Inviting friend of DS-what to offer?

[tomandrobin]

When we invite a friend of the kids, we pay. If thier parent offers to pay, we will thank them, if not we are fine too.

We rather pay the cost of thier friends to come then have a teenager miserable on the trip. Which in turn makes our trip miserable.

 

[rigsby25]

I think when you invite someone to be your "Guest" You should pay for travel, food and lodging. This is just proper etiquette. If you are not willing to pay for these things than you are asking him to be a travel "companion", which is something entirely different.

The act of "Splitting the bill" or "going Dutch" so to speak is something that came out of the sixties mentality, and unfortunately has stuck around with some people. The act of hosting a guest, at your home, while traveling, or for dinner, and paying for it has been a custom in western society for hundreds of years. I say treat him. (Especially since he is just a kid)

I couldn't agree more! Plus that, you are asking the friend as a means of keeping your own child happy. Its like you are providing the friend for you own child. We pay for our children's friend's airfare, park ticket and food. I want them to feel they are part of our family. I even buy them a few souveniers. I would want our guest to feel like a guest. Yes its expensive, and yes there is a risk that the child will back out. In that case, I would graciously give them the air ticket anyway, since it would be of no use to us. But you are really providing happiness for your own child, you wouldn't ask the friend otherwise. I specifically tell the child's parents that they may bring spending money if they'd like, but that their food, lodging, and park ticket will be taken care of. On the other hand, if the friend asked my child if he could come with us, not the other way around, I would provide a place to stay and a few meals, but expect them to pay their own air fare, park tickets, etc.

 

[WolfpackFan]

I guess if I was inviting the friend, I'd be prepared to pay for everything. I know this happened once with our daughter when she was about that age and the parents paid for everything. Now if the parents were to offer to help with expenses that would be another matter, but I wouldn't ask for it.

 

[vwlvette]

If we invited the child, we cover all costs, including buying cool Disney stuff to take home. I have taken several large family groups to Disney over the years and have always covered all costs, including room charges. 4 years ago it was rooms at the Grand, last year we all stayed at the Poly, & WL, After the trip we bought our VWL contract. This year we are all coming home for the first time!!! cannot wait.

Like others have said up there, you are doing this for your child, not for their friend.

Enjoy your next trip home!
nick

 

[pilferk]

We are thinking of iniviting a friend for our DS 14. We invited another family to go with us that has friends for our DS12 and DD8. We are putting them up at the BCV. But DS14 would be left out so we were thinking of inviting a friend for him. Wondering what others have done as far as expenses. We have o 2BR so the room is not an issue. Airfare is almost $300 (to get on our flight-New Year's). Adding him to the dinng plan would be $273(7 nights) and a PH would be $255. We could afford to pay for it all but I'm not sure if that is the right thing to do either. Any suggestions?

Personally, I'd pick up "room and board"....in other words, the room (which you've already done) and the food. I'd ask his parents to pay the airfare and ticket cost, as well as provide spending money.

If I thought that was a burden on the family I'd certainly be willing to pick up the entire tab. Likely, though, I'd also approach the parents about the idea (probably taking them out to dinner, in the process) before approaching the child....just to make sure everything was "OK" and we had the details worked out, before making any "invitation".

 

[kjbstore]

We are in a similar situation. We are celebrating our 25th anniversary in November and are going for two weeks. Our 15 yo DD is joining us for the first week, and we have invited one of her friends to join us. We have offered to pay for the room (DVC), meal plan, and tickets if they will pay for the airfare and any extras (souveniers, snacks, etc.). We want someone for our DD to hang out with for the week. It's well worth the cost for us to have her happy and occupied with a good friend and at their age, we will be able to let them go off on their own for a couple hours at a time.

 

[3DisneyKids]

I think as long as you make your offer clear, you are ok. For example, if you can't cover the whole thing, just say...

"We'd love to have Joey come along with us on our Disney trip. We can provide the room and ______________."

You just have to spell it out beforehand.

I assume, though, that since this kid is a close friend of your son's, that you know the family fairly well. If that is the case, you might be able to guage what they would be willing (if anything) to contribute to the trip. Or you can just be direct.

For us, I am good friends with all of the parents of my kids' friends, so it would be pretty easy for me to say , "Hey I'd love for Sophie to come with us, but we can't really swing all of the expenses. However, we can definitely cover A,B,and C if you can cover X, Y, and Z." But again, this takes having a solid friendship with the parents.

Just make it very clear what you are offering.

 

[jdvm]

We used to do this a LOT when we lived in Europe. We wouldn't approach one of our daughter's friends unless we were prepared to pay for everything. Almost all of the time, the parents insisted on paying for the airfare. On one occasion, the parents also insisted on paying for the park pass (it was a two week trip). Airfare from Europe can be VERY expensive and I don't have to tell you how expensive par passes can be.

We never took any money for a room or food and we made them call home often on our dime. The kids' always had spending/shopping money but we often helped out with that.
Hope this helps.
John

 

[rocketriter]

The act of "Splitting the bill" or "going Dutch" so to speak is something that came out of the sixties mentality, and unfortunately has stuck around with some people.

Sorry, I won't be guilt-tripped. When we get together with friends we usually go "dutch." It doesn't have to work for you, but it works for us on trip after trip to WDW. We never have problems with people acting like they're entitled to anything, and nobody ever backs out. And it pre-dates the 60's by many years (as do I).

 

[dwelty]

Sorry, I won't be guilt-tripped. When we get together with friends we usually go "dutch." It doesn't have to work for you, but it works for us on trip after trip to WDW. We never have problems with people acting like they're entitled to anything, and nobody ever backs out. And it pre-dates the 60's by many years (as do I).

Going "Dutch" with another couple is fine, inviting a kid (who has no income) to take a trip with your kid is quite another. No one is trying to guilt trip anyone. The OP asked for opinions.