Invitations via Facebook

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

That really has nothing to do with someone sending out a traditional paper invite, I assume you check your mail everyday?

Since he said he only checks his normal mail 3 times a week, I think your assumption is a bit off.

At this point I send out e-vites to all the people I know who have switched over to the electronic age and send out paper invitations to the people who have not (such as my grandmother). Fortunately most people I know are on the computer daily so I don't have to waste too much paper.

 

[the7thAve]

I don't use facebook for a reason. To put it simply, it gets on my nerves. If I am close enough to someone who wants to invite me to something, they have my phone number and/or mailing address, they can just use that. And if they are too "busy" (i.e. lazy) to do that, then I probably don't want to go to their party anyway.

 

[MerMom60_94]

I can think of several reasons I prefer electronic invites for casual occassions:

1. They are as easy as a click to respond to. I hate getting on the phone and oftentime I have time to respond at 6 a.m. I'm pretty sure nobody wants me to call them at 6 a.m. to tell them I'll be at their little get together!

2. They are more ecologically friendly than paper.

3. It's expensive to mail invitations nowadays. The cost of a postage stamp alone will set you back. If it's a simple, casual get together it doesn't warrant the cost.

4. I lose paper invitations. Electronic invitations give me something I can easily refer back to for details.

5. I can see who else is invited and what their responses are. That way I can look forward to seeing people I haven't seen in awhile, or whatever.

I have mixed feelings on formal invites, such as a wedding. All of the above still apply and that makes me think they're a good thing. I love seeing the pretty invitations, though, and I love the formality of receiving one so that makes me prefer paper.

 

[Abbie]

This is a new one to me. In the past week I have received two "invitations" via Facebook for home sales parties... one is a local acquaintance who is having a Tupperware party and the other is a friend from high school (who I haven't seen in 20 years) who is having a Pampered Chef party. She lives 200 miles away from me!

Call me hopelessly old-fashioned but I am a bit put off by these impersonal electronic invitations. There weren't even individualized notes included in the Facebook private messages. It appears that the senders just composed one note and sent it off to their entire Friends list.

Then there are the follow up messages reminding their lists to RSVP. I am a BIG believer in RSVPing but my goodness! Am I really under some social obligation when I was invited via Facebook by an acquaintance 200 miles away to come buy things at her house?

Help me navigate the new electronic etiquette!

To get back to the original question, no I don't think you are under any obligation to rsvp to these "parties". Then again, I haven't attended or rsvp'd to any purchasing "party" in about 20 years! I just got tired one day of having people I barely knew (friend of a friend kind of thing) sending me these postcards inviting me to part with my money and just decided I wasn't going to attend any more OR respond, so I just chuck the invite into the trash. Still have plenty of friends so I guess it hasn't hurt me in that way.

As far as the debate of new vs. old, I think people will always have a preference one way or another. I will always prefer getting an invite to a real party or wedding in the mail and have that fun of opening the envelope and pinning the invite on the bulletin board. Same with an electronic book reader.....there's just something about holding a good book that I couldn't replace with a kindle. Different strokes and all that.

 

[minnie56]

I hate Facebook invites..I think they are just plain tacky. If you really want me to come to something, call me or send a proper invitation

 

[bicker]

Again, you haven't read the entire sentence in messages you replied to. Regarding what you wrote about my earlier message ...

Yes, I did read your response and the fact that you personally check your email or FB multiple times a day really has no bearing on whether or not sending an invite via that way to you is the only choice, you still check your snail mail.

... you have now twice read only the first half of the sentence, "I check my email and Facebook about 3x per day...", missing the second half of the sentence where I wrote, "we check the mail maybe 3x per week".

Regarding what you wrote about my latter message....

I find it strange bicker that you of all people would be offended at all by something so trivial, like how people feel about how their invite arrives.

Now apparently are only recognizing the summary of the point I made, "I find that offensive," without acknowledging that what I found offensive was, "folks who hold to the old way perspective aren't respecting the new way perspective as much as we folks with the new way perspective respect the old way perspective". The point of what I wrote was that the offense I'm highlighting has to deal with how people regard others (presumably friends) who choose to use electronic communications, rather than how those folks personally feel about how they would prefer to receive invitations.

However, now that you've raised that issue: If you have an email address, and/or a Facebook account, then you're joining the 21st Century. Expect that increasingly folks will therefore reasonably expect you to use these communications mechanisms. And most importantly: Don't blame them when they do so.

A few other notes:

True, but the host doesn't always think to do this, like in the case of the party we missed.

Then it is that that is an error on the part of the host -- not using electronic communications in the first place.

I never said that inviting someone via snail mail was the only way to do it.

And I never said that inviting someone via email was the only way to do it, but yet you saw fit to assert that, "Just because one can use technology to do someting doesn't mean its always the right choice."

 

[LilyWDW]

I agree with Bicker...

Technology is moving forward where so much more can and is being done online, through email, or through social networks. Technology has always moved forward and some people have always resented and fought the change. Just because it is new doesn't mean it is bad or worse then how it used to be done.

If you are going to be so picky about the type of invite, then you must not be that good of a friend to the person who invited you. If that is the case, then maybe it is a good thing you wouldn't go. Hopefully other people didn't judge the host and they will all have a wonderful time.

 

[bicker]

Same with an electronic book reader.....there's just something about holding a good book that I couldn't replace with a kindle. Different strokes and all that.

Yes, good analogy, but it should be noted that the reason why there are "different strokes and all that..." is because there are benefits of the alternative (parallel to the benefit of the traditional that you highlighted) that some people value more highly. For example, with a regular book, you can't just tap twice on the paper and have a new word defined for you. That's analogous to online invitations containing ics files, which automatically place the party and all the details into your personal calendar.

 

[luvmy3]

Again, you haven't read the entire sentence in messages you replied to. Regarding what you wrote about my earlier message ... ... you have now twice read only the first half of the sentence, "I check my email and Facebook about 3x per day...", missing the second half of the sentence where I wrote, "we check the mail maybe 3x per week".

Well Bicker if you had read what I wrote you would see that I said that you still check your snail mail, which is true.

Regarding what you wrote about my latter message.... Now apparently are only recognizing the summary of the point I made, "I find that offensive," without acknowledging that what I found offensive was, "folks who hold to the old way perspective aren't respecting the new way perspective as much as we folks with the new way perspective respect the old way perspective". The point of what I wrote was that the offense I'm highlighting has to deal with how people regard others (presumably friends) who choose to use electronic communications, rather than how those folks personally feel about how they would prefer to receive invitations.

Actually I'm surprised that you find any of it offensive.

However, now that you've raised that issue: If you have an email address, and/or a Facebook account, then you're joining the 21st Century. Expect that increasingly folks will therefore reasonably expect you to use these communications mechanisms. And most importantly: Don't blame them when they do so.

Again, I don't blame them for anything, my only issue is that you can't expect everyone on your guest list to constantly check their FB or their email for things like a formal invitation. The fact that I have an email address or FB isn't a reason to assume that is the only way to communicate with me.

A few other notes:Then it is that that is an error on the part of the host -- not using electronic communications in the first place.

And I never said that inviting someone via email was the only way to do it, but yet you saw fit to assert that, "Just because one can use technology to do someting doesn't mean its always the right choice."

You left out where I said that was MY own opinion. Which is no more wrong than the one you have

 

[SaraJayne]

I hate Facebook invites..I think they are just plain tacky. If you really want me to come to something, call me or send a proper invitation

It is a proper invitation.

 

[bicker]

Again, I don't blame them for anything, my only issue is that you can't expect everyone on your guest list to constantly check their FB or their email for things like a formal invitation.

Ridiculous.... What are we talking about here? A Friday night dinner party for which the invites went out on Thursday afternoon? If so, then y'know what -- if your friend sends you an invite that late, then the US mail invite wouldn't have gotten to you in time anyway.

If you're talking about a formal party, called weeks in advance, then surely if you have an email account or FB account, then it is reasonable to expect you to check it at least once every few days. And that's still just as fast as a paper invite would get to you.

So no matter how you slice it, electronic communications wins, imho.

The fact that I have an email address or FB isn't a reason to assume that is the only way to communicate with me.

The fact that I have a mailing address isn't a reason to assume that it is a valid way of communicating with me. (And don't get me started that that instrument of the devil, the telephone.)

I was forced to have a street address, and mail delivery. I throw away the vast majority of what ends up in that mailbox. I'm in there looking specifically for the few bills that don't do electronic delivery and official government notices. Other than that, don't expect that I'll open or read anything. That channel has been so badly polluted by junk mail and other crap that I really wish it would just go away. I'm serious about that. [According to at least one second cousin, I've actually thrown away a Bat Mitzvah invitation. It probably looked like an invitation to some design center or maybe a new spa. Who knows. Doesn't matter.]

[Incidentally, I did RSVP via email.]

Now I recognize that I'm on the leading edge of things. However, I don't apologize one bit for being out in front, and more importantly, I don't brook with anyone expecting me to lag behind because they don't like change. If that rubs you the wrong way, then perhaps you don't want to invite me to your dinner parties. That's okay. I think I'd rather go to dinner parties given by people who rely on electronic communications. We probably are more likely to have similar interests and values.

 

[ZachnElli]

The only problem I have with them is I'm getting invites for some of my dh's relatives I don't know. I friended his cousin who I do know and she invites me to a baby shower for another relative that I've never met and is several states away. So it's a gift grab, imo.

 

[LilyWDW]

The only problem I have with them is I'm getting invites for some of my dh's relatives I don't know. I friended his cousin who I do know and she invites me to a baby shower for another relative that I've never met and is several states away. So it's a gift grab, imo.

Maybe, but that's why they have the option to click no. Takes just a second to do and you don't have to deal with either sending a reply card back or trying to explain yourself on the phone!

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

To get back to the original question, no I don't think you are under any obligation to rsvp to these "parties".

Obligation? Eh...

But in the time it took to compose the OP, you could have just clicked the "no" button...

 

[Scurvy]

This is a new one to me. In the past week I have received two "invitations" via Facebook for home sales parties... one is a local acquaintance who is having a Tupperware party and the other is a friend from high school (who I haven't seen in 20 years) who is having a Pampered Chef party. She lives 200 miles away from me!

Call me hopelessly old-fashioned but I am a bit put off by these impersonal electronic invitations. There weren't even individualized notes included in the Facebook private messages. It appears that the senders just composed one note and sent it off to their entire Friends list.

Then there are the follow up messages reminding their lists to RSVP. I am a BIG believer in RSVPing but my goodness! Am I really under some social obligation when I was invited via Facebook by an acquaintance 200 miles away to come buy things at her house?

Help me navigate the new electronic etiquette!

I think an e-vite is no different from any other invitation, in terms of whether you should RSVP to it. However the invitation is extended, the polite thing to do is to respond. It's still a "real" invitation, just in a different form than what most of us are used to. The fact that it's electronic invitation shouldn't make any difference at all.

However, the type of events they are does make a difference to me. I don't think these are "real" parties, so I don't think you are obligated to RSVP as you would to an invitation to an actual party. These aren't invitations, they are solicitations. These people are trying to sell you something. You don't have to respond to that if you don't want to. Since it's an e-vite, though, and it just takes one click to decline, I would do that.

 

[Sarah <3 Disney]

I agree with Bicker.

I don't see the problem with electronic wedding invites, either. People spend so much money on paper wedding invitations... and it's a waste of resources. 99% of people are going to throw them out and do we really care about that stupid little piece of tissue paper? What's the point?

I would not mind an e-vite to a wedding at all if it actually looked like a real invitation. Ya know, design a pretty little digital version of what your paper invite would have looked like. I would have been totally fine with that. You are still saving paper, but at least you put some thought and effort into it if you actually designed a little something.

A small block of text just seems so impersonal to me.

 

[MinnieMe87]

Using facebook or evite.com has become a more common way of inviting guests to events. I find I receive them more for home parties such as the ones you mentioned than traditional birthday parties etc.
I myself don't find them impersonal but rather convenient, cost effective, and timesaving for the host.
I treat them like I would any other invite by responding yes or no in a timely manner.

 

[lg3]

I find facebook invites rude and intrusive - simply awful. Plus, what if all the people you want to invite are not on Facebook? It is very rude.

 

[Scurvy]

I find facebook invites rude and intrusive - simply awful. Plus, what if all the people you want to invite are not on Facebook? It is very rude.

I would think that if someone wanted to invite somebody who wasn't on Facebook, then they would contact that person some other way.

What makes Facebook invitations more intrusive than invitations sent through the mail?