Irritated about spouses possible inheritance?

[disykat]

SIL and her family recently moved onto dh's family property (beside her parents). They are now the 3rd generation living on it - I think it was purchased in the 50's, so only dh's generation has been there since birth.

They were here this weekend and she was again telling me about how she "never wants the property sold" - a mantra I've heard many times from FIL, but goes on to talk about how dh will inherit half of it. I told her I've told dh that I think she should inherit the property soley, not 50/50 with him, especially now that she was living on the property. She was appalled.

Now I'm sure I've stirred the pot big time. I'll be in trouble for my opinion, as well as daring to have an opinion in the first place.

So, would you consider inheriting property that another family lived on, in a different state, that could never be sold, an asset or a liability?

 

[Microcell]

He should sell her his half.

 

[SplshMtn99]

I wouldn't mind inheriting 1/2. The sibling could always buy out my 1/2.

If I didn't inherit 1/2, I would hope I would inherit something of equal value (another words - not be cut out of the will).

 

[SplshMtn99]

Why should she receive it all?

Would he receive something else or equal or greater value?

You are right. That is how family feuds start.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

He should sell her his half.

ditto

 

[LuvTigger]

Ugh, these family inheritance things always get sticky. I'm irriitated that BF's mother told he and his two brothers what they intend to do with the property because one of his brothers has this "it's mine" mentality now.

Anyhow, I don't get why she's against inheriting it solely when you're fine with it? You'd think she'd be happy! Does she feel it's that important that it be jointly owned forever? Eventually it would become sticky, especially if you have children and she has children too - then who would the house go to? All of them?

If it's something you don't want, but will still be responsible for in terms of paying taxes, etc., it might be more of a liability, even if it's something you can list as an asset in terms of finances.

If she really makes a stink about it, then maybe Microcell's suggestion for him to sell her his half will "put her into place." (Then maybe she'd be happy to be the sole beneficiary of the home!)

 

[canwegosoon]

I already have that problem...my sisters(3 of them) and I all inherited a house in the Hamptons. My grandmother's will states that all must agree to sell or the house goes to the remaining sister. Several of us have wanted to sell, but the one sister that resides in the house can't(or won't), and now our parents think she should be "given" the house....not over my dead body (ok my grandmother already saw to that ). But I am hoping that in the future she will want to sell and I can see some money, but I'm not counting on it.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd consider it a liability unless she was willing to buy out my half if I wanted/needed to sell it someday.

Owning half of a piece of property that someone else lives on that is intended to "stay in the family" forever does nothing for the person who doesn't live on it other than allow them to give their sibling a free ride.

If I were your DH's parents, I'd probaly leave the property to my duaghter and others assets equalling the sam eamount to my son.

I have to tell you, these inheritance things are always messy. Money brings out the worst in people.

 

[Serena]

I'd consider it a liability unless she was willing to buy out my half if I wanted/needed to sell it someday.

Owning half of a piece of property that someone else lives on that is intended to "stay in the family" forever does nothing for the person who doesn't live on it other than allow them to give their sibling a free ride.

If I were your DH's parents, I'd probaly leave the property to my duaghter and others assets equalling the sam eamount to my son.

I have to tell you, these inheritance things are always messy. Money brings out the worst in people.

I agree.

 

[luv2nascar]

he's entitled to his half

 

[disykat]

That's the thing - I'm sure she would have no interest in "buying him out" or neccesary the ability to do it. Nor would my dh want to ask her to cough up that kind of money - basically just to keep her home. I don't know what the rules for giving it to her are or if we could sell it to her for $1. To me, since she is living on the property - they built a house on it - it would make sense for it to be hers. No one cares about even stephen. I'm think we would have taxes etc. to pay - but never any benefit from that property. It is obviously an asset to them since they live on it.

 

[MrsToad]

It is really up to the parents but hopefully, whatever they do, it will be fair to both your SIL and your DH. And, it is certainly okay to have an opinion but does your DH agree with you? Is he okay with you speaking for him to SIL? If he is, great...if not, I'd let him do the "negotiating" on the issue and stay out of it...then, no one can be mad at you .

PS...just saw your last post...it is nice that the topic doesn't seem to be causing antagonistic feelings between SIL and DH...it so often does!

 

[disykat]

I'd consider it a liability unless she was willing to buy out my half if I wanted/needed to sell it someday.

Owning half of a piece of property that someone else lives on that is intended to "stay in the family" forever does nothing for the person who doesn't live on it other than allow them to give their sibling a free ride.

If I were your DH's parents, I'd probaly leave the property to my duaghter and others assets equalling the sam eamount to my son.

I have to tell you, these inheritance things are always messy. Money brings out the worst in people.

That's my opinion - but the family will not be happy that I dared to voice it, I'm sure. They won't want to do it because they won't have assets that equal the same amount. I don't get why "even" is important if "even" causes one to have an asset and one a liability.

 

[canwegosoon]

That I'm think we would have taxes etc. to pay - but never any benefit from that property. It is obviously an asset to them since they live on it.

My sister that does live in our house does pay all the taxes(there is no mortage), she gets the use of the house in return...other wise we would sell it.

 

[disykat]

It is really up to the parents but hopefully, whatever they do, it will be fair to both your SIL and your DH. And, it is certainly okay to have an opinion but does your DH agree with you? Is he okay with you speaking for him to SIL? If he is, great...if not, I'd let him do the "negotiating" on the issue and stay out of it...then, no one can be mad at you .

PS...just saw your last post...it is nice that the topic doesn't seem to be causing antagonistic feelings between SIL and DH...it so often does!

Nope. No one's going to care if there is an uneven inheritance. Truth is that we have more money than they do (or we just manage ours better!) and we'll probably be paying for his parents care before long. Dh doesn't care about any of it, SIL agrees with FIL that it should never be sold - so as long as it's not sold she'll be happy. DH will just take whatever he's given - liability or not - and never say a word. I told dh about our conversation. He wasn't suprised because we've talked about this before. He will never say anything to his family about what he wants, nor will he be asked. It's a pretty hard situation for an opinioned person like me to stay quiet in!

The funny thing is that I've already received one inheritance and dh was all over it - it was definately our money in his eyes. If it was my inheritance that was going to be a liabiltiy, he'd definately be defending himself. But since it's his family, he'll not say a word.

 

[PamOKW]

You are right to think about the problems of owning property that you aren't using. I would consult with a lawyer about the situation and get your husband's feelings as well. It's nice that she doesn't just assume it will all be hers but it may be that works best for you. Maybe your husband would like a vacation home on the property or something like that.

But, if you are owners you will be responsible for taxes, upkeep, etc. It will also count as an asset if you were applying for college loans for your children. Even though you wouldn't liquidate it, they don't take that into consideration.

 

[cgcw]

Now I'm sure I've stirred the pot big time. I'll be in trouble for my opinion, as well as daring to have an opinion in the first place.

So, would you consider inheriting property that another family lived on, in a different state, that could never be sold, an asset or a liability?

I've learned to keep my mouth shut when it comes to my DH's family. First off, because I have NO blood which is the same, they (not my DH) have made it clear that I am not really "family". After all, I wasn't born into their family, I've just been a "part" of it for 20 some years now. Whatever. I feel for you.

Anyway, I would consider it to be a liability and a thorn in our side. I dread the day that something happens to my MIL. I know my SIL & BIL are never going to agree with my DH when it comes to my MIL's property. As it is, they can't agree now and my MIL is alive. When it comes time for disposition of my MIL's assets, I'm sure it's going to be a battle which will make WW2 look mild.

If your DH is okay with his sister having his share, then so be it. I wouldn't worry about it, unless you are not on the same page as your DH. But, I certainly would make legally sure that I (we) had no ties to that property.

 

[disykat]

DH would be fine with his sister getting the whole thing. His parents and sister would not. They would feel they were cheating him - they don't "get" how property that can't be sold and is only utilized by his sister could be seen as a liability. They see it as his heritage. He is afraid to hurt their feelings and is perfectly willing to shoulder any liability - so I'm sure we'll be stuck with it. If it were my inheritance he would feel differently.

 

[Talking Hands]

That's the thing - I'm sure she would have no interest in "buying him out" or neccesary the ability to do it. Nor would my dh want to ask her to cough up that kind of money - basically just to keep her home. I don't know what the rules for giving it to her are or if we could sell it to her for $1. To me, since she is living on the property - they built a house on it - it would make sense for it to be hers. No one cares about even stephen. I'm think we would have taxes etc. to pay - but never any benefit from that property. It is obviously an asset to them since they live on it.

First of all who inheirits what is not your choice. Second taxes are paid from the estate not by you. Last inheiritance is not even something we should expect. It's nice if it happens but not a gimmee

 

[disykat]

First of all who inheirits what is not your choice. Second taxes are paid from the estate not by you. Last inheiritance is not even something we should expect. It's nice if it happens but not a gimmee

Hello? Apparently you think I'm greedy - thanks a lot. I'll add it to my memory bank of my problems with you - I have a long memory, you apparently do as well. Feel free to put me back on your ignore list, I must have come off when you changed your name in 2002.

This land has to be discussed because SIL lives on it. IMO this should have been ironed out before she built her house. It should go to her so she can stay on it. Since the land is the only thing of value in the estate, taxes will be an issue. It would make also sense for dh not to have to pay half of the property taxes on her property for the rest of his life.