In Search of My Body - Not the One I Ate, VOL 8...It's Never Too Late To Start Again!

[DisneyGalUK]

Hi Everyone!

Let's try this....

WOW!!!!! Just Wow, Paula - you look fantastic!

Speaking of whilst. Where is Kelly?!?!?

Im here!

Its been mega crazy around here the past week, work, life in general - you know!

Good news is I am well on track with the healthy eating! DH has finally decided to join me in eating healthier food so the extra support can only be a good thing!

Lisa - Good to have you back! I knew you would like the MIL story!

Meg - So happy for you with the great dates!

Sunny - Welcome back

Liz, EE, Amy, Nancy, Jo, E, Steph, Kat, Everyone - Hi

Im still waiting for my New Moon DVD to come It was supposed to be here yesterday but no show so far!

E - When it comes I think I might take a leaf out of your book and watch it whilst exercising - pop on the DVD and jump on the cross trainer!

Hope everyone is having a great day!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Kelly--so glad you checked in! Sounds like everything is going well!

Oh, BL tonight! Did you all know that Sam and Stephanie are an item? I swear, that show is the best love connection on tv. Stephanie is my fave and I am hoping that she wins, though it isn't looking likely.

I am SO behind with work. Totally in the weeds. *sigh* It happens. If I can have two strong work days in a row, I will be free and clear again. But I am totally unmotivated. If faced with grading a stack of (bad) papers or going to the gym, I pick the gym every time.

Oh, and I hope to have another installment of the TR done later tonight, because again, that wins out over work!

 

[cantwaitvaca09]

WARNING!!!! EMOTIONAL OUTBURST

When I first posted on your thread, I had posted that I worry about everything all the "WHAT IF'S" and with all of your advice I have been trying to not let the what if's get to me so much, I think being focused on my running and weight loss is helping me. UNTIL.... Tonight. ( I'm crying as I type this)

I understand if you ladies ask me to stop posting in your thread after you read this.

I know my life is good, I have a job, DH's has a job, The girls are healthy, DH & I are healthy, I love our house, we have nice neighbors, money is tight, but money will always be tight.

So what's the issue...

knowing that I have all of the above, I feel like something is going to happen, I am going to die at a young age and not see my girls grow up, or something terrible will happen to my girls. ect. I just wish that I could convince myself that everything is going to be fine and ENJOY life.
I do tell myself, if I keep waiting for "something to happen," I am going to miss out on so much while worrying about it.

Why do I do this to myself. Could it just be PMS? Am I crazy? Do I just need a good heart pounding run and all these worries will go away?

Thank you so much for letting me say this.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Jo--breathe. It's ok. We aren't going to kick you off the thread.

I have a couple of questions...how long have you felt like this? Always since teen age years? Or just since becoming a mom? Pregnancy changes women hormonally in a TON of ways, not just the ways we think/know. All sort of brain chemicals change balance, etc. It alters how we think and how we process emotions. Some women sail through it, some have a harder time, but we all come out changed in one way or another. So give me some background here...let's see what we can figure out. But relax. You aren't going to die young tonight. Start there. I am not making of fun of you--I am trying to ground you. Just for tonight. You are home and safe.

Listen, my Ph.D. is in Behavioral Science. I specialize in why people behave the way they do. And although this isn't my specific specialty area and I would NEVER give out any "real" advice in an anonymous internet forum, I might be able to point you in the right direction.

Hang in there.

 

[cantwaitvaca09]

Thanks E,

I would say I have felt this way sence becoming a mom. Before I had Alexa's I did not worry about that much, it was just me. I use to think, ("well if I;m dead, I won't be sad or hurt, I can't feel it I'm dead.)

In my 20's I use to go out for a run at 5AM in the dark, no cell phone, head phones in my ears as loud as can be and I would have never thought, is this safe.

I think I feel this way for two reasons,

1) I did not grow up with my mother, and I worry that my girls wont either. My BIGGEST FEAR, is somethings happens to me or them. *cry*

2) I get alot of request at work for a donation for this or that, sick kid, hurt parent, injured kid. (I work for a resort) and I read them and think, how am I so lucky. *cry*

 

[HockeyKat]

Oh Jo. I so understand what you are saying. I used to be this way something *awful*. I worried ALL the time, every time DH would leave the house I would worry all sorts of bad things had happened, etc. etc. Plus many more things, all logicially nothing to worry about but I just couldn't stop.

It's an awful feeling... knots in your stomach, racing heart, clammy hands, etc.

I wish I could tell you what made things better for me, but I really can't. Somewhere in the last 4-5 years, it has just... stopped. I do occasionally get anxiety (being alone in the house overnight can, sometimes), but nothing as *all* like I used to. Although, now that I think about it, I have changed birth control? Are you on any?

Also, if I remember correctly, your DH is a policeman, no? I can imagine that is very stressful.

Please, never feel like we aren't here to listen.

 

[cantwaitvaca09]

Thank you Kat. DH does not understand, he thinks I am nuts.

Yes DH is a cop. And I hear ya on the being at home at night alone.

AND YES YES YES I just started yet another birthcontrol. its been about 3 weeks, I was on this one before for about a year, I only stopped because my insurance changed, and now back on it because the other one was awful.

 

[HockeyKat]

I have been on Yaz now for over a year. So far it is the best one I have been on. I liked Yasmin but never really tied the anxiety in at all until now, and the generic version of Yasmin (Ocella?) gave me migraines.

I am hoping to get Mirena (IUD) since my insurance has changed... I tried last year but they wouldn't cover it.

My DH thought I was nuts too. Phrases like "just get over it" don't really help at all.

 

[cantwaitvaca09]

I have been on Yaz now for over a year. So far it is the best one I have been on. I liked Yasmin but never really tied the anxiety in at all until now, and the generic version of Yasmin (Ocella?) gave me migraines.

I am hoping to get Mirena (IUD) since my insurance has changed... I tried last year but they wouldn't cover it.

My DH thought I was nuts too. Phrases like "just get over it" don't really help at all.

OMG, my DH said the same thing, just about 30 mins ago.
now I am on YAZ, (it has a $20.00 discount card) the one I just had to get off was LoEstrin, and before that I was on Ocella, and OMG the migraines, but I never thought they were from the bill.

I am so thankfull for all of you on this board!!!

 

[goofyfan-12]

Jo - sending you hugs and understanding. Don't ever feel that you can't post out of concern that we won't read it. We do read what you say and want to see you succeed in your life. I wish I had something more to offer but the folks here are doing a fine job and since I don't have children, I can't fully relate to the position that you are in. Know that your feelings have worth and meaning and that you will find compassion here.

 

[cantwaitvaca09]

Jo - sending you hugs and understanding. Don't ever feel that you can't post out of concern that we won't read it. We do read what you say and want to see you succeed in your life. I wish I had something more to offer but the folks here are doing a fine job and since I don't have children, I can't fully relate to the position that you are in. Know that your feelings have worth and meaning and that you will find compassion here.

Thanks Paula,
By the way, I smile every time I see your side by side pic.
You look great!

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Panic attacks. OMG I used to have the.worst.panic attacks. For seemingly no apparent reason. Completely irrational thoughts, fears that were paralyzing to me.

So, yes Jo, I can understand. It is so not fun. But you can get thru it.

 

[3DisneyKids]

OMG, Nancy! I am about to post the CUTEST pic of us. We are both SO silly in it, which is why I love it. I have been giggling about it all day.

 

[lisaviolet]

Jo - I'm so sorry. And very sorry that your husband isn't being more compassionate. Don't ever think you can't post things here. Ever. I smiled when you said that - because yoiu have no idea what has been posted here!!!!

I'm so sorry.

Kelly!!!!! That's all.

Erika - don't tease with the picture.

I so have to catch up with your TR. I have so much to say but I'm so drained. But man you both would have HATED me. I know I wouldn't have been with you when you finished at that early time - but you two would have figured out how to get rid of me. I NEVER could have pulled off your fairy tales - one and I would have had to find a priest and I'm not even Catholic. Jean she would have LOVED it. LOVED. I haven't even told her what you two were up to but boy would she have been impressed.

Hi everyone.

 

[adsrtw]

Hey everybody!

Jo - I would check out the side effects, IMO. Hang in there! No you aren't crazy.

Kat - love my mirena. Mood swings went out the window! Other stuff too!

E - love the BL love fest

Nancy - have your recovered yet?

Lisa - glad you are back

Kelly - hope work continues to go well for you

Paula - thinking about you today

Liz - feeling better yet?

Did I get everybody? Looking forward to starting my weekend at 11am tomorrow!

 

[lisaviolet]

At Kidani -

My parent's room -

At the Poly -

 

[lisaviolet]

 

[adsrtw]

Lisa, you always have the greatest opportunities for pictures. Beautiful!

 

[lisaviolet]

Cause it was yummy - WPE

 

[lisaviolet]

Lisa, you always have the greatest opportunities for pictures. Beautiful!

Thanks Amiee. This was the first trip I was insanely jealous of everyone walking int to the parks. I need me some park passes now. It's been a couple of years. So nice distraction.