Wednesday, May 28th…
The motha had made me set the alarm for 7:00 in the AM on this day. So she could drag her crazy booty outta bed and go work-out. Before Epcot. Before the heat. Before our long day.
The phone rang and I reached over with a large groan…picked up the receiver and slammed it back down. Something was foreboding…I didn’t need happy voices on this morning.
The motha of course…slept through her own wakey call. I threw back the covers, walked over to her “good and cushy bed”, and nudged her and she woke not. I nudged her again and she woke not. Hmmmmm…her wake-up call for her obsessive exercising…and I’m the only one up? This ain’t fair!
“Mom,” I whispered next to her ear…”Carbs!”
She bolted upright and jumped outta bed. I know my motha too well.
I snickered as I watched her get ready for her work-out. How obsessive do you have to be to work-out BEFORE walking 10,000 miles, in the parks, in the 140 degree heat? Whatever keeps her voices quiet works for me!
I rolled back over and went back to sleep. And I didn’t feel guilty one bit for burning calories lying down neither. Hmmmmph....
I did get up around 8:00 and got myself ready. But the chilluns’ were not stirring. Not even a bit.
Hmmmm…since talk o’ carbs didn’t affect them like it do pirate gramma…what could I do to rouse the troops?
I was gonna yell
“Fiiiiirrrreeee!” but decided against it as I was afraid Mr. Stinks-a-lot from next door and one of his wives may have come blasting outta their room nekkid or sumthin equally as awful!
So, I did the next best thing…
I turned on (sorry Disney Channel) Doodle Bops…and blared it loud. Heh heh. Momma knows how to wake the sleeping lumps. Every time they protested…I kicked it up another notch. Until me and the weird 4-fingered band kids were rockin’ out hard core. Lexie and Jon finally stirred.
I grabbed the kidlets breakfast just as the motha came back from her carb attack work-out fest. She thoroughly enjoyed the gym…she gave it a gold star…or a 4-grade black spandex…whatever scale she rates gyms on these days.
I got the kids dressed and ready while the motha hosed herself off. Just as we were about to leave…I had a visitor knocking loudly on my door…
I didn’t want to answer this door though. As I knew who it was. It was my dear friend Phillameana M. Snipey…otherwise known as P.M.S. Today…would be a wonderful day. I could feel my fangs growing longer by the minute. Yay for me…and anyone who got in my way.
We were out to the buses by about 9:45…and by we, I mean, me, Jon, the motha, Lexie, and Phillameana. We got to Epcot at about 10:15. Not too bad for a sleepin’ in morning. Not in my book anyways!
We headed straight for Nemo…one of Jon’s favs…
Notice how happy the chilluns’ look after I blasted them awake this fine morning. Heh heh.
Just for your own knowledge…my face probably looked the same.
I tried threatening them with repeated rides on Figment…but that still didn’t make them smile.
I found out when our trip was over that my motha was taking pictures on Nemo. I couldn’t believe that they actually turned out?!?!? Are you supposed to take pics on Nemo????
Whoa…momma musta been drunk when she took that Crush pic. I’m JK people…the motha doesn’t drink. She’s far too uptight for that!
From Nemo we headed straight to Turtle Talk. I knew Lexie would loooove this show.
But dang kids. Quit the pushin’ and shovin’ to get into the show! It ain’t that important okay?
The show, was of course, cute as can be. EXCEPT…the jokes were the same. From a year ago. Let’s flip the script people. Please. There are Disney fanatics that return year after year…and we need some new material. Momma needs a new pair o’ shoes…k?
After TT, we decided to explore the magic of The Seas. We have never looked around here before. (ducking while you throw rotten fish) I know…I know…I had no idea. That anything even existed. Beyond all of the animated sea creatures.
We walked around and caught some good pics of neat fish (there is no such thing as fishes), coral, and even a dolphin!
Let’s all oooooh and ahhhhh over the sea life kids. Don’t pollute the oceans. Seriously.
Was that a little bit of a letdown? I guess I only loaded 3 of those pictures. Heh heh.
After we walked through the aquariums…I walked us around to a group of people standing looking over something. I couldn’t tell what everyone was staring at. Hey…I admit it…I’m a sheep.
We happened upon a little manatee pool. And when I say LITTLE…I mean freakin’ little. Pool little manatee.
BUT…we walked up at just the right time.
CM: “Hey kids…would you like to feed the manatees??”
Lexie and Jon: “Sure manatee man!”
Which basically meant…Jon and Lexie got to hurl lettuce at the poor little manatee in his little bitty pool. Good times…good times.
After feeding Mr. Manatee, the chilluns, the mother, myself, and Phillameana schlepped over to The Land.
Jon and I headed straight for Soarin’! Lexie was too little for this ride…BOOOOOOO! But, I needed some wind in my hair…to get the meanies out!
Jon and I scored row 1…for the 2nd year in a row! Yea baybee!
We walked out and met the motha…and walked over to another ride we had never done before…
“Living With the Land”…otherwise known as Yawn City. Sorry for any fans out there. I looked over in the middle of the ride…and Jon had checked out. As in…he was falling asleep! The people listening to the “script” were none too happy as I started to guffaw and belly laugh at my little sleeping man. I got a “shush” from the galley. Whatever.
I smell a Lapu!
Nanners…are they hangin’ round upside down?
I wanna grow one of these myself…
OMWord! That was boring. I would equate it with Ellen…but not as good napping potential due to the shortness of the ride!
From Yawn City…we headed over to eat. At Sunshine Seasons! We had to do the hover and swoop here…just like the other day at Cosmic Ray’s. What is it with people not leaving me a place to sit???
And for the record…the motha had the vegetable panini…full o’ carbs. Irony is not lost on me friends.
All I cared about was my Diet Coke…
***Which brings me to an aside…is it BAD to get a headache after not drinking a diet coke for a day? What do they put in those suckers anyways that makes them so gosh dern addicting? Crack? M&M’s? Morphine with a hint o’ Pirate Orlando? Hook me up to the drip dudes…supplemented with some pina colada just for an occasional break.
Anywhoodles…after lunch, we headed straight over to what has got to be the strangest ride in all of WDW…Figment. Ummmm…yea…feel free to throw your vote in here…but that “ride”…was weird. And will be a no-go for us in the future. If I’m sober anyway. I just didn’t “get it.” Sorta like that time my Uncle Chip walked around the western store in his khaki shorts, hot pink felt cowboy hat, and red alligator boots yelling, “Hey GIRLFRIEND!” I didn’t get that either.
By now…it was nearing 1:30. And it was hot. And Phillameana kept tapping me on the shoulder to remind me that she was still, hopelessly, utterly ever-present.
We were done with all of Future World that we wanted to partake of. I could taste the AC now.
But nooooooo. SOMEONE (the motha) wanted to look at the “pretty buildings” over in World Showcase. I tried to be agreeable…I really did. I only had one plan. Get. Done. Fast.
We decided to enter through Canada, eh? It was aboot one million degrees by this time…and Jen needed a sit.
Did I neglect to say that it was Flower and Garden Festival this week? Well…it sure was! Well, hot dog people! Color me allergy redish pink! (those pics coming in another update)
Just as were aboot to enter Canada eh…we happened upon a little booth with “dormant” flowers…otherwise known as expensive sticks. Well, my motha just hadta stop! If there’s something she loves more than working out…it’s gardening. Because you burn calories when you sweat in the sun!
So, Jen, Jon, and the Lex-meister popped a little sit on a bench. And that’s when it happened for the FIRST time this trip…
Here’s a hint…
Any guesses or prophesies???
Up Next: Ow…Me and My Caballeros!
Maybe this post will end up in the dining section. 
Computer glitches are nor-mal but still give me a little giggle. 
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Sometimes I leave before Wishes. Leo gets MEAN when he's tired.
This one looks like b00bies to me!
You totally song bombed me with your post though.
