Is Anyone Homeschooling as a Safety Reason? Not THE reason...A reason

[graygables]

Safety was one of our primary reasons. I used to be a public school English teacher. I was assaulted and choked at night school (I taught everything from AP to at-risk) and couldn't speak for several days. There were other incidents and I quit teaching. Sorry, but I'm not going to risk my life for crappy pay and obnoxious parents who think little Suzy who is letting every boy up her skirt is the perfect angel.

Fast forward a few years, DD in 2nd grade PS, they were allowing the music group Korn to be played in PE. Sorry, I have a problem with that, so I told them that if they were going to play that, they also had to play selections by other families, including, but not limited to, contemporary Christian music. The PE teacher quit playing Korn and told the students that it was my DD's fault. 2nd grade, mind you. A little boy threatened to kill her on the playground and he got a slap on the wrist and a sit in the principal's office. I took DDs out of school that day. BTW, the same kid was expelled (after multiple suspensions) in high school for weapons and drug possession.

For our younger 2, it is emotional safety that is a concern. 10yo is Asperger's and has PCOS, so would be teased unmercifully. She already gets some of that and rejection in our daily activities and I will not allow her spirit to be broken just so someone else's kid can feel superior. We are far from isolated with dance, skating, church, music, and recently LOTS of travel. 8yo actually made a sale at a convention last year, while I was teaching and DH was talking w/ another customer. Rang her up, took her money, bagged the item, etc. Both 8 & 10yos were giving impromptu lessons in scrapbooking techniques to passersby. They are learning REAL life skills, not how to sit still, raise their hands, and line up for recess. I've never been to any office meetings that have anyone lining up for recess now that I think about it...

My final remark to most people is: When was the last time a coworker shoved you into the cubicle wall? When was the last time you were offered cocaine in the restroom of your office? When was the last time your boss beat you up in the break room for your salad? What is so "real life" about public school?

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Safety was one of our primary reasons. I used to be a public school English teacher. I was assaulted and choked at night school (I taught everything from AP to at-risk) and couldn't speak for several days. There were other incidents and I quit teaching. Sorry, but I'm not going to risk my life for crappy pay and obnoxious parents who think little Suzy who is letting every boy up her skirt is the perfect angel.

Fast forward a few years, DD in 2nd grade PS, they were allowing the music group Korn to be played in PE. Sorry, I have a problem with that, so I told them that if they were going to play that, they also had to play selections by other families, including, but not limited to, contemporary Christian music. The PE teacher quit playing Korn and told the students that it was my DD's fault. 2nd grade, mind you. A little boy threatened to kill her on the playground and he got a slap on the wrist and a sit in the principal's office. I took DDs out of school that day. BTW, the same kid was expelled (after multiple suspensions) in high school for weapons and drug possession.

For our younger 2, it is emotional safety that is a concern. 10yo is Asperger's and has PCOS, so would be teased unmercifully. She already gets some of that and rejection in our daily activities and I will not allow her spirit to be broken just so someone else's kid can feel superior. We are far from isolated with dance, skating, church, music, and recently LOTS of travel. 8yo actually made a sale at a convention last year, while I was teaching and DH was talking w/ another customer. Rang her up, took her money, bagged the item, etc. Both 8 & 10yos were giving impromptu lessons in scrapbooking techniques to passersby. They are learning REAL life skills, not how to sit still, raise their hands, and line up for recess. I've never been to any office meetings that have anyone lining up for recess now that I think about it...

My final remark to most people is: When was the last time a coworker shoved you into the cubicle wall? When was the last time you were offered cocaine in the restroom of your office? When was the last time your boss beat you up in the break room for your salad? What is so "real life" about public school?

If you read the earlier posts we all seemed to agree to put this subject to bed........

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Safety was one of our primary reasons. I used to be a public school English teacher. I was assaulted and choked at night school (I taught everything from AP to at-risk) and couldn't speak for several days. There were other incidents and I quit teaching. Sorry, but I'm not going to risk my life for crappy pay and obnoxious parents who think little Suzy who is letting every boy up her skirt is the perfect angel.

Fast forward a few years, DD in 2nd grade PS, they were allowing the music group Korn to be played in PE. Sorry, I have a problem with that, so I told them that if they were going to play that, they also had to play selections by other families, including, but not limited to, contemporary Christian music. The PE teacher quit playing Korn and told the students that it was my DD's fault. 2nd grade, mind you. A little boy threatened to kill her on the playground and he got a slap on the wrist and a sit in the principal's office. I took DDs out of school that day. BTW, the same kid was expelled (after multiple suspensions) in high school for weapons and drug possession.

For our younger 2, it is emotional safety that is a concern. 10yo is Asperger's and has PCOS, so would be teased unmercifully. She already gets some of that and rejection in our daily activities and I will not allow her spirit to be broken just so someone else's kid can feel superior. We are far from isolated with dance, skating, church, music, and recently LOTS of travel. 8yo actually made a sale at a convention last year, while I was teaching and DH was talking w/ another customer. Rang her up, took her money, bagged the item, etc. Both 8 & 10yos were giving impromptu lessons in scrapbooking techniques to passersby. They are learning REAL life skills, not how to sit still, raise their hands, and line up for recess. I've never been to any office meetings that have anyone lining up for recess now that I think about it...

My final remark to most people is: When was the last time a coworker shoved you into the cubicle wall? When was the last time you were offered cocaine in the restroom of your office? When was the last time your boss beat you up in the break room for your salad? What is so "real life" about public school?

I am so sorry you had that experience. I can't even begin to imagine. I would comletely homeschool if I had those horrible experiences. We are not going to HS but DH and I talked about it and both agreed that in certain situations it is the best solution. I wish you much success in your teaching and maybe some day you will go back to the public teaching world in a better environment.

 

[jaycns]

Safety was one of our primary reasons. I used to be a public school English teacher. I was assaulted and choked at night school (I taught everything from AP to at-risk) and couldn't speak for several days. There were other incidents and I quit teaching. Sorry, but I'm not going to risk my life for crappy pay and obnoxious parents who think little Suzy who is letting every boy up her skirt is the perfect angel.

Fast forward a few years, DD in 2nd grade PS, they were allowing the music group Korn to be played in PE. Sorry, I have a problem with that, so I told them that if they were going to play that, they also had to play selections by other families, including, but not limited to, contemporary Christian music. The PE teacher quit playing Korn and told the students that it was my DD's fault. 2nd grade, mind you. A little boy threatened to kill her on the playground and he got a slap on the wrist and a sit in the principal's office. I took DDs out of school that day. BTW, the same kid was expelled (after multiple suspensions) in high school for weapons and drug possession.

For our younger 2, it is emotional safety that is a concern. 10yo is Asperger's and has PCOS, so would be teased unmercifully. She already gets some of that and rejection in our daily activities and I will not allow her spirit to be broken just so someone else's kid can feel superior. We are far from isolated with dance, skating, church, music, and recently LOTS of travel. 8yo actually made a sale at a convention last year, while I was teaching and DH was talking w/ another customer. Rang her up, took her money, bagged the item, etc. Both 8 & 10yos were giving impromptu lessons in scrapbooking techniques to passersby. They are learning REAL life skills, not how to sit still, raise their hands, and line up for recess. I've never been to any office meetings that have anyone lining up for recess now that I think about it...

My final remark to most people is: When was the last time a coworker shoved you into the cubicle wall? When was the last time you were offered cocaine in the restroom of your office? When was the last time your boss beat you up in the break room for your salad? What is so "real life" about public school?

Thanks for sharing! I have often asked others those same questions...

 

[graygables]

If you read the earlier posts we all seemed to agree to put this subject to bed........

Bullies are everywhere and some (ahem) never grow up.

I particularly at the notion that ANYONE on this thread was involved in a "we all seemed to agree" moment with NEVERENOUGHWDW.

 

[sha_lyn]

NEVERENOUGHWDW....The subject of this thread is homeschooling fo safety. That is exactly what graygables posted about.
You just don't undertand that do you? If you want to debate homeschool, then start a thread, if not stop address threads that speciffically asking questions to those who homeschool.
If you were to ask a question about the food at Coral Reeef, I wouldn't go on there and start bashing people who like to eat seafood. I wouldn't have anything to say, since I haven't eaten there. However you seem to have a lot to say about homeschooling for safety reason, although you don't homeschool. Yes this is a public forum, but why post on a thread that you have no connection to what so ever?

 

[perdidochas]

For instance, the Amish School shootings and just violence in school period?

In my state, a student was abducted at school at gunpoint and their is now an Amber Alert on the child.

I just don't think schools are safe anymore...especially High Schools.

Donning the flaming suit...

The safest place out of my (or my wife's) sight is school.

 

[Ellester]

Here's another perspective ....

Think for a moment about the tragic school shootings in recent years. Did ANY of them occur in schools with metal detectors and guards???

My alma mater (high school) has had 2 Philadelphia Police officers stationed at the school since the early 1970s (their pics are in the yearbooks every year). Never had a shooting at the school. Never even had a serious incident at the school. I went there in the early 1980s. We didn't feel scared and threatened by the cops, we felt safe because they were there.

We also had 2 full time cops in my highschool in the 80's. That didn't stop a group of dropouts from another school from jumping random kids in the boys room. My boyfriend at the time got off easy, with just a black eye and bloody nose. The kids with the broken teeth and punctured lung didn't fair so well (I'm pretty sure they broke his violin also). My school was in a well-to-do suburb of Ft. Lauderdale. I can't say I ever felt overly safe there, although I guess I never felt overtly threatened either.

To the OP, safety was one of the many factors considered in our decision. I did not like the fact that my kindergartener had to do regular "lock-down" drills in addition to fire drills. I don't think any five year old needs the word lock-down in their vocabulary. Her school was also one of the best in the district and in a "low crime" area (in Charlotte, NC).

 

[PA Princess]

This is our first year of homeschooling...my kids are in first, fifth, and sixth grade. Prior to this year they attended a private school. We live in a small city and the public school system is not good and safety is a factor in our decision making to home school. Not the factor, but a factor that weighed in our decision nonetheless.

I am a public school graduate and a former high school teacher. I have numerous friends and relatives who still teach and work in the public schools. I have always considered myself an advocate of public education, but it seems more and more things happen that make me seriously question the public school system as it exists today.

My list of concerns is too large to elaborate in great detail here but basic things like what is best for kids, the quallity of the education we are providing future generations, and safety in public schools are things on that list.

I read a most alarming article from the Allentown Morning Call (a PA paper) recently where the local school district was actually arguing in federal court that school districts are not required to protect students. This is a case involving a 6 year old being raped in the school bathroom by a fellow 12 year old student (and no one denies this happened...older child already adjudicated). This is a school district half an hour from my home, and a court case being argued here in the city where we reside.

This article has stuck with me since I read it and has me wondering about school safety more than I ever have. I mean, I know lots of great people in public schools (from pincipals, to teachers, to guidance counselors), but even they will have to admit they are not the norm. Seems schools are more and more filled with adults who are there for the pension, the benefits, etc and when something truly awful happens they will probably go into protect their hide actions rather than what is best for the child/children...too me this is more dangerous than almost anything else in schools.

Sorry if I have rambled on a thread where many have agreed to disagree. I have been following this thread, but that article has haunted me and I just thought this seemed an approproate place to ramble

 

[disneymom3]

We as parents have the ultimate say as to what we do with our own kids, within the limits of the law, of course. But it IS society's concern what is done with/for kids, even if it's not society's decision what is done.

Kids grow up to be adults, and adults run society. So I have a great big interest in how today's kids are developing into tomorrow's adults.

So while I don't appreciate the other poster's tone and apparent intolerance, I do think he has reason for knowing and caring about how ANY schooling is done and how it impacts kids overall.

Umm, okay, then that means that those of us who think the public school system is broken (read anything by John Gatto) have a right to debate if you should send your kids to public school too right? Imagine how people would totally FREAK if we all went on the "do you pull your child out of school" threads and told people they were doing their children a disservice by sending them to school at all. I could go on and on about how terrible it would be, but I won't. Because while I don't like the public schools, I know that for others they are the best choice.

If you read the earlier posts we all seemed to agree to put this subject to bed........

Actually, no we didn't. That was the original intent of the topic to begin with. In reference to this and other posts of this same poster, I would like to remind all of you that the lovely little exclamation point at the bottom left corner of a person's post is a "report this post" link and that personal attacks and sarcasm are not allowed on the DIS.

As for safety, honestly it never occurred to me at all. I see the benefit now but it did not play into our decision. Barkley--I do know what you mean about the social aspects of homeschoolers having a differnt social expectation than kids who have "been around the block" so to speak. I think my kids are very well socialized--they make friends easily and can talk to many people of different ages. HOWEVER, they expect people to be nice and are a bit thrown when they are not. The boys adapted to this very easily upon running into their first bully. In fact the youngest didn't bat an eye and picked up this whole mean kid concept very easily. The middle one, doesn't care if people are mean, he just blows them off. My oldest who is a girl, has a much harder time with this. When the whole cliquey thing started in her Sunday School class this fall she had no idea how to cope with it. Now, she is in girl scouts, gymnastics and acts quite a bit but the cliques had never been an issue in any of those groups. She is dealing with it now, but it did take quite some time for her to even GET it at all. There is one little girl (Who is also homeschooled actually) who will invite DD over to play and they have a great time, but then at church when there is another little girl there, she won't speak to DD. I asked DD about it the other day and if she found it odd. Her response was, "I don't know. She is just weird I guess." So, apparently she is figuring this out!

 

[5starmom]

I wouldn't say it was one of our primary motives for choosing homeschooling, however, it is one of many situations about which we now say, "Thank goodness we homeschool!" Knowing what we do now and seeing what we have, I think safety would be higher on the list of reasons for homeschooling if we were making the decision today.

 

[NemoMOm]

So, I just came back to this thread to see about other people's response and wow! How did this turn into a debate? I just don't understand why people see a header and think wow I totally disagree with that topic let me go in and argue and offend people.

Mickey would so disapprove.

 

[CleveRocks]

Umm, okay, then that means that those of us who think the public school system is broken (read anything by John Gatto) have a right to debate if you should send your kids to public school too right? Imagine how people would totally FREAK if we all went on the "do you pull your child out of school" threads and told people they were doing their children a disservice by sending them to school at all. I could go on and on about how terrible it would be, but I won't.

WHOA! WHY SO ANGRY??!! I believe I've been nothing but respectful. Can't I question something or have a different viewpoint? I don't believe I deserve your scorn or sarcasm. Please show me where I even alluded to the thought that home schooling is a disservice.

Does ANYONE (home or institution) teach civility anymore???

 

[va32h]

Originally Posted by devotedchristian
For instance, the Amish School shootings and just violence in school period?

In my state, a student was abducted at school at gunpoint and their is now an Amber Alert on the child.

I just don't think schools are safe anymore...especially High Schools.

Donning the flaming suit...

I am not a homeschooler, but I'm certainly not trying to be contentious. I absolutely respect anyone who chooses to homeschool.

I simply wanted to say that conditions in your school district are probably a more relevant factor for your decision than incidents that happened within the state or in the country

The Amish school shootings couldn't possibly have been predicted, that was such a horrible, tragic, freak occurrence, brought about by one man determined to cause suffering. A kidnapping that occurred somewhere in the state wouldn't necessarily make me nervous - it is likely, unfortuately, that kidnappings occur in every state on a daily basis.

I am very fortunate that the public school my children attend is, IMO, safe. I'm not happy with the school's emphasis on standarized tests and complete lack of an arts program, but these are things I can supplement at home and with extracurricular programs.

But I do think that in terms of bullying, child abduction, drugs, sexual activity - it is safe. Although of course there are no guarantees. It is as safe as they can make it. Doors locked, visitors screened, a resource officer on campus throughout the day. The one incident of bullying that involved my daughter was handled swiftly and appropriately.

If safety is the primary reason that you are considering homeschooling, I would look closely at the actual school, district, and neighborhood your children would attend. If those fail to meet your standards of safety, by all means do what you feel is best.

 

[disney-super-mom]

But I do think that in terms of bullying, child abduction, drugs, sexual activity - it is safe. Although of course there are no guarantees. It is as safe as they can make it. Doors locked, visitors screened, a resource officer on campus throughout the day. The one incident of bullying that involved my daughter was handled swiftly and appropriately.

First, I agree with what you're saying, but second, I just want to say that you are SO LUCKY to live in such a great school district! I WISH we lived in such a district.

It's interesting because the school district we're in is considered one of the best in our city, but quite frankly, I think it's lacking in many many areas.

 

[Dzierzy Mierz]

In reference to this and other posts of this same poster, I would like to remind all of you that the lovely little exclamation point at the bottom left corner of a person's post is a "report this post" link and that personal attacks and sarcasm are not allowed on the DIS.

I reported posts by that person days ago. I see that nothing has happened...so either the mod is on vacation (at Disney?! lol), busy, or that kind of personal attacking is allowed on these forums?

 

[sha_lyn]

I reported posts by that person days ago. I see that nothing has happened...so either the mod is on vacation (at Disney?! lol), busy, or that kind of personal attacking is allowed on these forums?

IMHO it seems that it is OK to pick on/attack anyone who does things considered AP/Crunchy/non main stream such as homeschooling, non vaxing, non circ'ing, extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping etc.

 

[dementia412]

1. for the people who think hs'ed kids have no social life... my three kids go to public schools and have no social life at all. Some hs'ed kids ARE sheltered and learn nothing about the real world, but that should not just be assumed. It is a sterotype which shows like Wife Swap have only made worse. (remember the woman who had the kids making shoes all day )

2. Safty, schools are alot safer than home... the only reason you hear about the school cases is because they are easy to sensationalize. Read your paper any day and there are home break ins, rapes, murders. No place is immune to danger. We had a guy take people hostage in a church here. I doubt any of the believers here would consider not worshiping in church because of that. We also had a very well known case of a nun being murdered in church (I'm sure some of you know the case, they put a priest on trail for it). Point is, those things happen everywhere, and if you look at statistics it's more likely to happen in your house (and not just because you spend more time there).

3. I'd worry more about the small dangers... the brat who pinches kids under the desk, takes their stuff, throws their books in the street, spits in their food, or (what just happened to my DD7) tells them they'll be friends if your kid gives them money. That stuff is soul crushing, and it happens in the best of schools no matter how much they claim they don't tolerate bullies.

4. I have many reasons to hs..wish I could!

 

[disneymom3]

WHOA! WHY SO ANGRY??!! I believe I've been nothing but respectful. Can't I question something or have a different viewpoint? I don't believe I deserve your scorn or sarcasm. Please show me where I even alluded to the thought that home schooling is a disservice.

Does ANYONE (home or institution) teach civility anymore???

I apologize Eric. I did not intend to come off as angry. I was not even addressing your comment so much as referencing that as homeschoolers we are very often subjected to judging from others who assume we are making the wrong choice and yet people would be very offended if we were to turn the tables. Again, I apologize. Tone is hard to read but my writing may very well have been more heated than necessary. I try very hard to be open and polite and I wouldn't want to create any hard feelings.

 

[hsmamato2]

Funny thing is one of the reasons I homeschool because I think learning is a cooperative experience. It needs to active, instead of passive, which is what PS has become. My children do not lack peers, other teachers, speaking and working in groups etc. In fact they have more opertunities to do so as homeschoolers.

Totally agree!

To OP,we don't hs for safety reasons,as I know there's no perfectly safe place,but I do enjoy the benefits of not worrying about that one thing...