Inspired by a couple posts...bathroom question

[robinb]

Unless the child is looking under the stalls, I don't see how anyone could possibly be offended by a little boy going in the restroom with his mother.

I don't think anyone has a problem with a "little boy", it's the 4th, 5th, and 6th graders and even older I have a problem with at WDW. I'm sorry about your brother , but even you would agree that a 14 year old doesn't belong in the ladies room.

 

[NewEnglandDisney]

Wow, as a man, I have to say - LET HIM PEE BY HIMSELF!

There was a thread about a TEN year old not that long ago...I know everyone loves their children, but there is a difference between love and being over protective to a damaging fault.

Please, for his own mental well-being, and the comfort of the other ladies in the rest room - let him hold his own wee-wee, please!

N.E.D.

 

[melaniemiller2002]

I would and I have. When I was working with a kid who had been flashed while working his paper route, I didn't say don't leave the house again, qui your route. When I worked with the kid sexually assaulted by the TA in the classroom I didn't say "it is too dangerous to be in school, stay home." When I was assaulted in college, I didn't stop going to classes, because it was between my room and the classroom. The percenages of those things happening is small. But, quite frankly, the chance of a kid being assaulted in the RR at WDW is smaller. Add up all of the folks who have been in and out of that place. And the facts are there. It isn't judgemental, it is logical and rational rather than fanning the fire of fear that has been going on around here lately.

I completely agree with this post. I guess I'm a "bad" mom because my stepson has been using the restroom on his own since he was about 6 (he's almost 9 now) and my stepdaughter goes into the bathroom on her own as well (she's almost 6...I wait outside the bathroom if it's a single, or outside the stall if it's a bigger restroom). If she is with her dad, he sends her in and waits outside the restroom with her. Both kids know that they are to go in, do their business, wash their hands, then head out. There has never been any goofing and both children know if someone approaches them, they are to quickly exit the bathroom and if that's not possible, they are to yell out for us.

I guess it's horrible that we let my stepson walk the .5 mile to school and have since he was in 1st grade (we actually followed him when he was in 1st grade without his knowledge). I guess I am from that school of thought that ANYTHING can happen ANYWHERE and I don't want my kids growing up being scared to do things by themselves because "something might happen". I work in an ICU and see horrible injuries all the time . Does it make me a bit more careful on the road? Yes! And I scared to the point where I won't leave my home? No. The highway to work is notorious for fatal accidents. This doesn't prevent me from traveling on it. I also snowboard, even after seeing patients come in with horrible head injuries from running into trees, falling, and running into other skiers/snowboarders. Has this made me stop? No. I just upped my coverage and lowered my deductible!

Do I cringe when my stepdaughter hops onto my old skateboard and takes off down the driveway? Hell, yes. But if I don't let her experiment and test herself, she will never learn to become an independent girl/woman. When my stepson asks if he can ride his bike around the block, I silently pray that nothing will happen to him. We have to learn to give them some room, little by little. I actually give him my cell phone and he knows he is to call me if anything happens or he needs help. And yes, he has stayed home alone for approximately 30 minutes in the past (in our state, you can leave an 8 year old home alone for 30 minutes, and every year it the time extends).

A lot depends on the maturity of the child and how well behaved he is. My stepson is not the kind to go trying to cook on the stove or lighting fires, etc. He's pretty damn responsible (sometimes too much I think) and is always worried about doing the right thing. My stepdaughter would NOT be allowed to stay home for any length of time until she's MUCH, MUCH older and a lot more responsible. She loves getting into trouble . So a lot of how much you trust your kid or how much independence you give your child depends on the child him/herself. My stepkids also know that if anyone ever comes up to them professing to know them, they are to ask that person what the password is. If that person does not know the password, my children are supposed to walk away immediately. Anyone we would ever have go up to the kids know what the password is and the kids know it by heart.

I know that the world is a lot different than the one I grew up in (I'm almost 32). But there is only so far we can go to protect our kids from EVERYTHING that can hurt them. Sexual predators are out there. It's funny...I know some moms who take their 8 or 9 year old into the restrooms because they don't feel the kids are old enough for them to be safe on their own. But these same moms also let their kids surf the internet without ANY supervision! My stepkids aren't allowed to surf without one of us being there (they don't even have the authority to get online without us there) and even when they are old enough for their own computer, it will not have online capabilities. Some would say THAT was being overprotective. I guess it's what each parent thinks and feels. But I will admit that it does make me a bit uncomfortable to see an older boy (8 and up) in the women's restroom. Not just for me, but for him as well. I know my 8 year old stepson would be horrified if I dragged him into the ladies room!!

What's funny is that I think it's just Americans who are this way. When I traveled around Europe, we had to share bathrooms AND showers with males. At least in the youth hostels I stayed in. I remember my first day at a hostel in Paris....I was in the little shower stall and I heard some whistling...I quickly realized it was a man...teehee. I questioned it and was told that there is no distinction between men's and women's....it was all the same. Later that day, we had a male assigned to share our room with us (there were 3 beds to each room in the hostel). I quickly learned to accept it and move on. Most places we visited were like this, so I don't know if it's a European thing or not.

Melanie

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i do recall seeing some family restrooms you can ask castmembers to point them out. see, i'm gonna sound really mean here but i don't mean to be.....but when they start getting up there i think it's ok for them to go by themselves......but under certain conditions. i would tell them to go and if they're not back in 5 minutes i would come in there and get them(i really wouldn't care about what the men had to think at that point lol) and tell them you're waiting right outside the door. it's just my opinion because female restroom lines are always so long and then there are boys that also are in the restrooms that make the wait lines longer. i hope i didn't offend you, but when it comes down to it it's really up to you so whatever you feel comfortable with should be what you choose to do.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

I completely agree with this post. I guess I'm a "bad" mom because my stepson has been using the restroom on his own since he was about 6 (he's almost 9 now) and my stepdaughter goes into the bathroom on her own as well (she's almost 6...I wait outside the bathroom if it's a single, or outside the stall if it's a bigger restroom). If she is with her dad, he sends her in and waits outside the restroom with her. Both kids know that they are to go in, do their business, wash their hands, then head out. There has never been any goofing and both children know if someone approaches them, they are to quickly exit the bathroom and if that's not possible, they are to yell out for us.

I guess it's horrible that we let my stepson walk the .5 mile to school and have since he was in 1st grade (we actually followed him when he was in 1st grade without his knowledge). I guess I am from that school of thought that ANYTHING can happen ANYWHERE and I don't want my kids growing up being scared to do things by themselves because "something might happen". I work in an ICU and see horrible injuries all the time . Does it make me a bit more careful on the road? Yes! And I scared to the point where I won't leave my home? No. The highway to work is notorious for fatal accidents. This doesn't prevent me from traveling on it. I also snowboard, even after seeing patients come in with horrible head injuries from running into trees, falling, and running into other skiers/snowboarders. Has this made me stop? No. I just upped my coverage and lowered my deductible!

Do I cringe when my stepdaughter hops onto my old skateboard and takes off down the driveway? Hell, yes. But if I don't let her experiment and test herself, she will never learn to become an independent girl/woman. When my stepson asks if he can ride his bike around the block, I silently pray that nothing will happen to him. We have to learn to give them some room, little by little. I actually give him my cell phone and he knows he is to call me if anything happens or he needs help. And yes, he has stayed home alone for approximately 30 minutes in the past (in our state, you can leave an 8 year old home alone for 30 minutes, and every year it the time extends).

A lot depends on the maturity of the child and how well behaved he is. My stepson is not the kind to go trying to cook on the stove or lighting fires, etc. He's pretty damn responsible (sometimes too much I think) and is always worried about doing the right thing. My stepdaughter would NOT be allowed to stay home for any length of time until she's MUCH, MUCH older and a lot more responsible. She loves getting into trouble . So a lot of how much you trust your kid or how much independence you give your child depends on the child him/herself. My stepkids also know that if anyone ever comes up to them professing to know them, they are to ask that person what the password is. If that person does not know the password, my children are supposed to walk away immediately. Anyone we would ever have go up to the kids know what the password is and the kids know it by heart.

I know that the world is a lot different than the one I grew up in (I'm almost 32). But there is only so far we can go to protect our kids from EVERYTHING that can hurt them. Sexual predators are out there. It's funny...I know some moms who take their 8 or 9 year old into the restrooms because they don't feel the kids are old enough for them to be safe on their own. But these same moms also let their kids surf the internet without ANY supervision! My stepkids aren't allowed to surf without one of us being there (they don't even have the authority to get online without us there) and even when they are old enough for their own computer, it will not have online capabilities. Some would say THAT was being overprotective. I guess it's what each parent thinks and feels. But I will admit that it does make me a bit uncomfortable to see an older boy (8 and up) in the women's restroom. Not just for me, but for him as well. I know my 8 year old stepson would be horrified if I dragged him into the ladies room!!

What's funny is that I think it's just Americans who are this way. When I traveled around Europe, we had to share bathrooms AND showers with males. At least in the youth hostels I stayed in. I remember my first day at a hostel in Paris....I was in the little shower stall and I heard some whistling...I quickly realized it was a man...teehee. I questioned it and was told that there is no distinction between men's and women's....it was all the same. Later that day, we had a male assigned to share our room with us (there were 3 beds to each room in the hostel). I quickly learned to accept it and move on. Most places we visited were like this, so I don't know if it's a European thing or not.

Melanie

i completley agree with you! my mother is actually from before you're time and when i was younger she got mugged once and after she was a basketcase. i wasn't allowed off of my porch until i was 13(by myself) and i wasn't allowed to ride my bike around the corner by myself until i was 14....it was just absurd and i'd go over to my friends' house around the corner and my mother would tell me "Call me when you get there"....which is understandable and i always did. but i didn't know she would watch me until i went to the corner and then run into the kitchen and watch me walk to her front porch(you could see it from where our house sits) and if i didn't call her RIGHT AWAY i'd have a phone call waiting for me "WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME!?"......seriously people don't do stuff like that to your kids. trust them a tad to have their own judgement with things. the first time we went on a trip together as a family she put a leash on me.....which i understand for places like Disney that have a lot of people......but we were on a secluded beach with very few people on it. i seriously think i have psylogical problems from all of that stuff lol. and my parents went on their first vacation just the 2 of them this past week(they went to disney) and this would be the first time they ever left me alone in the house for more than a few hours(i'm 21 and i still live at home.......but hang on the story gets better) so they typed out this whole entire page of "things to do" while they were gone. it was insane. i had to wake up like every 4 hours to do certain things and they got new fire alarms put in(the old ones were fine) and they had someone come in and put a water shut off valve on the toilet and they made sure i knew how to use a fuse box and explained it to me for 20 minutes(funny.......don't you just flick the switch? because i haven't done that before *rolls eyes*). point in fact is that if you don't start trusting your kids a little bit while they're younger than you'll end up like my parents. calling everyday asking "IS EVERYTHING OK!? IS THE HOUSE OK!? OMG IS THE DOG OK!?".....it's really annoying.

if something's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. but luckily there's more times that things don't happen than they do........like kids being taken. espically in Disney considering they actually do have a lot of security dressed in regular clothing(which is SUCH a good idea!) so i'm sure if they see anything suspicious going on they'll do something about it. and if it comes down to it and you see a male cast member walking by it couldn't hurt to ask him to just walk in there with him and wait until he comes out.

 

[DISUNC]

Wow, as a man, I have to say - LET HIM PEE BY HIMSELF!

There was a thread about a TEN year old not that long ago...I know everyone loves their children, but there is a difference between love and being over protective to a damaging fault.

Please, for his own mental well-being, and the comfort of the other ladies in the rest room - let him hold his own wee-wee, please!

N.E.D.

As ALWAYS N.E.D is right on the money! Beautifully said!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Another "woo hoo!!!" for NED. Great post!

 

[k_k_100]

This weekend I noticed a family who had a great solution to the “age old” restroom question We were camping & in the community restroom we saw a little girl who was about 5-6? Her dad was standing right outside the door & being VERY attentive (constantly asking her if she was o.k. etc.) DD(3) noticed she had a whistle around her neck & asked her about it. She said her parents give it to her whenever she is camping – she is supposed to blow it if she ever looses sight of them.

What a great idea – if children are mature enough to “go” by themselves & behave themselves – it is very easy to blow a whistle if something “bad” starts to happen. I’m going to start training dd on this concept now – so when she is old enough she will know when to blow & when not too.

 

[BluOrchid2]

it is very easy to blow a whistle if something “bad” starts to happen.

Yeah, unless the perp rips it off her neck or outta her hands.

 

[robinb]

Yeah, unless the perp rips it off her neck or outta her hands.

My! Aren't you cheery this evening!

 

[Harligirl]

HOLY COW! I go away for 2 days and my post has 9 pages!

I want to thank MOST everyone for replying. I really didn't want this to turn into a debate....I was looking for opinions and how others have handled this situation....

I am sorry if I offended anyone and I am sorry if I misunderstood the Companion Restrooms. I understand that some posters are trying to be funny but I don't think it is fair to do it at my expense. I am a loving Mom who wants her son to be safe. If you think I am overprotective , so be it.

It really upsets me that this post has taken the turn it has- it seems like an excuse for people to bicker and debate each other. Don't get me wrong, I am all for a good debate, but this isn't one of them.

So, anyhoo, I really believe I am more confused than I was before I started this thread! Thanks to all that tried to help!

 

[k_k_100]

Yeah, unless the perp rips it off her neck or outta her hands.

You’re welcome I’m always happy to post a positive idea/solution to help my fellow Disney fans. Have a magical day

 

[kangaroodle]

The weirdest thing I ever saw in relation to this topic.......a few weeks ago at Toys R Us a Dad brought his daughter (around 3 or 4 yrs old) into the LADIES ROOM!!!!! Now that's just weird!

 

[shellybaxter]

I was very curious about this issue when it came up before here on the DIS. I completely understand a mother who wants to protect her children, but as a women I would not be terribly comfortable using the restroom with 10 to 12 year old boys either. I wondered what my rights were, as a grown woman. I also wondered what Disney's take was on the situation. So I emailed guest services and asked them what the policy was. I didn't get an answer right away and had forgotten I'd emailed them. Interestingly enough I got a phone call from a guest services CM last weekend. She explained that Disney would never say anything to a guest who felt it was important to take her child into the restroom with her. However, she STRESSED over and over again (it was a message, I didn't really speak with her) that the prefered way for an older son to accompany his mother to the restroom was to use the companion restrooms.

In reading this thread (and I admit I didn't read it all) it appears that some guests are under the impression that those restrooms are only for guests with disabilities. I just wanted to point out that according to my call from Disney thats not true. The lady on the phone was very clear. They won't stop a mother from taking her son into a restroom, but they expect that guest to be considerate of other guests when doing so. The opinion given on the phone of what to do when the child is too old for the ladies room, but not old enough to be alone was to use the companion restrooms. This was stressed over and over.

 

[rascalmom]

A little off topic, but on a lighter note of this topic...

A few years ago I had back surgery. My dd's were young elementary school age - probably about 8 & 4 years old. My dad, who lives near us & was a teacher, had picked both kids up from school & taken them to a movie at the mall & to do some Christmas shopping to entertain them & help me out while I was recuperating.

Now my dad is a big, gruff, old-fashioned kind of guy. Of course, in the middle of their outing, sometime after the movie, one of the girls inevitably had to go to the restroom. My dad was the very protective type when I was growing up & there was NO WAY he was going to send his to "little princess" granddaughters into the ladies room at the mall unaccompanied. There probably wasn't a companion restroom at that time. What's a grandpa to do?

He scooped the girls up, loaded them in his car & made a beeline for my dh's office - which was about 1 1/2 miles from the mall. Dh is the owner of the business & they could use the restroom there - no problem. When they got there, a sense of urgency had obviously arisen. Grandpa & the girls went streaking right past reception & headed toward the hall where the rr was located. Normally that would not have been a problem...EXCEPT that year Santa Claus had found the need to have dd's new American Girl Dolls delivered to dh's office so that the gifts could be stored by Dad until Christmas. The dolls had arrived that day & DH had opened the big box to check "Santa's" efficiency & show the dolls to some co-workers. The dolls were out of their box & in plain view. Well my dh didn't know about the bathroom need, Grandpa didn't now about the Santa dolls being visible in dh's private office which is one door away from the rr - these two guys just about came to blows about who was going where in the middle of a busy office. Luckily the receptionist caught on to what was going on & ran back to close the private office door & direct the girls to the rr without any surprises or accidents occurring. A companion restroom would have been great - but a grandpa in need can find a solution!

 

[BluOrchid2]

k k 100 and robinb.....I'm sorry that you were apparently offended by my post. It's a possible reality, isn't it? I saw a possible serious flaw in your "solution," and wanted to point it out so that other parents could understand that their "foolproof" safekeeping method of having the child wear a whistle might not be so foolproof. I think a child would be so shocked and flustered at being touched by another person who was not their parent that they probably wouldn't think to reach for the whistle anyway, at least not first thing. If anything, they'd be yelling. By the time they recovered their wits about them and remembered the whistle, it would probably be too late. Not only that, but the cord of the whistle around their neck could even be used to choke them. I just don't think it's a good idea, sorry if that hurts your feelings.

It was not my intention to rain on anyone's idea parade -- that's a rather insignificant thing when compared to the safety of our kids, don'tcha think?

There's nothing pretty about people who hurt children, and I will do anything to protect mine and others. Including hurt your feelings, if I must. But I hope you can understand the meaning behind my post a little better now, and not be hurt.

 

[robinb]

k k 100 and robinb.....I'm sorry that you were apparently offended by my post. It's a possible reality, isn't it?

You're right. It is a very remote but possible possibility that someone intent on harming a child would rip the whistle from her little hands.

I saw a possible serious flaw in your "solution," and wanted to point it out so that other parents could understand that their "foolproof" safekeeping method of having the child wear a whistle might not be so foolproof.

It's easy to find holes in someone else's solutions. Nothing is foolproof. Nothing short of putting a leash on your child 24/7. All of us on this thread care for the safety of children, both our own and those of others. I don't intend to demean the protective instincts of some parents. We all do what we can to keep our kids safe. For instance, one of my priorities was that my 5 year old DD could swim after her cousin fell off a pier into the ocean and was saved because of swimming lessons. My DD has been on swim team for almost a year and swims laps. She swap in a 50 meter event (two lengths of the pool) at a swim meet this year. Another parent may not feel as strongly about water safety as I do. It doesn't make either of us "right", just different.

All parents what to protect their children from assault. We need to give our children the tools to know what to do in case the unthinkable happens. While I don't believe there is a boogy man behind every toilet door, I do protect my DD. We talk about "stranger danger", private touching, etc. I believe there are degrees of danger and that the media and press make us believe that nasty things happen far more often than they really do. Would I advocate allowing a 9 year old to enter a rest stop men's room? No way! A WDW men's room? Sure.

Like I said on another thread, if we try to protect against ANYTHING we will soon be trying to protect against EVERYTHING. I don't want to live my life in constant fear. I do not want to lead my 5 year old around on a leash (I have seen older kids on leashes at WDW!). I want my DD to grow up happy, healthy and independent. For me, uniting the apron strings little by little will help accomplish that.

BTW, I wasn't hurt by your post. I find you a thoughtful and interesting poster. Even when I don't agree with you!

 

[ptrbryant]

DS9 started using the men's room by himself when he turned 9--with me standing right outside the door. In most public places, I'm fine with it. However, when we used to live on the East Coast, I remember there was a men's room at a big mall that my husband would avoid at all costs...he said that nearly every time he went in that particular restroom, there were several men just standing around by the urinals---a different kind of "shopping" at the mall, I guess. Clearly, if it was a situation like that, neither my son nor my DH would use the restroom. My only question is, if I'm alone with my son, how do I know if the particular men's room is "okay" or not?

For the sake of this discussion, though, I honestly do feel safer at WDW then other public places...there's just too much foot traffic through the restrooms for anyone to imagine they could get away with something there.

Karla B.

 

[minnie61650]

You're right. It is a very remote but possible possibility that someone intent on harming a child would rip the whistle from her little hands. ........

It's easy to find holes in someone else's solutions. Nothing is foolproof. Nothing short of putting a leash on your child 24/7. All of us on this thread care for the safety of children, both our own and those of others. I don't intend to demean the protective instincts of some parents. We all do what we can to keep our kids safe. ...........

All parents what to protect their children from assault. We need to give our children the tools to know what to do in case the unthinkable happens. While I don't believe there is a boogy man behind every toilet door, I do protect my DD. We talk about "stranger danger", private touching, etc. I believe there are degrees of danger and that the media and press make us believe that nasty things happen far more often than they really do. Would I advocate allowing a 9 year old to enter a rest stop men's room? No way! A WDW men's room? Sure.

Like I said on another thread, if we try to protect against ANYTHING we will soon be trying to protect against EVERYTHING. I don't want to live my life in constant fear. I do not want to lead my 5 year old around on a leash (I have seen older kids on leashes at WDW!). I want my DD to grow up happy, healthy and independent. For me, uniting the apron strings little by little will help accomplish that.

BTW, I wasn't hurt by your post. I find you a thoughtful and interesting poster. Even when I don't agree with you!

This person has very good advice.
Give your children the tools they need to grow up.
Teach them " stranger danger" but also teach them trust.
Tell them you trust them to behave and follow the rules and that they can trust you to always be there for them.
Linda
Only 70 more days

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

The weirdest thing I ever saw in relation to this topic.......a few weeks ago at Toys R Us a Dad brought his daughter (around 3 or 4 yrs old) into the LADIES ROOM!!!!! Now that's just weird!

Either weird...or the best way ever to pick up chicks!!! No competition! Hmmmm