Is an anonymous note ever OK?

[TinkerbellMama]

That principal is a VERY bad liar. Trust me...he read the entire e-mail.

 

[Bojo]

Can't say whether the principal is a liar, or not; but I understand the atrtitude about annonymous (sp?) complaints. If you want to be taken seriously - sign your name.

I can't offer any additional advice except to determine what you hope to accomplish and then decide if the worst fall out that you can imagine will be worth if for both DD's. What does DD1 think about all this?

 

[Daxx]

In my book, anonymous letters aren't worth the paper they're written on and I wouldn't take one seriously. If you have an issue with something/someone, then you need to address it properly and that means being up front about your concerns/issues and don't hide. You should be confident in your beliefs/convictions when you have a problem and not hide behind an anonymous note. If you don't have the confidence to stand up for what you're writing, then don't write it.

 

[MushyMushy]

It sounds to me like you should really let your DD handle it on her own. She has to deal with the consequences and fallout, so she's the best one to make the decision.

I remember all that kind of stuff from my years in band and being a music major in college. Always favoritism and rule bending, always. I would have killed my parents if they'd made waves and caused a fuss and it would have come back on me.

Regarding anonymous letters -- I'm with those who think they're useless. I wouldn't lend an anonymous note any credence unless it was a "hey, check out this kid who seems suicidal" type of thing.

 

[castleview]

I'm in the kill the anonymous letter camp. I don't blame the principal for disgarding it. If you want to ask the choir director why DD didn't make it, I don't see the problem - so long as she is Ok with it.

 

[lulugirl]

What does your Dd think of the situation? Seems like a high school student should be old enough to handle this on their own.
I agree w/ the majority regarding the note.
I don't blame the principal for not taking it seriously, for this scenario an anonymous note just strikes me as childish.

 

[bluefairy13]

That principal is a VERY bad liar. Trust me...he read the entire e-mail.

Good point. His silence is probably speaking volumes.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

I read any anonymous notes and then point out their worth by throwing them in the trash. I don't have time for games.

 

[MM27]

I was in a talented drama program starting in middle school and then in high school it turned into drama as an elective. Everyone tried out for the plays, but I'm sure the teacher had the play cast way before the auditions. We did A Chorus Line one year and those of us that were his main players were called in the summer to meet with him because he was so excited to tell us he had finally gotten the rights to do the play.

Face it, the teacher that is running the program wants to look good and wants their show to be the best it can possibly be. Sometimes that means that the rules are bent. Is is right? I don't know. But your daughter is not the first one that it has happened to. I know that doesn't make her feel better, but maybe this is her opportunity to shine in the choir that she was assigned to.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Well DD is sick of all the drama, here and at school (so many kids coming up to her and telling her how wrong the whole thing is, but no one can do anything about it). She wants to make the best of it and plans on being the best junior in the choir she's in, hoping to make it next year for senior year. However, she does NOT want to take voice lessons from the asst. director, so I'll have to find someone else.
She is getting really good placements in the musical--dancing up front, getting a line or two--which is major for someone without a "name" role. The choreographer pointed at her last night when she was doing wings and said "that's perfect!" which made her day.
I think I'll just drop it. I guess the course book is subjective, and DD is adamant that if I speak up I'll mess up any other opportunities that come up. I just hope these wonderful girls a year behind her don't get all of the leads in the next two musicals. One of her friends who is in the same boat wants to go to show choir camp as an independent student, which can be done, but for $664 DD said what is the point? She dances all year anyhow so what would she learn there she didn't learn at last year's camp? She'd rather work.
BTW the head choir director has been gone all week anyhow-her DD's (she is about 22) apartment burned down in some other city and she's been dealing with that. Unfortunately, some of the other slighted students' parents think that is karma. When it all comes down to it, in 10 years who is going to give a crap if she missed a year of show choir? Will that keep her out of a job? Doubt it. Come on people.
Onward and upward.
Robin M.

 

[Linzybrooke]

As a theatre teacher this is what I recommend.

If your daughter is upset about her placement she needs to handle it with maturity. The best thing she can do, in my opinion, is approach her choir director and ask what she needs to do to improve for next year. This is not a "why didn't I make Elite" conversation, it is a professional conversation where she genuinly asks the question and listens to the directors feedback. Being able to have that conversation will show her maturity, show the director how much she cares about her performance and choir, and give her insight into the workings of the choir. And, I would recommend that she politely tell her friends that it was the directors decision and leave it at that, these things get back to the directors and if yours is one to hold a grudge it isn't something you want him to hear.

Not knowing the program or your daughter it is possible that she didn't have the right style for what the director wanted. The year I graduated HS our choir director retired. The new director wanted a different sound for his elite choir and cut a few of the senior jazz singers to accomplish what he wanted. It wasn't anything personal, it was just what he needed to do to change the sound of the choir to what he wanted it to be. Likewise, sometimes in theatre you have to cut very talented individuals because they don't perform realism as well as they do comedy and satire.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I'm in the kill the anonymous letter camp. I don't blame the principal for disgarding it. If you want to ask the choir director why DD didn't make it, I don't see the problem - so long as she is Ok with it.

Oh, I firmly believe he dismissed it because it was anonymous. But I still think it's a flat-out lie that he didn't even READ it. I mean, really, who would believe that? What kind of a principal would receive a letter and not at least take the time to find out if it warranted further investigation? In this day and age?

Example: He receives an letter which begins, "I am writing this letter anonymously to tell you that some kids are planning a Columbine-style massacre on your campus. I am in fear for my own life if they discover I have written this note, so I cannot sign my name." It goes on to detail what the author knows of the plans, but because it isn't signed, he never bothers to read any of it and the tragedy occurs. Yeah, RIGHT...he just stopped reading at the word, "anonymously", because of his high moral standards. Not buying it. He had no way of knowing, WITHOUT READING THE ENTIRE LETTER, whether it was a serious or frivolous (to him) complaint. If he literally did not read the e-mail because of the first sentence, then he's a crappy administrator. If he did, then he's a liar for claiming he didn't, and is taking the easy way out so he won't have to deal with it OR admit he doesn't think the complaint is valid. That's all I'm sayin'...

And I'm not even saying he SHOULD take an anonymous letter seriously...but he'd be a total idiot not to READ the darn thing and figure out what he was dealing with, first! I don't think he's an idiot. I think he's a liar who didn't want to be bothered with the situation as he felt it was a ridiculous complaint. That's just my opinion, however.

 

[shortbun]

Choir by tryout is tough in high school. We had one and there were always hurt feelings. I'd guess the director is working on having the best performance groups possible. My experience with music teachers is that they are not very flexible when it comes to their decisions. I'd leave it alone. I also think 'following the book' is pretty inflexible so you would be asking for a trade of inflexibility; yours request may be looked at as asking for a performance sacrifice to 'follow the rule.' Musicians would balk at that, I can assure you and you'll cause hard feelings. I'd also bet the whole note was read and your statement has been made.

 

[Tinijocaro]

In my school, once you were in one of the advanced choirs or bands, you were guaranteed a spot in it for the rest of high school, unless you opted to give up your spot or you did something to prove yourself undeserving (ie: not attending concerts, practices, etc). I think it's kind of crappy to kick kids out for no reason.

I don't think your situation is the norm. Once in always in. Most select groups have a yearly audition process, meant to keep the students continually working to improve. I think it's absolutely right to audition each year and take only those who are the best. DH has had parents call him assuming that since their kid was in the select group last year, that they would be in this year. Why would you not give the better players a chance. Often, attitude factors in with ability. If he had a great flute player who continually rolled her eyes during rehearsal, and another equally great player who managed to not roll her eyes, his choice is obvious, regardless of what grade they are in.

DH's students know upfront that they will have to audition each year to keep their spot, and that yes, underclassmen will often get in ahead of them.

 

[SydSim]

OP, I understand what you're saying. It's not that choir placement was based on talent, but that there were guidelines placed for choir selection, and those guidelines weren't followed. If the guidelines weren't set, you probably wouldn't be asking this question. (I too am a stickler for rules - hey, they set the rules, now follow them )
If you had tried to enroll DD in a class without the prerequisite stated in the guidelines, the school would have had every right to say "it's clearly stated in the school guidelines that ....!

That being said, to answer your actual question about anonymous notes, I understand your thinking. I hate to say something that will probably cause trouble for me, now or in the future, just because I'm trying to make sure that things are fair for everyone. We all know that people are vindictive, so while you're trying to state the problem, you also want to protect yourself in case things go wrong. Is it professional, probably not.

 

[Galahad]

As a theatre teacher this is what I recommend.

If your daughter is upset about her placement she needs to handle it with maturity. The best thing she can do, in my opinion, is approach her choir director and ask what she needs to do to improve for next year. This is not a "why didn't I make Elite" conversation, it is a professional conversation where she genuinly asks the question and listens to the directors feedback. Being able to have that conversation will show her maturity, show the director how much she cares about her performance and choir, and give her insight into the workings of the choir. And, I would recommend that she politely tell her friends that it was the directors decision and leave it at that, these things get back to the directors and if yours is one to hold a grudge it isn't something you want him to hear.

I agree. DS is a Senior and the Concertmaster of his School Orchestra. But last year, as a Junior, he was placed behind an incoming Freshman, who played better than him on the auditions. After a few weeks of teenage anger and resentment he decided to take this approach. He asked for advice. He took lessons from multiple teachers other than his regular one. He practices day and night. By second semester he had regained his "seat" from the Freshman. This year, he's topping to group walking away (this is obviously mostly due to what happens senior year, IMO. He's practices all the time because music is his future. The other seniors who have decided to go into science or business or journalism are concentrating their efforts there and paying a lot less attention to music).

Also, as shortbun said, music teachers can be inflexible. They have to be in cases like this. If they even hint that there are ways to change their mind about placement they will spend the entire year fighting seating/placement battles instead of teaching music. There are ways to make it less painful. Have an outside teacher or teachers hear the placement auditions so there can be no hint of favoritism. This works really well and folks do that a lot around here. In the youth orchestra I volunteer for, I do live recordings of all of the seating auditions and while I compile them on CD for the director I rank them according to my opinion. The director gets them with nothing to identify who is who. After she ranks them, she compares her rankings to mine - mulls it over - makes a few adjustments and it's done. Anonymity works really well for this stuff.

 

[barkley]

one thing your dd needs to consider is that when filling a choir a director has to look not only at the individuals but also the group. therefore, a tremendous singer may not get selected because there are several other singers of the same vocal range, some who may not seem as tremendous but because their voices blend better with the limited pickings from the other vocal ranges they get selected (always seems there are tons of sopranos in highschool so it's very competative, not so much among altos). the great disappointment with many female singers in highschool is they can work and work and be very talented, not to get put into a choir whereas since male singers are generaly in short demand-a guy whose not realy interested can audition on a whim, have little experience but because those tenors, baritones and basses are needed-into those elite choirs they go.

as for the criteria for selection, is it possible some of the sophmores may already have 2 years of experience? reason is ask is, it's fairly common in some of the private schools for 8th graders to be bundled into 'highschool' and therefore their early choir experiences qualify as highschool. my dd for example will start highschool in 9th grade, but apparantly the highschool will take, if singers in a particular range are needed-8th graders. dd (currently in 7th) is realy pushing us to let her audition next year because the highschool choir teacher approached her dad and i after hearing her sing a solo at her current school's christmas show (apparantly he has a kid in 2nd or 3rd grade) and remarked that he hoped we would consider letting her audition and participate in the highschool choir begining next year. not sure if we're going to let her do it or not, i recall the time committment when i was in highschool and not sure she's up to that yet. and although it's rare, when i was in college i did have some 'peers' as young as 8th grade in choir with me. this was a local community college with a well thought of director and since the college would take students at that age, he did let them into the evening non audition choir-so that may be an issue as well (if i had a child who wanted to audtion and there was this criteria i would likely point out that a college course was equivilent, or that participation in a highschool level or college level was equivilent).

i feel for your dd-my highschool choir teacher was a tyrant and very prone to favortism. and there was no option to audtion-he simple picked and chose who he wanted in based on one 'audtion' (just running someone through vocal scales and having them site read music) the first year he encountered them. so for the bulk of us it was 'make it or break it' the spring of 9th grade (when he came to the feeder jr. highs)-for others he knew them from the church choir he directed, others were close family friends. i was not one of his 'chosen few' and i found it very telling as to ability and qualifications when later in college and community theatre/choir opportunities with a more equitable audition process-myself and other 'non golden children' were cast easily before and in far more substantial roles than his 'pets'.

your dd may take the track i chose. i went ahead in highschool in the choir i was place in, but i pursued outside choirs as well as community theatre. as a result when i graduated i had a much fuller base of experience than my peers. the added advantage was when it came to auditioning for post highschool choirs and productions i was a proven commodity to directors who had seen me in a variety of productions/under the direction of multiple directors, whereas my peers only base of reference was the 'elete' performance choir under the one director (and honestly, though his choirs were awsome, i learned later that his elete students were at a disadvantage in subsequent auditions because of the perception of many directors in the area that he was such a dictator his students did'nt know how to naturaly perform and were unable to easily adapt to a style where someone was not telling them exactly step for step, note for note what to do ).

btw-when in later years i sat on the board of directors for a community theatre and was privy to the selection process for performers post audition-i heard director after director, choreographer after choreographer look to resume's and opt to select the kid who had worked with multiple directors/instructors over the ones who only worked with one and were in that one's top group every year. their feeling was if a kid had worked with multiple and in that experience had been re-cast by a director in subsequent shows it demonstrated that they could work well under differing styles-whereas with someone who had only, strictly worked with one they had not proven that ability (they were more likely to get cast in a non speaking, non dance core choral or ensamble role to give them a chance to prove themselves-sadly most of them turned down these opportunites because 'i'm too good for that, after all, i'm in performance choir at such and such highschool').

 

[Camicar]

Face it, the teacher that is running the program wants to look good and wants their show to be the best it can possibly be. Sometimes that means that the rules are bent. Is is right?

Here's the thing -- if the chosen ones are actually better, I have no issue (assuming that rules are not being broken), but that is not the case IRL. The problem is that often what happens is that the show is NOT the best it can possibly be because the teacher's pet is not suited for the role/show. But hey s/he is the pet, so it's all good - to the teacher and the pet (and the parents who have spent lots of time and effort sucking up to the teacher).

At the last show the drama teacher of whom I spoke above actually chose a girl who would make Simon Cowell tear his chest hair out, she's so bad. At the actual show, the audience started to laugh when she was singing bec they thought her performance was supposed to be for comedic relief, a joke. It wasn't. But the teacher was very happy and so was her pet. So the fact that the show sucked lemons was irrelevant, right? Because if the teacher was happpy that means she was right. Because teachers are NEVER wrong or show favoritism, right?

And I'm not saying that the OP's dd is the best singer there ever was, but it seems clear that there is some rules breaking going on and that the admin probably tacitly condones that. It's unfair and IMO, totally inappropriate for teachers to screw over students, but what's worse is the way so many people rush to uphold inequity as teaching her a good life lesson about unfairness.

But given that, OP, as I've said before, you are going to get nowhere at school. So I advise you to help your dd find other outlets for her interests and stop beating your heads against the brick wall of school indifference to their own rules.