Is it me or do people/families not eat dinner anymore?? VENT

[bumbershoot]

I could cook a meal for 30 people at any one time from just my pantry food- how many people can do that today? I bet your grandmothers and grandfathers could!

My grandparents didn't have enough money to have that much food just sitting there in their pantry. And I wouldn't WANT that much food. So no, I couldn't, but I don't want to. Seems like a big drain on one paycheck when it could be spread out as you need the food, personally.

No where in my post did I mention a traditional time or set hour for dinner.

But you did.

I find it sad that families do not eat together and it fustrates me the number of activities that schools/sports/churches plan at 6:00-6:30. What is the point of being a family/having a family if you can't spend time together?

What amazes me is the number of families that live by eating out almost EVERY night of the week. I am amazed that people can afford that!

You've basically said that with meetings etc between 6 and 6:30, people can't have dinner, and there's no point to have had the family.

My main point was not necessarily WHEN families eat, it is the fact they DON'T EAT at all.

As one poster said, many times my DD has friends over who haven't eaten all day or they come to their soccer games at 10:30 am and haven't even eaten b'fast. I feel bad for these kids.

But just like with the other poster, that's what you said. That this particular timeframe that people were calling (and telling you that they aren't eating (and why would they call you if they were eating?)) was what was bothering you. Obviously YOU are eating, so why are you picking up the phone? But also obviously, they've either already eaten or they are cooking food, or whatever.

You've made a statement "people don't eat together", but what you've used to back it up makes NO sense. Doesn't back it up. Backs up that you think people should eat in a certain timeframe, but doesn't back up the idea that the people you know aren't eating together.

As for all those kids who haven't had ANY food all day? They are either very poor (possible) or they are lying to get more food. I'm going with the latter. I have 3 younger brothers, I know a sob story when I hear one...

I find it amazing in our lunchroom the number of people and families who don't eat dinner or eat together at all.....All meeting seem to be starting at 6pm and go to 7:30 - soccer, church, associations...

I can't tell you the number of times I get phone calls between 6 and 7:30 with friends just wanting to chat and I say, "are you eating" and they say no.

That's what you said. It certainly does basically say that it's the time you're hearing about from people!




I dunno, Mom21, even though she's with you all day long, I don't think that time counts!

 

[hipchickie]

I think most families I know do eat together...quite honestly, I don't really know! It never occurred to me to ask

It is important to us, so we do it - it is a rarity that we don't. I have learned to embrace my crockpot, it is pretty darn handy with sports ending late!

Even on a good night though, it is generally around 7 when we eat dinner, and very often close to 8.

 

[Anne34]

In reply to the person who said kids go to soccer games at 10:30am without eating. My kids are probably one of those -- I try to get the to eat, but my DS15 doesn't like to eat before games and gets up too late to have time for the food to settle. He plays the entire game usually and doesn't have more than a water break. He will eat after the game. My DD13 just doesn't like to eat breakfast -- nothing I can do makes her eat. She will have a glass of juice or something that I force on her, but thats about it in the morning.

We don't often eat together in spring & fall. Between travel soceer, high school soccer & high school swim teams we just aren't home til 7:30 or later. usually have food in the crock pot or premade taco meat, etc. so that whoever gets home can make themselves some food.

My husband has never been home from work before 7:30pm or so. When the kids were little I would feed them at 6 or so and then he'd eat when he got home. We do go out every weekend together.

 

[luvmy3]

Me and the kids eat together every night, sometimes its as early as 5:30, sometimes it as late as 7:30. It is rare for dh to be home to eat dinner with us during the week. However that doesn't mean that we don't get quality family time everynight. Just because its not spent at the dining room table somewhere between 5-7 PM doesn't mean it doesn't happen at all. I think its odd that the first assumption about a family that doesn't have a meal all together is that they don't spend enough quality time together, maybe thats all the time you spend together and thats why. My family manages to spend alot more time together instead of only at dinnertime

 

[luvthemouse71]

Yes I notice it! We are one of the minority and eat together! My boys are teenagers and I fix breakfast for the 3 of us (hubby is at work) and we eat together. For dinner we eat together ....even during sports seasons we will eat early or late but there is at least one parent and child eating together. Like you I always cook and plan ahead so there is something good and fast to eat.

BUT there are the meetings that the coaches plan at 6 or 6:30 PM...the practices that go from 4-7PM or something. Even the school will have meetings (high school orientation, etc.) at 6 or 6:30PM.

I am amazed at the number of families that don't eat together...even those where parents don't work. My son had a friend eat with us last night and it was like he hadn't had a good, normal dinner for days. Also found it interesting that my son had an all day sport even (golf) and his two friends who spent the night and my son were ONLY ones who had a lunch (they left at 10AM and returned home at 5PM). Some nice mom packed lunches and drinks for all of of them. No one else did --- know kids are old enough to do themselves but must admit at 8:30 AM on a Saturday morning teenage boys are more interested in sleeping or eating the eggs and bacon that nice mom made for them than packing a lunch!!

And yes the phone does ring to during dinner with people "are you busy"... I see who caller ID says it is and let it ring. OR the new favorite is to ring a cowbell in the ear of the solicitation call. I can tell from caller ID (shows area code and then 000 and remaining 4 numbers) that is is "Rachel" from cardholder services telling me there is nothing wrong with my account but they can consolidate or reduce interest rate. I just need to push '1' to talk to someone. I will push '1' and then ring bell as loud as I can in their ear...oh well!

Enjoy dinner with your family!!!!

I agree with you. I think that's part of the reason for the childhood obesity epidemic- almost no one cooks real meals anymore. As a kid, going out to eat was a treat- usually for a Friday or Saturday night. We didn't eat McDonald's several times a week.

Sure, if both parents work- it's hard. But, if one of you stays home, no excuse to not cook. Eating together is a good thing for families. Oh, and i love the cowbell idea. I've also used an airhorn.

You're a brave soul though for making that observation- now, people are going to get all dfensive and accuse you of being judgemental. Don't let it get to you.

 

[sissy_ib]

I agree with you. I think that's part of the reason for the childhood obesity epidemic- almost no one cooks real meals anymore. As a kid, going out to eat was a treat- usually for a Friday or Saturday night. We didn't eat McDonald's several times a week.

Sure, if both parents work- it's hard. But, if one of you stays home, no excuse to not cook. Eating together is a good thing for families. Oh, and i love the cowbell idea. I've also used an airhorn.

Now I'm seriously disturbed. That's messed up! You do realize you could damage an innocent persons hearing for your sick amusement?

 

[luvmy3]

I agree with you. I think that's part of the reason for the childhood obesity epidemic- almost no one cooks real meals anymore. As a kid, going out to eat was a treat- usually for a Friday or Saturday night. We didn't eat McDonald's several times a week.

Sure, if both parents work- it's hard. But, if one of you stays home, no excuse to not cook. Eating together is a good thing for families. Oh, and i love the cowbell idea. I've also used an airhorn.

If you say so

 

[Kathi OD]

I find it amazing in our lunchroom the number of people and families who don't eat dinner or eat together at all. I work both FT and PT so I'm not home two days a week, but I fix dinner for my DD and DH otherwise it defeats the purpose of me working if they go out.

All meeting seem to be starting at 6pm and go to 7:30 - soccer, church, associations...

I can't tell you the number of times I get phone calls between 6 and 7:30 with friends just wanting to chat and I say, "are you eating" and they say no.

Maybe it's just me, but I find it very odd.

Anyone else notice this too?

I don't understand how, just because activities are scheduled during what you consider the dinner hour, you think that all these families are not eating dinner together.

What I don't understand is why you don't change your dinner hour to fit your schedule? You'd love my church's religious education program. It's been held from 6:30-8, on a Wednesday, for about 30 years.

If I called you between 6 and 7:30 and you asked if I were eating, my answer would be "of course not. If I were, I wouldn't have called you." From your post, you would have assumed that we don't eat dinner together as a family, but you would be wrong. On most nights we're finished before 6PM.

It's called flexibility.

 

[crazelion]

I do good cook meal every night. During the spring and summer the kids might get home until 10:00 pm. because I bring work with on my seasonal job. I try feed them before I get work. Some days it will fast food , leftovers, some be sandwiches.

We spend a lot time together as family. It hard for us eat between 5 - 7 during the fall and winter.

Now since change jobs last year and decent scedule we be eating dinner early before 5:00 p.m. before the game.

 

[crisi]

Sometimes we eat together, sometimes we don't. Sometimes my husband is at work until 7 or 8 pm and he doesn't make it home. Sometimes the kids have activities (and I don't have over scheduled kids). Sometimes I'm out of town. Sometimes my husband is. Sometimes I go out with friends. Sometimes he does. Sometimes one of the kids is out with friends. Sometimes we grab fast food - not often. Sometimes we go out to dinner (we can afford it - its the nice thing about having two demanding professional jobs - we can afford dinner out). Sometimes we eat in (tonight we had a roast with salad and potatoes).

We eat together when our schedules permit. But we don't allow mealtimes to be the be all and end all of family time. We do other things together as a family. Play games. Ride bikes. Go on vacation.

I haven't noticed people eating together less than when I was a kid - but then, I too was a busy kid with busy parents - in the late 1970s/early 80s.

I will tell you something I HAVE noticed. That there are many ways to raise a close family. That families that are close do not all do the same things. And that a close family is not the be all and end all in life for all people.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Maybe they eat before 6:00?

Does your DH not cook? On nights that I don't feel like cooking, my husband will cook dinner. If I didn't fix it, they wouldn't eat out (unless he was really tired, in which case he'd order a pizza).

 

[badblackpug]

Well, we don't eat out a lot, because my kids are always running. DH coaches 4 nights a week, and teaches one night a week, and we have at least 2 activities, up to 6, each night, so I serve dinner at a time when I have a majority home. Tonight was especially crazy, so I ordered pizza, but I'm still waiting for one to get home at 8:30, and one to get home at 9.

It all works out - it really does rotate as to who is not here. It's probably a bit easier with just one child.

This is what we do. My husband works days, I work nights. So there are some nights where there is only 1 parent. We do try to eat together as much as possible. I also do the majority of the cooking. Mostly because I like to cook, and because my husband is not a very good cook. He will cook, but it will "easy" stuff like burgers, or spaghetti, or chicken nuggets. On Saturdays we order take away or go out.

I am surprised at how nit-picky and nasty people were to the OP. I think the OP was merely commenting that family meals don't seem to be the norm anymore and was offering the fact that so many activities were scheduled during what was, traditionally, thought to be the "dinner hour" as evidence of that.

Maybe the OP hit a nerve?

 

[luvmythree]

I'm a single parent, working and going to school, and we never eat out. That said it never occurred to me to judge when/if families eat together, what time they eat or what/where they eat. My 3 kids and I eat dinner home every night but usually not all in the same room.

My 2 older kids don't see their dad but my youngest goes with him every Wed. night for visitation and then every other weekend. I feed them but my ex feeds my youngest. We still have dinner at home but at different hours.

As for the cowbell/air horn thing with telemarketers that's so juvenile!! I hate them calling me as much as the next person but honestly I can't imagine going to that extent. I use this cool invention called caller ID and if I don't know or recognize the caller I ignore it, let it go to voice mail and then delete it.

 

[azdizzymom]

OK I will try and word this nicely
My boys do things on their own. They do laundry, clear the table, clean the cat box, empty the garbage, help cook, make beds, clean rooms, do yard work, etc.
Anything else that you need to know that they do. They also help clean the house. I think they are well prepared for their future wives and will live nicely one their own.

We eat together and I do cook BUT MAJORITY OF THE STUFF THEY DO ON THEIR OWN! I didnt personally attack anyone just stated what we do as a family. Guess some people are a little jealous of a family that can spend time together. My boys do more things on their own than most of their friends do who don't eat with their families.

Sorry if the cow bell is rude but sounds like others do things like it also OR WON'T ADMIT IT! BTW this is to a company who I have asked NUMEROUS TIMES NOT TO CALL! We are on the do not call list. I have asked at least 10 times not to call, and sometimes I get 2-3 calls a day from them. Sure I can ignore BUT I can also ring a bell.

My boys are hard working boys. Get great grades in school, are on honor roll. Help out in everyway possible at our house at with neighbors. Want me to go on or will I get attacked then. I will defend my boys to the end and their wives will be lucky to have good men who will help around the house and do things equally. DO YOUR HUSBANDS HELP YOU AND DO YOUR KID DO THINGS?

Guess I can add...shovel snow, get homework done without asking, assist in helping with younger soccer and sports teams, etc etc. All the while being the typical teenagers who have the attitude, are mean to mom and sibling at time, etc. They are far from perfect and we are far from the perfect family. I do things for them, they do things for me. We all work as a family unit while they are polite, helpful,well rounded children. BUT we also argue and have behavioral issues. Now how many people admit this....I know so many people who say their kids and families are perfect (think of the XMAS letter you write or receive where everything is hunky dory and the bragging goes on about the perfect kids, perfect family and not one mention of the school suspension, calling mom or dad or sibling name, breaking curfew, etc). These are the parents who go to school and say their perfect kid didn't do anything wrong during fight...I am mom who goes and talks with kid to teacher about what they did wrong and what needs to be done to correct the problem on the third time they got kicked out of class for talking and being disruptive. Get the picture...we are not perfect and this attack on how I raise my family is rude. We are not perfect and I believe none of you have the perfect family. We all raise our kids and families differently. We eat together, I cook for them SO WHAT! Is that the worst thing in the world when my kids are self sufficient.NO WAY!

 

[phamy76]

My kids are 11 and 3.
I work full time (during the day) and my husband works nights (finally started working after 2 yrs of being unemployed).

The nights that he is off, he makes dinner so it's ready when I get home from work.
The nights he works, and I work during the day, he starts dinner, I finish it.
The nights he works and I am off during the day, I make dinner.

6 days a week we have dinner at the table.
2 nights out of those 6 we have something that starts at 6:30.
But, dinner might only last 10 minutes and we're out the door.
Those fast nights night be soup/grilled cheese, salad, etc.


Son has Boy Scouts and Art Classes. Daughter has gymnastics.
Sometimes we're running as soon as the plates are away.


But, we make a point of having a family dinner with as many that can attend, for as long as they can attend.

 

[mhsjax]

NOpe we don't. We did when the kids were younger, but it was just us without DH, usually he worked the night shift.

Now the kids are 14,12,and 10. They activities almost each night and they are at different times. No I don't sit down to eat with them when they are eating. I have things to do, they sit and watch TV, they are perfectly happy. And I just won't sit down at 3 separate times with them to eat.

Now when they don't have activities, we do eat together and the kids like it. But they understand that about 5 nights out of the week, that isn't going to happen, although I do cook most nights.

 

[coliebird]

we find a way to eat together 5-6 nights a week whether we have to do it earlier (due to practice) or late. We do have to eat the little one early, but then she still sits w/us as we eat later.

Ok, this just made me laugh. Do you cook her in the crock pot? LOL

 

[sam_gordon]

I'd like to point out a few things...

Even if the OP (and others who supported her) weren't being judgemental, that's how the posts read. (ie: You don't care about your family if you don't sit down to dinner together or eat out). Again, that's simply how it read.

Second, I'm glad schools schedule things at 6 or later. I work 30 minutes away from home and don't get off work until 6. If schools scheduled things between 4-6 (to fit the OPs dinner schedule, and what our schools generally do), I wouldn't make it to anything. Even if someone works in the same town 9-5, they might have a hard time getting to a school event by 6.

 

[mhsjax]

I don't think that many people feel this way about providing a nice meal and good conversation for their family. I had a mom who cooked great meals- most of which she learned from her grandfather, btw- so it is not just a chick thing! She taught me to cook. today people do not take the time to teach their kids how to cook so they are overwhelmed as adults to actually put a meal together. I could cook a meal for 30 people at any one time from just my pantry food- how many people can do that today? I bet your grandmothers and grandfathers could! They could make one chicken into 5 meals at least!

One chicken into 5 meals, Not with my son around. He eats at least a half one a one sitting.

BTW, I love cooking for my family, even though we usually don't eat together. It just won't work, with everyones schedule. I don't work out side the home, so I can cook during the day and have it ready. But out activities start within about an hour after they get home from school and go on until sometimes 8 at night. ALso most of my friends cook, lots of **** pot stuff, but still they cook.

As far as cooking for 30 people, my mom couldn't and you won't find a better cook than she is, she grew up on a farm. We don't have enough pantry space and neither did she what in the heck does cooking for 2030 have to do with anything? OH wait, I have cooked, on several occasions, for about 25 people during the holidays, does that count?

 

[azdizzymom]

I agree with you. I think that's part of the reason for the childhood obesity epidemic- almost no one cooks real meals anymore. As a kid, going out to eat was a treat- usually for a Friday or Saturday night. We didn't eat McDonald's several times a week.

Sure, if both parents work- it's hard. But, if one of you stays home, no excuse to not cook. Eating together is a good thing for families. Oh, and i love the cowbell idea. I've also used an airhorn.

You're a brave soul though for making that observation- now, people are going to get all dfensive and accuse you of being judgemental. Don't let it get to you.

THANKS!!!!! As I said we are far from normal...do eat junk food and have nights with no dinner, etc. BUT majority of nights eat together. Guess we are just weird....oh well would rather be weird and admit it than act all perfect like some do! LOVE THE AIRHORN!!!