Is it ok to bash your spouse on the DIS?

[FlightlessDuck]

I'm wondering if anyone who said "yes" actually has their SO also on the DIS.

 

[sparks19]

You know... my hubby came home on Friday after work. On Fridays they leave the office early and then go to the bar for a business "meeting" LOL. They are a very small company with less than 10 employees so they do this most weeks. NO they don't drink heavily or anything and then drive home. they go and have a beer and grab something to eat and bond LOL.

ANYWAY... he came home on Friday after the bar meeting and he walked in the door gave me a huge hug and said He loves me and how he's so lucky. Now this is not unusual. he hugs me and tells me he loves me ten times a day lol but this was different.

he then went on to tell me about how they all basically sat around and complained about their spouses. not unusual for guys but they were complaining their wives don't like that they do this or won't let them do that or want to know where they are or what they are doing and how one wife doesn't like that one guy coaches soccer AND plays soccer multiple nights a week and she's always stuck home with the kids while he's out playing and another guy got a call from his fiance and she was "complaining" that he wasn't home yet (it wasn't even 6 yet... hubby usually gets home from these about 6:30pm so it's not like they are all nighters or anything just for some perspective on how long these "meetings" take).

anyway this is getting to be longer than I expected so I'll cut to the chase. Hubby just said he sat there and didn't really say much because he really has nothing to complain about (not true lol... I'm a terrible house keeper but I am a pretty laid back wife lol). he says he can't believe I never complain about him going to hockey once a week or the overtime he has to put in at work from time to time or when he goes hunting. he just looked at me and said "Why don't you EVER complain about me? I feel like you never get to do anything you want to do and I do all the stuff I want to do that takes me away from the house"

And he may have just been paying me lip service... but I have no reason not to believe that he really feels that way. he tells me that stuff all the time. I know he feels bad when he leaves me home alone but why? I could go out if I wanted to and leave him home with our DD but I'm a home body lol I would leave the house and then be "hmmm so now what?" LOL

So No for us it is NOT ok to bash your spouse. If you really have a problem you need to talk to them. I've had the relationships where we do nothing but complain about each other and then realized... WHY am I in this relationship? why would I be in a relationship with someone who I have nothing but complaints about? I wouldn't. Not anymore. waste of time. I'd much rather spend my life with someone who loves me and respects me and who I love and respect as well.

BUT we do pick on each other all the time lol. we tease and poke fun at each other and people look at us like we are crazy LOL I'm sure we look like the bickering couple but really we are laughing the whole time. it's just part of our dynamic.

 

[Lucky4me]

Gossiping is talking about what is going on in someone else's life, not your own.
Telling a friend your troubles, marital or not, is not gossip.