Is it even possible?

[halestrm]

One of the things I did to help cope with my the death of my Grandfather and my brother was to ask everyone who knew them to write down a story related to the best memory they had of them. I still cry to this day when I read some of the stories. I don't know what helped most, knowing how many people loved them, knowing the stories I had never heard before, or having an "excuse" to lock myself in my room and focus on them in a positive way.

There is nothing to say that will make you feel better, but know that you are in many peoples thoughts.

 

[jenny2]

I'm so sorry for your loss Blondie

 

[Blondy876]

 

[Kitty 34]

to you Blondie.

 

[Cruise04]

I am so incredibly sorry Blondie. I remember feeling this when my mom died. I was so angry at some of her family members because they were so selfish. Selfish because they were ticked because they only had had 55 years with her. Why couldn't I have 55 years with her? Why!? That is a very hard question to answer when we lose a loved one. Why? Why do they have to go at the time they do. Why DO we have to go through the burial process (that was very hard for me to get over as well but not as emotional as your dads it sounds - how very touching of a ceremony). Why DO we have to listen to music that we will hear through our lifetimes again that now is forever changed in our minds and hearts. It just doesn't make much sense.

But eventually some of these questions will be answered. Sounds like your dad was an awesome man. I hope you and your mom and family find some peace. It will take time and make sure and let it take its time. Don't let anyone tell you that your time of mourning is over - it will be over when you are ready for it to be - 1 year from now, 10 years from now, 50 years from now. I don't think it will ever be over, just easier.

 

[gradtchr]

I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers.

 

[Danvers]

 

[Saffron]

Kathy

{{{Hugs}}}

I imagine it doesn't feel possible.

 

[Sparx]

We've all been to too many funerals. We've all lost so much that it feels like we are dying too. We've all been where you are now. We all know that hollow empty feeling that you feel. We've all cried tears over loved ones that died too young or too soon or too painfully. we've all wished that they were back in our arms, just one last time. We are all here for you kathy. We are all sorry that you are having to go through this. This is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. This is one of the most painful things that can ever happen to a person. I'm so sorry.

Is that him in your signature?

 

[faith]

Blondie, your post brought tears to my eyes. Your words really convey how much you love your Father. I lost my Dad 10 years ago, and still miss him terribly. Deepest sympathies to you and your family.

 

[dmslush]

Blondie, I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[KIRSTIN'S MOMMY]

I'm so sorry.

 

[Hollyann]

Blondie -

Your post was both heart-wrenching and heart-warming. What a beautiful relationship you and your father had - our thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[Serena]

 

[tiggersmom2]

I'm so, so sorry Blondie. I wish there was something I could do to make the pain more bearable. I know how much you loved your Dad....I just said a prayer for you to get you through this hard, hard time.

 

[Mercy]

The true measure of a person is the love they leave behind, and your father's legacy will live on in the lives of his children, his grandchildren, and his great-grandchildren.

Blondie, I'm so sorry for your loss, but what Deb said is so true. I lost my FIL in '97, my dad in '99 and my mom last year. But we talk about them all the time and remember the good times, the funny times, even the bad times. Time does heal the heart. Hugs and blessings to you and your family.

Just a side note, a good friend of ours just lost their mother. She donated her body to science (very typical of her), but when she died in the hospital, that was it. Her family never saw her again. They had a funeral, but there was no casket or body. As strange as I think the whole funeral thing is with a body in the casket, there is a real healing and closure that takes place during that time.

 

[rhanditresmom]

Blondie..

I, too, lost my daddy this year. He died on my sister's birthday. He was an Army fellow...the burial was so moving, yet so hard. I just bawled as the military representatives stood at attention and saluted us. I lost it when the Army officer handed the flag to my mother. It is so hard to lose someone so dear and so close. I loved him so much. I know how hard this is for you. My dad was only 67. I am so glad he was my dad and it was such an honor to be his daughter. It gets a little easier...I see him in my children's eyes...they are both musicians, just like he was . I'll pray for you.

oh, yeah...it is ok to cry for him.

 

[CookieGVB]

I'm so sorry. I can still remember certain moments from my father's funeral.

The tears - when we first went into the funeral home and saw him; watching my sons act as two of the pallbearers (they were 11 & 12 at the time), and handle it with the same dignity and respect as any of the adults there (I've never been prouder of them, and of course I was a mess).

The smiles - when the funeral home played "When You Wish Upon a Star" - my sons and I had to smile; looking at all of the pictures and the happy memories we had.

Hold onto the smiles, and in time, the tears will fade.

 

[4nana]

Your touching tribute thread to your Dad is beautiful and really hits home.
I feel your pain and my heart truly goes out to you. Watching a loving parent's health fail and to let go, is one of God's greatest test. Somehow, by the grace of God, our faith helps us face each new day and their memories continue to ease our pain and warm our heart. God bless you, your Mom and all your family. My prayers remain with you thru this difficult time {{hugs}}.

 

[Blondie]

Is that him in your signature?

Yes, it was taken on my wedding day 25 years ago.

Thank you all for your thoughtful and kind words. I had to go back to work this afternoon for the first time since he passed. It was harder than I thought it would be.