International Adoptions

[CEDmom]

Thanks so much for all the replies! Everyone has had such good stories, it is so uplifting.

Has anyone heard of Orson Mozes Adoption International Program, Inc.?

Thanks again!

I haven't but that doesn't mean they aren't ok. Personally though I'd go with a well established agency with years of experience. Besides Holt, I'd recommend Spence Chapin. International adoption laws can and do change. You really want to know that the people working on your behalf are up to date on all procedures and are well respected in the countries where they're working. We know a family that went with the agency that had the cheapest fees and although all worked out in the end there were many headaches.

 

[POB14]

We know a family that went with the agency that had the cheapest fees and although all worked out in the end there were many headaches.

One thing about this, and I think CEDmom used Holt as well, so she will back me up on this -- be VERY careful to look at what the fees include and what they do not. Many people think Holt's fees are high, but some people from other agencies have had to take $3,000 in cash, specifically brand new $100 bills, with them to China for orphanage fees. Holt charges you this fee up-front and wires the money to China, so you aren't walking around with huge amounts of cash taped to embarrassing areas of your body .

 

[happybratpack]

One thing about this, and I think CEDmom used Holt as well, so she will back me up on this -- be VERY careful to look at what the fees include and what they do not. Many people think Holt's fees are high, but some people from other agencies have had to take $3,000 in cash, specifically brand new $100 bills, with them to China for orphanage fees. Holt charges you this fee up-front and wires the money to China, so you aren't walking around with huge amounts of cash taped to embarrassing areas of your body .

I def agree with this. My agency doesn't do this so I have to carry the $3,000 (the orphanage donation) plus some misc fees in brand new US bills. I admit it makes me nervous and will have it split between my under clothes money holders I bought. It would make it a lot less stressful to have someone like one of the big agencies handle it. I figure if someone is willing to stick their hands all the way down my pants they must really want it.

 

[POB14]

What IS taking me FOREVER is the damn I-171H from the Dallas office. I'm in my 7th week of waiting and about to jerk my hair out.

I-171H's are generated by a troll who lives under the third desk from the left at the front office inside the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and he types them on an old Underwood with his left foot only on alternate odd-numbered Thursdays in months with an "R" in them, then sends them by Intergalactic Pony Express.

What I'm saying is, yours will be along any day now.

 

[POB14]

I figure if someone is willing to stick their hands all the way down my pants they must really want it.

Tag Fairy, are you listening???

By the way, Lillian SunYing is absolutely gorgeous, and she looks like she'll be a firebrand like mine are. A belated Gong Hei Fat Choi to you!

 

[CEDmom]

One thing about this, and I think CEDmom used Holt as well, so she will back me up on this -- be VERY careful to look at what the fees include and what they do not. Many people think Holt's fees are high, but some people from other agencies have had to take $3,000 in cash, specifically brand new $100 bills, with them to China for orphanage fees. Holt charges you this fee up-front and wires the money to China, so you aren't walking around with huge amounts of cash taped to embarrassing areas of your body .

You're absolutely right about that. It was just 1 reason we chose Holt over a few other agencies. I think cash is needed in Russia though.

 

[lemondog]

Congrats on your decision to adopt! Our 4yo was adopted from Russia when she was 6 months old. We left for Russia four years ago THIS WEEK (gosh, time flies) so a lot of my info will be outdated, but FWIW...

*How did you go about finding a reputable agency to work with? - Mainly word of mouth. I did some research on the internet but I trusted most the people I knew

*How long did it take to do the homestudy and other paperwork? About a month

*When did you first see pictures/meet your child? - Not sure what you mean. We filled out our initial paperwork with our agency in early June. Went on the waiting list in August. Got our referral on Dec. 18th. Traveled to pick her up 5 weeks later.

*How long did you have to be in the country you adopted your child from? One trip of 11 days. We were one of the last families who adopted under the old 1-trip system. Also we adopted from a very adoption-friendly region that almost always waives the 10-day wait.

*How did the child adapt to living in your house and learning English? N/A Because she was only 6 months old, and developmentally more like a 3-month old, we had no adjustment/language issues.

Today my DD is a happy, healthy preschooler. She is smart, funny and mature for her age. She will be 5 in July and begin Kindergarten in the fall. There are many other issues related to toddler/preschooler adoption that I just don't have experience with, but a couple of resources I would recommend are

www.eeadopt.org (great mailing lists you can subscribe to)
www.frua.org (if you can wade thru all the drama on the message boards there is actually some very useful info)

Good luck!

 

[RUDisney]

We strapped $10K to our bodies when we went to Russia. They won't use banks over there because they're owned by the mafia and close at the mafia's whim.

We didn't need that much, but DH didn't want to be found short of money that we might need.

As for learning English, our kids went from fluent Russian to fluent English in 3-months. I studied Russian for 7-mnoths before we left and I could tell them to come here, I love you and that they were a beautiful girl and boy. It's a lot different learning a language when you're 5 than when you're 35.

For anyone going to Russia, I have a list of things that are "must haves" for when you're there. I'm happy to share it with anyone who PMs me.

 

[palmtreegirl]

Good luck with the process and congrats!

 

[happybratpack]

I-171H's are generated by a troll who lives under the third desk from the left at the front office inside the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and he types them on an old Underwood with his left foot only on alternate odd-numbered Thursdays in months with an "R" in them, then sends them by Intergalactic Pony Express.

What I'm saying is, yours will be along any day now.

OMG, I spit all over when I read this - that's SOOOOOOOO true.

 

[scubamouse]

I haven't but that doesn't mean they aren't ok. Personally though I'd go with a well established agency with years of experience. Besides Holt, I'd recommend Spence Chapin. International adoption laws can and do change. You really want to know that the people working on your behalf are up to date on all procedures and are well respected in the countries where they're working. We know a family that went with the agency that had the cheapest fees and although all worked out in the end there were many headaches.

Did you use Spence-Chapin? We didn't and you're right that they're huge and well established. I've just heard from A LOT of APs that they treat prospective parents like children and tell them how and when and where to adopt from. Some people love that but I wanted to be given credit for having made my own decisions. They have a great reputation but their style is VERY different from most agencies.

No first-hand experience with them other than an info session but I'd be curious if someone here used them and had a different view.

ETA - I've loved this thread because it's great to know there are so many other adoptive parents here!

 

[cynsaun]

Thank you SO much everyone! You are all such a wonderful sounding board for all this! Let me just say, I do not want money strapped to my unmentionables! Yikes!

 

[CEDmom]

Did you use Spence-Chapin? We didn't and you're right that they're huge and well established. I've just heard from A LOT of APs that they treat prospective parents like children and tell them how and when and where to adopt from. Some people love that but I wanted to be given credit for having made my own decisions. They have a great reputation but their style is VERY different from most agencies.

No first-hand experience with them other than an info session but I'd be curious if someone here used them and had a different view.

ETA - I've loved this thread because it's great to know there are so many other adoptive parents here!

No, we used Holt but friends of ours used Spence Chapin for both of their adoptions (Korea & China). I did hear what you're talking about from them. There was a lot of "you will come into our offices in Manhattan at 2pm next Wednesday". Flexibility was not one of their strong points. But they've been in the adoption business for something like 100 years and do have a wonderful reputation.

 

[kdibattista]

Good luck!!! We are in the process of adopting from Kazakhstan and are using World Partners (www.worldpartnersadoption.org). They have been wonderful. Please keep us updated http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=928459&highlight=adoption+updates

P.S. I recently came across this story on our agency's website and thought you might enjoy.

Making a Difference

A well known author was vacationing on a beautiful coast. One morning, very early, he was walking along the beach.

In the distance he saw a lone figure dancing. Fascinated by this celebration of the dawn, he moved closer.

It was then he realized that the young man was not dancing, but was picking objects up from the beach and tossing them out into the sea with a graceful movement.

As he approached the young man, he saw that he was throwing starfish. "Why in the world are you throwing starfish into the water?" he asked.

"If the starfish are still on the beach when the tide goes out and the sun rises higher in the sky, they will die," replied the young man as he continued tossing them out to sea.

"That's ridiculous! There are thousands of miles of beach and millions of starfish. You can't really believe that what you're doing could possibly make a difference?" the observer countered.

The young man picked up another star fish, paused thoughtfully and remarked as he tossed it out into the waves, "It makes a difference to this one."

 

[vettechick99]

Congrats on your decision to adopt! You'll be a wonderful mother. :

I don't have much information for you except that my sister adopted a boy from Kazakstan 3 years ago and he's doing wonderfully! He's smart, cute and caught on to the English language and American lifestyle very quickly. The process to adopt him was long and expensive (over $20K I believe), but of course worth every penny.

Good luck!

 

[Dan Murphy]

No ideas or things to add, but as an adoptive dad here, my very best wishes to you guys, and all who are considering or in the process of adoptions.

 

[scarlett873]

OMG...that troll thing typing up the I-171H cracked me up...I totally have this image of the troll with our I-171H's now...lol

We're adopting from China...and we've chosen to use Great Wall China Adoptions. They also collect the agency fees up front and wire them to China so that we don't have to tape unusually large amounts of cash to our unmentionables...lol

I'm nervous as heck about spending 2 weeks in China as it is. I couldn't imagine going to such a foreign country with oodles of cash strapped to myself...that would just send me over the edge...geesh...I worry about carrying around cash when we go to WDW!

 

[RUDisney]

I'm nervous as heck about spending 2 weeks in China as it is. I couldn't imagine going to such a foreign country with oodles of cash strapped to myself...that would just send me over the edge...geesh...I worry about carrying around cash when we go to WDW!

When you land in China, the moment will be surreal. For us, I always wanted to go to Russia. I just never thought we'd bring kids home as our "souveniers." So, landing was unbelievable! I turned to DH and said, "can you believe that we're actually in Russia!?!"

Since, you probably have never considered China as a vacation destination, I'm guessing that your landing will be the same, "can you believe that we're actually in China!?!"

We know that we want to go back to Russia some day to tour the things that we saw and what we didn't see, namely the Bolshoi Theatre and the museums in Moscow, and we'd love to see St. Petersburg. I hope that when you are home, you will feel the same way about the time you spent there and that you want to go back.

And, you don't really strap money all over, you use money belts and necklaces, for lack of a better term for them. No one's saying that you'll have a $1,000 maxi pad on. Sorry if that offended anyone. I just thought it was a funny image.

 

[POB14]

When you land in China, the moment will be surreal.

Amen to that. My brother had served in Vietnam, not a good experience on any level for the whole family, and when I saw those brown uniforms with the little red stars on the caps at the airport -- well, "surreal" doesn't begin to say it!

We had just a little twinge of the Ugly American disease -- you know, where the food is different, the language is different, the culture is different, and "CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST RUN AN EPISODE OF "FRIENDS" ON YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR CABLE TV ALREADY!!" But it passes quickly. Keep your eye on the prize (the child) and it's over before you can believe it, and you start talking about when the kids will be old enough to take back, and "WHY CAN'T I FIND A DECENT KUNG FU MOVIE ON THIS LOUSY INSIGHT CABLE ANYWAY??"

Yeah, I watch too much TV. <<< Fonzie.

 

[scarlett873]

You guys crack me up!!