In search of my body...not the one I ate!

[AKASnowWhite]

I think I want to be a caterer. I love making food that others enjoy. Nothing is better than a good recipe.

I cook (well, techinically mostly bake) for a living, and I too enjoy making good food for other people. The problem is, I often eat it as well. Hence the "shrink-wrap" jeans issue. I always say my goal is to make other people FAT with my yummy treats so that I look thinner by comparison!

My dream job - to work in the movie industry as a costume designer/maker. I just love that stuff. Just finished the costuming for my son's high school play this past weekend - made these drop-dead gorgeous Victorian dresses (you woulda thought I'd have taken a picture - DUH! ) and start tomorrow with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Should be fun!

 

[SeptemberGirl]

I didn't get any updates yesterday for the DIS board, so I am catching up again!

My Tuesday sucked, too. I broke down crying and asked my DH for help (it was my inlaws that prompted this) and instead of support he got off the phone with me WHILE I WAS CRYING to yell at his parents. Heart in the right place? Yes. Brain in the right place? No. God Bless him. Meanwhile, my 3 yr old put her arms around me and just hugged me...why does my kid get it more than my spouse???

Tuesday is supposed to be my day with my daughter - a happy good day where I actually play with her and pay attention to her...and I was cranky, tired, upset, all because of stuff that happened with them and me not standing up for myself enough. I called my cousin and friends for support...I ended up picking up my best friend's kids from school because they make me feel better. Funny, isn't it? Being with them just makes me happy - I call them my niece and nephew - Carol, 10, and Andrew, 14. Carol is named after my friend Jackie's mom and me - her middle name is my name. I've known Jackie since I was 8. We are family.

After work she came over and made me tell her the story, we gave Em (my DD) a bath, put her pjs on, and took her and the kids to Jackie's house. Got pizza and they let us hang out and hide from my life!

By the time I got home I felt better. I need to deal with my inlaws better.

But the good news? I weighed in at WW this morning, and I am down 3.8 this week! And 28 total!

I hope my email notifications start working soon - I want to keep up and reply to each of you. Oh, and my dream job is pretty much what I am doing now and working on building...I'm an editor and writer. I love it. PM me if you want details, I don't want to bore you all! But if you're interested, I will tell all!

 

[MunkyMe13]

Rock On!!! I am totally with you. My mind was opened when I went to 6 Flags and couldn't comfortably fit on most of the rides. My goal is also to lose 100 lbs and whats with plus size bras being hideous? I want a cute bra darn it!

 

[Debbie]

I'll say it again, "Men are IDIOTS."

aaaah. They can't help it, you know. Idiot is written right there on the Y gene.

. . . and start tomorrow with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

Snow White, that is my all time favourite show. In fact, it is a favourite of our whole family. And not just because DS was Joe in his Grade 8 production!

Congrats on the loss, SeptemberGirl! Weigh to go!

I've had a pretty good day. My friend and I got to school today to find out that we forgot being on "Wake-up Wednesday". We sent another staff member to the store, and bought healthy food. Veggies, dip (none for me!), cheese and crackers-low fat Wheat Thins. I had a bit, but not toooooo much.

Have a great evening! I have veggies beside me, so I think that I'll be okay. We'll see.

 

[grumpyyoungguy]

I've been looking forward to his leaving. DH is pretty demanding. We own a construction company. Custom high end homes and, now that housing is pretty sloooooow, we are doing more projects in the commercial world. DH is our company. He is so very busy and it falls to me to keep EVERYTHING else in line. I work in our office thru the week, but when you work for yourself, you are never really off. So, because he is out of town, the pressure in my life gets cut back somewhat. I am trying to not go hog wild. Because I can have lunch with friends and spend the whole evening at my parents playing cards and what not. Those things are just not possible when DH is around. I have to be available 24/7 to help my husband live his life.

Delight--I could have written most of your e-mail myself. While I love DH dearly and we have a good marriage, he definitely causes me added stress--yes, this has definitely added to my weight gain, but I will write about that another time. When he travels for business, I feel like I am on vacation from one of my "jobs." So I get what you are saying.

I TOTALLY understand what you just described of your DH. I love mine but having the me time is so nice sometimes.

EWWWWWWWWW. That story was just... Where do I begin. With "Men are IDIOTS" or "Nasty Skanks?"

It's too bad you had to watch all that go down. I'm sure it was devastating. Men are idiots.

(grumpy....don't read the next paragraph). Men are something else sometimes! I have the most wonderful, kind, generous one, and, except for Dad<--->Kids relationships, we have few, er, disagreements. HOWEVER, I have my [former] BIL, who, less than 4 months after my sister died was dating, and didn't have the courtesy to let my mom know. In fact, he announced it right here on the DIS. And I quote. "My GF won a million dreams prize." Good thing it was only the three sisters that have computers and was able to read it. He was engaged before you knew it. In fact, the wedding invitations came out....the week of the first anniversary of my DSis' death. The wedding was 4 days after what would have been her birthday at her favourite place in the world. Walt Disney World. Nice they had the money to do that. OMGosh. Don't get me wrong. We knew that he would remarry, and we're delighted that the kids have 4 more siblings to play with, and a mom to be there for them, ....well....when the parents aren't on one of their "6 weeks since we've had alone time" trips.....it just would have been nice to wait a little while, you know? I guess many men are weak.

I know you said not to read this...However that is a bit like saying " Officer you aren't going to look in the trunk are you" I was DOOMED

My Tuesday sucked, too. I broke down crying and asked my DH for help (it was my inlaws that prompted this) and instead of support he got off the phone with me WHILE I WAS CRYING to yell at his parents. Heart in the right place? Yes. Brain in the right place? No. God Bless him. Meanwhile, my 3 yr old put her arms around me and just hugged me...why does my kid get it more than my spouse???

I will be totally honest here (I will leave a few details out so that we can read this and still have a dinner tonight ...LOL) so please don't think this is easy for me.

My 17 years of marriage was mentally abusive. I just realized one day after being betrayed for the one hundredth time that I will not accept it anymore. You see ladies in this particular case, the man was not the idiot the woman was. I am not saying I was perfect, believe me I don't have that big of an ego.

However, I do know I was not the worst husband in the history of mankind and I have felt excluded sometimes on this board. I wondered why I felt that way and that more folks didn't respond to my posts. I am not sure if it is because I am a man or because I have nothing interesting to say?

I will make this brief. I grew up in an abusive home. Both verbally and physically. I was a straight A student, great at art and football but no matter what I did, it was never good enough for my father. When I was recruited to play football and received a full ride offer from 3 colleges, I was told I would not amount to anything and I was stupid for trying. I was routinely beaten. At least one time I was beaten so badly that I litterally could not sit down and was kept home from school for a week due to "the flu".

Fast forward...1990 got married too quickly and despite knowing it was not the right answer, did it anyway. From the moment I proposed I was betrayed by my soon to be wife. At first it was small things. Telling secrets that I had told her not to share, then it got bigger...

My father got a new wife shortly before he died. His will was never changed and in the will he left everything (substantial) to my brother and I. However, his new wife had convinced my father to sign ownership to her on everything: the house, retirement funds, motorcycle title, cars etc...(you get the picture) when they married.

My brother and I spoke to my uncle who is an attorney (moms side) and he stated the law in Nebraska is clear and we would stand to inherit a substantial amount in the estate due to the will.

In steps my wife.

I spoke to her and she said "what do you want to do?" I stated "I am not sure yet, however, do not let new step-mom know we have looked into fighting her on this."

My ex said ok and within 24 hours, guess who knew we would be possibly filing a court paper to freeze the estate.?
My spouse said " well, she said after she died we we would inherit the rest of the money." (and so would the grandchildren--my kids get the money when she dies).


Fast forward...the step mom is remarried and the money is ALL GONE. My kids college funds...everything.

Then in 2004 my ex and I bought a business (a bar/restaurant) and she cheats on me. She carried on an emotional/physical affair for over a year with a man who was engaged to be married who happened to be an assistant manager for the restaurant. That's right...I paid him to have involvement with my wife.

When I found this out...I am confronted with her verball confirmation of our life together. She states she never loved me enough to marry me and after 17 years and 2 kids believes it was a mistake.

I agreed, stating we should divorce. She was surprised by my reaction...shocked actually. And of course, as was the steady course of my marriage to her, being the rational sane person that she is , re-invents history and changes the story with my family, her family etc...to somehow be 100% my fault.

I did make mistakes in our marriage but I was not the one who brought a third person into the marriage at our business. I was not the one who left the house so filthy that CPS was called because while I travelled for my job...she wasn't responsible for the housework or cooking etc...

Since that low place...we tried to reconcile but my heart was never trusting and I couldn't pretend any longer that staying for the kids was the right thing to do.

Since I choose to leave, she has gone to my place of work and was threatened with security for her tirades and defamed me to every person I know. I just want to move on and love each other enough to be civil for our kids..but she...doesn't want any responsibility for our lives being where they are.

So here is where I will have a hard time with the statement that all men are idiots. I can agree though that maybe you are right in the fact that I believed when I married, that although it may not have been the best idea, we should be faithfull. Apparently my ex and I took different vows.

I don't say this to be bitter or hateful (although I am sure there is emotion in this). I simply want to say that men hurt too. We gain weight for the same reasons. We feel the same fears. I believe this is a safe place to get some weight loss help and for me to give some support back.

I understand that this is predominatley a women's thread...and as such you will speak from your point of view...but please know that there are a few men who agree that you deserve better...just like I thought I did. It would be helpfull, if we all agree that specific males mentioned thus far exceed the nice title of "idiot"...let's do so specifically like, "that x is an as*!"

On the same note I feel very close to the women thus far who want their spouses to leave (that in some ways almost makes it easier). Towards the end of my marriage I took a job as a Corporate Trainer for a major Telecom company. This is a job that required me to be gone from home 90% of my year. It was almost easier because I didn't have to be faced with the lying, deceipt and unhappiness that we both felt.

Was my situation the worst...absolutley not. Is she the spawn of satan...no....could she be better...yes, but so could I.

In a lot of ways, like Dawn, I was taking responsibility for my ex. I was making excuses because life with her was a "known". She is a screamer and verbally abusive. So I wondered would she ever do something interactive positively with the kids on her own? Would she harm them without me being there to protect them and act as a calming buffer? Despite my raising, I am a very mild mannered person and I do not like conflict and I do not like to fight with anyone.

I kept thinking I was doing this for the kids...but the negative feelings they endured and rage they saw...was not teaching them anything except that these basic things in a marriage were negotiable. Love, honor, respect, fidelity, etc. The fact is, these items were NOT negotiable, I just had to get to the realization for myself.

( I am happy to report she is going to counseling...never has physically harmed the kids...and emotionally trying, I hope to be better.)

Like my marriage, I was kidding myself about food. It was a way to escape when I was home. Pizza will make me happy or cake will make me happy. However, the end result is I am not happy and I am even more upset when my clothes don't fit anymore.

I believe my ex wife was always there because she thought she wanted a family but never knew that there was something else behind the Norman Rockwell print (work and dedication). You see there is no magic bullet for a relationship that is not working.

You HAVE GOT TO WORK on it.

Know now I am not advocating for divorce. I think that there is never a winner in that situation. Especially the children. I am just saying that I had to look at my life, ask if it was headed in the right direction and is this salvagable?

I could see my errors and acknowledge them. However, how do you communicate in a marriage that has never had respect, accountability, or trust?

Please don't misunderstand this post... I support all of you. I am so glad you are here. I am so proud of you for sharing your deepest thoughts, fears, and challenges with us.

You should want to lose the weight and be a better you for you not for someone else. I believe if someone loves you they will support you in the hopes and desires you have for your life.

A marriage is there to enahnace an already existing and healthy relationship ...but a marriage is not an excuse to create a relationship. Marriage cannot be the foundation of a relationship. If that is the case...you built your pyramid upside down.

One last thought. Men and women have different thought processes. I can tell you I can see both sides of the coin. However, that is not common. I feel that when a man is faced with a problem (generally) he is immediately looking for a solution ("let just get it fixed"). If a man can't fix it ladies, he feels helpless and out of control of his environment and that is a VERY uncomfortable place for him.

The way to help him is to assure him he is still valued and wanted.

A woman (generally) wants to talk about her emotions ("when you said that, this is how I felt"). As a man if I can understand how you felt in that situation and give you support through it, we can work together to find a win win solution.

I apologize for the novel. I want everyone here to be the best person they can or want to be. I really do think everyone here cares about their fellow Diser and that is what is different about this thread that Dawn started.

That is what I found most intriguing about this thread.


Peace to all

 

[Dizneydawn]

My dream job - to work in the movie industry as a costume designer/maker. I just love that stuff. Just finished the costuming for my son's high school play this past weekend - made these drop-dead gorgeous Victorian dresses (you woulda thought I'd have taken a picture - DUH! ) and start tomorrow with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Should be fun!

I am so jealous of any talent involving a needle and thread and it doesn't involve a doctor and ER bill!

I hope my email notifications start working soon - I want to keep up and reply to each of you. Oh, and my dream job is pretty much what I am doing now and working on building...I'm an editor and writer. I love it. PM me if you want details, I don't want to bore you all! But if you're interested, I will tell all!

I will PM because I am very interested!!!
BTW...hope your day keeps looking up!

Rock On!!! I am totally with you. My mind was opened when I went to 6 Flags and couldn't comfortably fit on most of the rides. My goal is also to lose 100 lbs and whats with plus size bras being hideous? I want a cute bra darn it!

What is this....a newbie???? Oh momma...lookie there...she is cute and fluffy and I wanna take her home....can I...can I...huh....can we keep her???:hug:

I've had a pretty good day. My friend and I got to school today to find out that we forgot being on "Wake-up Wednesday". We sent another staff member to the store, and bought healthy food. Veggies, dip (none for me!), cheese and crackers-low fat Wheat Thins. I had a bit, but not toooooo much.

Have a great evening! I have veggies beside me, so I think that I'll be okay. We'll see.

Yeah for Debbb!!!! She is a boxer for the food battle!



I hope you all have a good night...I want success for us all...I would like to buy a round of BIKINI"S for us in a year! Okay and one speedo!

 

[HockeyKat]

grumpy, that took a lot of courage to post.

I have so many words in my head but I am really afraid of pouring my heart out here like all of you have. This has been a dark few days and I am amazed at the level of support and understanding I have received from the two offline and one online/offline friends that I have reached out to, though. There really are good people in the world and I need to get over my jaded/cynical self sometimes and realize that.

On the flip side of that, to address what grumpy was talking about, there are bad people too and that transcends gender. I do think that men and women seem to talk different languages sometimes, but basic respect and consideration should be the underlying factor in any conversation, and that is where I think the breakdowns happen. If you start with the feeling that the other is the enemy, there is nowhere to go but down.

I am also amazed at the fact that this thread has seemed to bring together people who, in different cities and states and stages of life, have common threads in their real lives.

to everyone that needs one tonight.

 

[3DisneyKids]

WOW....so much to say tonight!

3DKids, you can do it. Why not stick to the SB for another couple of weeks. Get out and move (me, who would like to be reincarnated as a sloth, says that ) and see how you are at the end of the month. Since you've had success before, I'd just give it a little more time. How exciting to be offered your dream job! Great pics, btw!

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I really needed to hear it today. Glad you liked the pics...that was "way back" before digital cameras, so they had to be scanned a while back and aren't that clear. But I look at those pics often as it was such a wonderful time for me.

3 Disney Kids....I am not sure if you stated how old you are...but there is a womens radio talk show on here ...FM 107...they are Podcast I know...and they have 2 women who are best friends...SIL's and now are on the radio. They are called Lori and Julia Show. Hilarious....gossip, Hollywood and real women feelings and issues.

I am so jealous about your time working with the dolphins....that too is a great dream of mine but since i was hideous in math and science....good luck with marine biology. Can't I just have one to swim with like they did in Flipper???

I am 38--I think most of us here are right around the same age range. And when I get a moment, I will check out the radio show/podcast. And YES....it was SBF rolls that I discovered!

BTW, you can swim with the dolphins at Epcot!

If I have my facts right, you are a college professor, a marine life edcuator/rescuer, and an aerobics instructor. Your plot just keeps thickening.

Many of those things were in past lives. Currently, I am just a college professor/political analyst and mom to my 3 kiddos.

But the good news? I weighed in at WW this morning, and I am down 3.8 this week! And 28 total!

Can I hear a WOO-HOO for SeptemberGirk!!!??? Way to go! I am so happy for you keep going!

As for me, I feel MUCH better today. Not sure what happened in that awful torture chamber known as the 3-way mirror, but I woke up today and my clothes fit a bit more loosely, so things are moving in the right direction. Phew! Feel like I dodged a bullet there.

So I will stay the course.

grumpyyoungguy--thank you so much for sharing your story. I am well aware that not all men are idiots and I certainly count you as among the good ones! And there are awful women out there as well. Evil has no gender. You seem to be very honest with yourself, which I think is a HUGE and wonderful thing...particularly when it comes to weight loss.

Ok--still more catching up to do on this thread!

 

[goofyfan-12]

Hi Everyone...

Go to a few meetings and you miss out on so much....

First off to Grumps (is it ok that I call you that... I suspect you are not really that grumpy at heart, but since that is your screen name, I am going with it...)... WOW!!!! I am very impressed by your honesty in sharing so much about yourself. You are absolutely correct in that women can be just as evil as men when it comes to relationships. I hope that you are now on the road towards finding the life that you want because in the end that is what we all deserve. My heart goes out to you with all that you have been through. Making the decision to finally end your marriage could not have been easy. I am in awe of your strength and you have certainly have my respect for standing up for yourself and going after the life you believe in. I hope you don't think of this group as a bunch of man bashing women because I think deep down, we are not. We are all just trying to work on the issues that we face in our lives so that we can find a way to stop using food as the solution. We all have something to share and something to learn from each other and your voice is as much a part of this group as anyone else's...

I am a little at a disadvantage to most of you in that I am not married, nor have I ever really had a real relationship with someone at the level that you all have. I have always been overweight and at the receiving end of other people's cruel jokes since I was a child. As a result, I have barricaded those parts of me from the world that are critical to having an honest, loving relationship with someone so that I wouldn't get hurt again. Let me tell you, it s*cks being the last one from your college group of friends to not have a significant other and it s*cks coming home to an empty house every night. Hearing all of your stories is so inspiring to me. Someday, I hope to have the same strength as all of you who have taken control of your lives so that I can open up and put the most precious part of me out there for someone to love - my heart. I'm not there yet, but I am working on it.

Thank you all for helping me take a few more steps towards that goal.

Have a great night!!!!
Goof

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Not sure what happened in that awful torture chamber known as the 3-way mirror, but I woke up today and my clothes fit a bit more loosely, so things are moving in the right direction. Phew! Feel like I dodged a bullet there.

Torture chamber is an understatement! Pair that mirror with those oh-so flattering fluorescent lights and that should classify as cruel and unusual punishment!!!

 

[AKASnowWhite]

grumpy, that took a lot of courage to post. .....there are bad people too and that transcends gender. I do think that men and women seem to talk different languages sometimes, but basic respect and consideration should be the underlying factor in any conversation, and that is where I think the breakdowns happen. If you start with the feeling that the other is the enemy, there is nowhere to go but down.

AMEN!

 

[grumpyyoungguy]

I am so grateful that everyone was willing to read what I wrote and understand I am not bashing anyone ( well ok maybe one person ). No really, I am never out to bash or condem anyone. That is truly not my nature. Whatever God gives me I will overcome. I know everyone one here will have the same blessings. BTW I will be 39 in February.

Goof== you are right I am not really grumpy (that is our secret don't tell anyone, ok?) You can call me grumps anytime. On a side note I noticed you were not the "first" one to get married etc... your heart is beautiful. I know when the time is right you will find that one to trust with that gift. I was the "first" and it didn't work out very well ( I think you are the smart one). So here is my cheer: To late life loves, may they be everything that dreams are made of.

Hockeykat & Snow White== Thanks for the support

To the newbies==Thanks for joining we need all the help we can get. Jump in the water is fine.

To everyone else== I appreciate the support. Now back to our regularly scheduled comedy break. what were we talking about anyway? Oh yeah, Dawn was offering bikinis and speedo ....I am a two piecer, looking for a tankini make it a lime green size (dam* that thing is going to bust !!!!) that is a XXXL to you and me.

Dang I just realized after sitting here for a few minutes that I have lost something very important to me.....ladies don't back up it may be on the floor....

 

[SeptemberGirl]

I am so grateful that everyone was willing to read what I wrote and understand I am not bashing anyone ( well ok maybe one person ). No really, I am never out to bash or condem anyone. That is truly not my nature. Whatever God gives me I will overcome. I know everyone one here will have the same blessings. BTW I will be 39 in February.

Goof== you are right I am not really grumpy (that is our secret don't tell anyone, ok?) You can call me grumps anytime. On a side note I noticed you were not the "first" one to get married etc... your heart is beautiful. I know when the time is right you will find that one to trust with that gift. I was the "first" and it didn't work out very well ( I think you are the smart one). So here is my cheer: To late life loves, may they be everything that dreams are made of.

Hockeykat & Snow White== Thanks for the support

To the newbies==Thanks for joining we need all the help we can get. Jump in the water is fine.

To everyone else== I appreciate the support. Now back to our regularly scheduled comedy break. what were we talking about anyway? Oh yeah, Dawn was offering bikinis and speedo ....I am a two piecer, looking for a tankini make it a lime green size (dam* that thing is going to bust !!!!) that is a XXXL to you and me.

Dang I just realized after sitting here for a few minutes that I have lost something very important to me.....ladies don't back up it may be on the floor....

Late to the party - as usual! but I wanted to respond.

I am so glad you shared your story - it took guts and heart.

I hope it didn't seem like I was on the Men are Idiots soapbox...and you are right, men want to fix. I know that, and I know that calling my girlfriend or mom would have given me a more focused response, and I appreciate that my husband wants to stand up for me. But turning to others for support doesn't build my marriage up.

The reason I called him and said, in these words "I need your help and your support" was because i do have a great network outside of my marriage that helps me through most things - my mom's cancer, my inlaws, parenting, weight, etc. It's great to have the friends I have in my life - this thread included - but if I don't turn to my spouse, the person who is supposed to be my partner in life, then my marriage doesn't get stronger, it atrophies.

I have been married for 8.5 years, and sometimes it's been heaven and sometimes it's been hell. I want it to work and thrive, so I have to look to him as a friend, not just a spouse. And i say that and share my disappointment when it's frustrating because I am trying.

I am not good at asking for help (wow, understatement of the century) so when i reach out and am left alone crying, it's hard. But I know I have to keep trying to bridge the gaps and lean on him.

I hope this makes sense. I am not down on men - I am just trying so hard and it's frustrating. I know and love many wonderful men, my husband included, but that doesn't make the differences between the sexes any easier!

Thank God we have a man on here! We need your perspective!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Thank God we have a man on here! We need your perspective!

TOTALLY AGREE! Don't abandon us, Grumps!

 

[Dizneydawn]

I believe my ex wife was always there because she thought she wanted a family but never knew that there was something else behind the Norman Rockwell print (work and dedication). You see there is no magic bullet for a relationship that is not working.

You HAVE GOT TO WORK on it.

So true...My soon to be ex said that he is not a person to give hugs, remember birthdays, pat me on the as* everytime i turn around (not sexually...although that was lacking as well) and he never would be that person.
When I said that I had always tried to become interested or at least educated in his interests...things about him that I knew he enjoyed...he said "I know you always did." When I asked why he did not ever feel the need to return the favor...he had no idea. Plain and simple...he just is not that type of person.
What really is hard...letting go of that guilt that says maybe I am just self centered and was asking for too much. But I think that in 17 years...a kiss not involving the bedroom and a sense of trust that the person you are building a life with...wants a life with you, should not be that much.

There was never one fight where I didn't assume it was over. How fatalstic is that. The best is that I just assumed he would leave me...not that I would have the courage to say...we can't live like this anymore. I can't live without love in my home between the husband and the wife.

There was so little touch in our home with us...that my daughter used to say she hated dancing with boys at a dance because it is just akward when they touch her. Who would she learn that there is loving touch from if she never experienced it at home. My ex and I spoke about this. He was awesome about understanding this component for her and started hugging her more...telling her he loved her more and she loves that. The sad issue though...why could he never understand I needed that too. I told him enough...I was not a priority to him though. Neither was our marriage.

So Thank you for being a brave enough man to be at a better place for you and your girls. Thanks for taking a group of women on this weight loss journey with you and your heart journey too.

grumpy, that took a lot of courage to post.

I have so many words in my head but I am really afraid of pouring my heart out here like all of you have. This has been a dark few days and I am amazed at the level of support and understanding I have received from the two offline and one online/offline friends that I have reached out to, though. There really are good people in the world and I need to get over my jaded/cynical self sometimes and realize that.

On the flip side of that, to address what grumpy was talking about, there are bad people too and that transcends gender. I do think that men and women seem to talk different languages sometimes, but basic respect and consideration should be the underlying factor in any conversation, and that is where I think the breakdowns happen. If you start with the feeling that the other is the enemy, there is nowhere to go but down.

I am also amazed at the fact that this thread has seemed to bring together people who, in different cities and states and stages of life, have common threads in their real lives.

to everyone that needs one tonight.

So well said my friend. Everything. I am glad you have knowledge that there are people to be a community of support for you. You have everything you need to believe in yourself...the question is do you? I do. You are also dead on about consideration...if you don't put another first ever...how can you set the pace for this race we call life?

Hi Everyone...

I am a little at a disadvantage to most of you in that I am not married, nor have I ever really had a real relationship with someone at the level that you all have. I have always been overweight and at the receiving end of other people's cruel jokes since I was a child. As a result, I have barricaded those parts of me from the world that are critical to having an honest, loving relationship with someone so that I wouldn't get hurt again. Let me tell you, it s*cks being the last one from your college group of friends to not have a significant other and it s*cks coming home to an empty house every night. Hearing all of your stories is so inspiring to me. Someday, I hope to have the same strength as all of you who have taken control of your lives so that I can open up and put the most precious part of me out there for someone to love - my heart. I'm not there yet, but I am working on it.

Goof

I know you will be raptured by a true love that will start and end your day with a smile and a glow in your heart. My sister too is single and sometimes feels very alone...but the positives that she did not make a hurried decesion and negatively impact children are also a blessing. There is no perfect life...just like hair women...you always want what you don't have. Mine is naturally curly and I get so crazed my women who say I am so lucky. I have the same hairstyle since the 80's...minus mall bangs...so no versatility there...unless I straighten it...and then if it rains or is hummid...back to White Girl Afro R Us!

Open that heart and believe in the truth that there are men out there who need to be accepted too...don't shortchange someone elses life because taking you out of the equation would be doing exactly that.

I hope this makes sense. I am not down on men - I am just trying so hard and it's frustrating. I know and love many wonderful men, my husband included, but that doesn't make the differences between the sexes any easier!

Thank God we have a man on here! We need your perspective!

Girl...even though he did not just listen and work a plan together...you are right that youknow you need to keep building that bond betwen the two of you. And when I get up to the gates...heaven preferably...God has some splainin to do on why we both speak english (put your language in here) but it comes out as Charlie Brown's teacher. WHAA WHA WHA WHAAA.....

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

grump- I so appreciate your story and I appreciate another perspective. You know I'm the "men are idiots" basher, and I should have said "alot of men are idiots." Apparrently you are not one of them. Your life thus far has been very traumatizing and that you are able to joke around here, make the responsible decision to leave your marriage, and pick up the pieces of your life is inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

I guess my problem with men, not all men, but quite a few, base many decisions with regard First to their p***s. And I realize that is the way God made them, but I, as a woman, don't respect that, not even one tiny little bit. I'll try to not say any more about it, but it is a recurring thread in so many lives, and pretty impossible to ignore.

I am floored by the hold you all have on me. Like grump- regarding other threads, alot of the time here on the DIS I feel so invisible. And having all this interaction is fun. With strangers. Now friends.

Goof-what you shared, was so personal. On many levels. Thanks for the trust.

On a lighter note: while I haven't taken complete control over my eating, my scales are reading lighter. I think it's the slim fast. So, I'm gonna keep on keeping on.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

There are so many faithful on this thread now I feel like I'm not responding to everyone and your stories are getting blurred.

I'd like to do a cast. If you'd pm me the following info, I'll add it to this post. Full disclosure is NOT necessary. Share what you want.

Username, real name, age, location, job or lack thereof, married, kids, animals, hobbys, anything else you want to add

CAST:

Dizneydawn:...real name =Dawn,(I am so creative) Minnesota, 36.5, seperated w/ divorce immenent...3 great kids (Treyner son 17, Carsyn daughter 14, Baylor son 12)...2 degrees (social work and criminal justice) but found my calling in Tupperware. I love outdoor activities but my body right now screams couch potato...like to write, dream of traveling, love watching kids soccer and football games...believe that everyone has a photo album of their life and no one picture defines the whole album. If you are not happy with your current picture...take a new one and flip the page!

I may have been the one to start this thread...but I am not ever going to take credit for it's success. I am so proud to be amongst all these gifted and talented people and this has been proof for me that there is divine intervention....how else would this thread and all it's components be possible?

DisneyWorld Delight: Liz, Southern Ohio, 30.8, construction office & homemaker, married for 12 years, 2 girls 12 & 4, weiner dog (9 yrs old), baking and Disney. My username is a take off of Dixie Land Delight.

Grumpyyoungguy: Dan, 38.9,Omaha NE/Minneapolis MN, Corporate Trainer, Divorcing, 2 kids girls 13 & 11, 2 cats (also gravitationally challenged like me )(didn't get visitation rights )., love to drive bought a 2007 Mustang GT and (almost)anything active, Live your life. I once read a plaque that said " fear nothing, regret nothing, challenge everything" I want that to be my mission for the rest of my life.

HockeyKat: Kathryn, 32, North Carolina, software engineer for a bank, married for 2.5 years, no kids and no plans for any, 1 cat (Trinity), love hockey (hence username), singing/playing music

3DisneyKids:
Erika
Maine
38
Married--11 years
3 Kids (duh--screen name! Son 8, daughters 5 & 6)
College Professor
Hobbies....outdoor activties--hiking, camping, boating, swimming, etc.
Amount need to lose: 35 pounds

Goofyfan-12: My real name is Paula and I live and work in upstate, NY. I am an architect by education and a construction manager by experience and I love my job. I work primarily on large commercial buildings but have done some residential work too. I am not married and have no children yet but who knows what the future will hold. As you can tell from my screen name, I am a fan of Goofy and always have been. Not sure why, but I just love the guy. I had a Goofy watch for as long as I can remember and I actually got a little giddy when I saw the Goofy cartoon on the screen before the latest National Treasure movie. So that is a little about me... Holler if you need anything more.

SeptemberGirl: Liz, 33, married 8.5 years, one daughter, 3.5 years old. Lives in NJ ten minutes from the beach and an hour from NYC. Former full-time book editor in NYC, now a freelance editor and writer. Passionate about music, loves to read (duh!), loves her family and her close friends who are her family, too. Terrific at organizing, bad at asking for help, recovering perfectionist! Doesn't consider herself a Disney addict even though she's been there 3 times in the last year. Tends to the serious side but believes in magic and loves people who make her laugh. Happy to be here. Call me NJLiz if it makes it easier!

believen: Vicki, 42, Texas, wife, Mom , do-er of all things that must be done. married 22 years.
3 kids-daughter 20, son 18, and son 17- all still at home and I'm all for it.
3 more soon- nephew 11, nephew 9, and niece 8.
2 dogs- Roxy (corgi) Charlie (chihuahua)
I enjoy scrapbooking, planning and traveling, concerts (as in rock, country, etc. the kids call them "shows" now?)
I'm a listener by nature. Even if I don't chime in much, I'm here listening, enjoying and cheering you on!
screenname for several reasons- Believen in: God, a better tomorrow, my kids, my husband, a happily ever after, in the magic, in myself and everyone here

Larry's Girl:
Real Name: Susan
Age: almost 43
Location: Metro Atlanta
Job: Legal Secretary
Married: Very much so, almost 24 years now
Kids: One DD, almost 20
Animals: Three dogs and two cats
Hobbies: DisneyWorld (of course), reading, singing

Need to lose a lot of weight (191 pounds). Will take all the support I can get, since I have trouble with emotional eating like a lot of us. Hope to be able to contribute something positive on this thread, also.

akasnowwhite:
Real Name: Nancy
Age: (are you supposed to ask????) only kidding - I'm 41 (but I'm told I'm more immature than my teenagers!)
Location: Connecticut
Job: great question. The one I get paid for is cooking/baking PT in the farm kitchen of a local apple orchard.
Married: almost 20 years - and most of those very happily
Kids: 3. DS 16.5, DS almost 15, DD12
Animals: you may be sorry you asked. We have 2 black cats (hmmm...is that bad luck?), roughly 20 chickens and a barn full of goats - with the addition of 3 new babies in the past 2 days I think we are currently at 37...but that number will be skyrocketing as all our girls give birth in the upcoming months
Hobbies: oh - that work that I DON'T get paid for?? Well, my goats for starts. I make goat milk soap, and cheese....I'm a 4H leader (my goats & my children....) and I volunteer a lot with the school drama club - hence the previously mentioned costume making.

I currently don't have a whole lot of weight left to lose. I lost 45 pounds on WW, and recently suffered a bit of a set-back regaining 10 pounds. I want to get that 10 pounds back off. And I need to figure out "why" I have issues with food and even more with self-perception. Because as Jillian said on the BL the other night (paraphrase here)- I can help you take the weight off, but until you deal with the "why" you won't be able to keep it off.

So that's me. In a nutshell. Oh - and I am completely ADD. (ok, maybe not clinically, but....trust me...I am very easily distracted)

Debbie:
Real Name: Can you guess?
Age: Let's same that I am very....experienced.
Location: Southern Ontario (that'd be closer to the equator than some of you).
Job: Elementary school teacher-first and second grades and I LOVE my job! It has changed over the past 30+ years, but
Married: Oh, yeah. Didn't get married or start my family until I was 30, but we'll celebrate 25 years next year. He is the kindest, gentlest man around.
Kids: five-1 searching for his path (just quit college at Christmas ), 2 at university, and 2 in high school-so still at home. Each is wonderful, but, believe me, they are the cause of every grey hair on my head! My dream would be to have them all find the path that they are destined to be upon and to follow their dreams successfully.
Animals: two very spoiled cats and 1 goldfish
Hobbies: DisneyWorld (of course), reading, television, planning SMARTboard lessons for school, computer, and just vegging.
My current goal is to get back to ONEderland

chbc:
Heather
41
WA
Teacher
Married-22 years
2 kiddos-DS-11, DD-7
Cocker Spaniel- 8 mos.

**Unauthorized Casting**
(hope you don't mind, but I am piecing together other's info)

milestogo:
Kelly
California
Married
DD

 

[grumpyyoungguy]

There are so many faithful on this thread now I feel like I'm not responding to everyone and your stories are getting blurred.

I'd like to do a cast. If you'd pm me the following info, I'll add it to this post. Full disclosure is NOT necessary. Share what you want.

Username, real name, age, location, job or lack thereof, married, kids, animals, hobbys, anything else you want to add

CAST: Grumpyyoungguy, Dan, 38.9,Omaha NE/Minneapolis MN, Corporate Trainer, Divorcing, 2 kids girls 13 & 11, 2 cats (also gravitationally challenged like me )(didn't get visitation rights )., love to drive bought a 2007 Mustang GT and (almost)anything active, Live your life. I once read a plaque that said " fear nothing, regret nothing, challenge everything" I want that to be my mission for the rest of my life.

Diszneydawn: is that like Delta Dawn? Author of this thread, saving this spot for you.

DisneyWorld Delight: Liz, Southern Ohio, 30.8, construction office & homemaker, married for 12 years, 2 girls 12 & 4, weiner dog (9 yrs old), baking and Disney. My username is a take off of Dixie Land Delight.

I know you said to PM but I don't care if people know my life story. I am an open book.

 

[3DisneyKids]

I'd like to do a cast. If you'd pm me the following info, I'll add it to this post. Full disclosure is NOT necessary. Share what you want.

Username, real name, age, location, job or lack thereof, married, kids, animals, hobbys, anything else you want to add

Great idea, Liz! Thanks for doing this. I, too, was starting to get it all confused. PMd you everything.

 

[goofyfan-12]

DWDelight - great idea for the cast listing... I'll PM my info shortly...

Thanks to all for the kind words regarding my last post. This thread has been so helpful to me and I can't really explain why. Hearing all of your stories about how you are coping with everything life throws at you as well as how that impacts your weight has been truly inspirational. I think there is something in the somewhat anonymity of this board that allows me to be more open to sharing my thoughts and feelings that real life doesn't always allow. I'm not sure if this makes sense or not, but for some reason you all are just clicking with me and helping me to find out more about myself and I owe you all a huge THANK YOU for that!!!

Back in October, I made the decision to start on a journey towards what I call, a new me. After spending years trying to find love (and failing), I finally came to the realization that I couldn't expect someone to love me when I didn't love myself, so I set out trying to find me again and to love myself and whatever that entailed. I knew that I would have to be honest with myself about my thoughts and feelings towards life and decided to start with the things that impacted my life the most. The #1 thing on the list was my weight. There was so much that I wanted to do in life, but had chose to avoid because my weight prevented me (either physically or emotionally) from completing the task. It was then that I knew that it was time to do something about it because I was sick of watching life pass me by.

I also made the decision to start sharing these thoughts with a few selected people in my life in the hopes of having that support that I never really had during past dieting experiences. So far - my reaching out for help has really blossomed and I am opening myself up a little more to the people around me. I am getting more comfortable with me and my new lifestyle and while I have an ideal weight in my head that I am shooting for, I am listening for my body to tell me what it is happy when I get there (although, body - please don't hit that happy place for at least another 75 pounds...).

I haven't reached the end of my journey, but so far I am loving every minute of the trip. I am in this for the long haul and I know I will be a better person as a result. I know I just met you all, but I hope you all continue to be a part of the journey. I know I am a better person now because of it...

OK - enough with the sappy stuff...

What's everyone eating today???? I am working my way off of a carb loading night last night. My eating plan got all kind of screwed up and I ended up eating not only a donut, but a homemade blondie bar at the meeting I was at last night.... What the he** was I thinking... Guess I need to walk an extra night this week to make up for it...

Goof