Is it ok to bash your spouse on the DIS?

[IdesOmarch]

Because your title was "the woman BASHING thread"......

Really? Are you serious. That part of it was an obvious joke, with an underlying minor complaint. I'm sure your relationship is perfect though.

 

[SeaSpray]

I feel very strongly about not bringing personal things about my spouse to any website or message board. He doesn't talk about me behind my back either. Even my friends know I don't gossip about my marriage but they are free to do it if they want to. The exception to me would be abuse and abandonment-requesting help in those issues. I am aware that I may be in a minority here. What do you think? I'm just going to read and watch the poll numbers. Thanks for your interest!!!

I pretty much feel the same way that you do. We really don't have any issues that we don't resolve in a positive way. And I don't tend to run to the DIS over minor issues in my life, in general. At least, I don't think that I do. LOL

However, like you said, if I were ever in a seriously bad situation, I might reach out for help here.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Really? Are you serious. That part of it was an obvious joke, with an underlying minor complaint. I'm sure your relationship is perfect though.

Yet another time when the internet fails to convey humor &/or sarcasm. I am a huge fan of sarcasm but without voice and expression it can fall flat. To be honest when I read it I didn't really get that it was being funny either.... more retaliatory and a bit biting.

But then you have other posts that are more humorous then anything else. Sometimes it's hard to read a persons intent. Sorry I came down hard on you over there

 

[sparks19]

No I don't post bad things about my husband. sure there are things he does that bother me and vice versa but if we have a fight or something I NEVER bring that stuff to a forum and neither does he. Of course we try to resolve fights right then and there because if we don't then they fester and it just blows up when it doesn't need to get to that point.

He is my best friend and my partner so I don't talk to people about him like he's an idiot. I know people that do this on forums. they post all the time about how stupid their husband is or what dumb thing he did that day or how he ticked them off. I don't get that. My husband and I make it a point to never treat each other like we're stupid. I don't know why someone would want to talk that way about their spouse to other people. if you think your spouse is such an idiot why did you marry them? I don't get it.

NOW that being said... hubby and I pick on each other A LOT lol. it's just our dynamic. We tease each other and make light fun. People think we are strange lol but it works for us. but I wouldn't seriously go around saying things that would probably hurt them if I said it to their face.

 

[IdesOmarch]

Yet another time when the internet fails to convey humor &/or sarcasm. I am a huge fan of sarcasm but without voice and expression it can fall flat. To be honest when I read it I didn't really get that it was being funny either.... more retaliatory and a bit biting.

But then you have other posts that are more humorous then anything else. Sometimes it's hard to read a persons intent. Sorry I came down hard on you over there

Don't mention it, Your cool and you get it. I realize some people just don't have a sense of humor, and that's ok, the world needs boring people too.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

Same thing I said over there...

As a general rule I do not bash my husband online. It's way too easy to just rant and rant online to strangers, and it's not fair. Things written online are there forever, it's too easy to go back and read it and get angry all over again. Your spouse (or children!)could find it and be pretty unhappy with you, your spouse doesn't get to share their side of the story, and you are most likely exaggerating and/or not being objective if you write something out in the heat of an argument.

So aside from the minor annoyance (like not putting dishes in the sink!), I won't be joining any conversation that is spouse-bashing, I just don't think it is appropriate.

 

[JerseyJanice]

I'm going with "other" because I don't really care what anyone else says about their spouse, whether they're venting or just joking around.

My husband could be a rich source of humorous material, but I rarely post about him anymore. It's happened too many times where someone took what I wrote the wrong way and inferred a load of nonsense about me and my marriage.

If I were sincere about, say, punching him in the face, I wouldn't be bragging about it on the internet. If I wrote that, I wouldn't want to have someone take it so seriously, they'd start lecturing me on how lucky I am to have a husband. Not that this has happened...

 

[IdesOmarch]

I'm going with "other" because I don't really care what anyone else says about their spouse, whether they're venting or just joking around.

My husband could be a rich source of humorous material, but I rarely post about him anymore. It's happened too many times where someone took what I wrote the wrong way and inferred a load of nonsense about me and my marriage.

If I were sincere about, say, punching him in the face, I wouldn't be bragging about it on the internet. If I wrote that, I wouldn't want to have someone take it so seriously, they'd start lecturing me on how lucky I am to have a husband. Not that this has happened...

Oh and yeah, if you post that your husband annoys you because he can't get the dirty dishes to the sink and leaves them where you'll step on them, there will no doubt be some poster that flames you and says you are now officially heading for a divorce.

 

[JerseyJanice]

Oh and yeah, if you post that your husband annoys you because he can't get the dirty dishes to the sink and leaves them where you'll step on them, there will no doubt be some poster that flames you and says you are now officially heading for a divorce.

Many moons ago, we had just gotten a new car and I spilled a frozen Coke in the backseat after DH had just lectured me about being careful with that drink in the car. I cleaned it up and didn't tell him because I wasn't in the mood for hearing, "I told you to be careful with that drink!" sort of like, "I told you so!"

I wrote about it, and the next thing I knew, a bunch of posters were saying that I must be an abused wife to be that afraid of him. Geez, I posted the tale because I thought it was funny and ironic, but I was painted as a model client for Shelter Our Sisters.

So now I try to keep a lid on the husband humor. Not worth the aggravation.

 

[Buckalew11]

I don't care what others do but I don't do it.

I have a lot of respect for my DH but if I didn't, I might "bash" him on here.

I've probably said something like DH has something against closing drawers all the way etc. over the years but that'd be within a thread and harmless.

 

[Buckalew11]

Many moons ago, we had just gotten a new car and I spilled a frozen Coke in the backseat after DH had just lectured me about being careful with that drink in the car. I cleaned it up and didn't tell him because I wasn't in the mood for hearing, "I told you to be careful with that drink!" sort of like, "I told you so!"

I wrote about it, and the next thing I knew, a bunch of posters were saying that I must be an abused wife to be that afraid of him. Geez, I posted the tale because I thought it was funny and ironic, but I was painted as a model client for Shelter Our Sisters.

So now I try to keep a lid on the husband humor. Not worth the aggravation.

And you're still married??!!

Yeah, that sounds like DH.

 

[JerseyJanice]

And you're still married??!!

Yeah, that sounds like DH.

Of course, I'm still married! I know I'm a brave woman to put up with a man who gets upset over me spilling soda in a new car, but I'm a tough Jersey girl. I can take it.

 

[Aisling]

I voted Yes it's ok. I was thinking none of you know us personally, and he never reads here, so what's the harm?

But then I started feeling that it is disrespectful. Maybe if I had a real problem and came for anonymous advice it would be ok, but to just say he's a bum, well even if he was a bum it doesn't feel right.

 

[figaromeetsmarie]

Really? Are you serious. That part of it was an obvious joke, with an underlying minor complaint. I'm sure your relationship is perfect though.

Yeah I am serious, and yes it is pretty darn close to perfect. I have been married for 26 years to my SO and we have complete respect for each other. Something you don't have.

 

[Aisling]

Just wanted to add, there's definitely a double standard here.

When a woman bashes her husband it's tolerated better than when a man bashed his wife.

 

[IdesOmarch]

Yeah I am serious, and yes it is pretty darn close to perfect. I have been married for 26 years to my SO and we have complete respect for each other. Something you don't have.

I'm sure its been a joyful goose pimply 26 years of no arguments and constant non-stop hot sex for you two.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You know over the yrs of reading posts on here, I would say that I don't blame some of the people for complaining about their spouses.

Esp. the ones who are sitting on the precipice of discovering that their SO is so not who they claim to be (loving, faithful, you get the picture).

There have been some doozies with people here on the DIS that just have to vent and have gotten some good help.

 

[BeefJerky]

Not really. It's between us.

 

[dislaney]

Bash - no. Venting- is fine.

 

[palmtreegirl]

If I have a problem with DH I talk to him, I don't vent on message boards or to friends or family.