Inspired by Preschool thread: Pressure to Potty Train to get in!

[mookie]

HI all,

My DD will be 3 in March, which means that we will be (trying) to start preschool this fall. I'm starting to stress about it because we are having trouble in the potty training dept. Let's just say it's VERY SLOOOOW going. In fact, some days it works, and others, it doesn't. I just don't know when she's finally goin to get the hang of it.

But all preschools I know of want the kids to be potty trained. I'm worried that even if I am able to potty train her, she might still have accidents. (Of course I'm speculating. I have no idea, but I'm thinking the worst.)

I guess what I'm wondering is, how long were your kids potty trained before you sent them on their way to preschool? Was it a solid 6 months in underware, or had they just learned? How did the preschool handle it? We're there LOTS of potty breaks? Any problems?

I think I'm just worrying too much, but any "been there's" or advice would help!

 

[kbkids]

My DS didn't turn 3 until the end of May, so I was majorly stressed over it. He honestly just didn't care. But we were going to Disney World in May, and I hated to have to be running to a bathroom 20 times a day, so I just decided I'd deal with it when we got back from the trip. Put him in underwear everyday when we got home (except at night), and he was completely potty trained in about 3 weeks. School started in August. He did fine - never had an accident, and strangely enough, never wet at night, even with his pullups on while we were potty training. I eventually quit putting the pullups on him at night some time during that summer. He'll be 5 this May, and he's never once wet at night - watch me jinx myself tonight!

 

[kbkids]

Just wanted to add that at my son's preschool, they can go the bathroom anytime they want. It's in the room, but the teachers do make everyone go at a set time twice a day.

 

[Rachie0507]

I went through that with DS last year too. He turned 3 on July 7th. I registered him for preschool back in February though because otherwise he wouldn't get a spot. June 1st, I put him in underwear and never looked back!! It took him a couple of days to really get it but it worked out fine. We even went camping a couple weeks after and he never had an accident. He has been in preschool now for 4 months and he has been great. He had one little accident (#2) right before I picked him up one day. They were really good about it. He is very sensitive so they didn't say anything to him and just had me take care of it when I got there.

If your child isn't even 3 yet, I wouldn't worry. There is plenty of time. Maybe try visiting preschools and telling her she has to go potty before she can go there everyday. It would be a great incentive!

 

[golfgal]

Both my boys trained right around the age of 3, one one month shy of 3 the other one month past 3. They pretty much trained themselves, they just decided they didn't want diapers any more and that was pretty much it. I wouldn't worry too much right now, fall is a long way away.

 

[ntburns22]

I am in the same boat as you. My DS will be 3 in May. He will only use the potty if he is in underware and a Tshirt. As soon as we put pants on him he doesn't go on his potty. We really want him to be ready to go in the fall. We live in a rural area so he doesn't get alot of interaction with other little kids.

 

[jodifla]

My DS trained late, he was more like 3.5. But then he got it in a couple of weeks, and only had one or two accidents at school, and then it was mostly just not getting his pants all the way off.

I even postponed a cruise because I thought he wouldn't be trained, but then of course he was trained in plenty of time, but it was too late since I'd already pushed the cruise.

What worked for me was ending all the fun whenever an accident happened. We would stop, clean him up, clean up the floor, get dressed. He got real sick of having to leave whateve he was doing, and decided it was just simpler to use the potty.

 

[cepmom]

when DD8 was potty training, it only took a couple of weeks. She was almost 3 when we started in July (her bday is beginning of August) and her preschool was starting up in September. I was nervous about her having accidents at school since she was so new at it, but she was fine. The bathroom is right in the classroom, and the school has all the students leave an extra pair of clothes just in case of accidents.

DD5 was the easiest of all....we were going to WDW in November when she was 2 1/2. She had been showing interest in potty training, but I kept pushing it off thinking it would never work that early (her sisters were older than 2 1/2 when they wanted to learn) and I couldn't fathom running to the bathroom every 30 minutes while at WDW! (am I a bad Mom??) As soon as we returned home from our trip, she was potty trained in a few days and started preschool when she turned 3 in May.

 

[mum4jenn]

I tried to get my dd potty trained (from age 18 months)so HARD and had very little success. I bought every book,tape,video out there and tried EVERY trick in the book and she just would NOT get with the program. Just before she turned 3 we put her in a daycare and they told us they would help but if she was to be able to go on field trips at all she would have to be potty trained completely. So we told this to dd and then all of a sudden on her 3rd birthday it was like she all of a sudden decided "OK todays the day". And it was. She only had a couple of night time accidents but she was like a pro starting with that day!!


By the way...she is very smart and talented and is in the gifted classes in 2nd grade now so don't let anyone tell you there is something wrong with her not being trained yet!!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

My DS was exactly (to the day) 3 1/2 when he was finally potty trained. He's almost 13 now, and we still tell his potty training stories.

He turned 3 1/2 on August 4...about 4 weeks before nursery school. Talk about being in a panic! Best thing we did was get rid of the Pull-Ups. I told him "that's it...no more pull-ups...use the bathroom"...with a frown. He peed 3 times in DH's pickup truck that weekend (much to DH's horror), and then that was it...NEVER another accident.

I wouldn't worry yet. If you end up overly anxious about it, it might affect how you both deal with it, IMHO. I'd just take him to the bathroom frequently throughout the day. Buy him some spiffy undies and avoid the pullups (except maybe at night?) and give lots of praise. And be assured it WILL happen.

Oh...and I perfectly understand issues like kbkids talked about with going on vacation, etc. It seemed like we always had something going on, and it was just easier NOT to deal with it...even if we tried on some days, as soon as some event came around, we'd resort to NOT dealing with it; if I had to do it all over again (and thank God I don't ) I may have just made the extra effort at those times. Vacations are tough tho, and I agree with kbkids about not dealing with it then...the child probably wouldn't be real focused anyway, and what good would that do.

Mare, who didn't have much luck but is perfectly willing to advise others.

 

[christineann]

I taught 3 year old preschool for several years, and our school had the potty training requirement, too. As a teacher and mother of two, I found that reminding the children to go and asking them if they needed to go at other-than-the-usual times helped. (That is not too much trouble!) Accidents do happen - they are only 3.

My frustration was with the parents who felt that I should potty train their kids from start to finish - hard to do when you have 16 of them!

 

[Disney_1derland]

My youngest turned 3 in September. She had NO interest in potty training. Didn't care if she was wet or messy. Didn't care if she was in underwear or not. She'd just go and get on with and she'd walk around wet all day if you let her.

I was so frustrated and then in November we found out #3 was on the way. I was a wreck. She's got to go to Pre-K next fall, and she must be PT'd for that. I didn't want to be still PT'ing when #3 arrives.

Needless to say, we tried everything. We finally found something that worked for her and she has been dry 3 weeks now. Not a single accident at all. I think we've finally done it but I'll wait a few more weeks before saying that outloud

Good luck. If they're not ready, they're not ready. And, if yours is a stubborn child like mine then you're just gonna have to keep trying till you find what works!

 

[mookie]

Oh Lori, I'm dying to know what worked!!! Please keep me posted, your DD sounds a lot like mine!!!

Thanks to all of you who've replied so far for the advice and support in that I'm not crazy!

 

[EthansMom]

My son wasn't potty trained in time to start 3 year-old preschool in the fall. We had just had another baby in the spring and then moved across the country in the summer and DS kept regressing on the potty training.

Rather than force the issue, I kept DS out of preschool until he was completely potty trained (during the day). By winter, DS was ready for preschool. I had no problem finding a preschool with openings in the winter (Jan.).

I agree with not using Pull-Ups. I don't think Pull-Ups helped one bit in the potty training dept. -- just wicked the moisture away from DS and made him more comfortable.

 

[A4Disney]

HI all,

My DD will be 3 in March, which means that we will be (trying) to start preschool this fall. I'm starting to stress about it because we are having trouble in the potty training dept. Let's just say it's VERY SLOOOOW going. In fact, some days it works, and others, it doesn't. I just don't know when she's finally goin to get the hang of it.

But all preschools I know of want the kids to be potty trained. I'm worried that even if I am able to potty train her, she might still have accidents. (Of course I'm speculating. I have no idea, but I'm thinking the worst.)

I guess what I'm wondering is, how long were your kids potty trained before you sent them on their way to preschool? Was it a solid 6 months in underware, or had they just learned? How did the preschool handle it? We're there LOTS of potty breaks? Any problems?

I think I'm just worrying too much, but any "been there's" or advice would

help!

Oh don't worry she'll be fine!You have the whole spring/summer which is so great because she can wear little sundresses(so easy for potty training)When mine have gotten the hang of it it only took a couple days.Even if it's been slow going just put her in underwear in March and I think it will just come naturally in a few days..Good Luck

 

[Ava83]

DD3 was PT in July and her birthday is the start of Aug. She started preschool in Sept.

I was worried about accidents also, but was told by our wonderful preschool, that is what the extra change of clothes is for, accidents do happen.

She has never had one in school (whew) but once we got serious about the PT it took us just a few days, but Ava was ready.

 

[aprilgail2]

The 2 and 3 year old preschools here they don't have to be potty trained for...but the 4 year old preschools they do. My daughter has a late birthday so when she went to 2 year old preschool she was only 1 year 9 months old...no way was she potty trained LOL..for 3 year old preschool she was only 2 years 9 months old..still not potty trained....came to the summer between 3 and 4 year old preschool and I started in June to make sure she was completely trained by Sept.

 

[Stacy9402]

My daughter cut it close by being potty trained to get into preschol this year. She turned 3 right after school started. So she is one of the youngest but she was having accidents right up til the day she went to school and I mean she was just to lazy to go to the potty and just wet her pants. But after school started she might have had about 4 accidents and hasn't had one for at least 4 months. So proud of her. We just don't mention it and she goes when she wants. But she did potty train backwards she has never done #2 in her pants since she was out of diapers. So that was easy. #1 was the hardest so time consuming for her. Now can't wait to see how Disney goes this weekend. But I have faith that she will not have any accidents.

 

[mtemm]

we've seen a mixed attitude. one school we considered said they absolutely needed to be potty trained. another school said they wanted them to be potty trained, but understood that some kids are slower and said that they would work on it with him. In fact, most of the schools we are looking at adopt this attitude. If you've read this in the rulebook or whatever, talk to them personally about it. sometimes they are more lenient when you explain that your child just isn't there yet.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

My girls both learned fairly early, so I didn't have to worry about this, but my now 8yo had one or two accidents a year until she started kindergarten. Like someone said, that's why they want an extra set of clothes on hand. It's normal, so please don't worry about accidents.

As far as potty training, you have time, so don't worry too much yet. I don't know what you've been doing, but one thing that worked well for both my dd's was to stop asking them if they needed to go, and start asking if they could keep their pants dry. I read somewhere that it puts the responsibility on them, makes it more positive ("keep them dry", versus "don't make them wet") and they'd figure out how to keep their pants dry. It worked for us. Seriously, I remember with dd2, telling her she had to go potty before we left the house, and she kept saying no. Then I turned it around and said "can you keep your pants dry if you don't go potty before we get in the car?" and it was like a little lightbulb going off in her head, she turned right around and went potty.

Hope that helps. Good luck!