In Search of my Body...Not The One I ate...#3 "Crowning Goddesses As We Go"

[goofyfan-12]

Hi all....

I am beat tonight so this is going to be a quick one.... I am shivering from swimming and then coming out into the cold night... so not ready for that...

I stayed the same this week, so I am still down 1 pound for the challenge... I have an agressive workout schedule this week (M & W swimming, T & Th gym workout of cardio and my strength class and walking DVD on Sunday) which I am actually looking forward to.

I have a lot of thinking to do as some new things popped up in my life... not work stuf (thank god), but relationship type stuff and I really want to just hide under the couch until it blows over, but I can't... long story short, an old friend of mine is reaching out to me and I am not sure what his motives are... would be open to exploring things a bit, but don't want to lose the friendship. Liz - in many ways, this is like your dream....

So the question is, how much of a risk am I willing to take? That is what I need to figure out.... There is much more to the this, but I can't get into it all just yet (and I don't want to bore you all) since I don't know what it all means in my head yet... I guess PM me if you want to offer your two cents (and I won't be offended if no one PM's me) or if you want greater details... In the meantime, I'll be working to figure this one out while sweating the time away on the exercise bike....

Talk to you all later,
Paula

 

[adsrtw]

Thanks so much everyone. It just shocked me to the core. It wasn't sugar sweet by any means. But another woman during pregnancy, a tough pregnancy, is just a tough one for me. I do remember hearing a therapist say that pregnancy is tough for a lot of men. And when they are already unhappy it sparks a lot of crap. Please don't think I'm giving excuses. I'm simply talking. That's all. To get pictures of the new little one. Plead my way for more baby pics and got the truth. I saw her in May - she dropped some stuff. But it was the same things - communication issues.

I finally found her home after I posted. Thank God. I so wanted to hug her. And she is wow. I thought of you all and your advice to Dan when he asked. Because she could only talk to me because her daughter is at kindergarten. She is already on that - not talking one iota around her. Wow and kudos I say. Someone is doing it right in this world. Difficult as that is. She is already in counselling. Has her daughter ready to go. (Not because of the separation because of the multitude of losses and she is already acting out strongly - because of that part) She has had a load. They lost their cat during this period. And my friend had to have her husband take the dog - (who is very high maintenance - abused dog from shelter) because she was finding she couldn't cope breastfeeding, dealing, and giving much needed attention to their daughter. And the husband wasn't seeing the kids as much as needed. So now the daughter has all this - cat, dog, father - gone. And of course she is lashing out but not at her father who she just wants to please. My friend is looking at what she has to do. Give up control of certain issues. Looking at all of it - where emotions could easily take over all of us. I told her how flippin' proud she should be of herself and she cried. And she not someone who lets go. I am so proud of her.

I am many things - good and bad. But one of the most lovely things about me. God did I say "lovely things about me" - Lord I've come a long way. Love it. Just a minor programming minute for how far I've come in this world because of all my work. Yeah! Okay back.

Anyway one of my lovliest traits is that I never, ever see people as good and bad. I just don't. I don't see things as black and white. I see hurts even in people who are committing the most hurtful things. I don't ever want to change that part of me. I never allow it to make me a doormat or to let others use it but I have endless compassion. I see us all as far from perfect - capable of making mistakes. I know, and I don't give it too much time because the wife is my dearest friend - not him, that he is hurting. That this isn't what he wanted for his life to be. And that no matter what happiness in the other place - he has a long road ahead of him. And I so wish that communication could have been at the point where he could have said "something is not right with me; with us; I need some help" to someone. His wife, a friend, a therapist, a pastor - whomever. I wish that for all of us. I'm just rambling. It's just flowing out of me. Thanks guys. Sad all around.

Lisa

Wow! Your friend has my complete sympathy. This brought back alot of memories for me. My ex cheated on my with my then best friend while I was pregnant. Oddly enough, I didn't know she was the other woman until about a month later. I confided in her, all the while, she told him everything. I don't really know if I would have had the strength to pull out of my depression had it not been for my baby girl. Now, 4 1/2 years later, he is living miserably still with her. All the while saying how much he messed up. Too bad, so sad. Some men are just pond scum. Counseling is very good. Time heals most wounds, but I hope she soon learns that living well is the best revenge.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Paula--take the risk (but you knew I would say that, right? ). Seriously, if he is a real friend, the friendship will survive regardless.

Aimee--omg, you are a rock star for coming through that so strong!

 

[adsrtw]

Aimee--omg, you are a rock star for coming through that so strong!

Thank you! I really thought I was the only person to ever go through something like that. Yeah, I know ~ such a silly thought. It's really sad that it happens so frequently. Or is it that people are just talking about it more?

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Wow! Your friend has my complete sympathy. This brought back alot of memories for me. My ex cheated on my with my then best friend while I was pregnant. Oddly enough, I didn't know she was the other woman until about a month later. I confided in her, all the while, she told him everything. I don't really know if I would have had the strength to pull out of my depression had it not been for my baby girl. Now, 4 1/2 years later, he is living miserably still with her. All the while saying how much he messed up. Too bad, so sad. Some men are just pond scum. Counseling is very good. Time heals most wounds, but I hope she soon learns that living well is the best revenge.

Wow! You know that is just a kick in the gut. To be confiding in your best friend all they while she's the other woman. Man. You have just floored me. Yes, agree with E, good for you.

Paula, I want the details. And I'll definately give you my opinion.

So I am totally exhausted. Leaving my roost is so all encompassing. It's easier to:
A. Not go or
B. Take the kids.

I probably won't be on much tomorrow. Tons to do. I'll be reading.

Love you guys.

 

[3DisneyKids]

You KNOW I hate it when you aren't on much....

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Ditto. Just emailed you.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

One more thing.

Liz turned me onto a song that I find endlessly amusing.

Kingdom in the Sky by DaVinci's Notebook. I recommend getting it at itunes.

I've been tap tap tapping my tooties all day to it.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

EriKa, are you going to post your trip itenary so we can ohh and ahh?

 

[BrcsDisneyPrncs]

Lisa - please don't jump off of your terrace and swim over here, first of all you will freeeeeeeeeeeze to death, second of all, POINTLESS. All of this come visit the Roc crap is ridiculous. Its not a terrible city, but it's small, not a ton going on, and its full of CONSTRUCTION. I swear, by the time they finish one end of a job on 490, they have to turn around and start at the other end b/c it took so long.

I mean, "come to Rochester, it's a blast"

So, i'm sitting here waiting for my dr office and/or Urgent Care center to open, b/c i refuse to go to the ER. I have abdominal pain something fierce, kept me up in tears all night, can't sit down, can't stand up. Only tolerable position for the most part is humped over in a semi-fetal position not sure whats up with that.....

Everyone have a great day!

 

[3DisneyKids]

One more thing.

Liz turned me onto a song that I find endlessly amusing.

Kingdom in the Sky by DaVinci's Notebook. I recommend getting it at itunes.

I've been tap tap tapping my tooties all day to it.

I posted this link way back on the first thread. Oh, if only I had that time to do this with my family photos!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALBeDjpF7mo

EriKa, are you going to post your trip itenary so we can ohh and ahh?

Um, I would have to HAVE an itinerary in order to post one. Yes, I leave three weeks from today.

 

[amykab]

Aimee I how you said "living well is the best revenge". So true.

Erika Thanks for the goddess crown!! I am on a super secret mission to beat the time that one of my coirkers got in the 5K we ran at Disney in May. Kind of childish, but it keeps me motivated. I've only got to knock off another few minutes.

No itinerary yet??? I shouldn't talk, we are going to WDW for a long weekend for the TOT race and I have no ADR's or anything either.

Paula I vote go for it. I am a risk taker though. It's one of those things where if you don't do it, you will always ask yourself what might have been, could have been.

Pilates and crunches for me last night and a run planned for tonight. Scale is STUCK!! Not going up (which is good), but hasn't gone down in a month. Clothes are fitting the same if not looser..I haven't counted calories or points at all during this weight loss adventure ( over 30 pounds so far), but I am wondering if I should start. I just know that I get obsessive about it though so I am not sure that it is the right thing to do.

Have a good day everyone!!!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Um, I would have to HAVE an itinerary in order to post one. Yes, I leave three weeks from today.

That question was suppposed to give you a little umph. Get on it girl. You are gonna be eating hot sticky sea of humanity counter service for every meal.

Weight loss adventure ( over 30 pounds so far), but I am wondering if I should start. I just know that I get obsessive about it though so I am not sure that it is the right thing to do.

Have a good day everyone!!!

Amy, you have only posted one pic of yourself. Yesterday you told Sarah where you hoped to be and well, I was suprised at your current size, your picture belies that. And you've lost 30 lbs so far! We need a before 30lb loss and a now pic.

I am so busy. Cleaning my house. Got to get so much done. Later.

 

[amykab]

Some before pics...I don't have the before picture I really wanted to show here at work, but this one is ok. Taken one 1 year ago at WDW, a few months before dieting at about 225 pounds.

At the holidays last year, still prediet/exercise. I don't have alot of pictures because I hated how I looked in them. DH also weighed about 225 in this picture..I think he is down to about 185 now.

Easter this year, about 215 or so..at least 10 pounds down ( I say at least because I didn't weigh myself when I officially started dieting, I was too scared to see how much I really did weigh. I am guessing I was probably close to 230 when I started.)

This picture was from June, about 10-12 pounds ago

In that pic I previously posted I was about 195, which is where I am stuck at now. I guess I am lucky that I am tall. To be in a healthy BMI range I need to get below 180. I'd like to see what I look like at 165-170.

 

[HockeyKat]

Amy you are beautiful!! And your little one is so cute. How tall are you?

I am 5'8" and my goal is 150 or so. I started at 218, made it down to 159 but am hovering around 170-175 lately. I am suffering from a major case of apathy about all of it since about June. I keep trying to get motivated...

And wow about the ex. Men can be such jerks sometimes.


Paula, good luck. Whatever you choose, I hope it works out for you.

Lyz, have fun! We'll miss you.

 

[goofyfan-12]

Argh... I had a reply typed out earlier and there was an error and it was lost.... I'm not sure what happened, but here is the gist of my first reply...

I am soooo tired.... I didn't sleep much last night because I couldn't get my mind to shut down until about 2:30 AM. I am still trying to catch up from last week's pipe break debacle... I figure that I'll be good and grumpy (or witchy) by the end of the week at the rate I am going...

For those who are looking for more details on what is keeping me up nights (Lyz), I'll put together a proper post on it later in the day. Erika - I am a total wuss when it comes to these things, so a good pep talk may be in order here...

Aimee - your transformation to date is amazing... you are doing great and your body reflects that... your little one is adorable...

Stacey - let us know how you are feeling... from the sounds of things, it could be your appendix..... feel better soon...

OK - I have to get some work done, but I'll post again later this afternoon...

Paula

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Amy! you are doing great. And your legs! OMG I'd kill for them. Totally.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Ok, I am giving myself a goddess crown today. I need one, k?

I didn't do a 10-mile run, but dammit, I got out there and did it and today that is a victory for me. I did 4 miles, then a complete leg workout, followed by a complete core workout for 90 minutes of exercise.

Erika Thanks for the goddess crown!! I am on a super secret mission to beat the time that one of my coirkers got in the 5K we ran at Disney in May. Kind of childish, but it keeps me motivated. I've only got to knock off another few minutes.

I LOVE that you have this super secret competition. I am ultra competitive (in case you haven't picked up on that ) and that is just SO something I would do. Yeah, kick her a$$!

Some before pics...

BIG changes! You are doing great! Thanks for posting your pics!

 

[3DisneyKids]

And can I just say that I love it that we have Liz and Lyz and Amy and Aimee. Makes life so much easier! Now we just need an Erica and a Pauline and a Cat and we will be all set. :rofl:

 

[goofyfan-12]

Ok, I am giving myself a goddess crown today. I need one, k?

I didn't do a 10-mile run, but dammit, I got out there and did it and today that is a victory for me. I did 4 miles, then a complete leg workout, followed by a complete core workout for 90 minutes of exercise.

One goddess crown for Erika!!!!! She completed a half marathon, coleege professor who regularly submits to being projected on a jumbotron, is the outdoors woman extraordiairre and still keeps this crazy bunch in gear....

Oh and she is going to Disney in a few short weeks and has little planning completed... Pulling that trip off will get her not only the goddess crown, but the tsarina crown as well.... (and yes, tsarinas rank higher than goddesses.... mainly because the name is cool...)

Erika - have a great day... you deserve it...

Paula