In middle school is a cel phone a necessity?

[Lisa loves Pooh]

A "necessity"--no....A "nicety"--probably.

I've seen more and more students with them and from a social perspective it does assist their social life.

But in the grand scheme of things--it isn't a true need no matter what anyone says. (I remember in my time way back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth-the big thing was your own phone line. That was a big ol' no in my household.)



And yes--get the unlimited texting.

I have a friend whose 14yo dd (8th grade) was just diagnosed with cancer within the past 2 weeks. In her world, having her friends a text away is a true blessing and her friends have been able to uplift her--all be it, against school policy--while she is in the hospital getting treated. Her mother joked on her caring bridge website that she wasn't naming names and I have a feeling that at least in the beginning, teachers were looking the other way.

It seems that the texting is the more common use.

I have no idea when she first received her cell phone. But she is middle school and at this time in her life--even i would argue that it is a much needed tool since she is missing so much right now.


The only thing holding us back (other than I don't think a 9yo needs a phone and she is our oldest) is the cost. We just aren't ready to add that lifeline to our budget just, yet.

But I'm sure as the kids age, hubby will soften up. I mean, he lets his 2yo play with his I-phone and i do not see him denying his son one when he hits the tween years and decides he "needs" one. By they may be the freebie phone with contract.

 

[golfgal]

Another great thing about texting, DS just made plans with about 10 of his friends to go bowling in 10 minutes because they were able to text. Gotta go run him to the bowling alley--it's $1 bowling night and no school tomorrow .

 

[LisaR]

We are on a Verizon plan. We have the $20/month unlimited texting on all our phones now though. Plans do vary around the country. I will tell you though that if your DD gets unlimited texting it is worth you getting it as well so you can text her. I rarely call my kids, texting is SO much easier, like last night I was in bed watching the Olympics and DS17 was downstairs and I sent him a text to bring me a glass of water . We do this a lot to have him call the dog and put her out too. It's a lot easier then yelling down the stairs and I don't have to get out of my warm bed

I already have 1000 texts a month and it is more than enough for me. DD is about the only one that texts me at this point. She is 14 and went to Magic Kingdom with a friend for the day yesterday. The mom dropped them at the TTC. Two directionally challenged teens trying to get to MK! Texting got them there. We are now watching the Olympics, surfing and IM'ing each other. Things sure have changed from when I was a kid and had to use our corded phone in the kitchen to communicate with friends -while my Dad yelled in the background, "get off the damn phone already."

 

[cheermom1]

We are on a Verizon plan. We have the $20/month unlimited texting on all our phones now though. Plans do vary around the country. I will tell you though that if your DD gets unlimited texting it is worth you getting it as well so you can text her. I rarely call my kids, texting is SO much easier, like last night I was in bed watching the Olympics and DS17 was downstairs and I sent him a text to bring me a glass of water . We do this a lot to have him call the dog and put her out too. It's a lot easier then yelling down the stairs and I don't have to get out of my warm bed

you are not the only that does that..

I texted my kids to do the dishes or to clean their rooms or to go to bed at 12pm!! just so i don't have to yell or get out of bed

 

[JoanGirardi]

We got our daughter her phone in 8th grade when we realized that she was borrowing friends' phones when she needed to reach us. Our oldest son had to wait until he was 16, and our middle child was 15 and our daughter 13 when we got everyone's phones. The school removed the pay phones completely. We got the unlimited texting plan for the family, and we all enjoy using it, though my husband and I are very slow texters, we're told. I get waiting until a certain age because we did it with our oldest, but we quickly learned that most of the younger kids in our area had their own phones, and texting is the main method of communication for the teenagers. Worth every penny for the cell phones, in my opinion. YMMV

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

All the more reason to get texting--it's a lot easier to send a discrete text then it is to make a phone call if he is in trouble. Unlimited texting per line on our plan is $4.99/month.

Adding unlimited texting to our plan would be another $30 per month. We have AT&T, and all 3 of the phones are linked to pull from one pool of minutes. We can add per-line texting but it is NOT unlimited.

I do see how sending a text would be less obvious than making a call, but if DS was in SERIOUS trouble by the time he got the phone out of his backpack, turned it on, and managed to compose a text with the keyboard of the phone, whatever was going to happen would have already happened.

 

[LisaR]

Adding unlimited texting to our plan would be another $30 per month. We have AT&T, and all 3 of the phones are linked to pull from one pool of minutes. We can add per-line texting but it is NOT unlimited.

I do see how sending a text would be less obvious than making a call, but if DS was in SERIOUS trouble by the time he got the phone out of his backpack, turned it on, and managed to compose a text with the keyboard of the phone, whatever was going to happen would have already happened.

I don't think of texting as something that is going to be necessarily lifesaving but it has helped both of my kids out of sticky situations. My DD (14) went to a New Years Eve party hosted by a 16 y/o friend. We knew all the kids that were attending except three. The 16 y/o is dual enrolled and these three friends were from college. The parents would be home all night. Things were fine until the three college kids showed up. They were 21 - 22 year olds. They appeared to arrive drunk and continued drinking beer they had brought to the party. One had a two year old with her that was being given sips of alcohol. DD was able to text me to come get her ASAP as were the other kids with their parents. It saved face. Instead of getting on the phone and risking the older people overhearing the kids talking to their parents, they were all able to get out of there without making a scene. They basically just said, "My mom texted me and said it is time to come home." We have had more than one situation where texting has certainly made things easier. And no, my DD won't be going to anymore parties hosted by that family.

PS: I forgot to add that we do not have unlimited texting. It would cost us $60 on our plan for three of us to have unlimited texting (ATT Go Phone). I am not willing to pay that. My younger son has 200 a month for $5 and my DD has 1000 a month for $10. That is plenty to allow them to text friends and still give me peace of mind.

 

[luvsJack]

I don't think of texting as something that is going to be necessarily lifesaving but it has helped both of my kids out of sticky situations. My DD (14) went to a New Years Eve party hosted by a 16 y/o friend. We knew all the kids that were attending except three. The 16 y/o is dual enrolled and these three friends were from college. The parents would be home all night. Things were fine until the three college kids showed up. They were 21 - 22 year olds. They appeared to arrive drunk and continued drinking beer they had brought to the party. One had a two year old with her that was being given sips of alcohol. DD was able to text me to come get her ASAP as were the other kids with their parents. It saved face. Instead of getting on the phone and risking the older people overhearing the kids talking to their parents, they were all able to get out of there without making a scene. They basically just said, "My mom texted me and said it is time to come home." We have had more than one situation where texting has certainly made things easier. And no, my DD won't be going to anymore parties hosted by that family.

PS: I forgot to add that we do not have unlimited texting. It would cost us $60 on our plan for three of us to have unlimited texting (ATT Go Phone). I am not willing to pay that. My younger son has 200 a month for $5 and my DD has 1000 a month for $10. That is plenty to allow them to text friends and still give me peace of mind.

DD hasn't had anything quite that drastic yet, thank goodness; but she has been able to text me to come and get her for other reasons she didn't want to go into with the friend she was visiting.

She was also able to text me from a school dance to come get her when things were getting a bit out of her comfort zone.

I wouldn't say it has been a complete necessity but it has come in handy.

Her phone was free with a 2 year contract and she gets unlimited text and 700 talk minutes (unlimited to anyone with the same company) for 19.95 per month.

 

[Pigeon]

I think there is a huge downside to limitless texting by adolescents, so we aren't going there.

When dd started jr. high this year, we got her a tracfone with prepaid calling. I told her she can do a little texting with it if she needs to, but it is not going to become a giant time and money sink. The phone is primarily for calling us. She's involved in tons of extracurricular activities, and I like that she can call us if she wants to stay late for something.

It's been five months now, and so far, so good. I'm sure that on some level, she wishes she had a cool, expensive phone and could stick her nose in the keypad all day, but she's a very smart kid.

She actually sees the downside of the texting, too, so she hasn't sent but two or three.

 

[luvsJack]

I think there is a huge downside to limitless texting by adolescents, so we aren't going there.

When dd started jr. high this year, we got her a tracfone with prepaid calling. I told her she can do a little texting with it if she needs to, but it is not going to become a giant time and money sink. The phone is primarily for calling us. She's involved in tons of extracurricular activities, and I like that she can call us if she wants to stay late for something.

It's been five months now, and so far, so good. I'm sure that on some level, she wishes she had a cool, expensive phone and could stick her nose in the keypad all day, but she's a very smart kid.

She actually sees the downside of the texting, too, so she hasn't sent but two or three.

Oh, there is definitely a down side to it, if that is all the kid does. DD has unlimited texting because its the cheapest way to go for us. She sends and receives a few texts each day after school between her and her friends and she will text me to check in when she is out; but I definitely wouldn't allow a constant "nose in the phone" situation.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Didn't read all of the posts, but our oldest son is in the 7th grade. He has an iTouch, but has never wanted a cell phone. If he were to ask for one, we would consider it, but we aren't offering one until it becomes necessary...

 

[SaraJayne]

Didn't read all of the posts, but our oldest son is in the 7th grade. He has an iTouch, but has never wanted a cell phone. If he were to ask for one, we would consider it, but we aren't offering one until it becomes necessary...

Our oldest is also in 7th grade and has been wanting a cell phone for a year or so.

He doesn't need one, so the answer is no. He has an iTouch he can text with and he's obviously still at the age that we know exactly where he is ('cause we drove him there ).

Maybe in a year or two we'll think about it.

 

[auntie]

DD hasn't had anything quite that drastic yet, thank goodness; but she has been able to text me to come and get her for other reasons she didn't want to go into with the friend she was visiting.

She was also able to text me from a school dance to come get her when things were getting a bit out of her comfort zone.

I wouldn't say it has been a complete necessity but it has come in handy.

Her phone was free with a 2 year contract and she gets unlimited text and 700 talk minutes (unlimited to anyone with the same company) for 19.95 per month.

I experienced a similiar situation with my daughter. She found herself in an
"uncomfortable" situation, that she wanted to extricate herself from. I didn't have texting on my line at the time. She had texted her best friend (who wasn't with her...) who in turn called me, and told me I needed to call my daughter. She was in a situation where she wanted to leave, but also wanted to save face. I've always told my kids..."blame your mother". I called my daughter..and she used my call as a reason to leave where she was. After that experience... I added the unlimitted texting to all the lines. This way if one of the kids finds themselves in a situation where they wanted to discretly text me without their friends knowing who they're calling they'd be able to.
While I personally don't care to text..I do it. Whenever I text the kids..they text me back. A much better response than when I call them.
Kids text..it's the way they communicate, whether I care for it or not.

 

[luvsJack]

I experienced a similiar situation with my daughter. She found herself in an
"uncomfortable" situation, that she wanted to extricate herself from. I didn't have texting on my line at the time. She had texted her best friend (who wasn't with her...) who in turn called me, and told me I needed to call my daughter. She was in a situation where she wanted to leave, but also wanted to save face. I've always told my kids..."blame your mother". I called my daughter..and she used my call as a reason to leave where she was. After that experience... I added the unlimitted texting to all the lines. This way if one of the kids finds themselves in a situation where they wanted to discretly text me without their friends knowing who they're calling they'd be able to.
While I personally don't care to text..I do it. Whenever I text the kids..they text me back. A much better response than when I call them.
Kids text..it's the way they communicate, whether I care for it or not.

That is exactly the way I am! DD thinks its so funny because it takes me so long to send an answer!

Texting really does come in handy. Its been a great way for any of the kids to get a message to me while I am at work and not answering phones. I don't always remember to check my voice mail on my office phone, but the little sound my cell makes reminds me I have a text to check.

 

[Rora]

I had a cell phone when I was in middle school but that was because I took the train 45 minutes to and from school. It was rarely on time and in a sketchy neighborhood. I had a phone for safety and scheduling reasons.

No way in heck would I buy my 11 year old a cell phone. High school freshman? Okay. Any younger? No dice. JMO- everyone is entitled to theirs and has special circumstances (like mine!).

 

[2girlsmom]

My kids have had cell phones for about 1 1/2 years now, and are in 4th and 6th grades. My husband started out adamant that they would not get cell phones until they could pay for it themselves, etc. It only took the school system putting both children on 2 DIFFERENT wrong buses to change his tune. When we initially got the phones, which are on our verizon plan, we programmed in all the family member numbers and then locked their phones so they could only make/receive calls from those numbers. About a year ago, we added unlimited text to our plan, primarily so that my husband would have it for his job, but that did give it to the girls as well. My 4th grader really is fond of texting, and she texts back and forth with me, dh, my best friend, her daughter, and my nephew primarily, but probably only sends/receives 100 texts per month, so not significant yet, and certainly not something that is a problem. My 6th grader doesn't really love having the phone, it is an inconvenience to her most of the time. If she has sent 5 texts in the past 6 months, I would be shocked. Needless to say most of the texting is done by dh and myself. Honestly, I will be surprised if my 6th grader doesn't start texting more in the next year, she has become much more popular in 6th than ever before, so will probably find it more of a benefit, but who knows. As they have shown they are responsible with the phones, I have added other numbers for their friends' cell phones, etc, so they now each probably have 10-15 other kids' numbers programmed in.

 

[kristilew]

I love texting for my DD12. Here's a few reasons why:

She has friends from several different associations, not just school. Texting is an easy way for her to keep in touch with her church friends, her theater friends, her camp friends, as well as her school friends, even if she's not seeing them all the time.

With her various after school activites, and everyone else's activities, plus killer amounts of homework, playdates are not really an option anymore. Before the texting, she would get lonely for her friends. At this age, they don't necessarily have a ton to say on the phone. Really, not a lot to say on the texting either, but they do feel connected with the texting and she is much happier. Is that necessary, no, but I like to see her happy.

I feel like I have a much better handle on her social interactions with the texting than I would otherwise. I read all her texts (brain-numbing though most of them are....) and have been able to catch potential problems very early. I also have been able to see her friends be sweet and supportive - sending a bible verse or a good luck wish on a test. I'd never get to "know" some of these girls if it weren't for the texting.

Finally, I love that texting makes it easy for DD to send me quick little notes. Not only for convenience when one of us is running late or when plans change, or whatever, but because she'll also share a joke with me or let me know if she's excited about something. By the end of a day, it's easy to get "nothing" in response to the "what's new" question, but with texting, I get a constant stream of information.

Each kid is different, though, so you have to do what seems best for your family at the moment, then be willing to change your mind when you feel it's warranted.