In middle school is a cel phone a necessity?

[crz4mm2]

A cell phone is "never" a necessity.
I am from the times BEFORE cell phone use as a regular thing.
As far as a JR> high school age kid "needing" one= no.

Want vs need.

 

[momof1princess]

my DD is in 6th grade, and asked for a cell phone for over a year before she finally got one this past Christmas. she is in ballet, basketball and band, and i feel safer dropping her off for lessons and practices knowing she has it. i got her a kajeet phone and it only costs $15.74 per month for unlimited texting and 60 minutes talk time. she does have one friend that she texts a few times a day after school, but other than that, she rarely uses it.

 

[Pembo]

DS is in 8th grade. He has a cell but no texting. I'm not sure if it is hurting his social life. He understands that we are not paying the extra $$ for unlimited texting and he is good with that.

He really doesn't even need the cell but it has come in handy a few times.

I'm old school - I believe in using a phone to "talk". He has had friends actually call him and talk to him on his cell. They hardly ever called on our house phone.

 

[aprilgail2]

After asking some of her friends' parents, it sounds like about half the kids currently have a phone. !!

Thats about how it runs in the 5th grade at my daughters school-- a bit more than half of them have cell phones right now and the paretns of many of the rest say they are getting them for 5th grade graduation.

I'm old school - I believe in using a phone to "talk". .

I hate talking on the phone- If I only need to ask a question or be asked a question about something I prefer that they text me so I can answer right then or when I have a chance...much prefer texting to talking (and I am not a kid- I am 46!)

 

[golfgal]

Is it a necessity, no, is it something socially that kids do, you bet. One thing you will find is YOU will like him having a phone. It is just nice to be able to get a hold of them when you want . Honestly, kids don't email any more. They either text or Facebook. One girl in DD's circle of friends is constantly missing things because the other kids text each other for plans and her parents refuse to get her a phone (she is in high school) then her parents whine because no one includes their DD. Should the kids remember to call her home phone and update plans, probably, but they don't always remember that because she IS the only one without a phone.

A lot of people here that don't like cell phones cite that they want their kids to develop social skills. That is a bunch of baloney. All of our kids' friends text and use cell phones and they are plenty social. Part of today's social skills however, is texting. Some other friends in our old town refuse to let their kids get a cell phone and text and their kids miss out on a lot of things too, the kids were just complaining about that when we were visiting them the other weekend, because they don't have cell phones and miss all the text messages that go out with the other kids making plans.

THink of it this way, when you were a kid, how much would you have missed out on if you didn't have a home phone??

Our kids' lines are $9.99/month plus $20/month TOTAL for all of our phones to have unlimited texting. It is well worth the cost so I can send DS17 a text and have him pick up milk on the way home from where ever he is . If you price it out it is actually less then the prepaid phones.

Another thing to think about with a phone is you could get rid of a landline if your kids have a cell phone. What several of our friends do is add an extra cell phone to their plan and that is their "home" phone-you can transfer your current home phone to that number. There are also landline phones designed to work with cell phones so if the cell phone rings you can pick up any phone in your house. I would love to do this but we already have 5 phones on our plan and that is the max we can have--that and we have DSL.

 

[cheermom1]

Oh heck, are video games necessary? Oreos? TV? If you enjoy it and can afford it and are willing to pay for it and it's not hurting anyone, I don't see the problem.

This is just one issue that gets over-analyzed to death.

My middle schooler doesn't have one because we fall into category #3....not willing to pay for it.

I agree it is something that you need to be willing to pay for and if you want your kid to have one that just do it!! It is like when I was kid and I HAD to have my own line in my room..remember when you were their age and especially as girl

 

[katykate]

I got my daughter (5th grade) a cell phone about 6 months ago. I loved being able to get ahold of her all the time and things were going great until I got the call from school. Apparently, she and a couple of her friends got caught texting in class. Even worse, after reading through past messages her teacher discovered that another girl had been pressuring all of them to help her cheat on her homework and tests. My daughter wasn't suspended because it was the first time she's ever done anything like this, but she did recieve a 0 on the assignment that she gave the other girl answers to, and the other girls who were caught doing more were given zero's and suspended for two weeks. Cheating is far more rampant in grade school than it used to be with all of the new technology and pressure kids are under these days to do well. My daughter has lost her phone priveledges, but hopefully we caught her and punished her harshly enough to stop her from ever doing anything like this again. Don't make the same mistake I did, if you do decide to give them one make sure they are strong enough to stand up to this kind of peer pressure and are aware of the consequences for not doing so.

 

[golfgal]

I got my daughter (5th grade) a cell phone about 6 months ago. I loved being able to get ahold of her all the time and things were going great until I got the call from school. Apparently, she and a couple of her friends got caught texting in class. Even worse, after reading through past messages her teacher discovered that another girl had been pressuring all of them to help her cheat on her homework and tests. My daughter wasn't suspended because it was the first time she's ever done anything like this, but she did recieve a 0 on the assignment that she gave the other girl answers to, and the other girls who were caught doing more were given zero's and suspended for two weeks. Cheating is far more rampant in grade school than it used to be with all of the new technology and pressure kids are under these days to do well. My daughter has lost her phone priveledges, but hopefully we caught her and punished her harshly enough to stop her from ever doing anything like this again. Don't make the same mistake I did, if you do decide to give them one make sure they are strong enough to stand up to this kind of peer pressure and are aware of the consequences for not doing so.

Cheating isn't more rampant, getting CAUGHT is . This would be a GOOD thing. See, now that you posted this there will be a host of posts saying that because your DD had a cell phone she was cheating. I am sure that girl, without a cell phone, would have found another way to cheat--like take someone elses' homework paper and copy it--you know, the old fashioned way . Kids are stupid. They make mistakes. Having a cell phone or not has no bering on that what so ever.

Oh, a bunch of kids in our twins' science class got caught cheating on a quiz in class the old fashioned way--looking at someone else's paper during the test. They all got F's on that assignment and detention.

 

[shortbun]

Has she asked for one? Does she plead or shrug it off? My son has had a phone for years, it's for my convenience. We got him unlimited texting and he texts less than 400 a month. I've been told that is miraculously low. He has email too and IM. He rarely uses any of it. He's very popular, most of his friends are addicted to these activities; he's not. A month ago he was escorted out of a local mall by a security guard who did not believe he and his friends were meeting one of their mothers at the bottom of the stairs. He called us and my husband drove 20 minutes to meet them and escort them back into the bldg to meet the mother who DID NOT have a cell phone. She doesn't think they are necessary, lol!! If she'd had a phone, my husband would have stayed cuddled up on the couch with me rather than rescuing HER son and OUR son and 3 other 13-14 yo boys.

 

[KirstenB]

Has she asked for one? Does she plead or shrug it off? My son has had a phone for years, it's for my convenience. We got him unlimited texting and he texts less than 400 a month. I've been told that is miraculously low. He has email too and IM. He rarely uses any of it. He's very popular, most of his friends are addicted to these activities; he's not. A month ago he was escorted out of a local mall by a security guard who did not believe he and his friends were meeting one of their mothers at the bottom of the stairs. He called us and my husband drove 20 minutes to meet them and escort them back into the bldg to meet the mother who DID NOT have a cell phone. She doesn't think they are necessary, lol!! If she'd had a phone, my husband would have stayed cuddled up on the couch with me rather than rescuing HER son and OUR son and 3 other 13-14 yo boys.

Oh yes, she's asked for one! She also wants a pug dog, a horse....the list goes on!! I offer her my phone all the time, but it's is very simple and old, and doesn't have texting. I'm not opposed to them, just trying to decide if they're worth the $. She wants one only for texting, not even for calling friends. I thought I'd ask you guys and get some parents' perspectives on them.

 

[rszdtrvl]

My son has a cell phone and he is in 7th grade (middle school).

He goes to dances, field trips, and has sports. His phone is nothing special, a VM TNT! phone. He does not like his phone and wants one with a QWERTY keypad. But I won't buy one, he can use his own money.

He does not carry his 24/7 - in fact, I think he has used it less than 10 times since he got it (Last July). But I am not going to give up my phone so he can have one during activities.

He has never used it to call a friend.

 

[dawson5]

We got our oldest his first phone when he was 12. It came in handy when he went to DC in 8th grade. Two years ago hubby decided a family plan was the way to go. We got our three sons phones with unlimited text, free cell to cell calls and free nights & weekends. I didn't think our youngest needed it until I dropped him off at baseball practice and took the middle to his, I stayed to watch. A freak storm rolled in and my son had to be taken home, he had no way to call me and let me know this was going on. When he got home, he called me. He is in travel baseball and plays football, basketball and is always out and about in the neighborhood. He's had his since the end of 4th grade I think. It sure is nice when something happens and they can text me or call right away. With the unlimited texts, they are always in contact with their friends, plus they've set it up to update their facebooks. If you had asked me two years ago, I would say no but after living with them, I see how they are useful to us and how much the kids enjoy being able to keep in touch with their friends. They do seem to text on the bus ride, they are not allowed to call on their phones on the bus.

 

[auntie]

Get the phone...and add the texting. Like it or not it is the way kids communicate. Personally, I hate it. Yet..if I text one of my kids..they always text me back. Getting them to call back..another story. Not worth the hassle or the threats.. so I text them when I need to.
I've thought of the phones as more of a parenting tool for me..than for the kids. They never have a reason for me to not know where they are or what they're doing. They don't stay in the 6th grade, she's only going to be getting older. Better to ease into this on your terms.
Of course my youngest is now 18..so we've been through this a few times already. (get the unlimited texting )

 

[luvmy3]

Yes in 6th a cellphone is a social necessity.

My dd hads had a cell for years. It was originally for emergencies only when she was away from home. She never had to use it. This was teh first year she wanted to use it to text her friends because they all have phones and they all text. I thought she was just saying that but I picked her and a few friends from a dance the other night and they were all texting other friends at another dance. I asked if everyone has a cell now and it was a resounding "yup". Anyway I worked a deal with dd, she can get unlimited text through Virgin Mobile for $20 a month. Her plan that Ipaid for was $20 every 90 days. She will have to pay the difference to text and work around the house to pay it off, if she doesn't, I take the phone for a month or until she makes up what she owes

If your dd has an ipod touch she can text for free with that using the internet.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

We got a cell phone for DS when he was in 7th grade (he is in 8th grade now). The ONLY reason we got one for him was because he is in band, and the band director is the most flighty man I have ever, ever encountered. We would be told there was practice, only to have DS stranded at school because there was NO practice. After that happened a few times we got him the phone. BUT...

I REFUSE to add texting so his friends can text him all hours of the day and night. Our current plan is voice only, and I will NOT be adding text capabilities for the convenience of a bunch of middle schoolers. NOT doing it. I have texting, e-mail, and internet all blocked from his phone through parental controls. He was not supposed to give the number out to his friends, but of course he HAS given out the number, so if I didn't have text blocked he would be getting them and I would be charged per text.

At school if the phones are visible during school hours they are confiscated and we have to pay $15 to get it back. That happened ONCE, and I was ready to strangle him. He had been using the phone to take pictures and make videos and he had the phone out at lunch to show his friends. OF COURSE the resource officer caught him and took the phone. Having text capability would be too much of a temptation. He would just HAVE TO take the phone out to see who sent him texts, and it would get confiscated. Again.

Also, he goes to school with a bunch of thugs. If his phone only functions as a phone it is less attractive to the type of kids who like to steal things.

Next year when he is in high school I might consider allowing texting. Maybe.

 

[golfgal]

We got a cell phone for DS when he was in 7th grade (he is in 8th grade now). The ONLY reason we got one for him was because he is in band, and the band director is the most flighty man I have ever, ever encountered. We would be told there was practice, only to have DS stranded at school because there was NO practice. After that happened a few times we got him the phone. BUT...

I REFUSE to add texting so his friends can text him all hours of the day and night. Our current plan is voice only, and I will NOT be adding text capabilities for the convenience of a bunch of middle schoolers. NOT doing it. I have texting, e-mail, and internet all blocked from his phone through parental controls. He was not supposed to give the number out to his friends, but of course he HAS given out the number, so if I didn't have text blocked he would be getting them and I would be charged per text.

At school if the phones are visible during school hours they are confiscated and we have to pay $15 to get it back. That happened ONCE, and I was ready to strangle him. He had been using the phone to take pictures and make videos and he had the phone out at lunch to show his friends. OF COURSE the resource officer caught him and took the phone. Having text capability would be too much of a temptation. He would just HAVE TO take the phone out to see who sent him texts, and it would get confiscated. Again.

Also, he goes to school with a bunch of thugs. If his phone only functions as a phone it is less attractive to the type of kids who like to steal things.

Next year when he is in high school I might consider allowing texting. Maybe.

All the more reason to get texting--it's a lot easier to send a discrete text then it is to make a phone call if he is in trouble. Unlimited texting per line on our plan is $4.99/month.

 

[pixiewings71]

Our DDs both have phones. DBF and I work out of town and we feel safer with them having phones so they can contact us if needed. They both got them as Christmas gifts this year and they were both thrilled beyond belief when they got them.

 

[golfgal]

I should add that we got our kids phones because they wanted them-no real other reason then that. We saw no good reason NOT to give them a phone, never really set any limits on them other then if they went over minutes they had to pay for the overage. DS17 has had a phone for 5 years and the twins have had their phones for 3 1/2 years and they have NEVER gone over minutes and we have never had an issue with them and their usage. If we are doing something where we don't want them to text we say 'hey, don't text while we are doing this" and they say "ok". It's a lot of work but you know, it's worth it.

 

[LisaR]

All the more reason to get texting--it's a lot easier to send a discrete text then it is to make a phone call if he is in trouble. Unlimited texting per line on our plan is $4.99/month.

What plan do you have? DD pays $10 a month for 1000 texts. She would love to buy herself the unlimited but she can't begin to afford $20 a month for unlimited.

 

[golfgal]

What plan do you have? DD pays $10 a month for 1000 texts. She would love to buy herself the unlimited but she can't begin to afford $20 a month for unlimited.

We are on a Verizon plan. We have the $20/month unlimited texting on all our phones now though. Plans do vary around the country. I will tell you though that if your DD gets unlimited texting it is worth you getting it as well so you can text her. I rarely call my kids, texting is SO much easier, like last night I was in bed watching the Olympics and DS17 was downstairs and I sent him a text to bring me a glass of water . We do this a lot to have him call the dog and put her out too. It's a lot easier then yelling down the stairs and I don't have to get out of my warm bed