I'm so very sad.

[binny]

I have been having a really hard time lately with Karissa. I try so hard to get her all the help she needs and to help her get caught up and most of the time I feel really good about it. Most days it seems like she will be fine and that that day isnt so far away.

But this week has been different.


I just feel really frustrated and sad that she has these problems and I wonder what I did to make her like this? Did I not hold her enough as a baby? Did I not give her what she needed? Did I do something wrong while I was pregnant? What did I do wrong?

I admit to feeling sorry for myself this week. And sorry for her.

I dont feel like I can do anything more than what Im doing. Shes in a special school, she is in therapy, Ive taken her to all the doctors that I can. They all say the same thing. Its all about time. We just have to wait, no one knows.


I was really struggling this morning and dh and were arguing about her and how to deal with her and Ive been crying. I took her to Kaylees school bus and this other mom was there. Karissa saw her and said " Oh my Grandma" Which is embarassing for me and the other mom but in Karissa's defense this other mom looks older than she is. Then this woman looks at me and says " Is she" and then she makes the sign for crazy! I said "no she isnt! She just has some learning disabilities!"

She tried to back track but the damage was done. I was already so upset and the she said that and omgosh I barely made it home before I burst into tears.

Im sitting here bawling as I type this.

Im just so sad.

 

[snoopy]

Awww, binny, I'm sorry you are feeling so down.

Here's a - hope your day gets better.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

That woman was very insensitive. Some people

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[grinningghost]

Don't worry binny, things will get better. And don't blame yourself for the way things are - I'm sure you are a great mom and always have been. It's hard not to blame ourselves when our kids aren't perfect, but that's why we have friends to lean on. Hang in there sweetie.

 

[tkyes]

Wow, that women was incredibly rude! How horrible. You're a great mom, you're doing everything you can. Hang in there!

 

[DawnCt1]

I am sorry that you are having a hard time. Sometimes its two steps forward and one step back. It sounds like you are trying hard. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. She'll get there!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

That was incredibly rude of that woman.

I'm so sorry Binny.

 

[MB MinnieGirl]

I'm sorry. People can be so cruel!

Please do not blame yourself. From your post it seems that you are a wonderful, caring and concerned mother who loves her child very dearly - THAT is what children need the most. Your DD is blessed to have you.

I'm sending lots of prayers and pixie dust your way for a happier day without sadness or hurtful remarks.

 

[Tinkerbelle739]

I am so sorry you are feeling bad today!

You are doing your best for your daughter. Having a child with learning difficulties in never easy but the sooner you come to terms with it the sooner you can enjoy your life and allow your daughter to enjoy hers. It isn't something you did.

And as far as the parent at the bus stop, HOW RUDE! Even if she was just joking that is not a nice thing to say to a parent, especially in front of your daughter, what if she had seen!

Maybe you should ask your daughters therapist or school if there is a parent support group in your area, that may help.

 

[tc]

I am so sorry you are having a tough week. I am sure your doctors have told you that it was nothing you did. Karissa does not have these problems because of someone's error. There's really no explaining it. But, I do believe God does not give us any more than we can handle, and, although it's tough now, both you and Karissa will get through this. Have patience and just enjoy her, right now, the way things are. I know you love her just the way she is, but get overwhelmed with the added stuff that comes with a child with special needs. Just take a minute, take a deep breath and tomorrow will be a better day.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Binny,

Sounds like you are having one tough week. You have not done one wrong thing. And that woman was rude. Even if she was put off by the remark, she shouldn't have asked if your DD was crazy.

Hey all kids say things we wish they didn't

 

[SnoWhite]

That was incredibly rude. Some people just don't think.

I'm sorry you are feeling down today. Here's a

 

[ILUVDXL]

You poor kid. Go ahead and have a good cry. I know it makes me feel better when I'm frustrated. You can't blame yourself for any of Karissa's problems. Sounds to me that like the good Mother you are, you're doing everything you can to help her. As for that insensative creep at the bus stop, looks like she could use a little help her self. Keep your chin up kiddo na lots of You know we'll all be here if you need us.

 

[Microcell]

I hope to make you laugh with some of the funny stories that mortified me at the time! I can only imagine how you feel. I worked with adults and kids with developmental disabilities, and though I don't know the level of your daughter's, but every single parent I have dealt with feels exactly the same way you do. I told them what I will tell you- of all the people with disabilities in the world, only 50% can doctors even trace an origin, and usually genetic. You can't know ahead if you have something genetic. It is not your fault.

Your daughter probably does not shake children that are reprimanded by their parents in a restaurant does she? I worked with a man who would do just that when a parent would say shut up or sit down. He would go after the child because it seemed to bother him most when a dad was doing it and he just wanted it to stop. I would have to peel him off the kid and the stunned parent would not react- any of the five or so times it happened on my watch! One time I could see it coming, the dad seemed sooo loud to me even and the man I worked with was repeating quietly to himself "Shouldn't say shut up..." I knew this was the man's mantra before the shaking would start. I looked at my co worker and said after a deep breath- I better try to head this off at the pass. I was incredibly embarrassed, but I got up and walked over to the man and said "Sir, do you see the group over there I am with?" 'yes' he responded. "Well, sir, please don't take this the wrong way, I would never presume to interfere in your discussion with your child, but of you continue to yell and say 'sit down' to your child, that blond man is gonna come over here and try to shake your kid. Now I am going to do my best to keep him from doing that but he is pretty quick once he sets his mind to it. He has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so if you could help him out and not yell until I can get the check paid and get out of here, that would be great!" The man said nothing and stared at me. I leaned over to the kid and said very quietly, "Can you do me a favor and sit down so your dad dosen't have to tell you? Thanks"

My coworker paid the bill and we hightailed it out of there. We could not stop laughing all the way back to the group home. We had so many tense situations that we learned to handle it with humor.


Also, kids just say embarrasing stuff- my non developmentally disabled sister told our babysitter when we were kids that she was too old to be pregnant!

I hope I made you feel better.

 

[Fishbone†]

I'm sorry, but I just want to come and rag that lady out. What was that???? I can not believe she did that..... ARGH!!

I am so sorry Binny - I'm sorry that you are frustrated this week, and I'm sorry that there are people who are less than supportive, and down right stupid out there........ talk about loco.

The thing is Binny..... not everyone is entrusted with a special child like Karissa..... only those that can be counted on to love and care for her unconditionally. Only those with patience and love to share....... you must be worthy of that trust.

You're doing all that you can to give her the best and offer her a chance to become what she was created to be. You don't know what that is, or what kind of skills, characteristics, senses or lack there of that she will need...... she very likely has a purpose greater than any of us could imagine, and whatever it is, she will have just what she needs for it..... and with all that you're doing and have done, you are giving her a significant jump at becoming the best of whatever she will be..... but mostly, you are letting her know that you love her, care for her, and believe in her, and that is invaluable. You really can't do anything greater than that for her.

Hang in there........ you'll see the rewards..... I know you will.

 

[Dizkneenurse]

Don't have words of wisdom..just wanted to give you a

so sorry that you are sad, I am sure that you are an awesome mom and you are doing everything that you can to help your DD


heidi

 

[Lachesis00]

(((Binny))))

 

[eeyore kelly]

I know it is easier said than done, but please try to put the idiot at the bus stop out of your mind. You are doing the best for your child and that is all that matters. NONE of your baby's problems are your fault. You are involved and doing the best for you child. I would recommend a support group. It would be a relief to go and share you thoughts, fears, and problems with those who have the same thoughts, fears, and problems. I think it would help.

 

[Rajah]

 

[4nana]

Binny, <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_2_104.gif' border=0></a>

So sorry, hang in there....
We all have these days, tomorrow will be brighter.

{{{hugs}}} Sandie