Is anyone else not saving or paying for college?

[Southernmiss]

Oregon requires teachers to have a masters (within a specific time period). And a good guess would be that they don't pay top salaries. All of the accounting/finance jobs I had required an MBA or CPA at a minimum.

I agree with this. I am in Mississippi and I know a lot of teachers who have or are going back for Master's degrees. I think this is becoming more the norm, than the exception.

DH has an MBA to work in his field as well.

 

[Pigeon]

So let me ask, if your daughter was passionate about a field of study such as medicine, law, accounting, architecture, which require intense study, post- under grad work ( and the costs that come with it), licensing, etc, would you discourage her? Because if she's just going to have to quit when she has kids and not work for 20 plus years (assuming she'll have more than one kid), then it's really not worth it. Schooling until 24-25, only to work maybe 3-5 years and then quit for 20 doesn't seem to make sense then, right? Actually, why send her to college at all? Unless its just to get the classic MRS degree....

Yikes.

Well, let's face it. If she doesn't have that all-important Y chromosome, there is no point in her worrying her pretty little head with all that book learning to be a doctor. She should just realize that her destiny is popping out a litter of offspring and staying home and in her place to "raise" them.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Well, let's face it. If she doesn't have that all-important Y chromosome, there is no point in her worrying her pretty little head with all that book learning to be a doctor. She should just realize that her destiny is popping out a litter of offspring and staying home and in her place to "raise" them.

Back to the kitchen where you belong!!!!

 

[StephMK]

Different strokes for different folks I guess. I find this post very sad. I am a SAHM and wouldn't have it any other way. My life and time are of way more value to me than money. I have a DD10 and I have told her that she can do whatever she would like in life but I would be very disappointed if she choose to work instead of raising her children. I've told DS the same about whatever woman he would marry. I've always felt incredibly sad for children raised in daycares or by nannys while mom and dad are out fulfilling their dreams of having more and living better. Years ago, before having kids, I was a nanny. I took care of a 9 and 6 year old. One day the 6 year old said that she wished her mom was home with her everyday. The 9 year old quickly said that if she was they wouldn't have as much "stuff". Already at 9 he valued material possessions over family time I would MUCH rather live in a small house and drive an older car and spend my days leisurely with my children than live in a giant house and drive a fancy car and be so busy with work that I had to hire people to clean my house, make my food, and raise my kids.

I don't know why you feel it is an either/or situation. DH & I work and have no paid help. I take the kids to school and if DH doesn't pick them up, they take the bus and are home for 1/2 hour alone. I take some work home but DH has no overtime or travel so work doesn't rule our waking hours. We have older cars though we do have a decent house in a great neighborhood with an excellent school district. We are not living a life of luxury and our kids are not suffering from our choices. Happy medium all around.

DD was one of those "top" high school students. Unfortunately, admissions officers have STACKS of "top" student applications, according to a friend who IS an admissions officer at an Ivy. You have to be really outstanding at something (NSF science fair national winner, for example) to get noticed and offered a free ride. DD was offered decent money by several good private schools ($30K-$40K in scholarship/grant money), but it'd still leave her about $20K-$25K a year "short" and as my smart girl said, "I want to be an English teacher and a dancer. How am I going to repay $80-$100K?" so she is at UMaine. NO, they don't have the dance program she wanted, but there's enough of a dance community for her to stay involved and progressing, while studying at a great English department that offers courses she loves. I guess my real point here is... DON"T assume that because your kid is in the top 5% of her class, has good SAT scores, took and passed AP classes, that there will be money at the end of the rainbow.

Cost? $280/credit hour, or $8960 a year. Fees are another $2200 a year (DON"T get me started on the $950/semester general fee... just a way for the state to say they haven't raised tuition...), room and board about $8300 if you are in a double room. Luckily her books are only around $400 a year (yes, we buy used, or rent, although that didn't work out too well). SO... about $20K a year, but she is only borrowing about $9K a year instead of $22K/year if she'd gone to the first choice school.

Agreed! DD's state school is $18k a year. She was a 4.0+ student, several long term activities that show her passion and great ACT scores. She was also offered some money but like PP said, it didn't cover enough. The state school gave $2k. Great students are a dime a dozen. I hope the parents expecting students to work hard for scholarships have extraordinary talents, skills or options that put them ahead of a very big pack of motivated students.

We do intend to help our kids to the best of our ability and have set money aside for that purpose. If the costs of college keep rising, then there will be some choices that might have to be made. I don't know how kids can work themselves through college or how parents can feel good if they have the means but want them to "struggle". DD's friend is struggling because her parents aren't able (completely understand if you legitimately can't) and it is really hard on her.

For those parents who don't plan to help, I hope you are upfront with your kids early on. Another of DD's friends was told senior year that there was no money for college. She had believed that there was and it changed her whole expected game plan pretty late in the process.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Teachers in New York State also must have a Master's degree within Agee years of receiving their bachelors degree to be able to teach.

 

[pigletgirl]

Different strokes for different folks I guess. I find this post very sad. I am a SAHM and wouldn't have it any other way. My life and time are of way more value to me than money. I have a DD10 and I have told her that she can do whatever she would like in life but I would be very disappointed if she choose to work instead of raising her children. I've told DS the same about whatever woman he would marry. I've always felt incredibly sad for children raised in daycares or by nannys while mom and dad are out fulfilling their dreams of having more and living better. Years ago, before having kids, I was a nanny. I took care of a 9 and 6 year old. One day the 6 year old said that she wished her mom was home with her everyday. The 9 year old quickly said that if she was they wouldn't have as much "stuff". Already at 9 he valued material possessions over family time I would MUCH rather live in a small house and drive an older car and spend my days leisurely with my children than live in a giant house and drive a fancy car and be so busy with work that I had to hire people to clean my house, make my food, and raise my kids.

Wow....

Do you realize some families do not have a choice? This isnt the 1950s anymore. Why would there be so much disappointment if your DD worked and chose to do so? What if she doesn't want children? *gasp!* There is more to life than just raising babies. Women have the ability these days to have a career. AND, lastly, what if your daughters future DH was disabled and/or killed in a horrific accident? She would have to provide for her family. You cannot judge a parent for working, because there are many different circumstances. I would hope your daughter would break from the mold you are forming her to be, and let her do as she wants.

As for your son, I hope he wouldn't force his future wife to be the incubator of future kids. No woman likes a controlling man!

 

[Pamlur]

My spouse and I are looking forward to marriage 3.0 and have no problems traveling the world while our kid struggles after leaving home.

That makes me cry, every time I read it. I have never been able to bear seeing my children struggle, while I enjoy luxury. They are all grown now, and I have lost one, but I still feel the same; I just love them too much.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

The classic quote from someone who can afford to live in a small house, drive an older car and be a SAHM. MOST women who work do it to AFFORD the small house, food for the kids, an older car to drive. I had no choice 20+ years ago, and most women I know who have younger kids are in the same boat. You are lucky to be able to stay home. Don't judge other women who cannot afford to.

And despite the fact that my kids spent their days in daycares while my husband and I worked, they turned into well adjusted, productive members of society who we have a great relationship with.

If I didn't work, we wouldn't be living in a small house and driving an older car. We'd be living in a box under a bridge and driving whatever hotwheels car we could find that we could dig out the sandbox at the cart.

With my salary we have a nice 2 bedroom apartment and a modest car. The only person I pay to clean the house or cook is my son, and that's usually things like "if you scramble the eggs for dinner, I'll make those cinnamon rolls you love for dessert".

My kid went to the dreaded daycare. He made several of his closest friends there, kids he still plays with 10 years later, and learned how to create things and tell stories and solve social problems. He knows I love him more than anything and is outgoing and independent. No regrets here.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Why would there be so much disappointment if your DD worked and chose to do so? What if she doesn't want children? *gasp!* !

Or is unable to have them.......

 

[NYEmomma]

In Ohio, if you're a teacher you have to obtain your master's degree within so many years... I *think* it's 5.

Just a little tip to parents of teens who think they might want to go into teaching or DISers who are in college or are going to be in college soon: Don't go straight for your master's degree thinking that it will make you more marketable. The only thing you'll get from it is joblessness. Around here, there aren't many teaching jobs available right now so college advisors will tell you, "why don't you just stick around and earn your master's -- it'll make you stand out ahead of all of the prospective teachers with just a bachelor's degree." But the opposite is actually the case. Why pay a brand new teacher $35,000 when you can pay a brand new teacher $32,000? The master's degree doesn't mean they are any better prepared or have more experience and with budget constraints, they're going to find the cheapest teacher they can.

I learned that lesson the hard way.

 

[marcyinPA]

The classic quote from someone who can afford to live in a small house, drive an older car and be a SAHM. MOST women who work do it to AFFORD the small house, food for the kids, an older car to drive. I had no choice 20+ years ago, and most women I know who have younger kids are in the same boat. You are lucky to be able to stay home. Don't judge other women who cannot afford to.

And despite the fact that my kids spent their days in daycares while my husband and I worked, they turned into well adjusted, productive members of society who we have a great relationship with.

I will go out on a limb to say that this is not what the poster meant. I don't think she was talking about women who HAVE to work to make ends meet. I think she was talking about people who feel that having possessions is important. You know, people who have to keep up with the Jones's. I know a lot of people like that- they could live quite comfortably and still be a SAHP if they wanted to- but they need the name brand, high end, yada yada STUFF.

I don't judge people who work two jobs because they have to, or even because they don't. But it makes me sad when their need for STUFF is greater than their need to be with their kids. I have seen it. I know there are people out there like that.

 

[Planogirl]

Some people want both possessions and can still figure out how to spend time with their kids. I don't think that it's fair to categorize most people too rigidly.

I have a small house and old car and work. I also have a son who went to daycare and is now going to college. We takes trips when we can and do what we have to.

 

[jodifla]

I will go out on a limb to say that this is not what the poster meant. I don't think she was talking about women who HAVE to work to make ends meet. I think she was talking about people who feel that having possessions is important. You know, people who have to keep up with the Jones's. I know a lot of people like that- they could live quite comfortably and still be a SAHP if they wanted to- but they need the name brand, high end, yada yada STUFF.

I don't judge people who work two jobs because they have to, or even because they don't. But it makes me sad when their need for STUFF is greater than their need to be with their kids. I have seen it. I know there are people out there like that.

I'm sure there are those people. But plenty of us who work ENJOY our jobs and we feel our particular work outside the home contributes a great deal to society. And we want to set that example for our children: that adults go to work. They contribute to society, and they make money and pay their bills. They are responsible, active members of the community. And yes, maybe there's a break when a child is young (both me and DH stayed home with our son at various times) but that in general, work means you are productive.

It also allows us not to be plunged into poverty if there's a divorce or death of a spouse. It also allows us to save money for retirement AND college AND go on nice vacations.

It doesn't mean we're living an episode of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, but it does mean that when college time comes, there's a plan to help each child in an appropriate fashion obtain secondary education without burying them in an avalanche of debt.

 

[joviroxx]

DH and I both work. Having us both work has provided our family with wonderful memories and,yes, possessions. We have been able to travel and have amazing family vacations with memories that will last a lifetime. Trips such as yes, DISNEY! Our summer vacations have given us some of the most amazing times as a family.

Having the extra money has given us opportunities to see, learn and experience things that we might not have been able to otherwise. We are lucky enough to have a good size home that is always full of my kids's friends and can host great family parties and meals.

DS has been able to keep up his activities and has met amazing people and places traveling to competitions. DD has been able to continue her dancing. Both sports cost money.

Working will allow us to provide the means to provide them a college education so that they will not need to be "behind the 8 ball" once finished. Getting work and getting out there is tough enough these days without needing to worry about paying back loans and being in debt.

Its not about "keeping up with the Jones". We are not flowing in money here. We aren't even in the famous top 2%, but we manage. I have no issue with SAHM. I wish my DH made enough where I could have stayed home and still be able to do the things we do. I know many families who do sacrifice to be able for the mom to stay home and I admire that as well.

It is whatever works best for your family. But the attitude the children with 2 working parents is somehow less "anything" is just ridiculous. Both SAHM and working moms make sacrifices, just different ones. And both can be just as fulfilling and successful.

 

[mefordis]

Who said that parents had to delay their retirement, or borrow against it? I really think you are saying most of this stuff to get a rise out of people. And depending on a sports scholarship, you are the one that is naive. YOu stated your kids are 10? at least on another thread you did. Long time for injuries to happen. Totally irresponsible to depend on a sports scholarship.

News flash, My parents were depression kids. News flash, my parents paid for us to go to school, and the biggest news flash of all, My dad not only retired EXTREMELY comfortable and left quite a nice sum of money to us, but he retired early. I don't know where you are getting your ideas from, but they are very one sided. I feel for your kids. It is one thing to make sure they appreciate what is given to them, but you seem to enjoy that fact that you want them to struggle. Also, you can't compare education to a home and vacations, the fact that you tried makes me doubt your understanding of anything you are posting. Also, if you really believe that so many kids are moving back home because they can't live like mom and dad and want everything handed to them, then those parents failed those kids LONG before they entered college.

If you can't afford to send them without dipping into your retirement, then by all means don't do that. But to not pay just because you want them to struggle is twisted. I think you are the biggest "contrarian" on the thread. Obviously, you haven't been around the Dis for very long.

 

[castleview]

Very very minimal. We have tried, but we have to survive too. I know their grandparents have saved for them, but who knows how things will be by then. While I plan on going back to work now that my youngest is in school full time, I hope to save some and we do plan to pay for some regardless.

However, the most driven students I knew were putting themselves through school so it doesn't bother me if my kids share some of the financial burden. I had student loans and I'm not bitter.

 

[Pigeon]

I'm sure there are those people. But plenty of us who work ENJOY our jobs and we feel our particular work outside the home contributes a great deal to society. And we want to set that example for our children: that adults go to work. They contribute to society, and they make money and pay their bills. They are responsible, active members of the community. And yes, maybe there's a break when a child is young (both me and DH stayed home with our son at various times) but that in general, work means you are productive.

It also allows us not to be plunged into poverty if there's a divorce or death of a spouse. It also allows us to save money for retirement AND college AND go on nice vacations.

It doesn't mean we're living an episode of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, but it does mean that when college time comes, there's a plan to help each child in an appropriate fashion obtain secondary education without burying them in an avalanche of debt.

Yup. Women with children should not have to apologize for working any more than men with children should. I love my job and in my own small way, I make the world a better place.

I've got nothing against people who choose to be a stay at home parent, but I would not be a good one at all. I would go out of my mind from boredom. I'm a better parent for having a challenging career.

Every study that has been done looking at the outcomes of kids with SAHPs vs. kids with WOHPs who've used daycare basically come out as a wash, provided the quality of care is good, whether it be from stay at home parents or daycare.

We could survive on my husband's salary as a teacher, but just barely. We would not have any savings for retirement, college or anything else. Working has worked out great for me and great for my family.

 

[disykat]

It is whatever works best for your family. But the attitude the children with 2 working parents is somehow less "anything" is just ridiculous. Both SAHM and working moms make sacrifices, just different ones. And both can be just as fulfilling and successful.

Excellent post!

I don't want to "defend" the other poster, because I think she was out of line. However, I do know that a lot of SAHMs get tired of people seeing them as "less" because they "don't work." This post sums it up nicely. If women want to HAVE choices, they need to start supporting (and respecting!) the choices each other make.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I love it. This thread has somehow evolved into another thread about bashing working and/or stay-at-home moms.

 

[NotUrsula]

I love it. This thread has somehow evolved into another thread about bashing working and/or stay-at-home moms.

That's because someone used the magic word: sad. It's a guaranteed trigger --- EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Back to the subject at hand ...

I'm looking hard at every way that my DS can get value for his college dollar. In our situation, one of the best values is actually provided out-of-state, and is a reciprocal enrollment program very few people are aware of. While I certainly won't insist that DS go to school there, he WILL tour campuses and look over the curriculum available, because if it turns our he likes it, it will save us quite a bit. Right now at 15 he is still completely undecided as to what he wants to do.

For those of you whose in-state public tuition rates are high, be sure to look at out-of-state reciprocity programs such as the Academic Common Market and WICHE. However, those are not the only programs: look closely at the state system websites of every state that borders your own, many of them will grant in-state tuition in certain fields to residents of neighboring states.