Inspired by Liz: Would you want a parent to move in with you?

[Rajah]

Just curious. If you had the opportunity or need for a parent to move in with you, would you want them to? (This is not "would you do it because you had to", it's would you enjoy having them in your house)

For me, let's see...

My dad, definitely. I get along with him *great*.

My mom...as long as we had a Mom's Apartment type setup (which we could improvise in our current house, actually), sure! If we didn't have some kind of "set away" place where she could retreat, probably not.

My MIL...I'd be annoyed by it, but would let her.

My FIL. No. Just plain no.

 

[imgoingtodisney]

at one time I would have said my MIL. but after the treatment she has shown me these past 11mos Id say NO way, Jose

 

[Meriweather]

I only have a MIL left.....so NO!!

 

[Bunchkin]

My answer would be the same for my mom, dad, father in law and mother in law........NO, NO WAY, NEVER, NADA, NINE, NON. In any language it's the same!!

 

[WDWLVR]

My mom -yes, in a minute. However she passed away in October of '97 so that isn't happening.

MIL & FIL - not right now - they are getting on my nerves way too much. You never know what the future holds.

 

[mickeyfan1]

Then I could put up with my mother. She drives me crazy after 3 days, but if it wasn't constant interaction, that would be fine. MIL - a resounding not just no but H**L NO! This opinion is shared by both members of the household (me and DH), SMIL, probably in the suite, but not in the house, she is 100% Greek, and very boisterous. And she is a great cook, so I probably would agree to reduced rent if she would chef for me. My father (who art possibly in heaven, not to be confused with my brother. the Father) probably not at all, he would demand too much babysitting. I firmly believe that you MUST love your parents, in-laws, etc, due to birth or marraige, but you don't have to LIKE them!!

 

[Blondie]

I would love having my parents here, as long as we had an "in-law" suite or something along those lines, for their own privacy as well as ours.

My monster-in-law is another story.

I'm glad she lives three states away!

 

[mrsapalm]

Not even if they paid me rent and kissed my feet every night. I love my mom, but there's no way I would live with her again. I love my dad too... but he snores way too loud and is hard of hearing, so you can't talk and watch tv with him at the same time.
As for the in-laws.... nope. I'll leave it at that!
-MrsAPalm

 

[CamColt]

If it were my parents, I would love to have them here. Right now they are 1/2 mile around the corner anyway. If we are talking MIL...no way, no how, no! I would be moving out first.

 

[pokiemomo181]

My mother lived with me for many years till she passed away 5 years ago. In april we asked my MIL to move in with us. She is 91 and I wasn't comfortable with her living alone in another state. It has been hard, since she and I have never been very close. Since my mother stayed with us I had no qualms about extending the same arrangement to my MIL. I am totally against nursing homes, so the alternative is to help them live out their lives with their families if possible. I feel its the least we can do for them. This is not for everyone, but with a little patience and a deaf ear some of the time, you can survive it, LOL.


Pokie

 

[JESW]

DH & I have thought about this since my parents are the older of the two sets - my Dad is 82 and my Mom is 78. But we have young kids and no spare room so we did the next best thing. In April we bought them a townhouse in an 0ver-55 community just 5 minutes down the road! They live in a real nice NEW home with a crew that takes care of the outside. The builder lives right down the road so we can always get in touch with him if there's problems. I call my folks every day and visit them several times a week. They get to see our kids a lot and I really like that.

A couple years back they sold their home and moved into an apartment. But it was tough for me to get there every week and we worried if anything happened to my Dad my Mom wouldn't be able to get around since she doesn't drive. This way I can take her out with me some days while Dad watches my DD. DH & I have also been able to go out a couple times while they watch the kids. Some times they just watch one kid and even that gives us a break. It has worked out well for all involved. And they don't have to worry about the landlord throwing them out!

My DB and his wife live close by so they see them a lot. My Dsister lives a bit further away but she still drops in. My other DB lives in New Mexico but he comes out this way on business every once in a while.


Jill

 

[JohnTBap]

I have a parent in mind, yes.

 

[wdw4us]

My dad lived in an inlaw apt above use for 15 years. it was best for him. At times it was a bit difficult but not too often. He knew to not interfere and he never did.

I had a lot of moments when he was sick and had to watch over him. He didn't pay attention to his health and in the end, it' was a major problem and basically I became the parent. A role I didn't want especially raising my own 2 kids. I did the best I could, I was the only one who was around who could. My brother moved so he would have to "deal with that stuff".

thankfully I have a very understanding husband. I doubt if the roles were reversed, if I'd be that nice.

As far as my inlaws, I don't think so. My MIL and I get along fine in separate houses. My FIL too. We're down to one daughter at home and when she moves out, it'll be quiet but peaceful. Been 24 years since it's just the 2 of us. I can't wait. Much as I miss my son at school, it may be a nice change to be alone again.

denise

 

[disykat]

I suppose in an inlaw suite where they cooked for themselves I could deal with my parents and maybe even my MIL. My FIL - never, especially if our children were still living with us.

My parents would never agree to it though. They're too independent now and have made it clear the arrangements they want - a retirement community followed by a nursing home. They are willing to relocate to one close to one of us kids to make it more convenient for us.

My inlaws, on the other hand, will never leave their property and will expect a child to move home if necessary. Thank God DH has a sister.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>Only my dad is left, so I would in a heartbeat.

No inlaws anymore, so that's a moot point.

 

[minniecarousel]

I replied to Liz's thread about this. My 85 year old Mom has lived with us for almost 2 years. We moved to this house specifically so that she could live with us. With both of our DSs away at college, she's great company. I was driving 25 miles to take her to doctor's appts when she lived with my sis, so this is more convenient for me. I work part-time, so she's alone for only about 2-3 hours a day. Yeah, sometimes she puts things in the wrong drawer or cupboard in the kitchen, and her TV gets kinda loud at times, but I wouldn't trade this situation for anything.
That said, I don't believe that a child should feel obligated to take in a parent, especially one who is difficult.