I'm starting to understand why people homeschool

[Momvic5]

Yes, your daughter learned a lesson. People cheat. Even adults cheat. Tests may be skewed against you. Life is not fair.

It's unlikely your daughter would have gotten such a good lesson from you homeschooling her. Public school is not just the three R's, it's where you learn about the public.

Trust me, homeschoolers learn about the public and cheaters too...other than school, they operate in/with the public everyday.... Life happens everywhere.

 

[Mom21]

I normally stay out of these discussions, but I have to laugh when people get this idea that homeschoolers are so sheltered they would have no clue people cheat in real life.

My dd is 12. She homeschooled except for 3rd grade and 1/2 of 4th. She is well aware that people cheat and steal and lie. Believe it or not, I actually allow my dd out in public........GASP. That's right. I don't have her sequestered in the house reading the Bible everyday completely dressed in her skirt that goes to her ankles and a turtleneck top. Now if she choses to wear a skirt like that I may look at her and laugh my rear off, but hey, it's her choice.

Likely if you see my dd she is reading a book (thank goodness as I thought the child would never read of her own free will), or texting on her Blackberry, or Facebooking on her Ipod Touch. She will likely be dressed in a leotard and shorts as she will be going to the gym with all of the public schooled kids that corrupt her (sarcasm here ok? I think she is the ringleader).

Homeschooled children are not isolated like they used to be. My kid is the most social child of any I know. She likes being at home, but that is a personality trait she displayed long before we homeschooled. I get so tired of people judging her personality traits based on homeschooling. My neighbor across the street has a child with selective mutism. No one says (whisper, whisper) " Oh poor thing is public schooled. That is why." Funny thing is my neighbor is one of the ones that criticized my dd the most.

Doctors do it also. My dd got hurt early in this year badly. While she was getting stitches I ask the dr to go ahead and give her the tetanus as she was due and she has a needle phobia. I figured do it all at one time. I actually was told that homeschooling doesn't mean I can let my dd be unvaccinated. UM she wasn't. She was due the next month at her physical and I figured get her trauma over with at one time. Pure stupidity on dr's part.

Sorry to vent. But I am tired of hearing it. My dd is one of the most social children I know. Evidenced by the 7 million text tones I hear everyday.

 

[C.Ann]

These are the same parents that will be "helping" (ie: doing) their childrens homework; school projects; reports; and whatever else for years to come and then wonder why their kids never actually "learned" anything in school..

Try not to let it get you down.. As others have said, there is "cheating" everywhere.. Kids do it; parents/adults do it; politicians do it; police do it; - and on and on.. Your DD is just learning it sooner than you would have liked.. I would simply explain to her that the emphasis should be on completing the assignment - not receiving a "reward"..

Chicken poxs? Really? That's quite a "reward" - LOL..

 

[3prettyprincesses]

lol, because either all homeschoolers are too nice to do this, or the kids aren't ever in public?

I really don't think 6 years olds have a vested interest in finding out that people cheat, personally. They have another 80 years to figure that one out no matter where they wind up educated.

Sorry, OP.

Trust me, homeschoolers learn about the public and cheaters too...other than school, they operate in/with the public everyday.... Life happens everywhere.

I normally stay out of these discussions, but I have to laugh when people get this idea that homeschoolers are so sheltered they would have no clue people cheat in real life.

My dd is 12. She homeschooled except for 3rd grade and 1/2 of 4th. She is well aware that people cheat and steal and lie. Believe it or not, I actually allow my dd out in public........GASP. That's right. I don't have her sequestered in the house reading the Bible everyday completely dressed in her skirt that goes to her ankles and a turtleneck top. Now if she choses to wear a skirt like that I may look at her and laugh my rear off, but hey, it's her choice.

Likely if you see my dd she is reading a book (thank goodness as I thought the child would never read of her own free will), or texting on her Blackberry, or Facebooking on her Ipod Touch. She will likely be dressed in a leotard and shorts as she will be going to the gym with all of the public schooled kids that corrupt her (sarcasm here ok? I think she is the ringleader).

Homeschooled children are not isolated like they used to be. My kid is the most social child of any I know. She likes being at home, but that is a personality trait she displayed long before we homeschooled. I get so tired of people judging her personality traits based on homeschooling. My neighbor across the street has a child with selective mutism. No one says (whisper, whisper) " Oh poor thing is public schooled. That is why." Funny thing is my neighbor is one of the ones that criticized my dd the most.

Doctors do it also. My dd got hurt early in this year badly. While she was getting stitches I ask the dr to go ahead and give her the tetanus as she was due and she has a needle phobia. I figured do it all at one time. I actually was told that homeschooling doesn't mean I can let my dd be unvaccinated. UM she wasn't. She was due the next month at her physical and I figured get her trauma over with at one time. Pure stupidity on dr's part.

Sorry to vent. But I am tired of hearing it. My dd is one of the most social children I know. Evidenced by the 7 million text tones I hear everyday.

Yup. Homeschooled kids aren't secluded. Mine participate in all kinds of activities. I don't think it's quite fair to assume that just because your child is homeschooled, they're not socialized or exposed to things that public school kids are. My 3 daughters are very social (my youngest is too social actually, according to her ballet teachers!) and interact with other kids, other adults and so on. I'm baffled why people seem to think that they won't get 'life experience' because they're not sitting in a traditional classroom. If you think about it, homeschooling will most likely prepare a child for the college setting more aptly since it's independant study. Not that public kids won't be either but my point is that homeschooled kids will be prepared for the real world too.

 

[golfgal]

Unless you have actually seen the charts with the chicken pox and ALL the other kids REALLY have that many hours in, I think your DD is exaggerating-like ALL kids do at that age. There may be a child or two that have that much time in--my DS14 read that much at that age--but I doubt even 10% of the class has that much time in.

OP, just some advice, don't take everything your DD says about school as the truth. Kids exaggerate or outright lie to make themselves look better or to avoid trouble. Question your DD carefully when something comes home that doesn't sound right OR verify the story with the teacher before you do anything more. Ask your DD to name the kids that have that many hours in, I bet she comes up with one, maybe 2.

 

[Tinijocaro]

The issue as you explained it has nothing to do with public school vs. homeschool. It's about parents who might be cheating on a reward program. Some homeschooling parents are jerks too!

I used to be one of those people who thought people that homeschooled were crazy (or at least weird!). But after a year and half with a kid in public school...I'm starting to "get it".

DD is in 1st grade and they have a reading program called "Chicken Pox". A kid reads for 75 mintues (logged and witnessed by their parents) turn it in and they get a "chicken pox" for their face they made for the program. If all kids get 20, they get a party or something.

It's day 8 of the program and DD is upset because she only has 3 "pox" and most of the other kids have 12 - 15.

That's 15 - 19 hours of reading in 8 days...1st graders. Does anyone actually buy that?

I sure don't. I know some of these kids (and the parents). The parents are cheating so that their little angels will "win" or "be first" or whatever. It's messed up!

Anyway...we learned a lesson, I guess.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

In our house, the kids do things themselves (makes it easier for us!). I still remember one of ds's cars - shaped like a whale! Nothing more aerodynamic than a whale! NOT!

LOL. My son's goal this year is to win the turtle award. It really will take some planning, because it has to be the slowest car to cross the finish line. If it doesn't cross the line it can't win.

As for pinewood- I just heard a dad say he was going to wait to start on his car until next month. Then he realized what he said, and he said "I mean I'm going to wait to start on my son's car until next month"

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I agree that is a lot of reading for kids that young. I also agree about the chicken pox being kind of weird. Anyways, my oldest actually was reading that much in 1st grade. I would put him to bed, and turn off the lights. Then an hour later I would check on him, and he would be reading next to the night light. He has been that way ever since, but he is not typical. My youngest would never get that much reading done, and he does like to read.

 

[Forevryoung]

My favorite "parents" doing it for the child story happened to me in middle school. And yes, I'm still a little bitter about the "lesson."

7th grade I was given an application for the National Junior Honor Society (a big deal to me). We had to fill it out, get some signatures and write an essay. Well, I completed the application and wrote my essay. My mom probably read the essay over for spelling errors but like the rest of my work, it was all mine. I received a letter back saying "you didn't make it, your essay wasn't good enough" My parents, along with several others went to the principal and complained (it came to light that other parents had written their snowflake's essays for them, National Honor Society's rules don't require an essay...)

So the school's response: the following year (8th grade) we had to write the essay IN THE CAFETERIA during the school day instead of at home (to combat the parent intervention ). I wasn't even going to submit my application and write the stupid essay after the previous year's drama but I did.

And I received a letter back saying "your essay wasn't good enough."

We moved that summer.

 

[disfan07]

We had the same type of thing when I was in 1st grade. It was "recommended" that we read 60 mins per day (we got 20 minutes to read in school so 40 minutes at home)...we got stars for every 60 minutes we read. I dont remember how many stars we needed, but at teh end of each quarter, if everyone had a certain amount of stars, we got a pizza/ice cream party.

At that age my friends and I were all averaging about 2 hours of reading a day which seemed normal to me. Everyone must have been reading regularly in my class because we got the party at teh end of each quarter.

The difference was though, our teacher did not make teh number of stars that each kid had known to teh whole class. She wouldnt tell you how many stars you had until teh end of the quarter and it was individually. Now yes, most of us would go and tell our friends, etc but she didnt wnat it known who did not read enough fro teh stars if we did not get the party.

I dont think there was anything unfair about it at all. It defintiely encouraged us to read.

 

[Ceila]

Unless you've actually seen the other children's "chicken pox," I'd take what your DD said with a grain of salt. Kids that age don't always report things accurately. I don't mean she's being untruthful, but at that age children's view of the world is not always the same as ours, lol.

Best teacher quote ever: "If you [parents] promise to only believe half of what your children tell you happens at school, I'll promise to only believe half of what they tell me happens at home."

 

[handinpocket]

I can't imagine wanting to homeschool my kid over that. I thought it was going to be something really bad.

 

[lillygator]

Unless you've actually seen the other children's "chicken pox," I'd take what your DD said with a grain of salt. Kids that age don't always report things accurately. I don't mean she's being untruthful, but at that age children's view of the world is not always the same as ours, lol.

Best teacher quote ever: "If you [parents] promise to only believe half of what your children tell you happens at school, I'll promise to only believe half of what they tell me happens at home."

 

[prittfamily98]

As a homeschooling mom, who had kids in public school for years, I have to agree that some ways the teachers get the students and parents involved is insane. AND yes there are parents out there that cheat. I spent HOURS and HOURS in my kids classes seeing the teachers come up with ways to get the kids to read. There are some kids that do not like to read. Do not like to read what is forced upon them yet there are kids that love it. Yes, I think the teacher could have come up with some other form of reading/involvement program. Remember that you as a parent ALWAYS have a voice. Good luck.

 

[manning]

I am with you. Unlikely a first grader can read 100 minutes a day. That is nearly 2 hours. Even if the parent was reading to them, it is a lot of time. I hate cheating parents. Wait until you get to pinewood derby and science fair to see the parents really shine.

And you have to wonder how the parents made it thru school.

 

[manning]

I'm not bashing homeschooling or anything, but try and look at it this way....

Life is full of people like this. Cheaters, people who "work the system", whether it be the kids themselves or their parents. It's unfortunate that your child had to learn that in 1st grade, but believe me, it's important that they learn it. If they were home with you, in an environment where they never encountered people like this, I would think that when they finally got into school, be it charter, or public, or college - that they would be SHOCKED by the level of cheating/lying/working the system that goes on and have no idea how to deal with it. Use this as a teaching tool with your child about honesty and playing by the rules - and then let it go. Otherwise, it's going to be a LOOOONG 11 years you've got ahead of you. You will encounter these types of parents everywhere - school, sports, I've even seen it in churches. It's pathetic, but a universal problem not solely restricted to public school.

Hi from a cheater. Well one from over 50 years ago. I can tell you how far cheaters get and it isn't far. I had to build a project for the science fair competition. You competed in your school and then regional and then city wide. I could have cared less if I did a project or not but I had an over achieving aunt. She convinced her son (25 years older than me) to build me a perfect simple electric motor and I was one of five who won at the local level. Only problem was I didn't know anything on how that motor worked. When I got to the next stage (regional) I was one of the first to be eliminated.

I was lucky in one way. I was old enough to realize that you got ahead in the world a lot further if you didn't cheat. If I had built that motor myself and learned how it worked I could have had a chance to go to the finals. The way I did it I had no chance at all.

Sooner or later, and It will be sooner, cheaters will be found out and left behind.

P.s. I still don't know how that motor works

 

[sunnyday123]

I feel your pain. But know that your child will be proud of doing things on their own. Ahem....I am the daughter of a cheater. Actually, I was never allowed to do things on my own, from school projects to dying Easter eggs. In fact, I didn't dye my own egg till I was in my own house. And I promptly put the first one in all the colors. My Father didn't want us to "mess" anything up by not doing it well or correctly. I can still remember my safety poster I had to do in 1st grade, that obviously wasn't done by me. It was Mickey as the sorcerer and all I can remember is how embarassed I was because I must have been so stupid that I couldn't even do a poster on my own. I can still see that darn poster hanging up-it really stood out!

DD does all her own projects, homework, etc. Last year she won first prize at the science fair. Let the other parents hover over their kids and do their stuff for them, your child will learn more and be thankful you let him do things on his own.

 

[Aristomommy]

I think that's a weird concept: read and you get a disease??? Teachers couldn't think of anything more creative than that??

Anyway, I always thought that 15 minutes a day was sufficient at this age level. Our school has a reading log and you can mark 100 minutes a day, but 15 minutes a day will get the maximum points just as well as anything above and beyond that. DD was an eager reader and some days we would have over an hour of independent reading in elementary school, but it wasn't bragging right on anything extra in class.

 

[XTinabell]

I am starting to come around the idea of home schooling myself. My dh and his siblings were home schooled and I have never in my life met more sheltered and socially awkward people. Dh was able to spend a good chunk of his life in public and private schools and was home schooled for his senior year so he wasn't nearly as sheltered as his siblings but in comparison to most people he was quite socially awkward.

If you home school I think it's very important to make sure your children are involved in all sorts of public activities, from sports to music to art classes whatever because children need the social involvement and dealing with cheaters and mean people are part of growing up. However with the rise in bullying and the extremities of bullying I'm starting to see the appeal in home schooling myself. But I don't think pulling kids out of school because you don't want them to deal with cheaters and competition is necessarily the right course of action.