Is Disney possible for us? (multiple moderate to severe invisible disabilities)

[Staren]

I'd be very cautious about anything a 3rd party VIP tour business offers. Disney does not acknowledge most of them, and some could be downright scams. They can't get you into anything faster, no matter what they promise. They do know the layout of the parks, and might have some knowledge of park events, but is that worth hundreds of dollars a day?

I would agree. If you’re seriously looking at an option like this, go with what Disney offers. Expensive, but you will get what you’re looking for. The only 3rd party I’d trust would be Give Kids The World, and they work with make a wish organizations.

 

[gap2368]

I would agree. If you’re seriously looking at an option like this, go with what Disney offers. Expensive, but you will get what you’re looking for. The only 3rd party I’d trust would be Give Kids The World, and they work with make a wish organizations.

There are some good one out there I know a few people that have used and liked them in the pass if you know what to exspect going in ( like it is not Disney where you walk in any FP line you want anytime. That you will wait in some lines then it really can be worth while

 

[DisneyOma]

I was not suggesting them as some way to get on rides faster but as an extra set of hands that also know the park and the flow of the parks. Someone that could sit out with a too short rider someone to help with meals. Someone that would know where the congestion point in the parks are someone that would know quiet spots in the park This is what I would use them for.

They could get this from an experienced babysitter for 1/5th the price though.

 

[gap2368]

They could get this from an experienced babysitter for 1/5th the price though.

Hey all I am doing is giving option for the OP to think about. Sitter primary stay at the resorts with the kids the VIP tours do the parks so they really know the parks and this can be a huge help for the OP to avoid crowds know what lines to to chose when You do not have to put down my option

 

[Skipadeedoodaa]

I'm completely following the benefits and concerns of a 3rd party tour guide vs Disney vs parents' helper. Thank you very much!

 

[DisLiss]

Dad: Autism spectrum, the only significant impact of which is that all executive functioning and emotional management of the children is Mom's domain as Dad cannot see or respond to those needs.

Child: Significant autism, globally impaired. Chatty, social, looks like a model. Loves rollercoasters. Cannot regulate emotions in response to expectations or disappointments which worsens when tired, excited, or bored, and causes thrashing meltdowns that can involve hitting, kicking, throwing, etc.

(You also mentioned that this child might need frequent bathroom breaks which could disrupt a very tightly packed park touring plan.)

Thank you so much for this! I feel a lot more comfortable with my expectation being reasonable. I am thinking my husband the studied strategist and the one child (who has a lot of previous amusement park experience) would enjoy a morning like that a few times,

I think that this is the child you are referring to since you said that they love roller-coasters and such. Given what you already mentioned about each family member's strengths & difficulties, I would spend a lot of time preparing your amusement park loving child for the fact that a day in WDW can be unpredictable. Because what you've described as things that can make life more difficult for you child are all things can very easily occur while in the park to anyone...kid or adult, with special needs or without; and then you've also said that dealing with the kids' emotional needs is not your husband's strong point, so this seems like it could have the possibility to be a real challenge.

Something you often hear people joke about (or complain about) is that you will hear parents and kids melting down in the parks with some regularity. A lot of parents don't realize that what they hope to accomplish in WDW is too much for their kids, and then when the kids aren't happy and well-behaved, the parents start sliding downhill, too. And I'd hate to see you (or anyone else) setting up a situation that might easily go in this direction, kwim?

To give you an idea of how your plan stacks up with other plans I've recently seen, just yesterday I saw someone say their plan was to hit 9 attractions over the course of the entire day. And you're trying to set up a plan to hit 7 rides in three hours. Someone else yesterday said that they try to allow for an hour per attraction in their plans, between getting to the ride (including any time needed for a drink or bathroom stop), waiting for the ride, boarding the ride, actually riding, and then leaving the ride.

 

[Skipadeedoodaa]

(You also mentioned that this child might need frequent bathroom breaks which could disrupt a very tightly packed park touring plan.)


I think that this is the child you are referring to since you said that they love roller-coasters and such. Given what you already mentioned about each family member's strengths & difficulties, I would spend a lot of time preparing your amusement park loving child for the fact that a day in WDW can be unpredictable. Because what you've described as things that can make life more difficult for you child are all things can very easily occur while in the park to anyone...kid or adult, with special needs or without; and then you've also said that dealing with the kids' emotional needs is not your husband's strong point, so this seems like it could have the possibility to be a real challenge.

Something you often hear people joke about (or complain about) is that you will hear parents and kids melting down in the parks with some regularity. A lot of parents don't realize that what they hope to accomplish in WDW is too much for their kids, and then when the kids aren't happy and well-behaved, the parents start sliding downhill, too. And I'd hate to see you (or anyone else) setting up a situation that might easily go in this direction, kwim?

To give you an idea of how your plan stacks up with other plans I've recently seen, just yesterday I saw someone say their plan was to hit 9 attractions over the course of the entire day. And you're trying to set up a plan to hit 7 rides in three hours. Someone else yesterday said that they try to allow for an hour per attraction in their plans, between getting to the ride (including any time needed for a drink or bathroom stop), waiting for the ride, boarding the ride, actually riding, and then leaving the ride.

Yes, same child. Super helpful! And the bathroom is an absolute plan stopper. You are absolutely right that the flexibility understanding has to be completely internalized and this type of plan cannot be attempted at any level without it. For my kid who is a social learner, seeing enough videos modeling that and making it into a challenge/game (which depersonalizes the stressors) could absolutely be viable, and an attainable but stretched goal would actually create enough focus to keep things moving, but it would come down to whether the flexibility was fully internalized and the day's disposition was attuned. Starting first thing in the morning 1-on-1 would be helpful for that but would create a bigger crash in the afternoon. It would definitely require a delicate balance but I think is a real option with that kind of thought and care. I'm so grateful you're here helping me hash out the options before a date is ever even set!

 

[DisneyOma]

Hey all I am doing is giving option for the OP to think about. Sitter primary stay at the resorts with the kids the VIP tours do the parks so they really know the parks and this can be a huge help for the OP to avoid crowds know what lines to to chose when You do not have to put down my option

Pointing out that suggesting a very expensive option when there is a cheaper one is not putting you down. Avoiding crowds? How does the VIP person know that over someone else? One could just look at the wait times on MDE, or use a touring plan. I don't see the need to spend big bucks on a non-Disney affiliated guide when there are no real benefits that the OP couldn't figure out herself. But to each his own - but I wouldn't count on that extra person doing much with the kids, as that would be a huge liability when the OP has stated that a couple of the kids get out of hand when frustrated.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Yes, everything @DisneyOma said.

 

[gap2368]

Pointing out that suggesting a very expensive option when there is a cheaper one is not putting you down. Avoiding crowds? How does the VIP person know that over someone else? One could just look at the wait times on MDE, or use a touring plan. I don't see the need to spend big bucks on a non-Disney affiliated guide when there are no real benefits that the OP couldn't figure out herself. But to each his own - but I wouldn't count on that extra person doing much with the kids, as that would be a huge liability when the OP has stated that a couple of the kids get out of hand when frustrated.

The person I know that used an out side VIP tour had a great time they have two speckle needs kid and they person they had was in grad school in psychology so she had a little note of an idea then most she also know the parks very well and said most people that worked for this company had trading on how do work with kids ( she said a few other people she worked with kids even with out a disability had problems at Disney you know the whole too hot mom or dad wanted to do rides then the kids wanted ) the family said ( and when I say those kids do not worm up to stranger I mean it) that they warmed up to her with in a few minutes the cost was not that bad less then $100 an hour and they even helped her plan her other days at the park gave her suggestion on FP and what rides to do when ( it was a few years ago) she told me if she every went back to Disney she would hire her or someone from this company again. So please stop butting down a good option becuse you do not think it is I have said a few times it is not like Disney VIP tours and I have said why I think it will be better then pay for one of the sitter to
Come into the park ( I know someone that did this and they never did it again as they put it it was like having another person there that would some times help push the stroller)

 

[gap2368]

Another option for you ( and I would do this if you do not have outside help from someone that know Disney for every moment that you are in the park) is touring plans there is a free version of it but I would do the paid one it is very reasonable9 I want to say under $20 for a year) and you can often find a discount code online.

here you can see how busy the park are each day ( this will give you an idea of when you should go) and no they are not 100% accurate but I find touring plans to be the best.

they will give you an idea of what each ride is like how tall you have to be to ride it ( and I think who it is good for Kids, teens but could not find it when I just looked really quick)

the wait time thought out the day it will also tell you if you should ride now or wait for later.

one of the best things about touring plans is you can make touring plans by putting in the app ( or on your computer) what rides you would like to ride and it lets you know the order and what rides are best for FP, and you can update it on the go if plans changes ride goes down

you can set your plans to less walking or less waiting or a balance of both.

they have pre-done plans too like half a day at the MK for kids and so on.

they also have a youtube channel Touring plans that you can look up.


I am sure I have missed something

 

[treemi01]

Hello!
I will start by saying I didn’t have time to read all of the responses, so I will apologize if this is repetitive! I will also start with the fact that I’m an “anything is possible type person,” so that’s the attitude I enter this with. I think you could do it, and here are the tips I would offer.
1) Stay in a monorail or gondola resort (I did see this had been mentioned already). This will help a lot in managing equipment.
2) Figure out how to get yourself a power wheelchair (I also saw suggestions for getting this mentioned). The biggest thing with this is that you cannot rent one at WDW.
3) I think getting a DAS should be possible for your family. I would enter by saying that your husband and all of your children have conditions that you believe would qualify you for this service. I would then give examples that include your preschooler’s tendency to have tics that could disrupt people verbally and physically, and your child’s difficulty with behavior and waiting in line due to her autism (I know they do not accept diagnoses, but this is language that I think many will be able to relate to.). If they need more than that, by all means be ready to explain more. I think that, since many people in your party have difficulties with waiting in line, this should be a reasonable accommodation for your group.
4) I do think a double stroller is your best option for the combination of kids you describe. You could look into options of double special needs strollers, but I’m not sure if they exist or not. If they do exist, you can bet WDW has them to rent somewhere.
5) Plan midday visits to the parks with late mornings and early evenings. Decide that 12-7pm or something is reasonable for you and then plan around it, sticking to those times. Select FP during those times, and if you do obtain a DAS, plan to use both together. Select a few attractions at each park you plan to visit and see what you can get done. Don’t set unreasonable expectations.
6) Consider if planning table service meals would help. They might be too hectic, but they might also offer respite from heat and stimulation. Disney is fantastic with dietary needs as long as you tell them what you need in advance.
7) Bring all the snacks and drinks you need to help your children with dietary needs.
8) to go with 7, place a grocery order to help have foods you need available.
9) Do any of your kids have a PCA that could travel with you? Bringing an extra adult who is familiar with the needs of even one child could be very helpful.
10) Cooling vest and fans work great for heat related issues!

I know I was thinking of more things, but I have forgotten them. I do think you could do this, but I think it would require a lot of planning and reasonable expectations.

 

[kaytieeldr]

The person I know that used an out side VIP tour had a great time they have two speckle needs kid and they person they had was in grad school in psychology so she had a little note of an idea then most

Maybe you can get more information about this person and PM it to @Skipadeedoodaa?

 

[gap2368]

Maybe you can get more information about this person and PM it to @Skipadeedoodaa?

If the op would like me too I can try . They moved a few months after they went some where up north east Have not talked to them since.

 

[redberyl]

You have gotten a lot of good advice but let me add this. Manage your expectations. Dont go in with a long list of things you "have" to do, and dont try to cram everything in. Its easy to stress out when youre not getting much done and to feel like youre not getting your moneys worth. Make up your mind before you go that youre not going to worry about that. Take it slow and take as many breaks as you need. Nobody will have fun if they are all tired.I would let each child choose one thing that they really, really want to do and focus on those. If you get those things done, its a successful trip. Everything else is bonus. Take it slow and just enjoy the atmosphere. My daughters both have medical problems. My oldest wears out sooo quickly, we can only do a few hours each day.There is no way we can get everything done so we dont even try, and I have learned to be ok with that. Mt youngest has some sensory issues and hates most rides, so i feel bad that she misses out on a lot. But shes happier that way. Neither of my girls get to do a whole lot when we go but they both still enjoy it.

 

[Skipadeedoodaa]

Maybe you can get more information about this person and PM it to @Skipadeedoodaa?

If the op would like me too I can try . They moved a few months after they went some where up north east Have not talked to them since.

Thank you! When we get to the point of choosing a parents' helper, attendant, babysitter, tour guide, or Disney tour I will be sure to follow-up since there's such a diversity of experiences to tap into here! I really appreciate the info!

 

[Tallis]

This sounds like a train wreck to me. I'm no strangers to disabilities, including physical, ASD, TBI, and PTSD. Even so, I don't see this particular situation ending well unless there were several more adults (grandparents, aunts, uncles?) willing to go along. Disney is ALWAYS crowded and stressful. There used to be slower times, but I sure haven't encountered any since 2002, and we go at all times of the year, and often.

I'm not even sure you would be able to stay at the parks, without being asked to leave, with children physically lashing out at others and screaming cuss words. I know that sentence sounded rude, but it wasn't intended to be. I just don't know how to phrase it softly. You may also have difficulty finding a sitter that is willing to take on physically violent children. I think I would cross that part off the list all together.

Also, not sure Fort Wilderness is a good idea with one of the children having "insect anaphylaxis." There are so many biting bugs at the Fort! I've never seen them at the parks, but at the Fort we've dealt with mosquitoes, biting flies, fire ants, ticks, and most recently a site infested with chiggers. If you are going to attempt this trip, you may be much safer in a suite.

And with another of the children being very sensitive to heat, I would plan for January or February. Even then, it's no guarantee we will not have a heat spell during those months. We did this year. But those months have the best odds.

If you are determined to do this, I honestly hope it works out well for your family. However, if I were in your position, I would spend my money on much less stressful vacations that are more likely to work out. A Disney cruise sounds like a good compromise to me.

 

[Skipadeedoodaa]

Another option for you ( and I would do this if you do not have outside help from someone that know Disney for every moment that you are in the park) is touring plans there is a free version of it but I would do the paid one it is very reasonable9 I want to say under $20 for a year) and you can often find a discount code online.

here you can see how busy the park are each day ( this will give you an idea of when you should go) and no they are not 100% accurate but I find touring plans to be the best.

they will give you an idea of what each ride is like how tall you have to be to ride it ( and I think who it is good for Kids, teens but could not find it when I just looked really quick)

the wait time thought out the day it will also tell you if you should ride now or wait for later.

one of the best things about touring plans is you can make touring plans by putting in the app ( or on your computer) what rides you would like to ride and it lets you know the order and what rides are best for FP, and you can update it on the go if plans changes ride goes down

you can set your plans to less walking or less waiting or a balance of both.

they have pre-done plans too like half a day at the MK for kids and so on.

they also have a youtube channel Touring plans that you can look up.


I am sure I have missed something

Thanks! Another family messaged me with a TP link (look at me getting the lingo thanks to that PM! Why can't I find a hat tip emoji? A cheers will have to suffice! )

I did not know of the pre-made plans or YouTube channel, though! Bookmarking...

Hello!
I will start by saying I didn’t have time to read all of the responses, so I will apologize if this is repetitive! I will also start with the fact that I’m an “anything is possible type person,” so that’s the attitude I enter this with. I think you could do it, and here are the tips I would offer.
1) Stay in a monorail or gondola resort (I did see this had been mentioned already). This will help a lot in managing equipment.
2) Figure out how to get yourself a power wheelchair (I also saw suggestions for getting this mentioned). The biggest thing with this is that you cannot rent one at WDW.
3) I think getting a DAS should be possible for your family. I would enter by saying that your husband and all of your children have conditions that you believe would qualify you for this service. I would then give examples that include your preschooler’s tendency to have tics that could disrupt people verbally and physically, and your child’s difficulty with behavior and waiting in line due to her autism (I know they do not accept diagnoses, but this is language that I think many will be able to relate to.). If they need more than that, by all means be ready to explain more. I think that, since many people in your party have difficulties with waiting in line, this should be a reasonable accommodation for your group.
4) I do think a double stroller is your best option for the combination of kids you describe. You could look into options of double special needs strollers, but I’m not sure if they exist or not. If they do exist, you can bet WDW has them to rent somewhere.
5) Plan midday visits to the parks with late mornings and early evenings. Decide that 12-7pm or something is reasonable for you and then plan around it, sticking to those times. Select FP during those times, and if you do obtain a DAS, plan to use both together. Select a few attractions at each park you plan to visit and see what you can get done. Don’t set unreasonable expectations.
6) Consider if planning table service meals would help. They might be too hectic, but they might also offer respite from heat and stimulation. Disney is fantastic with dietary needs as long as you tell them what you need in advance.
7) Bring all the snacks and drinks you need to help your children with dietary needs.
8) to go with 7, place a grocery order to help have foods you need available.
9) Do any of your kids have a PCA that could travel with you? Bringing an extra adult who is familiar with the needs of even one child could be very helpful.
10) Cooling vest and fans work great for heat related issues!

I know I was thinking of more things, but I have forgotten them. I do think you could do this, but I think it would require a lot of planning and reasonable expectations.

I called my doctor, insurance, and three DMEs about getting an electric chair. And I think I could potentially rent while there because of my previous experience. So I think that's a check box already from this thread!

And I have an ergonomic inline double stroller so it should have no problems with the new stroller restrictions, which I will ask to have treated as a wheelchair for the sake of three of us as I purchased one with a height-adjustable handle and very high ground to seat clearance so I can use it for stability and the three youngest can all fit in it for tone, sensory, emotional, privacy type things.

Our attendant cannot travel with us. But that would also add a lot of issues with traveling and potentially staying on-property in a camper trailer without being able to give the attendant a private space.

Are there any sit down restaurants that are a little bit loud so kid noise isn't an issue but not hectic or chaotic or fast-paced? Something parallel to the effect of Pirates of the Caribbean restaurant at Disneyland whose name I don't remember but it is dark and chill but has the ride going through the place and the indoor-outdoor feel to it? Dark isn't at all necessary, it's just one of the components of the ambience of doing your own thing. More subdued or casual settings don't only absorb more without being noticed but they actually trigger less because the expectations and demands for stillness and silence simply aren't present.

The monorail or gondola resort cost with the close quarters (which we can do as we go to hotels several times a year which isn't stressful but isn't ideal because, for example, we eat in the room but there's not enough seating so food is jostled onto the floor which we have to clean up and the space causes us to take longer than usual) vs the campground (which is a culture and setting in which we thrive and spend weekends in all the time but that means I am the one cleaning and overseeing cleaning of it every day, or waiting to share a public shower, plus it is far away and apparently requires a $60 a day golf cart rental to manage...) is going to be a major discussion point for us, primarily because of the massive cost difference. And people are predicting the gondola hotels quickly rising after the ticket hikes. How would you explain the difference at a real, practical level to help us understand the difference it makes in a day?

Packing our own foods and ordering in groceries will be for sure something I'd expect and come here to help navigate!

I have a fan and a cooling scarf (which doesn't help in humidity as evaporative cooling isn't really effective when there's so much water already in the air) and I had forgotten I wanted to look into a cooling vests to see if they use a different cooling process. Thank you!

You have gotten a lot of good advice but let me add this. Manage your expectations. Dont go in with a long list of things you "have" to do, and dont try to cram everything in. Its easy to stress out when youre not getting much done and to feel like youre not getting your moneys worth. Make up your mind before you go that youre not going to worry about that. Take it slow and take as many breaks as you need. Nobody will have fun if they are all tired.I would let each child choose one thing that they really, really want to do and focus on those. If you get those things done, its a successful trip. Everything else is bonus. Take it slow and just enjoy the atmosphere. My daughters both have medical problems. My oldest wears out sooo quickly, we can only do a few hours each day.There is no way we can get everything done so we dont even try, and I have learned to be ok with that. Mt youngest has some sensory issues and hates most rides, so i feel bad that she misses out on a lot. But shes happier that way. Neither of my girls get to do a whole lot when we go but they both still enjoy it.

Thank you! I found myself already intentionally reigning myself in. I'm only looking into two parks--Epcot and Magic Kingdom--because the kids' top wish could all be covered in those two but when I watched a video, I most wanted to visit Animal Kingdom and was thinking maybe we could just take a date night safari or something and I had to tell myself I wouldn't even look into it. I imagine once there the time will fill itself but planning could go on forever!

How do you balance the cost of going with what you're able to do while there? Do you just enjoy sitting with your feet up there? Use the sitters? Choose a cost-effective resort? Maximize savings to reduce the gap? Just accept the cost as is?

 

[Skipadeedoodaa]

I'm not even sure you would be able to stay at the parks, without being asked to leave, with children physically lashing out at others and screaming cuss words. I know that sentence sounded rude, but it wasn't intended to be. I just don't know how to phrase it softly.

I didn't say they lash out violently at others, I said a meltdown (not lash out) can involve hitting and kicking which I wouldn't put/leave them in the position to be doing in a way that could hurt themselves or others.

While coprolalia is covered under ADA, I also never said my children curse, I said they can use taboo words and phrases. Not that it matters. Would you have your child with coprolalia literally never leave the house to go in stores, religious houses, school, the park, or other places in life for their first 20-odd years or more? Recreation and public access are human rights. And freedom of speech means I expect to hear cursing from other visitors even though that one exposure can mean my child can pick it up as a tic that never goes away, because neither you nor we can be protected from this reality as much as we might wish it weren't the case. Thankfully for both of us, the large open-air environment of an amusement park covers up many of these things so I'm far more likely to notice the cussing than you, since I have to be far more vigilant at all times to its presence.

You clearly have no experience with what our family handles day in and day out so I sincerely thank you for your thoughtfulness in replying and would like to suggest some YouTube binges of Tourette shows and documentaries, perhaps, to see the wide diversity and how much is internally managed (by the person, by the family) in order to not be disabled by the environment so that you can begin to word your inquiries and advice with gentleness, nuance, effectiveness, and solidarity in order to assist other people with limitations and impairments as an ally to find ways they can avoid disabilities in environments with which you are familiar and frequent.

 

[OurBigTrip]

FYI, there is no such thing as a right to “freedom of speech” in a Disney park, or in any other non-governmental space.

As for your children lashing out at others, true enough that you never said that. But you did say it requires “understanding”...understanding of whom? Because not too many people are going to be understanding of a child that is hitting, kicking, and biting, ADA or no ADA.