job..

Many people don't feel comfortable without their shoes on (for varying reasons) and many people have such bad foot odor that once you have asked them to remove their shoes, you might find yourself wishing you hadn't..

I've never asked anyone to remove their shoes when entering my home and when I've been asked to do so elsewhere, I have not made a return visit..

That's not to say that I won't "voluntarily" remove my shoes if it's a snowy/muddy day - but to be "asked" to remove them by the host sends the wrong message in my opinion..

 

[llfowl]

I think that it is rude. Some people have stinky feet and aren't comfortable walking around someone else's house knowing that they have stinky feet.

 

[browneyes]

Dunno if it's considered rude or not. If someone asks me to take off my shoes before I enter their house, I oblige though. I hate to wear shoes anyway.

 

[Serena]

I don't consider it rude, just wierd. I had a friend in germany that had white carpets. I was warned ahead of time that I would need to take my shoes off, so I was prepared. no big deal

 

[PammyK]

IMO, a good hostess is more concerned with the comfort of her guests than the state of her possessions.

 

[tkyes]

I would NEVER leave my shoes ON in someone's house!!!

Maybe it's the area I live in, it's snowy, muddy, rainy here quite a bit. Only once have I been to someone's house where they said "oh, you can leave your shoes on" and I said "no, that's fine" and took them off. I didn't want my black shoes scuffing their hardwood floor.

I think some people need to get new socks if you're that embarrassed to take your shoes off.


I would never ask someone, but I don't know anyone would would leave them on either, that's just rude to me to assume someone wants dirt all over there carpet and floors.


tamie

 

[KathyTX]

Maybe it's a regional thing.

We don't have the problem you're describing of tromping through snow and mud here, so our shoes are not particularly dirty. But where I live socks are generally something we wear inside our shoes, not instead of shoes.

I don't assume someone WANTS dirt all over their carpet or floors, but floors and carpet are meant to be walked on. And I will walk on them in my shoes.

If I should happen to slog through mud and snow on my way in, I'll happily wipe my shoes thoroughly before coming in, or remove my shoes. But in the normal course of things and in normal weather, shoes are part of my clothing, and I will stay dressed unless I'm in my own home.

(Did anyone see the episode of Sex in the City where Carrie was told to remove her shoes at a party? I think the hosts were anal about their flooring... She was wearing new Manolo Blahniks, and they were stolen! Hysterical!)

 

[tkyes]

But where I live socks are generally something we wear inside our shoes, not instead of shoes.

Same here, socks are not worn instead of shoes. I leave the house with shoes on and wear them outside. When I go inside someone's house their flooring is not grass and dirt, it's clean carpeting and I am not worried about getting my socks dirty on their floor.

We have a mat outside our door and inside our door. You should still see the mess our entry way can become, beyond the rugs. I am constantly scrubbing that area, I can't imagine if that mess was tracked all throughout my house!

I agree it's mostly an issue with the snow and mud.

Again, I would never ask someone - it's also never been an issue though since everyone I know removes their shoes.

This is an interesting thread. I've never given this any thought before. It's fun to read others opinions.

tamie

 

[disykat]

Originally posted by tkyes
I would NEVER leave my shoes ON in someone's house!!!

Maybe it's the area I live in, it's snowy, muddy, rainy here quite a bit. Only once have I been to someone's house where they said "oh, you can leave your shoes on" and I said "no, that's fine" and took them off. I didn't want my black shoes scuffing their hardwood floor.

I think some people need to get new socks if you're that embarrassed to take your shoes off.


I would never ask someone, but I don't know anyone would would leave them on either, that's just rude to me to assume someone wants dirt all over there carpet and floors.



tamie

Everyone here has agreed that they would take their shoes off before entering if they were visibly dirty.

So would it be okay if I asked you to leave your shoes on if you came to my house? Perhaps you would be better off getting shoes that don't scuff if you're embarrassed to leave them on?

Could I leave my shoes on if I brought a doctor's note to your house about my ankles?

 

[DisneyJules]

I think it's rude to be wearing your shoes in someone else's home. I would never imagine doing such a thing. I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask someone to remove their shoes at the front door before coming in. Who wants dirty carpets from dirty shoes?
As others were saying I guess it depends on what's on your shoes. But I know even in summer here, my shoes normally have dust and dirt on them and I still wouldn't consider walking all over the house with them on.

 

[tkyes]

So would it be okay if I asked you to leave your shoes on if you came to my house? Perhaps you would be better off getting shoes that don't scuff if you're embarrassed to leave them on?

Could I leave my shoes on if I brought a doctor's note to your house about my ankles?

Sure, you could ask me to leave my shoes on if I came to your house. I don't know why you would want me to - but if that's what you want, absolutely!

All shoes can scuff floors or leave marks. I'm not embarrassed to leave my shoes on at all. I only said I would take them off out of respect for the homeowners carpet or floor, because shoes are harder on those things than stocking feet.

I also said I would never ask anyone to take their shoes off. I'm sorry to hear about your ankles.

Tamie

 

[IloveDMB]

Originally posted by KathyTX

(Did anyone see the episode of Sex in the City where Carrie was told to remove her shoes at a party? I think the hosts were anal about their flooring... She was wearing new Manolo Blahniks, and they were stolen! Hysterical!)

I was totally thinking about this episode when originally reading the thread. It was too funny, that episode.

 

[Pembo]

Yes it is rude to ask people to remove their shoes.

I agree with everything C.Ann said.

 

[KatelynnsAuntie]

Maybe it is just a regional thing, because I don't know anyone who asks people to remove their shoes around here (San Jose area). If my shoes were muddy or wet, etc, then I would automatically take them off in someone else's home (and mine too, for that matter.) I don't know if I consider it rude or not, but I do know if I were expected to remove my shoes in someone else's home I would want to know ahead of time. My feet get very cold very easily and I would definately be wearing the warmest socks I own.

 

[Fishbone†]

I agree with DisneyJules. I think it's rude to leave your shoes on when you enter someone's house.

First of all, do you know what kind of things you step on outside..... even if you don't live in the tundra like Tamie and I? People spit on the ground.... animals relieve themselves on the ground..... other things happen on the ground. Ewwww!!! It's not just mud and wet........ although that should seal the deal. The germs on my shoes should be left in the entryway not tracked throughout their house

I would less concerned about a couple of hours of apparent "discomfort" (??) for me, than added wear and tear or potential damage of someone else long-term possessions. It's VERY common for people to remove their shoes when they enter houses here...... in fact, I don't know anyone who doesn't and would find it rude if they just walked in, so you put good socks on before you go visiting. Oh, and my shoes are as much a part of me being dressed as my coat is...... I wouldn't consider someone offering to take my coat when I come in as "getting undressed". Shoes are a part of my outside clothing.

This whole thread is very interesting to me as the opinions and accepted practices of different areas are so different. I went to school in Kentucky, and I found the "culture" differences hard to navigate. What was acceptable up here (ie. addressing elders by their first name), was jaw-dropping down there. I know because the first time I did it, the collective gasp sucked all the air out of the room. I had no idea. I'm sure that goes both ways..... it's a bit eyebrow-raising for someone to just brazenly walk in with their shoes on. (And, I'm not saying one is right and one is wrong...... just different things are acceptable or not) So, if you're coming over for coffee, wear your good socks, and bring a coat..... it's cold here.

And by the way, I would NEVER be brave enough to ask someone to take their shoes off (unless you're one of my nieces), but I HATE stepping in tracked-in snow, so you might hear me voice my irritation the first time I have to change my wet socks.

 

[disykat]

Originally posted by tkyes
Sure, you could ask me to leave my shoes on if I came to your house. I don't know why you would want me to - but if that's what you want, absolutely!


Tamie

Sorry to seem like I'm picking on you, but I can't see why you would say this. There have been numerous reasons listed on this thread. (By my count many more people prefer to leave their shoes on!)

1) feet get cold
2) many people consider socks underwear
3) foot injuries needing the support of shoes
4) stinky feet (if you read the directions on any carpet, they explain that foot oils attract dirt making the carpet hard to clean)
5) not wanting their company to get dog hair on their socks
6)not wanting a pile of shoes by the door

My main reasons are 4 - your foot oil on my carpet (I can clean dirt up easily) and 6 - your shoes by my door. Also 3 - I will be wearing mine. As for 2 - I learned that lesson the hard way that other people don't consider socks underwear and I'd better have mine company ready if I go to their homes!

In my area this seems to be an age thing. I don't know anyone over 40 that has a no shoe rule, but it seems to be getting more common among the younger set.

 

[crazelion]

I would be hopping mad if someone ask me to take my shoes off before coming into there house. I where ankle braces and do not won't anyone to see them. I would leave your house and would not return.

 

[KathyTX]

I'm really curious about something else now...

For those who always take their shoes off and expect guests to, does this mean you only wear sneakers and oxfords- the types of shoes you might wear heavy socks with?

Here, we frequently wear pumps, heels, or boots with stockings or pantyhose... I'm really concerned about the practicality of the "shoes off" rules and where it intersects with fashion.

So, if you're wearing a dress with stockings and heels, do you carry a pair of socks with you to put on when you take your shoes off? And how strange does that look?

If I'm wearing dressy slacks, they're going to drag the floor if I'm barefoot. They're the right length with my shoes on. Should I ruin my slacks by letting them drag?

And if sanitation or dirt is the real issue, why don't you just wear galoshes over your shoes when you're outdoors?

I'm guessing we have very different ideas of normal fashion, because I'm really missing the practicality of no shoes in the house...

 

[tkyes]

don't worry Disneykat - I don't think you are picking on me. I'm just one of the few discenting opinions - well not really, I still think it's rude to ask someone to take off their shoes, that I agree with.

1) feet get cold
2) many people consider socks underwear
3) foot injuries needing the support of shoes
4) stinky feet (if you read the directions on any carpet, they explain that foot oils attract dirt making the carpet hard to clean)
5) not wanting their company to get dog hair on their socks
6)not wanting a pile of shoes by the door

My main reasons are 4 - your foot oil on my carpet (I can clean dirt up easily) and 6 - your shoes by my door. Also 3 - I will be wearing mine.

Ok - this is why you want me to leave [/b]my[/b] shoes on right?

1. why would you be worried if my feet are cold?
2. ok - never knew that, didn't realize socks were to feet as a bra was to your chest - covering up something not exposed in public.
3. again, why would you be worried about my feet needing support?
4. understandable
5. ok - I can wash my socks though. Are you (not meaning you specifically) not worried about me getting dog hair on my clothes though?
6. again, I can understand this, I have a large entry area though, but I have lived in a house with a small one.

Why would it matter to you if you are wearing your shoes that I'm not wearing mine? (not being sarcastic just asking)


Here's a question though - to quote Pammyk (hope that's ok Pammyk)

IMO, a good hostess is more concerned with the comfort of her guests than the state of her possessions.

What if your guest is more comfortable with their shoes off?

I don't think it's an age thing (IMO), most likely a regional thing. We take shoes off when we enter my moms, aunts, grandmas, great aunts, etc, houses. I have been told to take my shoes off ever since I had shoes to take off.

This thread is fascinating