Is i a crime to wear sweatpants to school?

[Pea-n-Me]

That sums it up! Middle school girls can be so nasty!

Bottom line is that it seems this other girl has a rudeness problem. That's a much bigger issue than the wearing of sweat pants.

Agree. My DD15 had something similar happen in MS, but she was told her outfit "didn't match". While it was quite possibly true, it didn't mean that thought had to be verbalized - loudly, on the bus, in front of others, in a way that embarrassed/humiliated, etc. That's just rude. If someone wanted to do it in a helpful way, it would be different. Typical middle school, however. DD couldn't be more happy she's done with that.

DD says in high school everyone's outfits run the gamut and nobody really cares what anyone else is wearing.

As for sweats, my DD doesn't really wear them, but will sometimes wear nice yoga or running pants as part of a decent looking outfit, generally with clean sneakers and a hoodie, etc. (hair brushed or up, body clean and fresh-smelling and teeth flossed and brushed too ). It's comfortable, and I'd rather have her comfortable and able to concentrate on schoolwork than uncomfortable and distracted because of it. Same with DS15, who will occassionally wear nicer sweat pants (oxymoron, maybe lol) and most definitely nylon pants (no jeans, and khakies only when forced to. Today went to school in a tee, shorts and a sweatshirt, actually, despite a near Noreaster outside). I care more that he's comfortable and doing well than anything else, same as DD. But his style of dress is the same as his friends', typical for his school.

That's because you weren't a teenage GIRL.

My thought as well. Come on FireDancer, there's no way you think as most MS girls do.

 

[castleview]

I keep hearing that but all that tells me is that girls are unable to think for themselves or do what they want without consulting the herd. I find that sad and an indication of weakness. I think the same thing when I hear how girls are overly effected by the media. Think for yourself. I didn't let the television or celebrities effect my self-esteem or self-image one tiny bit as a kid, tween, or teen and that shouldn't be different just because of your gender.



See, it appears women (or girls) are capable of thinking for themselves.

Did you catch the part where she said it was her SON? When you have a daughter, you let me know there isn't a difference. Either way, I'm teaching to blow the comments off. And to whomever wondered if a teacher would give a recommendation to a student wearing sweats, I could tell you my husband writes tons of recommendations every year and what the kids wear is never an issue. Most of the kids have worn sweats at least once during high school.

Pajamas, I get though. That's pushing it.

 

[MIGrandma]

Nope, not a crime at all. I just don't understand why people feel the need to turn up their noses at what other people wear. If someone doesn't want to wear sweatpants to school, fine and dandy for them. But leave others alone if they choose and want to wear them. As the old saying goes "clothes don't make the man."

 

[angelbear425]

Here is my 2c..

Pajamas are never appropriate in public. That looks sloppy and trashy. Sweatpants are fine if they are nice sweatpants (Abercrombie, American eagle, Aerie, Hollister, etc), not the Hanes ones. Yoga pants are also fine.

For myself, I remember wearing them for elem school for gym days only. MS would wear Adidas track pants sometimes, but I always felt that they looked bad so I wouldn't wear the, too often. I went to a HS with a uniform so I never wore sweats then, not even gym days because we had gym uniforms as well. I wore sweats in college all the time for undergrad, but never pajamas. For grad school every once in a while I will wear togas, but not very often. I find it just as easy to put jeans on than sweats and they are just as comfortable.

I will say that I once wore a pair of jeans to school and my friends made fun of them so I never wore them again. MS girls are blunt and mean, often without realizing it.

 

[shortbun]

I think it depends on the sweat pants. If they're cute, nicely constructed, clean and they fit her well instead of hanging on her...might be ok to wear them once in a while. Wearing sweatpants a couple times a week, for a girl or really any hip high school student, is kind of lazy. Girls here wear them once in a while but those are usually game days for them and sweats with team logos and names on them. Most of our high school girls make an attempt to look nice everyday. I live near the school and see them walking home. Also, when I was a bus driver, the girls always wanted to look good. Boys wore jeans or shorts-rarely sweats, occassionally basketball warmups or pull aways. Thin sweats-also known as pajamas are outlawed here. I think you need to take your daughter shopping for some nicer pants; I assume pants would be her choice since she wears sweats twice a week. I'm guessing her friend was trying to talk her into dressing less shabbily.

 

[nmmom95]

Just asking because I don't see anything wrong with it (not that I'm a great dresser), but DD13 was devastated when a friend told her she looked like a bum for wearing sweats last week. She does wear them once or twice a week - she's an athlete. But she isn't confined to sweats. I went through the whole "don't let them get you down" stuff with her. But it did get me wondering if people have issues with sweats at school.

Not at all. DS14 goes to a school with a very strict dress code. Only blue or gray dress pants, blue or white solid dress shirt, tie, navy blazer, shined shoes, etc. They do inspections periodically and even check for dress socks. That said, on dress down days, it is a sea of sweatpants and t-shirts.

 

[design_mom]

I don't think it's a crime to wear sweatpants to school, and the other girl was rude for verbally judging your daughters outfit.

However my son (first year of middle school, public school) has noticed that kids "dress up" a little more for middle school than they did for elementary, so maybe the same is true for your DD's school too.

At the elementary school, the boys lived in basketball shorts and track pants. In middle school, DS prefers woven pants and shorts (khakis, etc.). Apparently there's no quicker way to announce "I'm just a 6th grader" than to show up in basketball shorts. I don't think anyone has said anything, he's just noticed that the unofficial uniform is different. Funny thing is that the boys were very brand-conscious with their basketball shorts and track pants (Nike, please!) but don't seem to care about brand names on the khakis. Suits me!

 

[FireDancer]

When you have a daughter, you let me know there isn't a difference. .

I would raise a daughter the exact same way I would raise a son and the exact same way my parents raised me. Self-esteem and being confident comes from you and only you. Peer pressure is for the small minded. Be your own person and don't think what other people think just because it is popular.

I had that drilled into me since I was old enough to remember it and I plan on doing the same. Self-confidence isn't some accident of nature, it is taught. I am always amazed at how many people of any age allow others to influence them so much. That is true of peer-pressure, advertising, and everything else along those lines. I don't find that concept alien at all, in fact I find it alien to allow those things to influence you whether you are young, old, or in between.

ETA: And don't mistake having self confidence with being perfect which I'm sure is the next accusation. I didn't do my homework sometimes, struck out in a baseball game, bombed the occasional test I didn't prepare for, and many other things that make me imperfect. What I didn't do is look at the people on the television and decide to use them as a role model for my life or decide the shirt I wanted to wear is no longer acceptable because a friend "devastated" me by disproving of it. I never was a self-doubt kind of kid and I surely am not a self-doubt kind of adult.

Blowing off the ability of girls to think for themselves and imply that only boys can be so self-confident is just demeaning to girls and I most often see it coming from women who should know better. I would never in a million years say boys are not smart enough to make their own decisions without worrying about what every other boy would say. I would be ashamed to even think such a thing.

 

[castleview]

I think it depends on the sweat pants. If they're cute, nicely constructed, clean and they fit her well instead of hanging on her...might be ok to wear them once in a while. Wearing sweatpants a couple times a week, for a girl or really any hip high school student, is kind of lazy. Girls here wear them once in a while but those are usually game days for them and sweats with team logos and names on them. Most of our high school girls make an attempt to look nice everyday. I live near the school and see them walking home. Also, when I was a bus driver, the girls always wanted to look good. Boys wore jeans or shorts-rarely sweats, occassionally basketball warmups or pull aways. Thin sweats-also known as pajamas are outlawed here. I think you need to take your daughter shopping for some nicer pants; I assume pants would be her choice since she wears sweats twice a week. I'm guessing her friend was trying to talk her into dressing less shabbily.

DD has plenty of nice pants…this drama actually started because she didn't have the color boots she "needed". Anyway, she either wears her team pants, a cute pair of college sweat or yoga pants. It's probably closer to once a week. But she's decked out in a skirt twice a week (game day wear), has plenty of jeans and just like to kick back on other days.

Maybe it's just because I had the same people in my school through middle and high school that seeing those same student everyday made me more relaxed as I had no need or desire to impress them by the time I was a high school senior. Then again, I grew up in a mill town where middle school fashion was work boots and a denim jacket.

 

[castleview]

I would raise a daughter the exact same way I would raise a son and the exact same way my parents raised me. Self-esteem and being confident comes from you and only you. Peer pressure is for the small minded. Be your own person and don't think what other people think just because it is popular.

I had that drilled into me since I was old enough to remember it and I plan on doing the same. Self-confidence isn't some accident of nature, it is taught. I am always amazed at how many people of any age allow others to influence them so much. That is true of peer-pressure, advertising, and everything else along those lines.

OMG. I usually agree with so much of what you say, but I feel like you need such a lesson here. My kid is a happy (albeit irritable) straight A student, plays two sports a season, does drama club and art class, has plenty of friends, loves to read and be fashionable, and has good instincts on who to stay away from. Even with all of that, she is typical middle school girl who can be insecure about her looks. It is a phase all girls go through and get through. She doesn't have time to be influenced by TV shows and those she watches, we talk about the lack of reality (most important: conflict doesn't get brought up resolved in 22 minutes).

I raise my daughters similarly to the way I raise my son as much as I can. But there is a difference between the two. The big one here lately is that I tell the girls to stop being drama queens, while I tell my son to stop being a jack(you know).

 

[pixiewings71]

Well my DD's both have sweats for PE but otherwise they don't wear them at school, they do wear them on weekends at home. I don't care about sweats being worn at school or anywhere outside the house but it makes me crazy when I see people in PJ's. PJ's are for bedtime, not for wearing while you go to school, or work, or shop. I have worn PJ's all day but usually when I'm sick and I'm not going anywhere, just sitting on the couch at home. lol

 

[NHdisneylover]

No it is not a crime, nor is it nice for the friend to point it out in a mean way.

Then again, I agree with those who way it looks sloppy and not very respectful of school.

I asked my two teens (who I let wear pretty much whatever they want and whose schools have no dress code at all) and both said they would not wear sweats to school. DD15 says "you might as well be in PJs then" and DS13 (my fashion king) just says that is about as unfashionable as it gets. It might be a Germany thing though (they have been here 4 years now)

 

[nmmom95]

I would raise a daughter the exact same way I would raise a son and the exact same way my parents raised me. Self-esteem and being confident comes from you and only you. Peer pressure is for the small minded. Be your own person and don't think what other people think just because it is popular.

I had that drilled into me since I was old enough to remember it and I plan on doing the same. Self-confidence isn't some accident of nature, it is taught. I am always amazed at how many people of any age allow others to influence them so much. That is true of peer-pressure, advertising, and everything else along those lines. I don't find that concept alien at all, in fact I find it alien to allow those things to influence you whether you are young, old, or in between.

ETA: And don't mistake having self confidence with being perfect which I'm sure is the next accusation. I didn't do my homework sometimes, struck out in a baseball game, bombed the occasional test I didn't prepare for, and many other things that make me imperfect. What I didn't do is look at the people on the television and decide to use them as a role model for my life or decide the shirt I wanted to wear is no longer acceptable because a friend "devastated" me by disproving of it. I never was a self-doubt kind of kid and I surely am not a self-doubt kind of adult.

Blowing off the ability of girls to think for themselves and imply that only boys can be so self-confident is just demeaning to girls and I most often see it coming from women who should know better. I would never in a million years say boys are not smart enough to make their own decisions without worrying about what every other boy would say. I would be ashamed to even think such a thing.

It sounds great in theory, but it really isn't that easy. Trust me, I thought I knew everything about raising kids once. Then I had some.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Firedancer--here is the thing; kids have personalities. As a parent you have a lot of influence over them, but some things are just a part of who they are just like their skin and eye color is. As a parent, you can go a long way towards helping their personalities blossom in the best, most self confident, most responsible ways possible, but you CANNOT totally control it--or predict it.

You probably would have had the confidence you do even if your parents tried to pressure you into giving in to peer pressure--it seems like a pretty innate part of you. Then again, some kids will struggle with confidence and need a parent who supports them when they are hurt--not dismisses their feelings as weak or wrong--in order to eventually improve their feelings of self worth.

Parents who cannot see their children as INDIVIDUALS who have their own set of needs, different from everyone else's, and most especially different from the parent themselves, are generally some of the worst parents out there.

If you cannot look at people and see them for who THEY are, instead of who you think they should be; then you really cannot be helpful to them in any way.

 

[nmmom95]

Firedancer--here is the thing; kids have personalities. As a parent you have a lot of influence over them, but some things are just a part of who they are just like their skin and eye color is. As a parent, you can go a long way towards helping their personalities blossom in the best, most self confident, most responsible ways possible, but you CANNOT totally control it--or predict it.

You probably would have had the confidence you do even if your parents tried to pressure you into giving in to peer pressure--it seems like a pretty innate part of you. Then again, some kids will struggle with confidence and need a parent who supports them when they are hurt--not dismisses their feelings as weak or wrong--in order to eventually improve their feelings of self worth.

Parents who cannot see their children as INDIVIDUALS who have their own set of needs, different from everyone else's, and most especially different from the parent themselves, are generally some of the worst parents out there.

If you cannot look at people and see them for who THEY are, instead of who you think they should be; then you really cannot be helpful to them in any way.

This is a really great post.

 

[DopeyDame]

Firedancer--here is the thing; kids have personalities. As a parent you have a lot of influence over them, but some things are just a part of who they are just like their skin and eye color is. As a parent, you can go a long way towards helping their personalities blossom in the best, most self confident, most responsible ways possible, but you CANNOT totally control it--or predict it.

You probably would have had the confidence you do even if your parents tried to pressure you into giving in to peer pressure--it seems like a pretty innate part of you. Then again, some kids will struggle with confidence and need a parent who supports them when they are hurt--not dismisses their feelings as weak or wrong--in order to eventually improve their feelings of self worth.

Parents who cannot see their children as INDIVIDUALS who have their own set of needs, different from everyone else's, and most especially different from the parent themselves, are generally some of the worst parents out there.

If you cannot look at people and see them for who THEY are, instead of who you think they should be; then you really cannot be helpful to them in any way.

This is one of the best, most accurate parenting posts I've seen on the dis.

 

[momof1princess]

OP, personally, i wouldn't have an issue with DD15, or any other teenager, wearing sweatpants to school. however, children, regardless of age, are not allowed to wear sweatpants in our school district. from what i understand, there were issues with kids sneaking up behind other kids and yanking their sweatpants down. parents complained, and sweatpants were subsequently placed on the forbidden clothing list. as usual, a few knuckleheads ruin something for everyone.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

Normally I never really wear swears around the house but I pulled out a pair the other day since it is chilly and my dd called them my waste your life away pants She has worn them a few times to school so I don't know if they is what they called them to her. I know sometimes the middle school sports teams will all get together and wear swats and jerseys to school on a certain day.

My one twin who is in 5th grade that is all he will wear is sweatpants/tracks pants to school. Wish I could get him to wear jeans more. Funny thing is is twin went thought this two years ago and now they switched roles and they other will only wear jeans.

Kids. I say wear what she wants and just say well thank you very much for that nice compliment.

 

[MoonFaerie]

My DD wears athletic pants (or shorts) to school 3 days a week. They don't get to change for PE, so it's not like we have a lot of options. Either she wears gym appropriate clothes all day, or she fails PE. She'd rather be dressed up and change for gym, but that's not an option.

 

[NHdisneylover]

This is a really great post.

This is one of the best, most accurate parenting posts I've seen on the dis.

You are both sweet. Thanks. It is pretty much just common sense to 90% of parents out there (and a fair number of non parents who spend time with people and other's children and really pay attention), don't you think?



You know,one of the greatest joys in my life is watching my kids become their own people and seeing their personalities bloom into the unique beings they are. I am not particularly special or interesting--certainly not enough to try to make others into little mini-me's. I really have never understood why anyone, even a non parent, would ever think that is how it should be