Inspired by in-laws, I know I am not the only one with a crazy S-in -Law!

[RUDisney]

See, but why was this behavior allowed to continue? People who behave like this as "adults" behaved badly as children, and had parents who didn't nip it in the bud, get them the help they needed, do something to correct the situaiton.

My FIL would have corrected the situation, but MIL threw him out before he could. How could he accuse his DD of not being sane?!?

I never met my FIL in person. MIL had the kids so scared that she'd disown them that they never saw him again after he left, no matter how hard he tried. To this day, my DH can't tell her that 3 years ago, before he died, he actually moved his father's things out of his apt when he went to a nursing home. She'd be beside herself that he did that for his FATHER, even though he made sure to not see him face-to-face, although I made him speak with him on the phone a few times.

Anyway, that's my take on it. The parents don't want to admit that their kids need help, so the kids never get any and the circle continues.

 

[Nancy]

I would have worn black just to spite her, but that's me. . .

I would have worn BLACK AND WHITE!

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I have 3 SIL's that are married or were married to my brothers. Two of them are like my best friends even the one who has been divorced from my brother for 15 years. The third is a little whacked and mean to My brother, so I don't deal with her unless I have too which is not often.


My Ex DH"s sister on the other hand... Good Lord.... I would never be friends with either one of them....They have said some pretty mean stuff to me over the years all uncalled for.

Dh's sister shows up at the Hospitol the day I delivered my twins, After I had been inhouse for 5 weeks, They had never called or shown up until the babies were there. So anyway she shows up and is holding one of the twins and is crying and crying that she will have no relationship with them, and its soooo sad.
Ok lets recap, I have just spent 5 weeks in the Hospitol NOONE from DH's family offerred to help out one iota with the 2 kids 11 and 6, who were left at home while I scrambled with my family and friends to cover thier care.

There is never an occassion they seek out the kids, I always inititate the visting noone bothers. cut to this Christmas we see This particular SIL, who says to MY DD, Oh I will give you a key so if you don't want to go home and deal with little brothers on the weekend You can stay with me. My jaw dropped to the floor. My DD was flabbergasted it was so bizzare. I was PO'ed..

And I know this is snarky but I don't care. I said oh thats right I l know you don't have any kids at home anymore. That must be hard when they are all grown and away. Then I said well at least you can get a good nights sleep, No more Santa toys to put together or stockings to fill. just you having a relaxing christmas eve. That must be differant. ANd walked away with my passle of kids.

And the thing is after we left all my DD could say was she couldn't believe she said to come to her house and that why in the hell would she? You reap what you sow. and now she is realizing it, the kids have zero relationship with either SIL and have no desire to what so ever.

 

[budbeerlady]

Thanks for making me feel so normal!!!! I have had this S-in L for 7 plus years and it still irks me that she will invite the other family members but not us over for holidays (Christmas night, Easter, Etc.) In fact we found out by accident that this was even going on untill my younger S-in-L let it slip at our house Christmas afternoon. That was the last straw for Dh this past Christmas to find out they wouldnt come by us and that everyone who was at our home then went on to theirs for another party. (HOw dumb is that?) Apparently since we live in "the Country" we arent quite good enough for them, so our policy is to avoid them. We now see them maybe 3 times a year. I will take my country air, it doesnt stink as much as whats happening over there!

 

[EthansMom]

I have a pretty difficult relationship with my SIL.

Here's one story:

For DC's birthday in the summer, we were planning on having several friends and family members over at the house. I mentioned casually to SIL that we'll be doing BBQ and she asks, "Oh, what are you BBQing?" So, I told her we were planning on cooking up sausages and hot dogs (in addition to soda, chips, potato salad, green salad, etc.). So, SIL goes on a rant, "No one in the family likes sausage! You really need to make something that everyone will eat! You should make chicken."

So, trying to be nice, I changed my menu and bought some chicken thighs and legs at a good price. I looked at chicken breasts, but it was pretty pricey for the 25 or so people we were expecting to feed. Of course, later that day, SIL called to check up on me, "Did you get chicken?" And I told her that I had gotten a good price on some thighs and legs. And she went off again, this time about how her family only eats chicken breast and no one would like legs or thighs... and, "Oh, I'll just have to bring steaks for my family!"

I was ! After all, this was a kid's birthday party at 2 p.m., not even at a meal time. And there would be no way to fit 3-4 steaks on our grill while DH was grilling up chicken. Not to mention how rude it would be for some guests to eat steak in front of our other friends and family who wouldn't be offered any.

So, I discussed it with DH and then called SIL to let her know that if she didn't want to eat what we served, she didn't have to come. She didn't say much back to me, but I knew there would be heck to pay later.

Well, the day of the birthday party, after waiting an hour past the start time of the party and not seeing any sign of SIL, BIL or their kids, we started the pinata. I planned on filling a few extra baggies for SIL's kids in case they came late. Well, about half way through the pinata, SIL's kids came running down the hill to the pinata and one of the boys fell and scraped up his knee. I later found out that SIL yelled at MIL, "How could you start without us? It's all your fault that my son got hurt!"

Then, SIL proceeded to hold court indoors next to the buffet table, pouting and making snide comments about the food and party.

Our friends seemed to have fun, the food and party were a big hit with everyone else, but SIL really managed to drag down the family.

Honestly, I'm learning to be very careful with what I say to SIL. I'm learning that she isn't my friend and that I can't trust her.

 

[RUDisney]

Sounds like you could have served a tenderloin and she'd have complained that she only likes NY Strip!

 

[nliedel]

I got ya all beat (kidding. I know this is not a competition).

SiL 1: There is no one else in the world but her and her husband and her baby. She calls and talks to me and yammers on about her little Poopsie and never says a word about my four kids or asks about them. She thinks it's a contest. HER baby is going to walk before mine. HER pregnancy and bedrest was worse than mine (Her's was pretty awful,so was mine. I would call it a draw). HER son is smarter than mine. HER parents love HER more than my husband. SHE is the smartest and the best looking one in the family. It's all about her all the time. I can offer no parenting advice because SHE is a child care proffessional and knows more than me even though I have four children. My body of knowledge means nothing.

I love her but I get off the phone with her and feel like a failure.

SiL 2: Nuts. She is a compulsive horder and her cats poop all over her house. So bad I will not allow the kids over there even tho she is a block away.

She knows more than anyone. If I tell her something that is not good in my life she will say, "That's OK, this is what happened to me ________". She is a Pagan and I am very supportive with that but she talks about the Gods like she is "SPECIAL". Special is fine and she is. She is special and talented in her own right but the way she talks..

OK example. She was talking about the Norse God Odin. I didn't think before I corrected her promnounciation because I don't like it when people do that to me but my Grandmother was Swedish. "I think it's pronounced "Othen", she looks at me and says, "well that's how SOME people say it but he told me to call him Odin." She was dead serious.

She tells me how her dead relatives are leading her life. I am not talking about ANY dead realatives because I have no real problem with people who are psychic it's that one of them is my dead son. She told me a couple weeks ago he talks to her all the time and he tells her what he thinks about ME! Pardon me? Don't come into my home and tell me my dead son has some problem with me. He's *my* son. He died before she saw him and I was horrified and disgusted with it. You can't tell her she is wrong because it's family and my kids love her. My sons' death was tragic and breaks my heart to this day (nine years) and I am not comfortable talking about it. They also will count the grandkids and leave Ben out of the count. I know life goes on but I technically have 5 boys. One is not with us but he counted too.

Last night I told SiL1 that her mother bought a new sewing machine and her response was, "Good I get her old one" I told her that the new one only did embroidery and that Mom still needed that one. She said, "Well I get them all in the end anyway." nice. Mom is not even 65 yet. I think she has a few years left in her. They are both always splitting up Mom and Dad's things when they are over there. Their parents are not even sick! My mom died when I was 16 and I love their mother (they do too. I want to make that clear).

When "Mom" had colo-rectal cancer 5 years ago the girls never once visited her. My husband called them and told them Mom was calling for them. THey both attacked my husband and told him not to tell them what to do. Then they showed up. The Chemo messed with Mom's memory and she does not remember me being there but remembers them coming all the time and some of the memories are things we did together when she was in chemo.

I don't care if Mom remembers it right because I just want her to be happy but both girls never say anything when she talks about it. My husband just says to let it go and I mostly do but sometimes I... well I just get so frustrated with it all.

Thanks for reading my vent. I feel loads better now.

For the record I am *FAR* from perfect but I try really hard. I have done some really stupid things too.

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

bump!

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

Well we all got invited to DH's cousin's 1st b'day party on Saturday. DH & older DS won't be able to go - so I think younger DS & I will just stay home. SIL will be there and I really don't want her around my younger DS - the one she has issues with. I know if we go I'll will spend the entire time walking on egg shells around her and worrying if DS is behaving properly. Even though I know he's a well-behaved kid, I don't want her picking on him.

 

[budbeerlady]

Bumpity Bump