Inviting grandparents

[ZPT1022]

Has anyone ever invited a grandparent to come along on a trip? How did it go? How did you set it up? I'd love to hear all the details. Right now we're trying to plan a family trip for April 2008. We're realizing that the twins will actually be tall enough to do lots of the bigger rides this time around, but due to being a family of five, the logistics of that one kind of stink. We thought it might be nice to ask one of the grandmas to come. Our moms are both widowed and in their late 40's/early 50's, so bear in mind that I'm not talking about an 80 year old grandma. We're leaning towards asking MIL. My mom would be more fun for most of the trip, BUT she doesn't do rides. We could get her to the Tiki Room and IASW and the TTA, but nothing more than that. She also might have problems trying to take time off of work to come. MIL is much more flexible in getting time off of work, but she has an issue with needing to invite DH's older sister to everything, whether or not the invitation extended to her or not (the biggest one would telling her it was okay for her to come to an ultrasound I had for the twins ). DH's sister is a total drama queen and I really don't want her there. Also, she just got back from a trip to WDW with her DH's company and is very down on taking younger (like under 9-10 yo) kids to WDW. So I guess part of the issue would be asking her (MIL)to come but gently letting her know our expectations ahead of time.

Soooo.... anyone who has been there, done that....

How was it?

Would you do it again?

How did you ask? We would need to ask her to come but at the same time be clear that the invitation was just for her. This is sticky because we would be asking her to contribute towards her part of the costs.

Did you have any problem with a clash in vacation style? How did you overcome that?

Anything else you care to share- tips, tricks, advice, things I'm not even thinking of?

 

[NemoMOm]

I get along really well with my DIls so, we had a blast. However, all the walking was really hard on them and they are only in their 50's so keep that in mind. They really had a good time with DS. We invited them for this trip and they just informed us they'll be coming for a few days.

 

[ZPT1022]

I get along really well with my DIls so, we had a blast. However, all the walking was really hard on them and they are only in their 50's so keep that in mind. They really had a good time with DS. We invited them for this trip and they just informed us they'll be coming for a few days.

My MIL is an aerobics instructor, so she's in pretty good shape. My mom walks 5 miles every morning and bikes 10 at night with her neighbor, so no worries about the activity level. Heck, either one would probably be dragging DH and I back every night.

I'm glad to hear a positive experience. How did you go about asking them? Did you room together, how did you handle the logistics? We'd probably ask whomever to have oldest DD stay in their room, and the twins would be in our room, so we'd have to find a way to split the cost of the room to be fair. We're you on the same package or did you book separately and just meet up when down there?

 

[Caitsmama]

We go to WDW every year with my inlaws, and share a room! LOL We get along VERY VERY well.. i love them, and they are Disney obsessed! LOL We are also cruising with them this year too!
The last couple of times we also had my mom down there, although she stayed off site, and would just come hang out.. it has still worked out.
The biggest thing i can suggest to you, is just do your thing, if they want "in" on it, then cool, but don't let them alter your plans.

 

[all4fun]

My parents wb joining us for a week of our 12 day stay. We invited them by telling them when our next trip was and thought it would be nice if they could tag along if they wanted. There was never an expectation that we would pay however they have time share points that they can use for accomodations (although that means they are off property). We helped them w/planning ie finding a good deal on a rental car, air fare, and even passes to the parks, but they are paying their own way there and rented a condo thru their own time share. They are going to baby sit ds one night while dh and I have a "date" at CG and watch Wishes while we're there. We are being casual about the whole thing because they don't want to commando thru the park with us (Dad just had knee surgery w/in the last 2mos, Mom has health issues - they would definitely be the types to really benefit from an ECV rental). They do want to spend some time in the parks w/us though, and we have also included them in plans for an Illuminations Cruise and a couple of table service meals. They also want to go to Kennedy Space Ctr on their own so they won't be spending the whole week w/us. This is fine with us. I think it's nice they can find things to do at their own pace and also enjoy time there with us and their grandson.

This will be the 2nd trip w/my parents, and we also had a trip w/my MIL and SIL where we all shared a 2 bedroom condo (off property) and I think the key to going to WDW w/family is to not plan on spending the whole time together. The trip where we were w/MIL & SIL we were off property and only had one rental car so that kind of threw a kink in the "do your own" thing idea. Having two cars instead of one when you can't rely on Disney Transport is a good idea as well.

hth

 

[fireworks fan]

We took a big family trip to WDW this past June. I ended up inviting my parents to come because DH was going to be at a conference most of the week. My parents then invited my brother and his family, so it became a BIG trip We had a great time, and I planned out most of the days, everyone else was just along for the ride We had so much fun that we are going back in December with my DILs, and again I am planning most of the trip. It has worked out well so far...

 

[tlbwriter]

I wouldn't assume your mom won't enjoy WDW just because she doesn't ride the rides. There's so much more to do. At least let her make that decision, rather than making it for her.

Our first trip was with my parents, which means my DH went with his inlaws, and it worked wonderfully. Sometimes I was too pooped to do certain things, so my commando mom took DD. Other times DD needed a break, so my break-lovin' dad took her. IMHO, the most important thing when travelling with anyone outside your nuclear family is to make it clear that you do not have to be attached at the hip - have some group time and some "do your own thing" time.

 

[brandylouwho]

We just returned from a WDW trip with my MIL. Overall it went fine, but I do think making your expectations upfront and clear is important. In our case it was just mom (she is divorced) and it was her first trip anywhere EVER (first time on a plane, heck it was the first tiem she ever got any further away from home than Illinois (we are form Wisconsin), so she was with us 24-7. That got to me (and even DH) a little bit, but it was still worth it. To be honest being with anyone 24-7 for a week straight gets on my nerves. That includes my DH and my 2 kids.

She recently had some medical issues (weakness/steadiness issues from being over medicatedby her doctor ) so we rented a scooter. It was a pain to deal with a scooter, but worth it because she would have never been able to handle the parks without it.

She enjoyed the parks and really enjoyed watching the kids experience the wonder of Disney. She even babysat for a couple of hours so DH and I could do a little shopping without the kiddos (we did not bring her along with the intent of using her as a babysitter).

We did share a room (a 1 bedroom at Old Key West, so it was big enough). But it did make me think harder about inviting others along in the future and what my expectations might be. I really could have used more time away from her. If she wasn't single, it would have been easy to plan time apart, but I could not expect her to go off on her own nor to sit in the room while we had our fun.

 

[ZPT1022]

I wouldn't assume your mom won't enjoy WDW just because she doesn't ride the rides. There's so much more to do. At least let her make that decision, rather than making it for her.

Our first trip was with my parents, which means my DH went with his inlaws, and it worked wonderfully. Sometimes I was too pooped to do certain things, so my commando mom took DD. Other times DD needed a break, so my break-lovin' dad took her. IMHO, the most important thing when travelling with anyone outside your nuclear family is to make it clear that you do not have to be attached at the hip - have some group time and some "do your own thing" time.

I do think that she would enjoy it, but I feel bad that she would be sitting at the end of every ride waiting for us. There's not too much that she would go on. More at WDW than say, Six Flags, but still, there's a lot she won't do. I know it's completely selfish but part of why we want to invite one of them to travel with us is so that on the rides where you pair up, the kids all have an adult to ride with. But I can't see her going on Soarin or Test Track or Star Tours, so things like Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (which my thrill seeking kids would LOVE) would be a no-go. This isn't recent or due to an injury- she's had these preferences ever since I could remember. She'd also have a harder time having the cash flow or time off work to go (they're very particular about time off). It's ironic because otherwise she'd be the one we'd prefer to travel with- she'd have more respect for our wishes about not completely overindulging the kids with material stuff, and she'd be more willing to get up every morning and stick to some kind of schedule. The IL's are notoriously late for everything. I think we'll have to find some way to ask both of them- watch, they'll both come

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I actually bring my mom instead of DH. My daughters are 6 and 7 and couldn't even imagine going to WDW without her. We often take other vacations without my mom, but WDW is different. I have been going since i was 6. I am 35 now and have never been without my mom. I am not sure how it would be without her. We are close, not best friends, but my DD's want her to come too. WDW is not her first choice of vacation but she comes because of DD.
Just the 4 of us go. We share a room at one of the value's (last year we stayed at POR, but are going back to a value next year). My mom is helpful. She doesn't go on alot of rides. She will do the Fantasyland rides, but that's about it. She will usually stay with the backpack or one of DD's if they don't want to go on a ride or will take DD on a different ride. She will stand the line for food or a snack for us while we are on a ride. It works out great . Since I have grown up with her and have done numerous WDW vacations with her, we have the same style of vacationing so that is never an issue. We get up and go. We don't have to wait for each other and we don't get in each others way. She lets me do the planning and she just follows along. She may make a suggestion, but she doesn't complain. She doesn't really care what we do. She will go to any park or water park. She can find something to eat on any restaurant menu. My mom is 57 and in excellent shape so walking is not a problem. Yes we can get on each others nerves, but it works out great. The best part is that she pays for herself and one of DD's. My DD"s will always have the memory of going with their mom and grandmother.
Now going with MIL would be another story. NEVER!!!

 

[LISAVWL]

We've vacationed with either my Mom or my inlaws for the past several trips & I wouldn't have it any other way! We started inviting them when our 3rdDS went for the first time (he was 5 mo old). We thought we'd need the extra hands and since we're DVC owners there's plenty of room.

My inlaws were invited on the first trip and we had a blast! They let me do all the planning (which is almost as much fun as the vacation itself, right??!), with input here and there. We made it very clear to them that they were welcome to tag along with us but if they wanted to do something else they were more than welcome! It worked out great -- my biggest suggestion would be to have all your expectations out before you leave. This way if there are hurt feelings, arguments, hidden agendas it's all out and you can enjoy your vacation instead of working things out once you are there. My Mom, gotta love her, is a different traveler than we are. We had fun but I'd travel with my inlaws any day. My Mom, not so much!

As far as going on all those thrill rides and not splitting up the kids, I'm pretty sure you can fit 3 to a seat on Test Track & BTMR. SM is all single seats. ToT and Soarin' have seating for like 5-6 per row. I've never been on Star Tour so maybe someone else could help out. My point is that you could sit with one and your DH could have the other two -- or vice versa. My kids aren't old enough for those rides but that's how we do it at Disney.

 

[solferino]

We've gone with DH's parents the past 2 trips and they will be joining us for the next one. The first time we asked because FIL had just finished treatment for prostrate cancer and hadn't taken a "real" vacation in years. They own/run a business and the store is open 6 days a week. They work hard.

OMG, it was oh so much fun! FIL and DD were having a contest to see who was going to have the most fun on the trip.

Next go around we asked them to go again, and they did. FIL and DD were thicker than thieves and one of my best memories is the two of them walking through world showcase making up this poem about being hunters in the great north woods (inspired by canada, I think) They still have fun with that one.

They don't really care what we do once we get there, as long as we stay at POFQ and can eat at 50's. Everything else is just go with the flow- they're happy to be there with their favorite (only) grandkid having a great time together.

 

[ZPT1022]

I actually bring my mom instead of DH. My daughters are 6 and 7 and couldn't even imagine going to WDW without her. We often take other vacations without my mom, but WDW is different. I have been going since i was 6. I am 35 now and have never been without my mom. I am not sure how it would be without her. We are close, not best friends, but my DD's want her to come too. WDW is not her first choice of vacation but she comes because of DD.
Just the 4 of us go. We share a room at one of the value's (last year we stayed at POR, but are going back to a value next year). My mom is helpful. She doesn't go on alot of rides. She will do the Fantasyland rides, but that's about it. She will usually stay with the backpack or one of DD's if they don't want to go on a ride or will take DD on a different ride. She will stand the line for food or a snack for us while we are on a ride. It works out great . Since I have grown up with her and have done numerous WDW vacations with her, we have the same style of vacationing so that is never an issue. We get up and go. We don't have to wait for each other and we don't get in each others way. She lets me do the planning and she just follows along. She may make a suggestion, but she doesn't complain. She doesn't really care what we do. She will go to any park or water park. She can find something to eat on any restaurant menu. My mom is 57 and in excellent shape so walking is not a problem. Yes we can get on each others nerves, but it works out great. The best part is that she pays for herself and one of DD's. My DD"s will always have the memory of going with their mom and grandmother.
Now going with MIL would be another story. NEVER!!!

The part that I bolded, I definitely agree with that. That would be the big benefit of going with my mom. She can be up and ready to go with relatively little fuss. We are go-go-go kind of vacationers. I totally got that from her. That would be the big plus of going with her- I know she would be up for early mornings of getting there and doing a lot, then taking it slower in the afternoons and capping off the day with a low key evening. She would be awesome to have for days and/or evenings by the pool. MIL, on the other hand, takes a bit to get ready. Don't know if she'd be cool with the whole breakfast in the room while we get ready thing. I don't know what her WDW style is, they took DH and SIL once when they were kids, that was it. I know what her vacation style is at Cape Cod and if her WDW style is anything like that, we're in trouble. Lazy days of lounging around doing nothing is not what a WDW trip is, at least not to us. But for all I know that could just be Cape Cod and WDW could be a whole different ball of wax. These are the things that it's good to think of now and know to ask them. I don't expect, and don't want, to be joined at the hip with either of them, but I can't imagine either one of them wanting to go off and do stuff alone either.

 

[PaulaSue]

We went with both my parents and Dh's parents (9 of us total). We planned 1 meal (all had the meal plan) and a little park time a day together and the rest of the day by ourselves. Both sets of GPs shared babysiting the girls one night (so they were not outnumbered ) so DH and I could go out and celebrate out 10th anniverary. We all stayed at the same resort onsite.

It worked out well and we are all planning on doing it again in 14 months.

 

[ZPT1022]

We've vacationed with either my Mom or my inlaws for the past several trips & I wouldn't have it any other way! We started inviting them when our 3rdDS went for the first time (he was 5 mo old). We thought we'd need the extra hands and since we're DVC owners there's plenty of room.

My inlaws were invited on the first trip and we had a blast! They let me do all the planning (which is almost as much fun as the vacation itself, right??!), with input here and there. We made it very clear to them that they were welcome to tag along with us but if they wanted to do something else they were more than welcome! It worked out great -- my biggest suggestion would be to have all your expectations out before you leave. This way if there are hurt feelings, arguments, hidden agendas it's all out and you can enjoy your vacation instead of working things out once you are there. My Mom, gotta love her, is a different traveler than we are. We had fun but I'd travel with my inlaws any day. My Mom, not so much!

As far as going on all those thrill rides and not splitting up the kids, I'm pretty sure you can fit 3 to a seat on Test Track & BTMR. SM is all single seats. ToT and Soarin' have seating for like 5-6 per row. I've never been on Star Tour so maybe someone else could help out. My point is that you could sit with one and your DH could have the other two -- or vice versa. My kids aren't old enough for those rides but that's how we do it at Disney.

How did you get that all out? My concern is that there's no way to say things without it coming off rude. Did you just say to them "this is how we do it while we're there, but feel free to do your own thing?" I realize that things won't be exactly the same as they are when we go just the five of us, but there are certain things that really work for us and I wouldn't want to change. Little things, but it's the little things that can really make or break a trip. An example- we've realized that our kids don't enjoy dining out the most. They are good for one, maybe two, meals per day in a sit down restaurant. We do breakfast in the room because it works well for us that they can munch on bagels or cereal while DH and I get ready. Things like that we don't really want to compromise because they work really well. I don't want to come off as completely inflexible though, or make whomever feel unwelcome.

I do realize that some of the thrill rides are more easily managed than others, like Test Track has two rows of three, and Soarin and Star Tours are more of a bench. I just thought it would be easier though to be able to buddy up- one adult per child. That could be me being overly cautious though.

 

[ZPT1022]

We've gone with DH's parents the past 2 trips and they will be joining us for the next one. The first time we asked because FIL had just finished treatment for prostrate cancer and hadn't taken a "real" vacation in years. They own/run a business and the store is open 6 days a week. They work hard.

OMG, it was oh so much fun! FIL and DD were having a contest to see who was going to have the most fun on the trip.

Next go around we asked them to go again, and they did. FIL and DD were thicker than thieves and one of my best memories is the two of them walking through world showcase making up this poem about being hunters in the great north woods (inspired by canada, I think) They still have fun with that one.

They don't really care what we do once we get there, as long as we stay at POFQ and can eat at 50's. Everything else is just go with the flow- they're happy to be there with their favorite (only) grandkid having a great time together.

That's really adorable about your FIL and DD. Those are the kind of memories I'm hoping to make. It would also be nice for them to go and see the pure joy on the kids' faces and realize why we enjoy going back so much

 

[ZPT1022]

We go to WDW every year with my inlaws, and share a room! LOL We get along VERY VERY well.. i love them, and they are Disney obsessed! LOL We are also cruising with them this year too!
The last couple of times we also had my mom down there, although she stayed off site, and would just come hang out.. it has still worked out.
The biggest thing i can suggest to you, is just do your thing, if they want "in" on it, then cool, but don't let them alter your plans.

I don't know that we'd all be in one room, unless we rented DVC points. Probably two connecting rooms and have our oldest bunk with whichever one went. Neither one of ours would fall into the category of Disney obsessed, that honor is just for us

I really appreciate hearing all the positive experiences though- I was afraid I'd get five pages of horror stories and "Don't do it"

 

[momof2n2]

since my dad died, she'd rarely go anywhere if we didn't include her. She is a decent help, too, at points.

MIL - well - we took her to Disney with us before we had kids and we all got along fine. I don't know if she'd want to come with kids. She's a bit preoccupied with, um, herself.

 

[LISAVWL]

How did you get that all out? My concern is that there's no way to say things without it coming off rude. Did you just say to them "this is how we do it while we're there, but feel free to do your own thing?" I realize that things won't be exactly the same as they are when we go just the five of us, but there are certain things that really work for us and I wouldn't want to change. Little things, but it's the little things that can really make or break a trip. An example- we've realized that our kids don't enjoy dining out the most. They are good for one, maybe two, meals per day in a sit down restaurant. We do breakfast in the room because it works well for us that they can munch on bagels or cereal while DH and I get ready. Things like that we don't really want to compromise because they work really well. I don't want to come off as completely inflexible though, or make whomever feel unwelcome.

I do realize that some of the thrill rides are more easily managed than others, like Test Track has two rows of three, and Soarin and Star Tours are more of a bench. I just thought it would be easier though to be able to buddy up- one adult per child. That could be me being overly cautious though.

There's no reason is has to come off as being rude. We simply put it that we'd love for them to be with us the whole time but if they wanted to do something else, we'd understand. We approached it from the perspective that they'd need a break from all of us and that we understood. My youngest kids are small and we spend a lot of time at Magic Kingdom with the occasional night over at Epcot. We also spend a day at AK but for some that's not enough. I didn't want them to feel like they couldn't explore the rest of Disney without hurting our feelings or making us angry. They ended us spending most of the vacation with us but they did venture out on their own a few afternoons while the kids napped and we met up for dinner.

We also eat breakfast in the room and have TS for dinner. Lunch is usually CS or food to go in the room before naps. My inlaws were not offended by our schedule and if they opted to go out for breakfast, we'd just meet them later. It was never a problem. I guess I'm lucky to have such wonderful inlaws!

 

[Becky2005]

Can I just add my 2 cents worth since I didn't see it brought up?

I have not gone with any family members besides my immediate ones.

However, it sounds to me like you *do* want to spend all your time together wtih whoever goes with you, since you want them to be able to buddy up ride with your child. That's going to be really hard to do if they are off doing their own thing and all of a sudden you are at the ride that you want to split up for.

Now, if your MIL is going to turn around and invite SIL -- then it defeats the purpose of you wanting her to come along as those 2 will probably pair up?? You'll still be 1 odd person.

Maybe you could present as something like "We would like you to come along so that each of the kid's have a riding buddy"? I don't really know.

I'm just thinking -- OK...MIL may not be up & ready when you are, so do you go ahead to the parks and then you are still stuck without the extra riding buddy until she shows up OR do you then wait for MIL to get ready and be upset.

Just what I'm getting from reading the thread, it's not so much for them to come along just for a vacation but to come along to be a riding buddy, which is fine, if they are fine with it but they need to know that up front. If you are splitting up and doing different things and then meet back together at certain points, I'm not sure how that will work for what you are wanting.

Just thought I'd throw that out there just as some other way to think of it. I'm not an In-law or Grandma yet but I'd take you up on a riding buddy plan as long as I knew what I was getting in for (except I wouldn't do splash mountain or the teacups -- meanie that I am).