Inspired by a couple posts...bathroom question

[Selket]

Here is why I don't send my sons into the restroom alone - this happened at the mall we go to all the time - usually once a week we eat at the food court there exactly where this happened:

"-On 05-27-05, at 6:50 p.m., two brothers, 4 and 5-years-old, went to the men’ room near the Food Court at Westfield Shoppingtown Montgomery (Montgomery Mall). The mother got concerned that they were taking too long, and when she looked into the restroom, she saw the suspect with his hands on her 4-year-old ....(I edited out this part). The suspect fled the scene in an unknown direction. "

That's not urban legend - it was taken right off our county police dept website. I realize it is a very rare occurance and the children were younger than some of the ages being discussed here. The food court where this happened DOES have a family restroom right next to the other restrooms that has 2 large stalls, smaller potties for little kids and a changing area. I always take my kids there. The mom in this case probably thought her kids were safer cause they were going together.

Anyway - just pointing out why some folks are cautious about sending kids into the restroom alone.

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

Well, as a mom to a 11 year old son and a 12 year old and 5 year old daughter, I say you need to do what you feel comfortable doing. If someone has a problem with you bringing your son into the womens room, then that is their problem - if you left him outside or let him go alone into the men's room and something happened - they would probably be the same ones to say what kind of mom were you do to such a thing.

In my experience, judgemental people are always judgemental people in any circumstances.

I also agree that using a handicapped stall for 5 minutes is a big difference from parking in a handicap spot for any amount of time. But if I have to go and it is the ONLY spot available I will use it. But of course, while I am in there, everyone else would have finished up because they had a head start on me and then it will appear to the person who just walked in that I had taken the handicap stall on purpose and I will be greated by dirty looks when I walk out.

As for quoting percentages that very few children get harmed in public restrooms, tell that to the few who were harmed.

Oh and NO, I do not take my son in the ladies room with me, but only because he refuses to come in....If I had my way.........he'd never leave my sight...but.......they all grow up on us.

 

[meandtheguys2]

As for quoting percentages that very few children get harmed in public restrooms, tell that to the few who were harmed.

I would and I have. When I was working with a kid who had been flashed while working his paper route, I didn't say don't leave the house again, qui your route. When I worked with the kid sexually assaulted by the TA in the classroom I didn't say "it is too dangerous to be in school, stay home." When I was assaulted in college, I didn't stop going to classes, because it was between my room and the classroom. The percenages of those things happening is small. But, quite frankly, the chance of a kid being assaulted in the RR at WDW is smaller. Add up all of the folks who have been in and out of that place. And the facts are there. It isn't judgemental, it is logical and rational rather than fanning the fire of fear that has been going on around here lately.

If you read these boards or react to every news source, you wouldn't ride TOT, or MS, or let your daughter ride an elevater or your teen-age son shower at a water park.

I am thrilled that my mom allowed me to become an independant woman, and I fully intend to allow my sons the same privilege. We all might be hurt in the process, but it beats the heck out of being a prisoner of fear. I don't dread my children stepping out on their own, I am proud of hem for doing so.

 

[BillSears]

I would and I have. When I was working with a kid who had been flashed while working his paper route, I didn't say don't leave the house again, qui your route. When I worked with the kid sexually assaulted by the TA in the classroom I didn't say "it is too dangerous to be in school, stay home." When I was assaulted in college, I didn't stop going to classes, because it was between my room and the classroom. The percenages of those things happening is small. But, quite frankly, the chance of a kid being assaulted in the RR at WDW is smaller. Add up all of the folks who have been in and out of that place. And the facts are there. It isn't judgemental, it is logical and rational rather than fanning the fire of fear that has been going on around here lately.

If you read these boards or react to every news source, you wouldn't ride TOT, or MS, or let your daughter ride an elevater or your teen-age son shower at a water park.

I am thrilled that my mom allowed me to become an independant woman, and I fully intend to allow my sons the same privilege. We all might be hurt in the process, but it beats the heck out of being a prisoner of fear. I don't dread my children stepping out on their own, I am proud of hem for doing so.

QFT!!!! (Quoted For Truth)

Very well put Meandtheguys2. I'm so happy to hear that not everyone out there is afraid of life.

 

[robinb]

The percenages of those things happening is small. But, quite frankly, the chance of a kid being assaulted in the RR at WDW is smaller. Add up all of the folks who have been in and out of that place. And the facts are there. It isn't judgemental, it is logical and rational rather than fanning the fire of fear that has been going on around here lately.

ITA with everything you said.

 

[Juligan]

If it were me, I would bring DS into the ladies room w/ me! Honestly, what is he going to SEE? Women washing their hands, brushing their hair, and putting on lipstick? And maybe a tampon machine? I could think of a lot worse things he would see--for peace of mind, bring him w/ you.

That is exactly what I was gonna say... what's he gonna see?

If you're really worried, you could announce "ladies, I'm bringing in my son"

 

[puddleduck]

Just because someone doesn't feel comfortable letting their 8 yo in a public bathroom by themselves, doesn't mean they are paranoid or afraid to live. I honestly can't say how old my boys will be before I let them go in the men's room by themselves. Some of it doesn't even have to do with safety. I worked with in a summer program w/ school age kids. We used space in a church. It got to where I couldn't let 12 yo boys go to the restroom unless it was one at a time and me or one of my aides was standing outside of door. Why? They would run in there, pee all over the walls and floors and scatter toilet paper and paper towels every where. Some 6, 7 and 8 yo boys would find that to be a fun time also. As for leaving a 6 yo to sit on a bench while a parent uses the bathroom. Some 6 yo are still in the roaming stage, and I personally couldn't image letting them out of my site.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

[/B]
This is the reasoning folks use to use to justify parking in a HP parking spot.

While I truly appreciate the little pathetic rolling eyes smilie that you have chosen, using the companion restroom for a few minutes to let a little one take a pee is a big difference from than some ******* who parks his car in a HC space at the mall and goes shopping. It's more akin to someone who sits and idles in his car in a no parking zone and wait for his kids to come out of the mall. If a cop or fire truck pulls up and asks you to move, you move. Of course now, there will be a glut of post from people who would never ever even think of doing something so callous!

 

[penchris]

Unless the child is looking under the stalls, I don't see how anyone could possibly be offended by a little boy going in the restroom with his mother. You wouldn't leave this age child home alone...because "ANYTHING" could happen...and that is still valid in a high volume public restroom. My brother was lewdly propositioned and threatened in a public restroom when he was 14. He came running out crying, and wouldn't go by himself again for almost a year. It does happen.

My son is 6, and I still take him in the stall with me (facing the door...holding the purse). He hates it, but I know right where he is at all times and that he is safe. When he goes, I stand outside the stall.

Companion restrooms are for whoever feels they need them. Disabled persons, mother's with children, even a solo that is seriously ill and needs "space". I am thankful they are there, because in some states (i.e. California) the alternative is that persons needing assistance in a public restroom are legally allowed to have a companion of the opposite sex help them.

 

[Nanajo1]

xxxoo

 

[babar41]

Hi all!

I am trying to plan a trip for my family in December. I am trying to get some other family members to join us...BUT if not, it will be myself, Lisa, 32, DD13 and DS8.

So, my question..where does my son go to the bathroom? hehe- do they have family restrooms? Do I send him in by himself? Does he come with me? I know he is getting older and I need to "cut the cord" but he is my baby and I am very overprotective.

How would you handle the situation????

Thanks everyone!
Lisa

I thought it might help to remember what the OP said. She asked where her DS8 should use the restroom. It seems to me that this topic has really swung out of the original OP's question.

Everyone has their own opinion as to the "right age" to allow children to use the restroom alone. Each parent will have to answer that question and many others on what is right in their circumstance. I think the bigger question here is if the OP decides her DS is too young to go to the mens room alone what are her choices? Being a considerate person, as I'm sure she is, she is concerned that the presence of an 8 year old boy in the women's public restroom might make some people uncomfortable. That case being made her choice now seems to be a family or companion restroom. I am sure she will use those facilities as quickly as possible, knowing that there are others that may need to use these rooms too.

By the way, it is inconsiderate for ANYONE to use ANY stall to change clothes and do make-up when there are others waiting to use the toilet. Might I suggest if you need to change clothes why don't you go back to your room and do that? Makeup and hair can be done at the outer sink, that way not interfering from those who have a need to use the toilet (which by the way is the reason 99% of the people go to the restroom are there)! As far as judging anyone elses need to use any stall or restroom that is available.... Haven't we been preaching on the Dis board that you can not always judge someones disability by sight? Somepeople may be able to walk but not be able to get up from a sitting position without the handrails that are in the handicapped stall.

I'd like to see this thread turn more positive.

 

[welovedis]

I may be odd in this but I look at it this way. If he's old enough to go by himself at home and at school then he's old enough to go into a public restroom alone. You'll be waiting outside and ready to rush to his aid if something terrible happens. You'll be watching the exits. Just let the poor kid take care of himself.

I know I waited many times outside of the Ladies room for my daughter. I don't think it's that bad a thing to do.

While I'm not saying you are odd, you're making a judgement of one thing that has nothing to do with another. My DS is old enough to go to the restroom by himself at home and at school but is not responsible enough to use a public restroom by himself without acting inappropriately (ie..playing in the water (floor, sink, toilet bowl), getting scared & standing in a corner, speaking to someone that he shouldn't or staring at a man while he's using a urinal). He has a form of autism and is not capable of being reponsible in a men's restroom along...period.

To look at him you would not know this and would probably make a judgement of your own that I am being overprotective and not letting him grow up. However, until he's old enough to be responsible (and that is the bottom line no matter what) then he will accompanied by an adult in a public restroom.

 

[welovedis]

On the internet (such as Deb Will site), you will find references to Family Restrooms at WDW, but the only restrooms that Disney actually labels as Family Restrooms are the ones in the Child Care Centers (which are the ones that have the small size toilets in them that someone mentioned in an earlier post.) Here's the actual quote from mouseplanet.


Disney calls them Companion Restrooms and they are not listed on the park maps. The only place you will see them mentioned by Disney is in the Guidebook for Guests with Disabilities. As someone else mentioned, the handicapped stalls in the regular restrooms look large, but at MK, there are none that are large enough to bring a wheelchair or a companion to assist you into the stall and close the door. So, in effect, that means there are 6 stalls in the whole MK park (not 6 restrooms) that people in that situation are able to use. We have had the situation of going thru the park all the way from Haunted Mansion to the Companion Restroom near Pirates (passing several ladies rooms we could not use) to find the Companion Restroom full (a lady with a 3 or 4 yr old girl) with 2 other parties waiting to get in (a man with a preschool age boy), (a woman with a preschool boy). I don't know if they had other choices available to them, but we didn't.

I'd ask that people be considerate and ask themselves whether it is a choice for them to use the Companion Restroom or a necessity. If it's a choice, please remember that there are other people who don't have a choice - that is the only restroom they can use.

Sue, thanks as usual for putting the info plainly out there for us to read. The other thread on the disABILITIES board is another good one to read about restrooms. Thanks for posting this!

 

[meandtheguys2]

While I'm not saying you are odd, you're making a judgement of one thing that has nothing to do with another. My DS is old enough to go to the restroom by himself at home and at school but is not responsible enough to use a public restroom by himself without acting inappropriately (ie..playing in the water (floor, sink, toilet bowl), getting scared & standing in a corner, speaking to someone that he shouldn't or staring at a man while he's using a urinal). He has a form of autism and is not capable of being reponsible in a men's restroom along...period.

To look at him you would not know this and would probably make a judgement of your own that I am being overprotective and not letting him grow up. However, until he's old enough to be responsible (and that is the bottom line no matter what) then he will accompanied by an adult in a public restroom.

Not to speak for Bill, but what several have said is that the overwhelming fear of someone assaulting their kiddo in the RR at WDW is not founded in the facts. Not that a youngster who has specific needs to be met shouldn't be taken care of. If that make sense! I'd be tickled to run into you and you DS at WDW...even in the RR!

 

[welovedis]

Michelle-I do agree with what you're saying, sometimes the fear does stop you from doing things. I just got done reading "Protecting the Gift" & am glad I'm not taking the information totally verbatim--man my kid wouldn't leave my side!

I guess what I meant is that until a parent decides a child is responsible enough to do _______, then they should work at helping that child gain the responsibility and grow along the way.

 

[cinder1]

I have 4 kids, DD 10, DD 8, DS 5 and DD 14 mths. There are some places I will let DS use the RR alone and others where he must come with me or one of his sisters. The older girls are usually allowed to go alone but DH or I wait right outside. When they were too young for that and were out with DH without me, he took them into a family RR if available (they turned away if he needed to go) or he took them with eyes covered into the Men's Room, but he always hated that. In DH's opinion, many Men's Rooms are gross and he doesn't like for the kids to go in them. On several occasions, he asked female employees to check on the girls or go in with them. The female employees always did so with no problem.


As for nondisabled folks using the handicapp stalls, I don't see the problem. Many times, there is a line for the restroom, for disabled and nondisabled folks alike. Many times, the only stall big enough for a stroller is the handicapped stall. I absolutely do not like leaving the baby alone in the bathroom while I go and the couple of times I have, people have commented on have terrible it was for me to leave her outside the stall. What to do other than the big, handicapp stall? Also many times the changing station is in the handicapp stall. We can't change the baby because someone else may need the stall? Of course, if you change your baby in the stroller outside of the RR, people get very nasty about that!!

I just don't understand why anyone thinks they should always have an open stall. I realize that some disabled folks can't hold it long, but there are many nondisabled folks who can't hold it long (or any longer than they have already) ie, young kids, folks with bladder issues--most pregnant women (you know what I mean), older folks, etc.

I agree that everyone, disabled or not, should finish up as quickly as possible if anyone is waiting.

 

[DISUNC]

This thread is fascinating me! I'm amazed by it!

For once I have a solution...Depend diapers for everyone!!!!!! POOF problem gone!

I have one question for all the Mom's who see fit to bring their school age sons to the ladies room.....What do you think about the Dad's who bring their school aged daughters to the mens room????

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

So I should demand that the folks in the HP stall move?

Of course not. The disabled person is in the FD/PD position. If they are there, they go first, period. The reasoning behind my likening the fire lane mall pickup is that both people, the disabled with companion and non with child, are both there waiting to use the restroom. Both parties know who goes first, just like the fire truck tells you to move, you move. You can't pull up and demand a fire truck get out of your way so you can wait to pick up your kids. It's not like abandoning your car in the HC space, even for 5 minutes, which, I'm sure don't have to tell you, happens to be illegal.

 

[DISUNC]

The movie WITNESS is now on AMC!!! For those who never saw it, it's about a AMISH Boy who goes into a train station Mens room all by himself, and witnesses a brutal murder!!!!

Just thought I throw that into the mix!

 

[meandtheguys2]

The movie WITNESS is now on AMC!!! For those who never saw it, it's about a AMISH Boy who goes into a train station Mens room all by himself, and witnesses a brutal murder!!!!

Just thought I throw that into the mix!

The last laugh of the night!