Inspired by many - How young is too young?

[HayGan]

A couple of recent threads around here (and some disussions with my DH) have got me thinking about the increasing trend of getting children into organized sports/activities at younger ages. My boys are 4 and 5 and do not currently participate in any organized sports/activites. My older son is diagnosed in the autism spectrum and we haven't put him anything because his time is taken up with so many other things (school, therpaies, etc.). We just haven't felt the need to put them in anything yet. We both feel that they are too young. Maybe in the fall we might get them into something but the debate continues as to what it will be.

I am amazed at the number of children less than 4 years of age who are involved in organized sports/activities. It seems that so many people I know are running their kids to this practice/event/competition. Thier lives are just consumed with it. It doesn't seem that they have muchfamily/kid time outside of these things. My best friend was so upset because all the other moms in her MOPS group had their kids in something and her girls had just turned 3 and heaven forbid they weren't in any activities. SO of course she ran out and signed them up for gymnastics and dance classes.

Why is there such pressure to get our kids involved in all this stuff at such a young age? When I was a kid (and it wasn't that long ago) hardly anyone was taking dance at 2 or playing soccer at 3! There are even kids going to preschool at 18 months So what is going on?


So my question is, should kids be involved in all this stuff at early ages?

Why or why not?

 

[eyeoreismyhero]

My DD is starting dance this year at 3 and can begin playing rec basketball at 5. I think learning teamwork at a young age can be very helpful!

 

[mickeyboat]

My kids have been doing gymnastics since they were 2 (they are 5 and 6 now). But it is on Saturday mornings for 45 minutes, and is not competitive at all. I signed them up so they could have some physical activity in the winter, and since they go to a home day care, I wanted them to have an opportunity to learn how to listen to a teacher, take turns, stand in line, etc. before they started pre-school. They really enjoy it (they aren't very good at it), and if they would like to pursue it when they are a bit older, I will probably support them.

They also played soccer last fall, again on Saturday mornings, and not on a competitive level. I want them to be able to try a variety of things and see what gets them interested. Hannah really liked it, Emily thinks it's stupid to get into a pack and chase that ball around. She will probably be better at individual sports.

The sports that I see getting a lot of early participation around here are hockey and dance.

Denae

Denae

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My girls enjoy it. Good enough reason for me.

 

[Beth76]

I don't think there is a "too young" age as long as the kids are having fun and the parents aren't pressuring them to always win and be perfect. I started Kindermusik with my older son when he was 5 months old. We did that for a year and a half. We both loved it! Then he took a dance class when he was 2-1/2 and had a little recital at the end--it was so cute! Now, he more into sports. He's done soccer and t-ball, just for fun. More instructional than competitive. Right now, both of my boys are in gymnastics. It's the highlight of our Thursday mornings. It's called socialization. As long as everyone is having fun, I don't see the problem.

 

[ntburns22]

My DD started soccer at 3 it was an hour a week. At 5 she took dance class again an hour a week. Now at 6 she is in cheer and she has 2 45 minutes classes a week.

Now with my DS, he will be 3 in May. We were just talking about his last night with DH because he could play t-ball. We are holding off with him atleast another year. He doesn't have the maturity level to play an organized sport or activity yet.

I believe it all depends on your child and what they are able to handle. If your 2 year old can go to a class and listen and pay attention I say go for it.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

DD did a couple things at 3/4 - but they were low key, emphasis on fun and developing good habits classes - one was a terrific sports program where they learned the very basics of sports - throwing, kicking, all that ...it was very nice and fun....she also did gymanastics - but again, just a fun intro the equipment and very basic stuff. Both these ran only a couple weeks and we did one thing at a time...

now at 8 - she does three hours of theatre group a week and an hour of dance class...over the summer we will do more dance

 

[pixiemomma]

My sons started playing organized sports at 4. Why? Because it is good exercise and excellent socialization. I don't think kids should be forced to play sports but if they enjoy it I don't see a downside.

Both my children have made good friends through their teams and we actually get to know the families, unlike those of my son's classmates.

And I agree with the others that their isn't any age that is "too young" but every child has a different maturity level and that has alot to do with whether they are into the sport or not.

 

[Poohgirl]

My older son started at age 5 in karate and 6 in t-ball, my younger DS who is high functioning autistic joined karate at 6 and t-ball at 7 he enjoyed that karate and still does it after 2 years, it is more of an individual "sport". He didn't do so well in t-ball, although he loved to hit and catch the whole team game thing was a bit boring for him. Now they are 8,& 9. Several months ago they both started boy scout which they are loving. I keep them to 2 sports/activities at a time now.

 

[missypie]

Watching four year olds play soccer is a hoot, but your kid won't be marred for life if he doesn't do it. We love seeing the three year olds at dance recital because 12 of them can stand in a line in their pretty costumes and no two of them are doing the same movement at the same time...it's so funny (but are they learning to dance????)

I will say that if you have a child who does a sport that requires a degree of nerve...e.g. gymnastics....start as early as possible. When they're tiny, they aren't afraid of anything...the faster they progress at that "fearless" age, the better. My DD is 10 and is starting to be afraid on the balance beam...It's a totally rational fear...doing a back walkover on a 4" piece of wood...but it could end her career. It's the 8 year olds who can do that stuff without a second thought.

I would encourage you to get your son who is on the autism spectrum into swimming. My DS15 has asperger's syndrome. He is TOTALLY unathletic, but has always been a great swimmer. (He once told me that in the water "things just seem right.") He's not competitive at all, so swim team isn't an option, but it's good for his self esteem that he's such a good swimmer.

 

[pooh4evr]

My DD who just turned 5 is currently doing dance 1 hr a week (just started 2 weeks ago) Basketball at the YMCA for a hour (instructional league no "games" score or refs) indoor soccer on Sundays which is competitive (same church team she played with in the fall outdoor) and swimming lessons once a week. We only have 2 soccer games left and just a couple of basketball. however T-ball starts next month- For her - it is fun being with the other kids, and learning, she seems to enjoy it all- it does seem like much but after this season I don;t think we will do indoor, and swimming won't always be there either we just want to expose both of the girls to lots of things Partly I guess because DH and I palyed lots of sports growing up and it just seems natural to us - once she starts Kindergarten in July we'll probably have to take a better look at our schedule and see how it all works. DD2 just does swimming for now but when she turns 3 dance too maybe.

 

[va32h]

With my oldest, we did the activities thing - dance class, tball, cheer, clubs, etc. By the time she turned 6, we decided to quit most activities. The main reasons:

1)My kids would almost always prefer to stay home and play instead of going to a class or joining a team

2)I do not enjoy spending my time ferrying children from activity to activity and waiting for them to finish.

3)I didn't think it was fair to the younger siblings, to spend so much time in a lobby or waiting room, waiting for big sister to finish this class or that practice.

My oldest is now 10, and she has figure skating and Girl Scouts. These are both activites that I can (if necessary) drop her off and pick her up later. Girl Scouts is twice a month and skating is twice a week, but dh and I take turns taking her, so the younger kids can stay at home.

 

[HayGan]

I would encourage you to get your son who is on the autism spectrum into swimming. My DS15 has asperger's syndrome. He is TOTALLY unathletic, but has always been a great swimmer. (He once told me that in the water "things just seem right.") He's not competitive at all, so swim team isn't an option, but it's good for his self esteem that he's such a good swimmer.

Thanks for the suggestion but his only real fear in life is water. He does ok in kiddie pools but swimming totally terrifies him. Maybe someday.


Personally, I do think 5/6 is a good age to start getting involved in these things. I think that competiton sports require a certain level of maturity that extremely young children haven't yet reached. I just think that kids overall are being pressured to succeed at younger and younger ages. So much competiton has been placed in their lives that many kids treat every thing as a competiton and have lost sight of the "fun" aspect of it.

 

[Barb D]

Better sooner than later. If you wait too long, the other kids in the sport will have been doing it for a couple of years and will have an edge. You might not think this matters, but it does.

 

[mrsltg]

I think it depends on the child in question. But I do think that a two year old is a little young to be in an organized sport. My older dd starting dancing when she was 4. She enjoys it. I have seen the class of two year olds though and I shake my head in wonder...

We attended a b-day party at a local gymnastics center. There was a huge sign on the wall that said, "Winners Train - Losers Complain". That's when I decided this one time would be the only time my kids ever set foot in the place. Other moms there had their kids involved since the age of two - guess their kids are "winners".

In general I think a lot of parents involve their kids in activities and then get too involved themselves. A lot of times I think parents are living vicariously through their kids. I guess that's a whole other debate though!

Erin

 

[Bob Slydell]

We started DS1 in soccer at 3 and tae kwon do at 4. Both only take up an hour a week (soccer on Saturdays in the Spring and Fall, TKD two weekdays a week, 30 minutes at a time). The two don't overlap at all either, so he's always only doing one activity at any given time. We usually sign him up for swimming classes in the summer, but put TKD "on hold" during that time, so once again, he's not doubled up with activites.

Like others have said, the key is making sure it's fun and enjoyable for your kids -- if they see it as something they have to do rather than want to do, that's when it's a good time to reevaluate.

 

[HayGan]

Better sooner than later. If you wait too long, the other kids in the sport will have been doing it for a couple of years and will have an edge. You might not think this matters, but it does.

In some cases this is true but there are plenty of other examples of when it isn't. There are many professional athletes who did not get into their sports until later in life. Athletic ability, IMHO, is something that isn't something that is learned. Sure you can refine and improve your abilities but some kids won't be able to hit a baseball over a fence no matter how long they have played or practiced. My kids kick a soccer ball, hit a baseball and throw/catch a football just fine without being involved in t-ball, soccer leagues or pee wee football. They know the basics of the games just as well (if not better) than other kids who are involved in "teams".

 

[momof2inPA]

My kids have attended classes at the Y and soccer that included kids with autism as young as four. The class at the Y was a toddler gym class, and the autistic child's wrap-around helped her during class. My kids have taken swimming since they were three, because I think it's important to keep from drowning, and soccer since they were four, because it was more fun than competitive. Gymnastics was thrown in there at a couple points with mixed success.

 

[luvmyfam444]

I started dance @ 30 ---30 yrs ago.....

and I too started dd#1 @ 3...she LOVED it & at that age they sure don't get any cuter in those tutu's!

As far as sports go they don't take them in any sport that I know of @ 3 - but as soon as mine are old enough I've put them in - so in our case we started with soccer @ 4 & t-ball @ 5...& yes we were still in ballet too @ the time. WE also had dd in piano....

Dd#2 is too young yet to be in anything yet - not sure if we'll be able to afford lessons for her yet since there's a new baby on the way - we'll see once she's old enough (in the fall)...

Now personally, I think this IS what family time is about - spending my night's watching dd play sports, etc IF we weren't doing something like this what would we being doing @ home as a family??? Probably sitting watching t.v. which I'm afraid may be what the majority of folks would do if they weren't involved...we eat dinner together as a fam before we had out to pracitce/games & cheer her on & then her g'parents come & are involved as well...


The flip side to this is that YES you really need to start kids young 'cause that's when they learn the game /the rules/how to get along with others & its fun (no score kept in the first year or so)...BUT by the time these kids are 7 or 8 they are really good @ the sport (often) & if you wait that long to put your child in they will be behind, not knowing the rules of the game, & just not having the experience & that's no fun.....

As far as travel ball/select teams/competetions that's a whole nuther issue - I'm talking about just plain ole rec (city) league sports where there's not tons of pressure to always win (at least not @ the early ages)...

 

[cardaway]

If we're talking about sports, IMO they are too young if they can't understand or play by the rules of the sport. Basketball is clearly the worst. They're too young to dribble or shoot.

Why not just come up with an ativity that is age appopriate rather than force one and change the rules?