Goofyluver
<marquee behavior=alternate><font color=red>Knock
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2006
- Messages
- 19,055
When I last left you eons and eons ago (yall missed me
right???)
Jon, Lexie, the motha, myself, and Philameana were leaving Epcot.
I had dragged the motha around the World Showcase in record time so as not to disturb the patrons of the park on this day. Trust Jen. You do not need to see me carryin this monkey on my back. Picture Hulk only shorter, with longer hair and with way more strength. I know youve been there ladies.
Once we got back to SSR, Lexie wanted to take advantage of the chlorinated ocean (THINKPrincessV) The Paddock Pool or PP as I will affectionately refer to it from now on. I chose to remain in our air conditioned room so as to cool my jets and to try to will myself to be cheery.
I dont meditate per se I more encourage others through mind-control to leave me the heck alone. I am the all-powerful Jenobi Wan Holymoly.
Lexie only swum in PP for a few moments though and we decided to jet on over to DTD for some din-din.
This time we bussed over to the West Side.
West Siiiiide.
The motha wanted to endulge herself in some Puck once again. What the Puck does to draw the Jewish motha to the pork Ill never know.
We headed over to Wolfgang Puck Café.
Its fancy schmancier than Wolfgang Puck Express but not TOO fancy schmancy that we woulda looked outta place like some redneck at a Cher concert.
I know I had some ribs pork ribs that is BBQ gold. And guess who else partook in some ribs?
Anyone? Anyone?
Yup the motha.
I guess these particular ribs were Kosher on this day.
She didnt appreciate all of my oinks and threats of trichinosis. I told her she was definitely damned to Jewish purgatory. Definitely definitely definitely
I know none of us finished our meals and made it outta there lickety split so that I could sleep off the rage.
We decided to boat back over to the SSR.
Looky here. Its the pork eater.
And little ol Jon enjoyin him some ocean breeze or sumpin
I told the motha that this one comes alive at night and eats Jews who pretend to be Kosher wrapped in bacon of course.
What I did not realize is that we had hopped on the wrong boat. We had hopped on the inter-DTD ferry boat meaning that we were dropped off over in the Marketplace. And we had to debark the boat before bustling onto the better boat (alliteration anyone?) which was heading to SSR. Apparently, if you read the signs, you will learn this
BUT I took some beautimus pics of SSR and the grounds as we approached
NOT seven swans a swimming
Gawgeous!!
We decided to hoof it back to the room as the motha had found her way around the resort on this very morning when she actually went to the gym at WDW.
On the way we met some friends
For a second I thought they were cute and then I remembered the quack-by duck goosing on this very morning.
We walked onward into the abyss that is SSR snapping photos all the way
This is the bridge across the lake at SSR notice the motha carrying the left-over pork
Gawgeous!
The motha passed the pork along
We got back to the room and the chilluns wanted to visit the PP again. Well, Lexie did Jon threw back his nose and pronounced himself too cool to swim in PP.
I felt like lounging by the pool and thought this would be a great opportunity to do some laundry.
So, I loaded us up with our dirty duds and we were off to PP.
For your info the laundry facilities next to the pools on property are FREE. Thats right. FREE. Its almost like stealing cable only better not that I would know
I settled down for a lounge while Lexie got her PP on and while the clothes were spinning away for FREE!
And thats when my son started in on me
You know how they do it
Lets get this clear. Jon hates the water. Hates it. Hed rather eat hot coals than get in a pool. And if you are lucky enough to force him into the chlorinated ocean he gets a death grip on the side of the pool like a baby monkey on her mommas back. And he chose yes CHOSE not to partake in the night-time swimming festivities in the PP.
So, Im chillaxin and he comes up to me after watching Lexie have a good ol time and he wants me to take him ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE ROOM TO GET HIS SWIMSUIT.
Me: Ummmm nope.
Jon: Whyyyyyyy?
Me: Because you chose not to swim. And Im not getting up to go get your swimsuit for you because you made your choice.
And then he starts with the pleases and all that whiny jazz. And it was getting loud and I was getting embarrassed.
So, what did I do?
I did what any good mother would do.
I grabbed him up good and close and hisspered in my best hissper
There are people watching. And if you cant pretend to act like a human being in front of these folks then Im liable not to act like a human being. Catch what Im puttin down partner?
Oh he smelled what I was steppin in all right.
He sat calmly for a few minutes and I felt sorry for him...so I said the magic words
Go jump in if you wanna.
He looked at me like I had lost my mind.
I was actually giving him permission to wet up some perfectly good Gymboree. And momma dont mess around with her Gymboree.
It took him half a sec before he jumped in that pool with all his clothes on.
And Im the cool mom like that.
While the kids were enjoying themselves and while the laundry was spinning dry the motha and I sat quietly.
And thats when I heard it.
This is the life.
Hmmmmmm? My ears perked up.
THIS is the life.
Hmmmmmm? My hair stood on end.
THIS is THE life!!!!!
I turned to my momma and I slapped her hard.
OK no I didnt. But, I wanted to.
She was enjoying herself.
And my momma dont enjoy nothin cept protein powder and a sweaty work-out.
I folded laundry on cloud-nine that night. We all showered and went to bed by 10 or so. Phillameana never did rear her ugly head again. After all who could be happier since:
THIS WAS THE LIFE!
Up Next: The Second Coming or Ducking
I had dragged the motha around the World Showcase in record time so as not to disturb the patrons of the park on this day. Trust Jen. You do not need to see me carryin this monkey on my back. Picture Hulk only shorter, with longer hair and with way more strength. I know youve been there ladies.

Once we got back to SSR, Lexie wanted to take advantage of the chlorinated ocean (THINKPrincessV) The Paddock Pool or PP as I will affectionately refer to it from now on. I chose to remain in our air conditioned room so as to cool my jets and to try to will myself to be cheery.
I dont meditate per se I more encourage others through mind-control to leave me the heck alone. I am the all-powerful Jenobi Wan Holymoly.
Lexie only swum in PP for a few moments though and we decided to jet on over to DTD for some din-din.
This time we bussed over to the West Side.
West Siiiiide.
The motha wanted to endulge herself in some Puck once again. What the Puck does to draw the Jewish motha to the pork Ill never know.
We headed over to Wolfgang Puck Café.
Its fancy schmancier than Wolfgang Puck Express but not TOO fancy schmancy that we woulda looked outta place like some redneck at a Cher concert.
I know I had some ribs pork ribs that is BBQ gold. And guess who else partook in some ribs?
Anyone? Anyone?
Yup the motha.

I guess these particular ribs were Kosher on this day.
She didnt appreciate all of my oinks and threats of trichinosis. I told her she was definitely damned to Jewish purgatory. Definitely definitely definitely
I know none of us finished our meals and made it outta there lickety split so that I could sleep off the rage.
We decided to boat back over to the SSR.
Looky here. Its the pork eater.

And little ol Jon enjoyin him some ocean breeze or sumpin

I told the motha that this one comes alive at night and eats Jews who pretend to be Kosher wrapped in bacon of course.

What I did not realize is that we had hopped on the wrong boat. We had hopped on the inter-DTD ferry boat meaning that we were dropped off over in the Marketplace. And we had to debark the boat before bustling onto the better boat (alliteration anyone?) which was heading to SSR. Apparently, if you read the signs, you will learn this

BUT I took some beautimus pics of SSR and the grounds as we approached
NOT seven swans a swimming

Gawgeous!!





We decided to hoof it back to the room as the motha had found her way around the resort on this very morning when she actually went to the gym at WDW.
On the way we met some friends

For a second I thought they were cute and then I remembered the quack-by duck goosing on this very morning.
We walked onward into the abyss that is SSR snapping photos all the way

This is the bridge across the lake at SSR notice the motha carrying the left-over pork

Gawgeous!


The motha passed the pork along

We got back to the room and the chilluns wanted to visit the PP again. Well, Lexie did Jon threw back his nose and pronounced himself too cool to swim in PP.
I felt like lounging by the pool and thought this would be a great opportunity to do some laundry.
So, I loaded us up with our dirty duds and we were off to PP.
For your info the laundry facilities next to the pools on property are FREE. Thats right. FREE. Its almost like stealing cable only better not that I would know
I settled down for a lounge while Lexie got her PP on and while the clothes were spinning away for FREE!

And thats when my son started in on me
You know how they do it
Lets get this clear. Jon hates the water. Hates it. Hed rather eat hot coals than get in a pool. And if you are lucky enough to force him into the chlorinated ocean he gets a death grip on the side of the pool like a baby monkey on her mommas back. And he chose yes CHOSE not to partake in the night-time swimming festivities in the PP.
So, Im chillaxin and he comes up to me after watching Lexie have a good ol time and he wants me to take him ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE ROOM TO GET HIS SWIMSUIT.
Me: Ummmm nope.
Jon: Whyyyyyyy?
Me: Because you chose not to swim. And Im not getting up to go get your swimsuit for you because you made your choice.
And then he starts with the pleases and all that whiny jazz. And it was getting loud and I was getting embarrassed.
So, what did I do?
I did what any good mother would do.
I grabbed him up good and close and hisspered in my best hissper
There are people watching. And if you cant pretend to act like a human being in front of these folks then Im liable not to act like a human being. Catch what Im puttin down partner?
Oh he smelled what I was steppin in all right.
He sat calmly for a few minutes and I felt sorry for him...so I said the magic words
Go jump in if you wanna.
He looked at me like I had lost my mind.
I was actually giving him permission to wet up some perfectly good Gymboree. And momma dont mess around with her Gymboree.
It took him half a sec before he jumped in that pool with all his clothes on.
And Im the cool mom like that.
While the kids were enjoying themselves and while the laundry was spinning dry the motha and I sat quietly.
And thats when I heard it.
This is the life.
Hmmmmmm? My ears perked up.
THIS is the life.
Hmmmmmm? My hair stood on end.
THIS is THE life!!!!!
I turned to my momma and I slapped her hard.
OK no I didnt. But, I wanted to.
She was enjoying herself.
And my momma dont enjoy nothin cept protein powder and a sweaty work-out.
I folded laundry on cloud-nine that night. We all showered and went to bed by 10 or so. Phillameana never did rear her ugly head again. After all who could be happier since:
THIS WAS THE LIFE!
Up Next: The Second Coming or Ducking