In search of my body...not the one I ate! Part Deux... We sit at the popular table!

[goofyfan-12]

Ok, I am writing a BIG long post. Probably be in 30 minutes. But this is for you KAT!



Stay strong. If you need me to, I'll go back and find all the stress induced posts due to your current job and the suckage of your life by your boss. He needs you. Didn't appreciate you when he had you. His loss. Of which you should kindly explain. Remind him, you are a "3" and his team really needs "4's."

Kat - listen to her.... this was very well said.... Your current boss doesn't deserve you.... Now is the time to prove to them why... give them 110% up until the day you leave.... They'll figure it out and by then you will be enjoying your new gig too much to even think about the old one...

Paula

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

The Daisy one, about friends. (deleted, too big)

Grumps - this one REALLY cracked me up. (and I'm not willing to wear a tshirt that explains I have lost weight. I'd like people to think I have always looked a fabulous as I am gonna!)

OMG! Awesome! What do you mean OK??? Freaking FABULOUS! Especially considering that you are at the fair!

I will be updating the challenge chart shortly. You are in the lead! GODDESS CROWN!

Remember I'm in the "honeymoon" phase, so I have lots of easy fat to lose.

I'm kind of bummed though, Bruce has to work all day, so i'm going to breakfast with a friend but really have nothing planned b/c i'm not sure when he is getting out

Ahhh...one of these days, you'll be glad he's at work and you have the house to yourself!

My cousin and her family are here - 3 kids, 10, 6, and 3. We had a party for Nick's birthday with my bff Greenie and her husband, my parents, the inlaws. It was good. Going to the beach tomorrow, so the car is all packed. Just have to pack the coolers! I am definitely going to use all my extra points this weekend, but hey. That's life. This is real life, and the fact is, this is the FIRST summer of my LIFE that I have not gained. So small losses are a big victory.

Yes, i do get hungover, E, but on the flip side, I weigh in lighter the next day. No kidding. Lots of beer last night and weighed in 3 lbs less. But it doesn't count. Still. Maybe I need to try that before weigh-in next week! Ha!

Okay, night my friends. Catch you tomorrow!

Another busy weekend! Seriously Liz - you gotta get a life.

I am switching sights for WW...Carsyn cannot go anymore for now on the days they have open in my town(soccer practice and games) ...and truthfully - 6-10 people not very motivating esp. when no one lese but 2 talks...I need interaction...so I am combining a new sight with a grocery store to Sams run every week...think it will help me buy well...and it is 30 miles away so no wasted gas then either...I just was feeling depressed after each meeting...not very motivated...and I am cheap like Kat - so if it aint working...make it work...don't throw money down the tube because then it is just gone...I was feeling guilty about switching...but why? I don't owe them anything right? I mean the leader and I are not BFF's and I need a place that will fit and has more availibility then 2 times a week...since my schedule is nuts...

Yes, you should move, and no, you should not feel bad. I am the SAME way. They are not gonna lose sleep, so you shouldn't either.

Treyner is being inindated with more offers from colleges...

Good DEAL!!!

Check in Tom...Gotta get to a mtg on Monday cause I leave Wed morning for Orlando for 4 1/2 days...no mouse for me though...all biz I am afraid...how freakin depressing is that...I feel like I have a leash around me and I am within reach....but alas...I can stare and stare... but can't get there...

So close, yet so far away! Maybe you can go to the outlet mall? Have a good trip. It'll be good to get away, no?

I am so not a girl.




Job situation:
I got the job I wanted, but they have "redefined the role" and so I am not quite as excited about it. I did accept, but am second-guessing and sent the HR chick a bunch of questions about the new team and the environment. It was also 5K less than my highest offer (and D was pissed) so I asked about wiggle room... the commute is 20 miles less so that is a consideration, too.

Of course he was. Gotta go where you are happy. You're still making more money right?

I thought I would be really excited on Friday, but I wound up feeling sort of bad and let down. Not sure why.

Change is so hard. Even when you are miserable, you know what to expect. You are stepping out. Good for you!

Hey everyone!

I am back on dry land. Good week-end overall. Finally had decent weather, so boating was good.

And here is where you insert: I got my camera off the boat and here are the pics of S.T. house!

I'm sitting here in Tucson until Thursday, which I can tell by the humidity is NOT Florida.

Umm, you like the humidity?

You'ld think I was going to run a marathon, but my name isn't Erika so let's get that idea out of our heads please...

I had a terrible night sleep because of Riley.

I'm sure he's fine and having a Blast!

Steph!- I love reading your stories. You have an interesting life there, girly!

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Ok, I am writing a BIG long post. Probably be in 30 minutes. But this is for you KAT!



Stay strong. If you need me to, I'll go back and find all the stress induced posts due to your current job and the suckage of your life by your boss. He needs you. Didn't appreciate you when he had you. His loss. Of which you should kindly explain. Remind him, you are a "3" and his team really needs "4's."

Oh you are a goddess i was trying to find the right words last night to tell her and you just said them PERFECT!!!!!

 

[3DisneyKids]

KAT--hang in there. The right job with the right offer is already there in the mix. You just have to sort it out a bit and you WILL. F your current boss. (Ok, not literally...figuratively only, please! ) He had his chance, he blew it, you hate it there, buh-bye. SO proud of you for making this happen for you

You will get your eating back under control. You are Kat, goddess of weight loss and calorie counting. That part of you has just been on vacation while Kat, Goddess of Getting a New Job was in charge. And that is ok...she needed to be in charge for a while. Now weight loss Kat will be back. No worries.

I have yet to do my long run! Aaargh. Looks like it will be at 2 or so this afternoon. My dad is coming home today, which is great news, but I need to help get him settled, etc.

Camera--damn, Lyz! I can't believe you remembered that! Seriously though, I have NO freaking clue where it is. I am pretty stressed about it. It had lots of pics on it that I really don't want lost. On the other hand, I am dying for a new digital camera, so...

DEB--awesome job on the rides you have been posting. Hoping AZ is working out well. Just say NO to the vending machines in the hotel.

LIZ--where the hell are you?

Dawn--yeah, it may be best to stay away from the water for a bit! At least you can laugh about it. Check in after WW. Hope you like this meeting better. I agree, you need a meeting that is right for you and Carsyn.

Sorry she is giving up soccer. Though it sounds a bit counter-productive. She wants to lose weight. The soccer coach makes them run. The running will help her lose the weight... No chance she will re-think it?

Soccer is a running game, of course, and doing all of the runs and sprints are fairly standard. Even at Riley's stage of U-10 league they do a lot of running. Being part of a team means dealing with all sorts of coaches...some you will love and others maybe not. It is like teachers that way. But that is part of life. You have to learn to adapt to those people and take what you can from them while realizing that they are maybe not the best at what they do, but they still have something to offer.

PAULA--Here's hoping for a great weigh-in for you tonight!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Hi all!

This weekend was crazy a bit...

1st - I am sure you heard of the Olympic Volleyball coaches in-laws that were stabbed in China. Well it is a very local tie for me...slightly weird...

That is weird. I don't understand why they were hurt. Was is a robbery? Hate crime? All I hear the news reporting on is that they were attacked and the man killed.

She may be more mature than me...

No, You? (jk)

Sure Sh1t enough...tipped to the right...got soaked...while fully dressed...much to the amusement of 100 people having a family picnic...we laughed...the boys laughed...then helped...

Wait, you fell in the questionable water? (E...you know what I'm thinkin'?)

She is mad at her weight...and at her food choices...she has been going to the Ymca by herself for a week...wanting to change her life...

Good for her.

Well...

Maddi has kindergarden camp this week. She loved it this morning.

The weather in Ohio is BE-U-TI-FUL! Seriously. It's like mid-Sept. It's lovely!

I got nothin' else. Just catching up with my life.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Yeah, I TOTALLY know what you are thinking!

 

[Dizneydawn]

KAT--hang in there. The right job with the right offer is already there in the mix. You just have to sort it out a bit and you WILL. F your current boss. (Ok, not literally...figuratively only, please! ) He had his chance, he blew it, you hate it there, buh-bye. SO proud of you for making this happen for you
Here here...
You will get your eating back under control. You are Kat, goddess of weight loss and calorie counting. That part of you has just been on vacation while Kat, Goddess of Getting a New Job was in charge. And that is ok...she needed to be in charge for a while. Now weight loss Kat will be back. No worries.
agreed and nodded
I have yet to do my long run! Aaargh. Looks like it will be at 2 or so this afternoon. My dad is coming home today, which is great news, but I need to help get him settled, etc.

Camera--damn, Lyz! I can't believe you remembered that! Seriously though, I have NO freaking clue where it is. I am pretty stressed about it. It had lots of pics on it that I really don't want lost. On the other hand, I am dying for a new digital camera, so...
scary...
DEB--awesome job on the rides you have been posting. Hoping AZ is working out well. Just say NO to the vending machines in the hotel.
vending=evil
LIZ--where the hell are you?
yeah...what she said?
Dawn--yeah, it may be best to stay away from the water for a bit! At least you can laugh about it. Check in after WW. Hope you like this meeting better. I agree, you need a meeting that is right for you and Carsyn.
I will..
Sorry she is giving up soccer. Though it sounds a bit counter-productive. She wants to lose weight. The soccer coach makes them run. The running will help her lose the weight... No chance she will re-think it?
Yeah..I think she is settled on it as her choice...and the other issue is that some of her friends have quit...so Carsyn is feeling alone...she is a social athlete...not Treyner..."who needs friends it is about myself"...kinda girl...I agree with the running will help..bt she also wants a job..and she can't get one if she is in soccer right now....she is just turning 15...the youngest of her grade..wants to take drivers ed in Sept...can't with soccer..she would have to wait till January...hard for someone already seeing most of her friends driving at 16 alone...she just is not loving soccer with them...and pushing her...makes me afraid she will rebel against the good food choices/excersize she is making...
Soccer is a running game, of course, and doing all of the runs and sprints are fairly standard. I agree...but if you watch the pro's and european soccer...they do not run on a field 2 times the size of hers very much...much more of a passing game...footskill game...keeping the balll away from oponents means not getting scored on...many pro's have said that if they do not give up the ball...they do not have to worry about running because they are not chasing after it...in fact the Fort Lewis coach told Treyner that a goalies job is to talk to his field so the ball never gets shot on net...that if it gets to the point that a goalie has to save the ball...he has failed part of his job requirements already... That helped Treyner huge...and he is now a load mouth on the field all the time... Even at Riley's stage of U-10 league they do a lot of running. Agreed...she needs to be in better shape...and like I was saying...we all know what it is like to know we need to do something...and then do it...she had to get to this on her own..because I was becoming a nag...and she was not hearing me... Being part of a team means dealing with all sorts of coaches...some you will love and others maybe not. It is like teachers that way. But that is part of life. You have to learn to adapt to those people and take what you can from them while realizing that they are maybe not the best at what they do, but they still have something to offer.
Well said...I will have her read this I think...we shall see if she changes her mind r not...I told her the same thing..she will have professors, bosses etc. in her life that do not do things fairly or how she might like them to be...she has to make the decesion to let them beat her...or rise to the challenge...her choices...

At the same time...with 20-25 extra pounds on her...being the heaviest on the field and at 15...body conciousness is a huge factor for her...we all have hated being the fattest in a room...worrying about what a number on a scale wil say...or what people are thinking...this is the first summer that her life is being dictated by her body-image because she hates hers...no swimming...no pool parties...shying away from friends who look better than her...and with the same problems we all have in our adult years...at 15 years of understanding and intelligence...I am glad she is saying...enough...no more will I live like this...and making changes...my agreement with her is that she has to be at the Y 5 times a week and be watching her food choices...and to be seeing a difference in her health...because she is not allowed to quit soccer to become a coach potato...if she is taking a leave from soccer to get her butt in shape...than that is a commitment...just like soccer was...and I expect follow through...I think we will start doing the couch to 5k - she seemed excited by that...
PAULA--Here's hoping for a great weigh-in for you tonight!

Good for her.

Well...

Maddi has kindergarden camp this week. She loved it this morning.

The weather in Ohio is BE-U-TI-FUL! Seriously. It's like mid-Sept. It's lovely!

I got nothin' else. Just catching up with my life.

Mild weather here as well...am excited ...no more hot...now if it will only stay for the State Fair...

 

[Dizneydawn]

Yeah, I TOTALLY know what you are thinking!

What...am I getting herpes simplex g? how bout scabbies version R? What!!! Are we talking about the Florida water bug? Talk to me people...I did do a cholrine dip..wash myself from top to bottom and burn my clothes route...should I check for hair to fall out? Limbs? Teeth?

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

"At the same time...with 20-25 extra pounds on her...being the heaviest on the field and at 15...body conciousness is a huge factor for her...we all have hated being the fattest in a room...worrying about what a number on a scale wil say...or what people are thinking...this is the first summer that her life is being dictated by her body-image because she hates hers...no swimming...no pool parties...shying away from friends who look better than her...and with the same problems we all have in our adult years...at 15 years of understanding and intelligence...I am glad she is saying...enough...no more will I live like this...and making changes..."

Yes, it sucks that it's already begun. Maybe she'll get control now.

What...am I getting herpes simplex g? how bout scabbies version R? What!!! Are we talking about the Florida water bug? Talk to me people...I did do a cholrine dip..wash myself from top to bottom and burn my clothes route...should I check for hair to fall out? Limbs? Teeth?

Um, it's too late. If there was an amobea bacteria in the water and it got in your nose...it's eating your brain now. Not to be Debbie Downer or anything.

 

[Dizneydawn]

"At the same time...with 20-25 extra pounds on her...being the heaviest on the field and at 15...body conciousness is a huge factor for her...we all have hated being the fattest in a room...worrying about what a number on a scale wil say...or what people are thinking...this is the first summer that her life is being dictated by her body-image because she hates hers...no swimming...no pool parties...shying away from friends who look better than her...and with the same problems we all have in our adult years...at 15 years of understanding and intelligence...I am glad she is saying...enough...no more will I live like this...and making changes..."

Yes, it sucks that it's already begun. Maybe she'll get control now.

Me too...she is a carb junkie...even when she was at Dance for 6 hours a week, gymnastics for 15 and soccer for 8 - she still had a tummy...just different body type than her brothers who can eat and eat nad not gin an ounce...Baylor is heavier than Treyner's body style...but not heavy at all...


Um, it's too late. If there was an amobea bacteria in the water and it got in your nose...it's eating your brain now. Not to be Debbie Downer or anything.

Is that what is in Florida? Have never heard of that here...but because we are Land of 10,000 lakes...they are sticklers about water cleanliness...which is a good thing...not my ideal to go take a dip in...but I was forced...ahemm...

And do not worry about being a Debbie Downer...if I die...I left you all my debt. Cause I love ya like that.

 

[HockeyKat]

Okay, have I mentioned lately how very much I love you guys!!! Really, you have made my whole day. And I desperately needed it. I can't wait to meet all of you in person.

Ok, I am writing a BIG long post. Probably be in 30 minutes. But this is for you KAT!



Stay strong. If you need me to, I'll go back and find all the stress induced posts due to your current job and the suckage of your life by your boss. He needs you. Didn't appreciate you when he had you. His loss. Of which you should kindly explain. Remind him, you are a "3" and his team really needs "4's."

You are so right.

Erika, I loved the F off post. I thought I quoted it but I guess I didn't.


So, the somewhat risky startup company called and offered me 4K more than the other job. They don't have health insurance to start but will reimburse COBRA up to $600 a month, and have committed to a group plan by Jan 1. They are also close to home, but probably 15 min as opposed to the 10 of the other job. They have about 30 people in the company, so it is really a ground floor opp, but somewhat risky. The CFO and dir of development spent about 20 min on the phone with me trying to get me to work there, which is always flattering.

I have yet to hear on my questions for the company I accepted.

I also have yet to get the counter from boss and boss's boss (who is here today).

However, that may be a reason to turn down company that I told I would let know today, since my only reason for keeping them on the table is that they are the only "official" (written) offer.


Dawn, your trip sounds like craziness. I think that you and Dan should stay away from water!!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Hmmm....I guess I didn't realize that Carsyn is heavy? I have seen pics and didn't notice it at any rate. So I can definitely understand why she might feel intimidated by the skinny soccer girls. I understand the situation a bit better now. Just hate the idea of a kid quitting at this age as they are so unlikely to pick it back up.

Make sure only the right foods are in the house for her. That might be hard with Baylor and Treynor there, too...they can probably eat anything and everything. You might want to talk to them about not keeping the junk in the house for a while...just until you and Carsyn get stable on your programs.

I really do stand behind couch 2 5k. Remember that I never ever ran before this. I played soccer and played goalie so I wouldn't have to run as much as everyone else. I was on the swim team because there was no running involved. And today I am headed out for a 9-miler. Go figure.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

...if I die...I left you all my debt. Cause I love ya like that.

Awww...I knew we were tight.

So, the somewhat risky startup company called and offered me 4K more than the other job.

Startup makes me nervous. But, everyone had to start sometime, somewhere.

Hmmm....I guess I didn't realize that Carsyn is heavy?

I might be speaking out of turn here. I don't think Carsyn is heavy. She's normal to me, but that means she's not stick thin. Which is the trend. KWIM?

 

[Dizneydawn]

Hmmm....I guess I didn't realize that Carsyn is heavy? I have seen pics and didn't notice it at any rate. So I can definitely understand why she might feel intimidated by the skinny soccer girls. I understand the situation a bit better now. Just hate the idea of a kid quitting at this age as they are so unlikely to pick it back up.
That's waht I told her...that statistically she may not play again for high school..she wants to sign up for summer traveling soccer...more social...plus play on a winter indoor co-ed league for fun and then play rugby in the spring...she weigh about 164 and is 5'4 at the most...she is very muscular..so she will never be a tiny petite 120 flower like her friends...but 130 is a good number for her..maybe 135...I was 112 in high school - stick thin...no ****s...and looked like a boy..so she has curves and ****s..a beautiful face I would have died for....but at 15, 30 pounds is a lot to carry extra...she was even good at 145 in solid muscle...but that is not her build now..some has turned soft..no more dance or gymnastics...so she needs to alter her lifestyle....
Make sure only the right foods are in the house for her. That might be hard with Baylor and Treynor there, too...they can probably eat anything and everything. You might want to talk to them about not keeping the junk in the house for a while...just until you and Carsyn get stable on your programs.
Done...trying to instill that in her Dad as well...but at school it is noyt the best choices..but that is life...like I told her...you can build your life on excuses or say I am responsible...she was arguing over WW how it is meant for older people...not teens who don't have any time...I bout choked her...tell me you don't want to do it...but time is BS...she has more time than any of us...and if you want me to respect your choice..it darn well better be valid...otherwise get out of my face...I have to say...Chad was very good about this...he was with me for the 2 hour pow wow about soccer...he is offerig her to go to the Y with him before school in the mornings...but she is not a morning person...blah...blah...he told her that it sounded like she was full of reasons...not decesions... I was like...who is this man?

No more food in front of TV...only at the dinner table...he is agreeing to this...and he needs to start making meals for her...not pizza...

I also talked about tracking...because it shows a portion...at first he balked at this...said it was not neccesary...I said really? Did she get here because she controls her food intake? Then he started to get it...He has been buying fruit and veggies more...but the man needs to learn how to cook...
I really do stand behind couch 2 5k. Remember that I never ever ran before this. I played soccer and played goalie so I wouldn't have to run as much as everyone else. I was on the swim team because there was no running involved. And today I am headed out for a 9-miler. Go figure.

IThat is exactly the point I told her...that it is possible...

Awww...I knew we were tight.

Like PB&J

Startup makes me nervous. But, everyone had to start sometime, somewhere.
True said...maybe it is a good time to take a chance...if it is a no go in a year...look how many job offers in a few weeks you had...there will be more...but at the start -up...if you have a good feeling...it is not like you have 18 kids counting on you...you are in a good position to feel the wave and take a ride I think...


I might be speaking out of turn here. I don't think Carsyn is heavy. She's normal to me, but that means she's not stick thin. Which is the trend. KWIM?

Agreed..not stick thin...never will be...but yeah...she hides it well..at 5'4..165 is not a healthy weight...I would be thrilled for it...but even then...not goal for me...and it is sooo much more...when it is dictating what you will do and where you will go...the food has more control than she does over her life...I had kids when I got heavy...I would still swim...still go places...still be sad...but I always said..they should not be punished for my choices...it is not their fault...she does not have that yet...I have tried to show her she is punishing us...by not participating...and so when her food affects me and she still is in my house...she does have a responsibility to change things so she can be a full participant...no different thn if she was drinking...hungover...and could not get up to go to Church...when your choices start affecting others...it stops becoming strictly your choices...

Do I make any sense...I feel like i just ranted! UGH!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

I...I had kids when I got heavy...I would still swim...still go places...still be sad...but I always said..they should not be punished for my choices...it is not their fault...she does not have that yet...I have tried to show her she is punishing us...by not participating...and so when her food affects me and she still is in my house...she does have a responsibility to change things so she can be a full participant...no different thn if she was drinking...hungover...and could not get up to go to Church...when your choices start affecting others...it stops becoming strictly your choices...

Do I make any sense...I feel like i just ranted! UGH!

Ohh Dawn. I am completely guilty of this!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Ohh Dawn. I am completely guilty of this!

Which part? The ranting?

I have been the fattest mom at everything for a long time...kids sports, the fair, Disneyworld (okay there have been fatter people than me and I have seen them on Trip reports...you see pictures people take of the castle...and someones dumpling butt is in front of the castle...and you are like...thank gosh it isn't me...but for a fact you @#ss is there...just on someone elses family album...)

But very active...I want to be thinner...want to be better for my kids..and grandkids...but it is my choice to take action...not theirs...so I have always sucked it up...missed out on enough being in the hospital I figured...to deal with the consequences...I don't know...it is so hard...tough love for her for the right reasons..givin her good choices...but I know...I can't force her to like it...but I can give consequences...

So we just talked...Tell me your opinions cause I am batting this around in my head...

If she decides one more time to not participate in something I want from her...due to her weight...than what if she has consequences...cell phone gone...tv gone...computer gone...if she wants to not be active in our lives at something...than the innactive things she enjoys will start dissapeering...this is not a weight punishment..I don't care if she weighed 200 punds...I want her around me...I love her...but I will not let the food win...her bad self-esteem win...

Is this a good thought...or will this push her away? I feel like I need to do something...something she will understand the gravity of...something she gets that is concrete...

Earlier this summer...she refused to go to the beach with me and the boys...I explained her choice had a consequence...1 week of no friends...she choose that...but the truth is...her not leaving the house...still meant access to computer/phone...and of course if Chad is not willing to help follow through..than it is a waste of time for me....

I am open to all and any advice...

I feel like a hard love parent in a drug intervention show..."if you choose the weed...don't choose to call me..."

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Gosh Dawn. I don't know. If you push too hard, she will go completely the other way. And while you say it's not a weight thing. It is. If not direct, then indirect.

I know you are trying to save her from herself. I am doing the same thing with Molli. But in reality, that's not usually how it works. And I worry I am breeding the feeling that if she's anything less than perfect, then she is not loved.

It's a truly fine line we walk. And I wish I knew the answer.

You can try this stragety. If it doesn't work, well, then try the next thing. But yeah, logically it makes sense.

I am guilty of making everyone suffer due to my insecurities. We don't swim. We don't...the list is long. And while I am guilty, and it's shocking to think about the gravity of it. I'm not willing to go swimming while my @$$ is this big.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Gosh Dawn. I don't know. If you push too hard, she will go completely the other way. And while you say it's not a weight thing. It is. If not direct, then indirect.

I know you are trying to save her from herself. I am doing the same thing with Molli. But in reality, that's not usually how it works. And I worry I am breeding the feeling that if she's anything less than perfect, then she is not loved.

It's a truly fine line we walk. And I wish I knew the answer.

You can try this stragety. If it doesn't work, well, then try the next thing. But yeah, logically it makes sense.

I am guilty of making everyone suffer due to my insecurities. We don't swim. We don't...the list is long. And while I am guilty, and it's shocking to think about the gravity of it. I'm not willing to go swimming while my @$$ is this big.

I know I know..but this has been getting worse for awhile now...so maybe I should see how things go...like yesteray..did not make her get in the wter...but she had to come...did what she was comfertable with...not what she was not...but at leats she came....which was an improvement ovr the river...which she would not even come and sit at...

I heard you had a nice @ss BTW...not big at all...so start swimming...even if it is in the dark...

 

[goofyfan-12]

Dawn,

As you know from your own dealings with weight, no one can force you to do something you don't want to do. My parents tried a bunch of the things you are suggesting and the only thing it did to me was to force me further into hiding. I hid my eating, I hid my pain, I basically hid from life. I suspect that if you start tieing the things that most of us associate with being a teenager to her weight loss efforts (cell phones, computers, hanging out with friends) you may do more harm than good. You need to reinforce the idea that she has a choice, educate her on the options and then step back and let her make it.

Frankly, I am more worried about the self esteem issues than I am with her weight. I realize that the two are tied together, but at a basic level, she needs to know that you love her no matter what. If she can't get that kind of unconditional love from her parents, she will never allow herself to accept it from anyone else (speaking from experience on this one).

I am not a parent, so I may not know jack sheet about this, but I do remember that when my parents tried to force the issue, I ran in the opposite direction and ate more. The old addage that when you are ready to face the issue you will is true. It took me years to get to that point, but Carsyn sounds like she is starting to get there now. Support her efforts, encourage her, help her set realistic goals with rewards attached to them, but if she is going to start cutting down on some of her saftey nets, you don't want to threaten to take the rest of them too. You may just push her over the edge. The last thing you want is for her to develop some kind of eating disorder where she becomes obsessed about her body and takes up anorexia or bulemia.

Hope this helps,
Paula

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Paula - you said some of my thoughts much better than I did.

This whole parenting thing is a crapshoot. It's very hard to know if your choices will come back to bite you in the butt. IMO.