Imp ? Infant overnight visitation

[ducklite]

It does not play any part in child custody issues here in PA, not sure about NJ.

Not sure why it would matter?

Doesn't matter in NJ either. NJ judges are very quick to tell warring parents to get over it already and make their decisions based on the best interests of the child.

And 200 miles in distance will not play into physical OR legal custody, except that they are more likely to give week long visitations once a month until the child begins school, provided that adequate day care can be arranged if the parent works (grandma watches the child for example).

Anne

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I believe your dd should get a lawyer right now and get a custody arrangement in place immediately. I think that is in the best interest of child, father and mother.

There is a small part of my brain that wonders if this demand for visitation only a couple of days after he has left the family is for some other reason than a true desire to spend the time with his baby.

If it were next weekend I woudln't be thinking that, but three days after he left, well, I just suspect there could be more motivation to this demand than love for his child.

I love how people are so suspect of FATHERS. He has spent everyday with his baby girl with the exception of the last few days, maybe he actually MISSES her. Would you be suspicious of a mother as well?

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

I'm really surprised at the backlash towards the father, also. This is between the mother and the father. And him bringing up court is actually a smart move that would be beneficial for everybody. This way child support can be set.

This baby has a father that wants to see her, and is willing to defend his rights to see her. She has grandparents that care. That's a lucky baby.

Also, many babies have a primary caregiver and then have secondary caregivers (via nanny, daycare, babysitter). It's not a big deal for the baby to have two different environments to go between.

I think it's great that this baby has parents and grandparents that adore her. He has every right to his baby, and why should he be the one without her. I agree with everyone that said if he But this is a very one sided argument. Let's all advise the MOTHER not to hand over the baby because the baby is so small and too young.

But God Forbid a FATHER decide not to hand over a baby. In that case, he is "threatening and evil."

Exactly.

 

[Keli]

I love how people are so suspect of FATHERS. He has spent everyday with his baby girl with the exception of the last few days, maybe he actually MISSES her. Would you be suspicious of a mother as well?

Oh, come on! This isn't about the FATHER. It's about anyone in that situation, mother or father. He's just quit his job and moved 250 miles away. At a minimum its going to take him a few days to find another job and get everything squared away in order to live and support this child.

I would think the same thing about a mother who did this. I'd be thinking she's got so much she NEEDS to do asap that if after only three days she's trying to drive 500 miles (round trip) for a three day visitation then she's not putting this child's best interest first.

Because it's in this kid's best interest to have working parents to support her and provide a good, safe place for her to live. That's why I said if it were next weekend I'd understand. I figure he's had a week to get a job and make any other arrangements necessary for her livelihood.

I'm not saying this dad doesn't MISS his child. I'm sure he does very much. But I do wonder about motivations to take the child three days after he's left when he probably has a few other details to take care of this week that are actually much more important in the big picture.

 

[padams]

At a minimum its going to take him a few days to find another job and get everything squared away in order to live and support this child.

He's moved from living with her mom to living with his parents. It doesn't sound like he has been fully supporting himself. I don't know what the job market for construction workers is in northern NJ, but here in Georgia, he could get a job this afternoon if he wanted one. I don't think it's going to take him an time to settle in at home with his parents. Perhaps he really does justmiss his dd, who he is accustomed to seeing everyday. Also, perhaps, his parents would like to see their dgd.

I agree with the other posters that there are some people here who have jumped on the father bashing bandwagon. We just don't have the details to know if such bashing (or suspicion) is warranted here.

Obviously, the OP is realizing the consequences of the break up. She's concerned about her dd and her dgd. I'm sure it makes OP sad to realize that dgd won't be staying under her roof, or even near her all the time. We don't know the father's side of the story, but he definitely has one.

 

[Luv'sTink]

Here in WA state, I was told by a Lawyer that the father has no legal rights unless there is custody papers, even if his name is on the birth certificate, unless married. Because they know the child is mine but do not know if the child is his for fact.

I was advised by said Lawyer not to go after legal custody because that would give him rights as a father. (he was unfit by the time the child was born, drugs!) Yes, I could have tried to prove him unfit but that would have cost a bundle. He didn't want to be part of the childs life anyway.

 

[TeresaMc]

Seems like everyone is quick to lash out against the father, thinking he has other motives other than wanting to be with his child.

My DH has custody of his son, he was never married to his mother and she also wanted custody...it was a long battle but the judge did what was best for the child and that was place him with. His mother does have the normal every other weekend/holiday and 3 weeks in the summer with him returning home on one of those weekends.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Don't let him take that kid.

If he's already threatening legal action against her for a 7 month old, the guy's got issues and you need to consider the fact that he may not return the baby if you let him take her 500 miles away.

Call a lawyer asap, tell the boyfriend he can visit the baby in your home, and have another male figure there just in case he tries to bully or threaten you into giving him the baby.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

I agree with this! Also, here in Georgia the father has NO rights unless the parents were married.

 

[marybet]

OP, I was just wondering how this turned out? Hope your DD and her BF were able to work it out.

 

[Serena]

I'm wondering too.

But I can't see it as a bad thing that the dad wants to see his daughter. Unless she has reasons to believe otherwise.