In Search of my Body...Not The One I ate...#3 "Crowning Goddesses As We Go"

[lisaviolet]

Steph, he didn't really mean this. He was being an a$$. I know, I am married to an a$$.

I need to clear up the fact that I am not going on this trip. Major bummed about it, but I am not going. It was causing to many problems with my husband and I didn't have the balls to tell him to shove it. I didn't say anything before now, cause I am raw and don't want to talk about it. Period.

I will be home this weekend too, waiting excitedly to hear about it. So, Pretty Committee, have the best time EVER! And keep us posted.

I am going to Columbus today to try to finish my Christmas shopping (and spend oodles of money on myself). I'll check in tonight.

Lisa, good job on the loss. Week after week it comes off. You figured it out, didn't you.

Oh and EriKa, miss, "post your Christmas pictures", where exactly are yours? I know, I know, you don't have time today. I will post mine tomorrow.

I absolutely heard that you don't want to talk about it Lyz. I got it and get it - really understand why and respect that. But I need to share that I'm just livid. Just absolutely livid. And sad. Okay. Actually, I'm crying. I'm so flippin' angry. I feel like kidnapping you. I do.

With love and compassion,

Lisa

 

[SeptemberGirl]

I absolutely heard that you don't want to talk about it Lyz. I got it and get it - really understand why and respect that. But I need to share that I'm just livid. Just absolutely livid. And sad. Okay. Actually, I'm crying. I'm so flippin' angry. I feel kidnapping you. I do.

With love and compassion,

Lisa

Kidnapping is good with me. I'm still not packed so why not add one more thing?

xoxo

 

[lisaviolet]

Kidnapping is good with me. I'm still not packed so why not add one more thing?

xoxo

Have a wonderful time Liz. I know you'll give us loads of pics. Can't wait to see your hair.

 

[lisaviolet]

Lyz,

Thanks for the thoughts on the weight. I have figured it out. And I'm confident enough now to actually say that. For me it really has nothing to do with food. Or exercise. It was and is about pushing through crap. And peeling away. And knowing that I deserve everything in life. And being gentle with myself - knowing that I'm not perfect - it won't be perfect - nothing is and no one is and being okay with that.

You know it was - and sometimes still is - very uncomfortable to be below a certain weight. Not yeah and excited. Sad and very uncomfortable where others would be thrilled. . Because I truly don't want to be looked at. I feel very naked and vunerable. But I'm passed that point and still losing. So something has healed in that area. And that's even better than the weight.

Thanks.

 

[amykab]

Steph, I hope you made this face at him:

 

[lisaviolet]

Steph, I hope you made this face at him:

Oh, I'm smiling, I would have more than that face. You physically would have had to hold me back to hear those words on this day.

 

[amykab]

Lyz:

Safe Trip PD for everyone! (Just so you know, I ordered up this FANTASTIC weather just for you girls!!)

I hope to finish up all christmas stuff this weekend. It has to be done this weekend, my parents will be here in a week That also means we'll have to have our house "mom" clean. I mean we keep a pretty clean house, as best we can with an 18 month old throwing stuff all over the place, but cleaning for parents coming, vs the regular cleaning we do are just 2 different things for us.

So, my parents will be watching Delena next Saturday night when we are at WDW. trying to decide where DH and I should eat and what we should do...

happy Friday!

Amy

 

[lisaviolet]

I'm getting more and more POed at both your husbands. That's cruel Steph. That's really cruel to say that on this day.

Okay must go take care of my emotions without this -

Okay I'm shutting up now. Really. I don't want to add to a hard day.

 

[lisaviolet]

Amy,

What did you decide on the Delena pics. Did you decide which ones?

 

[amykab]

Lisa,

WTG on the loss! Awesome!

we went with this pic

I ordered them last night from snapfish. I usually design my own cards, using photoshop, but just no time this year. I totally obsess over it. In my dream world, I would love to have a small business designing cards, invites etc for people. Maybe do baby/wedding shower favors. I am very mathematic/scientific minded, but I do have a mind for doing that kind of creative stuff. So it was hard for me to let it go this year and use one of the premade designs. In my other dream world, I'd love to own a small B and B where we could host small weddings. I loved planning my wedding. In fact, I had planning withdrawal when it was all over.

This was last year's card sad1: She's such a big girl now!!) And she would actually sit still for a picture!!

So, I just finished the shred for the first time. holy crap. it kicked my butt. I had some coordination issues on the side lunges with weights. it felt good to get back to something. Plan to run tomorrow or Sunday. not sure how far yet. Probably 4-5 miles.

Delena has a bit of a fever. I get SO SO worried when she gets a fever, always worried about a breakthrough UTI. It's not high at all, so hopefully it is just a little virus or something.

 

[3DisneyKids]

OMG, I leave in an hour and ten minutes...still packing.

Love you guys! Holy crap...this day, you would not believe. It started early. Lyz can fill you in. If time, I will post from the airport.

 

[SeptemberGirl]

OMG, I leave in an hour and ten minutes...still packing.

Love you guys! Holy crap...this day, you would not believe. It started early. Lyz can fill you in. If time, I will post from the airport.

Hi Gang...here at the airport! My flight leaves at 7:50. Just sitting in the airport using the free wireless and trying to find a place to plug my laptop in!

Kat is in the car and E is driving to the airport...we'll let you know when we arrive!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Ohh exciting!

Ok, so I am just quickly checking in. Gotta get dinner at the table. I'll be back.

 

[SeptemberGirl]

And while I am sitting here, waiting for boarding....

I have to say, Lisa, I am so impressed with your weight loss! Really and truly, every week. What is your total down???

And Amy, your "where I am" with weight loss totally inspired me. Like, totally. You both just keep trucking on!

I am up this week, to 160.2. 2.6 lbs up. I have 10.2 to go. Not bad, right? I just have to kick it. Really, it's been over a year for this and the back and forth is so frustrating, but so is staying on track all the time. But, I think it's probably a good struggle. I'm down to the real life stuff here, a year out.

Thoughts on this? I love all your input. It really helps, and so do your updates and success and struggles.



Okay, almost plane time!

Amy - I'm on BD now. LOVE it!

 

[3DisneyKids]

At the airport, too! Phew! I am a hot mess though! WOW. Just got here 15 minutes ago and I am boarding in 7 minutes. Ya. I know.

 

[amykab]

Ok, that shred DVD kicked my butt. which is awesome. My arms are sore already...

Liz, can't wait until you finish BD so I can give you my 2 cents on it.

Erika, That is cutting it close...i would be freaking out. we did that once and they wouldn't let our luggage on the plane. I think you'll need at least 4 or 5 drinks when you get there.

Cheers,
Amy

 

[amykab]

So excited. ..Just looked up my race waiver and bib number for the 1/2...

I will be sporting number 39622!!!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

It was and is about pushing through crap. And peeling away. And knowing that I deserve everything in life. And being gentle with myself - knowing that I'm not perfect - it won't be perfect - nothing is and no one is and being okay with that.

Lisa - this is so me. I have to push through crap and I absolutely don't want to.

You know it was - and sometimes still is - very uncomfortable to be below a certain weight. Not yeah and excited. Sad and very uncomfortable where others would be thrilled. . Because I truly don't want to be looked at. I feel very naked and vunerable. But I'm passed that point and still losing. So something has healed in that area. And that's even better than the weight.

I'm so glad you are past that point.

(Just so you know, I ordered up this FANTASTIC weather just for you girls!!)

Wow, you are one powerful woman.

I hope to finish up all christmas stuff this weekend. It has to be done this weekend, my parents will be here in a week That also means we'll have to have our house "mom" clean. I mean we keep a pretty clean house, as best we can with an 18 month old throwing stuff all over the place, but cleaning for parents coming, vs the regular cleaning we do are just 2 different things for us.

I understand. I do that when my MIL comes over. She wouldn't want me to work hard cleaning the house like I do, but it's just something you do. Scrub the shower.

So, my parents will be watching Delena next Saturday night when we are at WDW. trying to decide where DH and I should eat and what we should do...

I bet your mom is thrilled to spend more time with Delena.

No time this year.

Yeah, probably the next 2 years too! lol.

I totally obsess over it. In my dream world, I would love to have a small business designing cards, invites etc for people. Maybe do baby/wedding shower favors. I am very mathematic/scientific minded, but I do have a mind for doing that kind of creative stuff. So it was hard for me to let it go this year and use one of the premade designs. In my other dream world, I'd love to own a small B and B where we could host small weddings. I loved planning my wedding. In fact, I had planning withdrawal when it was all over.

Ok, so I loved this paragraph. I am very exacting and creative too. In my dream world, I would run a banquet center and cater or not.

This was last year's card sad1: She's such a big girl now!!) And she would actually sit still for a picture!!

Ah-dorable!

I am up this week, to 160.2. 2.6 lbs up. I have 10.2 to go. Not bad, right? I just have to kick it. Really, it's been over a year for this and the back and forth is so frustrating, but so is staying on track all the time. But, I think it's probably a good struggle. I'm down to the real life stuff here, a year out.

You are still down 70lbs!!! O.M.G. That is a 9 year old! Ok.

At the airport, too! Phew! I am a hot mess though! WOW. Just got here 15 minutes ago and I am boarding in 7 minutes. Ya. I know.

Geeesh, really pushing it there. Lucky you are a small airport. My stomach would have been completely knotted up!!!

So I had an awesome day shopping. I have the girls gifts done. Same number of presents, same amount of money. Let me tell you, that is not easy. I just will pick up stocking stuffers here and there. I love the stocking best. It holds so much opportunity. Little fun things. Things that are not necessary in life. New markers. Lip gloss. Bangles.

Going to wrap presents tomorrow.

 

[lisaviolet]

Lisa,

WTG on the loss! Awesome!

we went with this pic

I ordered them last night from snapfish. I usually design my own cards, using photoshop, but just no time this year. I totally obsess over it. In my dream world, I would love to have a small business designing cards, invites etc for people. Maybe do baby/wedding shower favors. I am very mathematic/scientific minded, but I do have a mind for doing that kind of creative stuff. So it was hard for me to let it go this year and use one of the premade designs. In my other dream world, I'd love to own a small B and B where we could host small weddings. I loved planning my wedding. In fact, I had planning withdrawal when it was all over.

This was last year's card sad1: She's such a big girl now!!) And she would actually sit still for a picture!!

So, I just finished the shred for the first time. holy crap. it kicked my butt. I had some coordination issues on the side lunges with weights. it felt good to get back to something. Plan to run tomorrow or Sunday. not sure how far yet. Probably 4-5 miles.

Delena has a bit of a fever. I get SO SO worried when she gets a fever, always worried about a breakthrough UTI. It's not high at all, so hopefully it is just a little virus or something.

Amy,

I don't know if this is pushy. But somehow her smile makes me say "I don't give a crap! I want one! ". So I'm PMing my address. Please, send me your cutie in a card. Perfect pick Amy.

As for the other - see what doors are opening. A strong woman who knows her skills and strenghs. That's so wonderful that you're seeing all of it. What is life without dreams and wants and goals. So keep on it Amy.

I have a funny story. Sometimes my students react very strongly when they realize I'm not married and without kids. Like my life is somehow sad. It's hard for immigrant woman to hear it. Very difficult - they look at me like I'm an alien. I am sad about motherhood but I'll be fine. So a couple of weeks ago this older woman from Afghanistan says, "Why Lisa?' so without going into my life story I say, "well no one has asked me!" with a smile. So she says in a strong voice in front of the rest of the class "Well I'll ask you! I'm asking you. I'll marry you Lisa!!!" And I'm thinking ummm I don't think your husband or grown children will go for that somehow. . They're so funny.

OMG, I leave in an hour and ten minutes...still packing.

Love you guys! Holy crap...this day, you would not believe. It started early. Lyz can fill you in. If time, I will post from the airport.

How exciting. Lyz fill us in woman.

Hi Gang...here at the airport! My flight leaves at 7:50. Just sitting in the airport using the free wireless and trying to find a place to plug my laptop in!

Kat is in the car and E is driving to the airport...we'll let you know when we arrive!

Thanks so much Liz for keeping us updated.

Ohh exciting!

Ok, so I am just quickly checking in. Gotta get dinner at the table. I'll be back.

You know I'm thinking he'd better eat!!! Or he'll deal with me.

Hi cutie. Been thinking about you all day.

And while I am sitting here, waiting for boarding....

I have to say, Lisa, I am so impressed with your weight loss! Really and truly, every week. What is your total down???

And Amy, your "where I am" with weight loss totally inspired me. Like, totally. You both just keep trucking on!

I am up this week, to 160.2. 2.6 lbs up. I have 10.2 to go. Not bad, right? I just have to kick it. Really, it's been over a year for this and the back and forth is so frustrating, but so is staying on track all the time. But, I think it's probably a good struggle. I'm down to the real life stuff here, a year out.

Thoughts on this? I love all your input. It really helps, and so do your updates and success and struggles.



Okay, almost plane time!

Amy - I'm on BD now. LOVE it!

I have no idea really Liz. It's almost 16 for this BL. 25 for last BL and 3 off between the two. So 38 this year. And from before I know for sure at least 30 but probably closer to 50. So quite possibly over 80 or more total. Ten years. I weighed in once years and years ago at 270 something at a physical. And I had already lost lots of weight at that point. But I find it really hard to believe that I was near or over 300 at some point. I don't think I ever looked that big. But that's my body. The good and bad. It's so hard to know when I was never on the scale all those years. I'm sad that I don't know. But oh well.

Liz, I know you're frustrated. And I understand it. But on the other side it is my hope that you fully take in all your success. And also, I believe, that maintaining is very underrated. But I hear ya regardless. I'm into accepting where one's body wants to go if one feels that they are working hard and doing what is livable for one's life. And yes you have to have some peace about it. You will get where you need to. You will Liz. Look at you. It's such a wow.

At the airport, too! Phew! I am a hot mess though! WOW. Just got here 15 minutes ago and I am boarding in 7 minutes. Ya. I know.

. It's kind of exciting to be last minute for me. Glad you made it.

Hi Kat!!!!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

So excited. ..Just looked up my race waiver and bib number for the 1/2...

I will be sporting number 39622!!!

Wow, that is my favorite number!