Hope these make you feel a little less alone in your hurt feelings:
My dad's stepmom had alot of money especially after my grandfather died. Growing up they had nice things, homes, vacations, cars (left an actual "inheritance" to her biological children but none to my dad and his sisters even though most of it was their dad's family money). My mom grew up pretty poor so she was never "good enough" in the step mother's eyes. When I was a kid, my dad's stepmom would visit randomly and one Christmas she brought gifts. Something very nice and expensive for my dad, something very weird and age inappropriate for me and my brother and my mom got a brown paper bag full of stuff from a drawer at her house where she kept things like matchbooks from restaurants and pens from businesses. My mom told us later that that was standard behavior from her. SO BIZZARE!!!!!!!
Every Christmas my MIL and FIL spend $25 on each family member. Not a penny more. So if they see something that they know the recipient would really love and it costs $26.95.......no dice. So needless to say we usually get $25.00 GCs to Walmart. Now they are on fixed income and they have alot of people that they by for so I do not begrudge them. Everybody has a budget and a gift is just that, a gift. But in return they expect a gift card to Wal-Mart for the exact same amount. Every Christmas for years I would try to get creative without spending so much that they would be uncomfortable. She loves to bake and always makes a cake when people visit so the last year that i actually tried to be thoughtful I got her a beautiful crystal cake plate and server. She was visably disapointed as usual and the following year came out and asked me to please get her the Wal Mart gift card!! One year she shocked me and bought me earrings and then proceeded to tell me how she found them on sale for only $3.00.
The same is true for birthdays. They send us all a card with $25.00 and when their birthdays roll around they call my husband and hint around about when will he be mailing their $25.00. When we first got married I was appalled!! I would rather have a nice card and no gift or a family meal than to be trapped in this weird $25.00 exchange program we have going but that is what they do and all of my efforts to change that have been taken as an offence.
My DH's oldest DD lived with her mom all through high school. Her dad raised her and her sister pretty much on his own after the divorce. Once she got to high school, she was getting in trouble at school and the house was a war zone between her and her sister so she moved in with her mom so she could change schools. But her dad and I still financially supported her. I would say about 90%. (Her mom has never had a problem making her pay her own way from the time she was 14 to this day. Even things as small as a drivethrough trip to McDonalds she was expected to pay for herself.) For DD's birthday and for Christmas every year we buy her (and now days her husband as well) nice gifts and spend quite a bit of money. Yet every Christmas, she buys gifts for everyone except us. She buys something for her mom, her stepdad, her step sister, her friends, her co-workers but nothing for me and nothing for her dad. And you can forget about our birthdays. Sometimes she remembers to get something for her three sisters on this side but not often. And while I don't really care about me, it bothers me that she doesn't get her dad anything. Ever. Not for Christmas, not for his birthday, he gets a card for father's day usually. What's even worse is during Christmas and around mother's day and her mom's birthday and even around father's day she will tell me about all the gifts she has bought for her mom and her stepdad etc. Then she will usually say something along the lines of "I would get Dad something but he doesn't like me to spend money on him." This year for father's day they were at our house and she gave him a card. I stopped at Academy to get him something he had been wanting and hinted that she could get him a GC and she ignored me. When we got to the car, she reitterated the "Dad doesn't like me spending money" and this is after a weekend of taking them out around town and out to eat and outfitting their entire nursury. I never learn but I still think it is SO RUDE!!!!!
My dad's stepmom had alot of money especially after my grandfather died. Growing up they had nice things, homes, vacations, cars (left an actual "inheritance" to her biological children but none to my dad and his sisters even though most of it was their dad's family money). My mom grew up pretty poor so she was never "good enough" in the step mother's eyes. When I was a kid, my dad's stepmom would visit randomly and one Christmas she brought gifts. Something very nice and expensive for my dad, something very weird and age inappropriate for me and my brother and my mom got a brown paper bag full of stuff from a drawer at her house where she kept things like matchbooks from restaurants and pens from businesses. My mom told us later that that was standard behavior from her. SO BIZZARE!!!!!!!
Every Christmas my MIL and FIL spend $25 on each family member. Not a penny more. So if they see something that they know the recipient would really love and it costs $26.95.......no dice. So needless to say we usually get $25.00 GCs to Walmart. Now they are on fixed income and they have alot of people that they by for so I do not begrudge them. Everybody has a budget and a gift is just that, a gift. But in return they expect a gift card to Wal-Mart for the exact same amount. Every Christmas for years I would try to get creative without spending so much that they would be uncomfortable. She loves to bake and always makes a cake when people visit so the last year that i actually tried to be thoughtful I got her a beautiful crystal cake plate and server. She was visably disapointed as usual and the following year came out and asked me to please get her the Wal Mart gift card!! One year she shocked me and bought me earrings and then proceeded to tell me how she found them on sale for only $3.00.
The same is true for birthdays. They send us all a card with $25.00 and when their birthdays roll around they call my husband and hint around about when will he be mailing their $25.00. When we first got married I was appalled!! I would rather have a nice card and no gift or a family meal than to be trapped in this weird $25.00 exchange program we have going but that is what they do and all of my efforts to change that have been taken as an offence. My DH's oldest DD lived with her mom all through high school. Her dad raised her and her sister pretty much on his own after the divorce. Once she got to high school, she was getting in trouble at school and the house was a war zone between her and her sister so she moved in with her mom so she could change schools. But her dad and I still financially supported her. I would say about 90%. (Her mom has never had a problem making her pay her own way from the time she was 14 to this day. Even things as small as a drivethrough trip to McDonalds she was expected to pay for herself.) For DD's birthday and for Christmas every year we buy her (and now days her husband as well) nice gifts and spend quite a bit of money. Yet every Christmas, she buys gifts for everyone except us. She buys something for her mom, her stepdad, her step sister, her friends, her co-workers but nothing for me and nothing for her dad. And you can forget about our birthdays. Sometimes she remembers to get something for her three sisters on this side but not often. And while I don't really care about me, it bothers me that she doesn't get her dad anything. Ever. Not for Christmas, not for his birthday, he gets a card for father's day usually. What's even worse is during Christmas and around mother's day and her mom's birthday and even around father's day she will tell me about all the gifts she has bought for her mom and her stepdad etc. Then she will usually say something along the lines of "I would get Dad something but he doesn't like me to spend money on him." This year for father's day they were at our house and she gave him a card. I stopped at Academy to get him something he had been wanting and hinted that she could get him a GC and she ignored me. When we got to the car, she reitterated the "Dad doesn't like me spending money" and this is after a weekend of taking them out around town and out to eat and outfitting their entire nursury. I never learn but I still think it is SO RUDE!!!!!
. Her MIL does stuff like that all the time.
If you have not read her annual Christmas gift thread, do a search, the gifts are hilarious.
I would have been hurt as well - it is not about the money, imo, more about equal respect. 
she is just odd... I got a Little House on the Praire style nightie for my bridal shower... I don't think I have gotten anything for my birthday in quite some time... 
