Irritated about spouses possible inheritance?

[Talking Hands]

Excuse me. Did I say you are greedy? I just staed facts. If the land it the only part of the estate then most likely it will have to be sold to pay the state taxes and neither one will get the property. Unless one of both are willing to pay the tax to keep the property. Perhaps your inlaws need to consult an estate attorney before it becomes a major problem for all.

 

[Pin Wizard]

My sister that does live in our house does pay all the taxes(there is no mortage), she gets the use of the house in return...other wise we would sell it.

Count me in with this one. You live in the house, you pay the taxes...and most of the upkeep including all the day to day stuff.

 

[Martha7]

When my Mom passed away, we worked out an arrangement that seemed to please everyone. My brother, who lived about an hour away in Southern California, and who wanted to live in the house, took out a mortgage for $175,000 and gave me the money as "my half." The house had been in the family since my Mom was a child, and we all wanted to see it continue in the family. Of course, the house would be worth much more, but it needed a lot of work, which my DB and DSIL were willing to have done, with additional mortgage funds. In the end, our relationship is intact, the family home remains in the family, and I was able to use that money to improve my finances. My DB would have liked me to just give him my half of the house, but as my DH pointed out, why should he get to live without a mortgage? We sure don't have that option! It helped me to see the reality of the situation, which was that my Mom would never have wanted me to have nothing out of her estate. It was all she had to give after living for so many years with very little $.

 

[Regina]

Has an attorney be consulted? My Mom had deeded her house to my sister and myself a number of years ago. She was designated a "tenant for life." She continued to pay the taxes, upkeep, etc. Truthfully, it was done to protect it from being taken by a nursing home should she have needed long term care.

When she passed away the sale of the house was a breeze. No probate, no tax liability, very easy, very simple. Our Accountant was thrilled.

While your situation is different as the property is not to be sold, you may want to encourage your DH to discuss this with his family. All assets are at risk if nursing care is needed. A bit of advance planning could go a long way in making certain that everyone's wishes are met.

 

[antmaril]

He should sell her his half.

I agree. There is no value for your DH if the home can never be sold. Another possibility is paying your DH rent for his half. Figure out what the house would rent for and pay your DH 1/2 of it.

 

[EthansMom]

I already have that problem...my sisters(3 of them) and I all inherited a house in the Hamptons. My grandmother's will states that all must agree to sell or the house goes to the remaining sister. Several of us have wanted to sell, but the one sister that resides in the house can't(or won't), and now our parents think she should be "given" the house....not over my dead body (ok my grandmother already saw to that ). But I am hoping that in the future she will want to sell and I can see some money, but I'm not counting on it.

No wonder your sister won't move -- she's got a deal liviving in a house in the Hampton's for only the taxes. IMO, your sister SHOULD be paying rent of roughly 3/4 rental market value to the other 3 sisters and each of the four sisters should pay 1/4 of the taxes. If your sis is only paying the taxes, then the other three sisters are being deprived of their fair financial interest in the house. You could be renting the house out and making money instead of only having your financial interest sit dormant. Does your grandmother's will say anything about the sisters being able to live in the house? If not, consult a lawyer and either get the sister to move out or get her to pay the other sisters for their fair share of her use of the house.

 

[meandtheguys2]

We decided long ago not to care about fair, etc. I don't care if I inherit anything from either of our parents. Frankly, I am assuming that all of it may very well go for their care, as it should. Assisted care is expensive, nursing homes are expensive, meds are expensive, and people are living longer and needing more and more of these services. I owuldn't stress so much over something that may not come to pass.

 

[live4christp1]

Just wanted to say to you about the land.....please have the family look into all the legal aspects of how the land is willed etc. My grandmother (and her sisters) did the same thing to my dad and his brothers about 99 acres of land......didn't ever want it sold, broken up etc. The willed it to Heirs, meaning the heirs of their parents (brothers, sisters, etc., there were 10). When grandma & grandpa passed away my dad and his brother were solely responsible for the taxes, none of the others offered to help but any time something happened....they had a billboard sign that paid like $100 a year to sit in the field, they all came around for their share.

Back in November of last year dad got served some papers saying some of the heirs (children or grandchildren of the original 10) were sueing to force them to sale the land so that they could have their share of the money. It is still going round and round. My dad is 75, his older brother is now deceased and he alone has been paying the taxes since about 1994, he had to take out a loan in order to hire a lawyer. It is a very messy situation and one I wish he didn't have to deal with. It has caused him a lot of heart ache and distress as he promised his mom he wouldn't sale it.

Having seen several situations like this, I agree with the other posters......I don't expect anything and wouldn't really care if I didn't get anything. It's the people I love.....not their possessions. Nothing my mom or dad could leave me would ever replace them.

 

[chrissyk]

As far as I know, nobody HAS to accept an inheritance. I would not accept an inheritance of land that somebody else would be living on. As the owner of that land, you and your husband will have legal liability if anyone ever becomes injured on the land. I'd refuse the inheritance and/or retitle the property to someone else. I believe that anyone can give anyone else property. If that person doesn't want it, they can retitle it to someone else and so forth.

I do not want my "inheritance" from my crazy family. I have told them as much, but they ignored me when they made up the estate plan/trust. Since they ignored me, DH and I saw a lawyer to see how we could get rid of the inheritance when the time came. It was decided that rather than refusing to claim the inheritance, it would all go to a charity of our choosing upon distribution of the estate. If there is any property titled in more than 1 name, I will immediately give "my" portion to the other person named. I just have no desire to allow material things to link me back to a contentious emotional situation that I am so done with.

My grandparents have willed their house to both my mother and her brother. Those 2 hate each other, and both have mental problems. I can't wait to see how that situation turns out

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Well I won't worry about anything from DH's parents because they don't have much and will have even less eventually with all of their health problems.
I see the OP mentioned that they will probably have to pay for the care of his parents soon--if they have a bunch of land, wouldn't that have to be sold? Perhaps they could parcel off the section the sister lives in and sell the rest?
Of course I realize common sense goes out the window with estate issues--my MIL is still not speaking to one of her siblings because some things she expected from her mother went to other sisters.
Robin M.

 

[Disney Doll]

At the very least, get DH's sister to agree that if she is living in the house and on the land then she will be responsible for all expenses, including taxes etc.

I still see this as a "sticky" situation. What if DSIL is living in the house and someone get sinjured? Is your DH repsonsible too because he is named as a part owner of the house? What if DSIL can't pay taxes or whatever? Do they come after DH?????

Perhaps discussing this with a lawyer specializing in these types of matter sowuld be prudent.

 

[Carolinagirl1063]

My dh stands to get a large inheritance along with his ds. I know that it will not be a pretty sight when his mother passes. Even now while she is living they cannot agree about anything to do with his mom or the property to be inherited. I think his sister is the executor of the estate so she will have more say on what happens. I have tried to talk to them about estate planning(property is worth a lot of money) and about trusts etc.
No one wants to hear it! They fight amongst themselves like cats and dogs, let me or anyone else express an opinion and they will all turn on you and it is not very pretty. I have learned the hard way...stay out of it! The time will come when I can sit back and LAUGH at them and say "I told you so!" Let you dh fight this battle alone...it all goes back a lot farther than you think!

 

[Disney Doll]

Carolina gives you some good advice...let DH fight htis battle,and at some point you'll be able to say "I told you so".

 

[Laurajean1014]

Ahhh, the in-laws/out-laws thing. Sorry, I have a ton of it, myself.

Just nodd and pretend to be interested. Some families are always looking for the "bag guy" - don't be their flunkie!

 

[luvmarypoppins]

We are in the same boat right now and its a mess, so right now I would say its a liability but it will turn into an asset. We have been to 3 lawyers and they say they never saw such a mess before, legally that is. There is 8 acres and 4 houses involved. DH will get 50% and his 2 cousins will get 25% each. Only the male cousin lives on the property now, his other cousin lives in MA and FL and could care less. We have to rent out the 2 houses we own because the one cousin refuses to move at the present. They all have agreed they want to sell the property, but the cousins never do anything to show that, like clean up stuff etc. We are waiting until my dh is ready to retire and then we will force the issue, however it will only be money in the lawyers pocket unfortunately, but its the only way to get the one cousin to sell. Everything we clean up and throw out he goes and takes and saves. We have asked him to get rid of old cars etc. Its not a pretty situation. We hate being landlords right now but we are stuck between the rock and the hard place.

 

[disykat]

See, the problem is we will have money. I will most likely inherit quite a bit of money from my family (and no, I'm not counting on it, I'm not greedy, it's just the way it is). DH's family has no real money except they have land - which they say should never be sold. It is now valuable view property and an expensive tax liability at this point. I've adjusted to the fact that my inheritance may well pay for care for dh's parents in their old age and to pay taxes on this land while they are still living. We are willing to do that. (Though frankly, it bothers my parents and they would feel better if they knew their money wasn't going to be tied to this land forever. I have a legacy to protect as well. Our parents are at the age where this kind of thing is very important to them and they talk about it!)

Now his sister lives on the property - and the part that aggravates me is that we will continually be tied financially to her home. It is interesting to hear you can turn down an inheritance - that may be the way to go. The sister getting a mortgage to buy out her share is also an interesting option, but not really one we want - we don't want the money, we just don't want the liability.

I am not stressing out, I am not greedily waiting for my dh's family to die so I can get my hands on their property. I just wanted opinions about how to get out of inheriting something that will be a liability to us, but needs to be kept in the family as it is an asset to his sister. As I've said, I sort of assumed this had been taken care of when she moved onto the property - so I was very taken aback when SIL mentioned something about us getting 1/2 the land. That was when I said I thought she should inherit all of it. She brought it up - so I'm giving it some thought.

DH's parents didn't even have health insurance until about 9 years ago when I pressured them into it - nothing. We were willing to pay for it for them and I am willing to play the bad guy because as long as I am financially tied to them it affects me as well. They don't think about these kind of things or how they will affect others.

 

[Carolinagirl1063]

Try to get your husband to gently speak with his parents and tell them he would not be offended if they left all of it to his sister since it was her homestead too. If that doesn't work, just deed it over to her when it becomes yours. Unless it is worth tons of money, there shouldn't be any inheritance tax. Just let your DH do the talking, less hurt feelings that way.