Imp ? Infant overnight visitation

[wdwlover54]

My daughter and her boyfriend broke up. We live in extreme South Jersey and he lives (now with his parents) at extreme Northern Jersey, like 250 miles apart. They have a 7 month old baby. My daughter has never been away from the baby. The dad wants her for weekend overnights. Would a court force her to give him the baby for these overnight visits? I think she is too young to be away from her mom. He does love this baby but my daughter does the majority of her care. She is not breastfeeding. I am heartsick for my daughters pain. The dad keeps saying "You don't want to take this to court". Anybody know her rights? He wants to come today to get her and we don't have enough time to see a lawyer. Thoughts/ advise?

 

[camreesmom]

You really should see a lawyer before letting the baby go overnight if your daughter feels that strongly about it. I can totally understand her feelings. When X and I split up, our daughter was only 9 months old. At that time (close to 10 years ago), my lawyer told me that overnight visits could not be forced on a child less than 3 years old. This is in the state of Texas so your state may be different. However, if she lets the baby go overnight this time, it is going to be harder for her to say she doesn't want to later on if they do go to court. KWIM? This is just my opinion though.

 

[golfgal]

It is his child too. Yes, the courts can rule for visitation. You should be happy he takes an interest in the child's life.

 

[Blondy876]

You may not have time to see a lawyer but can you call one? If your dd has custody then he can't just take the baby without her permission. I applaud the boyfriend for wanting to spend time with the baby but to take a baby 500 miles (round trip) for an overnight without her mother just doesn't seem logical. Can he come down and spend the night instead of disrupting the baby's schedule? That's a tough situation. I would definitely say if the boyfriend is repeating "You don't want to take this to court". You need to get a custody agreement in place with visitation etc all spelled out. He sounds like he's making threats. Good luck and keep us updated!!!

 

[Beth76]

Seven months is not too old to be away from mom. Especially if not breastfeeding. Sorry, but this is what happens when parents break up, married or not.

 

[peachgirl]

I thing you're right. She's too young for extended visitations. You really do need to consult a lawyer. For now, he can't force her to do anything. You might want to take a look at this site..

http://www.attachmentparenting.com/proffox.shtml

 

[jel0511]

My sister went through this, and YES most likely a court would grant him overnight weekend stays. He has a right to see his child snd since he's not "geographically" close enough for an day visit, the court will allow him the right to spend time with him. Unless you can prove he's unfit in some manner, or unable to care for an infant, he's probably going to get visitation. Most likely it will be every other weekend, and a couple of weeks in the summer. I would NOT allow him to take the child without any kind of formal agreement. Don't allow him access to your home at all costs. Even though he might be a good guy and you trust him, call the police if nessary to get him off your property. Try to contact him before he leaves and indicate that you WILL NOT allow the child to go with him without a formal agreement. It protects both his and your DD's right as parents. If you can get him to agree to that, I'd go see a lawyer ASAP and get some sort of custody agreement drawn up,.

 

[Beth76]

http://www.attachmentparenting.com/proffox.shtml

What does attachment parenting have to do with custody. Certainly you're not suggesting these people start living by this philosophy in order to manipulate the court system.

 

[RadioNate]

you need to at least call a lawyer and have an official custody, child support and visitation schedule drawn up. While it thrills me that the boyfriend is taking an active interest in his child's life, I'm not sure I would allow the baby to go overnight w/out legal agreements in place.

I might offer him a night in a hotel close to you as a compromise before the legal stuff is straightened out so that he can spend the day with the baby and then return the child home for overnight. That also prevents the baby (and him) from having to spend hours and hours traveling.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

He is the father and he has rights. Is he paying any support? I well know that support and visitation do not have anything to do with the other, I guess I am just curious if it's okay to accept his money but not let him see the baby.

For all parties involved I think some sort of support/visitation agreement needs to be entered into to protect everyone, especially the baby.

 

[bsnyder]

It is great that he is taking an interest in the child. But that's very young for overnight visits, especially with all the traveling involved. Call a lawyer ASAP and find out what the laws are for your state. I'd urge DD to bend over backwards to allow the dad to see his daughter, but do it in a way that is least distruptive for the child. For instance, could she take the baby to where he lives, for an overnight visit. You said he lives with his parents. They are this child's grandparents just like you are, they probably want to see her too.

 

[Disneyrsh]

.

 

[camreesmom]

Not to scare you but another thing to consider is that if there is no legal agreement in place, the dad has just as much right to the child as the mother. Meaning that if he takes the baby he doesn't have to bring him back if no one has legal custody. He can keep the baby until there is a legal agreement in place if she doesn't have a formal custody/visitation agreement already. Could she offer to let him come visit the child at her house until they are able to see an attorney?

 

[wdwlover54]

The other grandparents definitely love her. I am thrilled that her dad loves her too. My concern is the disruption in her life. Yes the traveling will be hard but to not see her mom, whom she has seen every day of her life, for 3 days seems detrimental. I think this is going to end up in court and no, there is no support arrangement. He seems to think since she is a baby he may only need to pay a small sum since she eats so little.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Honestly, this is something that should have been dealt with the minute they broke up.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

She needs to see a lawyer TODAY and file papers for support and custody. I would not hand over a 7 month old baby until papers are filed.

 

[lil mermaid]

You really need to call a lawyer. THIS MORNING. I am really hoping that you have read some of the previous posts and have already done so.

There needs to be a legal custody/visitation/support agreement drawn up. I wouldn't let that baby go anywhere with the guy until that is done.

Idon't know the laws in your state, but it is entirely possible that the court will let him take the baby for overnight visits. You and your daughter should prepare yourselves for that possibility.

Good luck!

 

[NewJersey]

Sadly, this happens in relationships that don't work. And the father has rights. If I was him, I would feel that I have the right to see the baby too. But I would get papers going or something so this is not in limbo.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Never mind -- I misread it

 

[NewJersey]

Gotta keep the baby's best interests in mind here.