Is anyone else here protective of "Their" babysitter??

[Grendalynn]

I feel like such a horrible person. But at the same time I am kind of put out by the whole ordeal... DSIL has taken over my babysitter! I guess that is not the best way to put it...

So the point of my ranting and raving ..... We have a family function next week and DSIL and DBIL have gone ahead and asked this sitter to watch their kids!!?? They know we will be at the same family functions that they will be at.... and were planning to get a sitter for our boys!! I am not sure why this burns me so , but it does!!

So here is the scoop:

I have DS7 and DS3 who have the A#1 babysitter in the entire world, or so we think anyway. She goes above and beyond all expectations anyone would have for a sitter. She treats my children like her own, or her own little brothers (as she is only 17). She has sat for us for almost 4 years now but we have known her for 6... and her family for almost 15-20 years. Her Dad was our Art teacher growing up and very invloved in his kids lives. My mom taught her and her 2 brothers... Her Mom is great and I am very secure with her sitting for us. Her Dad is on the rescue and her Mom works at the Emergency and Resuce Traing center. Her mom would stop by and check in on things when the kids were younger. I have always felt secure with our Sitter and am very fortuate to have her. Now she has her liscence and pick DS7 up from Tball and DS3 from preschool twice a week and delivers them to me or brings them home if I have a game to coach or have to work late. We celebrate birthdays and Holidays with this girl for pete sake; she's like my little sister.... She was in the top 10 people we first told when we found out we were pregnant!

Dear SIL on the other hand rarely uses sitters... She is over protective and critical of anyone who watches their kids; or so we feel. Usually her mother is the one to have their girls (one is 4 years and the other is 8 months). "My" Sitter has watched our kids together on ocassion when they were on able to "find" a sitter and we were doing/going to the same things they were. I guess if it were me in the reverse situation, I would at least clearit forst with my SIL or get a different sitter!!?? ((OMG if she ever read this - I would be in trouble )) When SIL called for the sitters cell number late last week, I pretended I didn't know it??!! I had it in my phone and could have retrieved if needed, but didn't........

Please don't flame me - I am just looking to see if others have had a situation or feeling like this or if I need someone to look at my head...!!?? Am I just being a selfish and hormonal Pregnant person??? Thanks again - everyone on this board is so great!

 

[daisyduck123]

I'm sure that I too, would be a little upset if my SIL "hijacked" my babysitter. Maybe she is paying more? Maybe the sitter said "yes" because she didn't think you needed her that night?

 

[karengr]

is there any way she can sit for all kids. i have been in the same situation but i was the sitter and i was more than happy to sit for all the children i was about the same age as your sitter is, ask her she can only say no.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I am sorry that she stole your babysitter but here is another spin on it. Your babysitter seems super qualified and a wonderful girl. I would take it as a compliment that my DSIL would want my sitter so bad especially if she is super overprotective. Take it from someone who is the same way (me!), she is probably stressed out leaving her kids with anyone and finally found someone that she can trust. I know you are upset but couldn't you maybe be more open with her and tell her that you are planning to use her on ABC and maybe she can use her on DEF? This way you both get the best babysitter and everyone is happy! I am sorry this happened for your upcoming event but I would just try to be more open about your plans when it comes to the babysitter. I hope it all works out.

 

[Grendalynn]

I am sorry that she stole your babysitter but here is another spin on it. Your babysitter seems super qualified and a wonderful girl. I would take it as a compliment that my DSIL would want my sitter so bad especially if she is super overprotective. Take it from someone who is the same way (me!), she is probably stressed out leaving her kids with anyone and finally found someone that she can trust. I know you are upset but couldn't you maybe be more open with her and tell her that you are planning to use her on ABC and maybe she can use her on DEF? This way you both get the best babysitter and everyone is happy! I am sorry this happened for your upcoming event but I would just try to be more open about your plans when it comes to the babysitter. I hope it all works out.

All the previous posts are very valid points... And I am sure I am over reacting! I am not really so much mad, more like, "She's mine, I say, Mine!" I can always have a plan B and ask my M&D or sister, or another sitter all together. Maybe I am just jealous..... Pregnancy hormones can make you do weird things... I won't even tell you what I cried about the other day ... Its very embarassing... I am sure many can relate - or so I hope>>>>!!?

 

[mlwear]

I'm a bit tight-lipped about how good our sitter is to others that I know may be looking and usually don't give her name. A good sitter is hard to find and as a mom you want to have someone you can trust and know will do a good job.
We have a son with autism and our sitter is a HS student that has worked with special needs kids since she was in elementary school. She is awesome. She has come over as a mother's- helper twice a week for the last three years. The only family we have around that can watch my son is my sis, but she has an active social life and only offers to baby-sit when it is convenient for her. So, we NEED this sitter. I have told a couple other moms of special needs kids about her, but don't spread the word beyond that. She already babysits a lot. But, there are very few people that will babysit for special needs kids. The back-ups that we have charge $20-$25/hour as they are sp.ed. teachers. It kind of puts going to the movies and dinner out of the question.
I understand your frustration and those pregnancy hormones certainly escalate things.

 

[PA Princess]

I cannot really relate to the sitter situation exactly (never found a really good one, have family in the area who helps us out), BUT I can very much relate to the whole pregnancy hormone thing. There is a famous family story about how I cried (sobbed, is more like it) over pork chops in the grocery store LOL And I am so not a crier in a normal state of being - tend to be very rational, calm, and not overly emotional type person. But man can those pregnancy hormones throw a person out of whack!

 

[mommiepoppins]

I feel like such a horrible person. But at the same time I am kind of put out by the whole ordeal... DSIL has taken over my babysitter! I guess that is not the best way to put it...

So the point of my ranting and raving ..... We have a family function next week and DSIL and DBIL have gone ahead and asked this sitter to watch their kids!!?? They know we will be at the same family functions that they will be at.... and were planning to get a sitter for our boys!! I am not sure why this burns me so , but it does!!

So here is the scoop:

I have DS7 and DS3 who have the A#1 babysitter in the entire world, or so we think anyway. She goes above and beyond all expectations anyone would have for a sitter. She treats my children like her own, or her own little brothers (as she is only 17). She has sat for us for almost 4 years now but we have known her for 6... and her family for almost 15-20 years. Her Dad was our Art teacher growing up and very invloved in his kids lives. My mom taught her and her 2 brothers... Her Mom is great and I am very secure with her sitting for us. Her Dad is on the rescue and her Mom works at the Emergency and Resuce Traing center. Her mom would stop by and check in on things when the kids were younger. I have always felt secure with our Sitter and am very fortuate to have her. Now she has her liscence and pick DS7 up from Tball and DS3 from preschool twice a week and delivers them to me or brings them home if I have a game to coach or have to work late. We celebrate birthdays and Holidays with this girl for pete sake; she's like my little sister.... She was in the top 10 people we first told when we found out we were pregnant!

Dear SIL on the other hand rarely uses sitters... She is over protective and critical of anyone who watches their kids; or so we feel. Usually her mother is the one to have their girls (one is 4 years and the other is 8 months). "My" Sitter has watched our kids together on ocassion when they were on able to "find" a sitter and we were doing/going to the same things they were. I guess if it were me in the reverse situation, I would at least clearit forst with my SIL or get a different sitter!!?? ((OMG if she ever read this - I would be in trouble )) When SIL called for the sitters cell number late last week, I pretended I didn't know it??!! I had it in my phone and could have retrieved if needed, but didn't........

Please don't flame me - I am just looking to see if others have had a situation or feeling like this or if I need someone to look at my head...!!?? Am I just being a selfish and hormonal Pregnant person??? Thanks again - everyone on this board is so great!

I would be mad also

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I am not sure why this burns me so , but it does!!

I've felt your pain.

We had a great neighbor/sitter that I originally "chose" back when my twins were first born. She was only 12, but brought them a gift. I thought, this girl will make a great sitter someday (she was also a very nice girl and came from a good family). So as the kids and she got older, I had her over as a "mother's helper" for a while and spent quite a bit of time teaching her how to be a responsible babysitter. This led to her becoming our primary babysitter throughout high school. My kids and her really loved eachother. Things were good.

Then two other people I knew decided they'd ask her to babysit, too, because they "couldn't find anyone". (From what I could see, they didn't try very hard - it was easier for them to ask her than it was to find and groom someone themselves). Anyway, one friend was at least polite about it, asking me first if we weren't going to have her sit, would we mind if they asked her, etc. Another, though (really, more aquaintance than friend), was sort of underhanded about it. She called this girl to babysit but asked her not to tell me, saying "we'll just keep it between us, OK?". The babysitter felt uncomfortable being put in this position and told me about it. Low...

Good luck, let us know how it works out.

 

[disneymom3]

Yep, I know where you are coming from. I am very tight lipped about my sitter as well. It may be selfish of me, but I know others do it too. In fact I was desperate in the fall to go to this church thing with DH and could NOT find a sitter. I was lamenting about it to a friend and church and she told me that if I didn't tell anyone else, she would give me her sitters phone number, but I had to promise not to use her very often! LOL! She did sit for us and she is great. We hardly ever get to use her though because she is always sitting already for the dates we call at. I think the secret is out of the bag!!