I'm so bummed.. (updated- pg4)

[april riddle]

Hi Laurarn - I live in NC too - in Guilford county - the law you are talking about doesn't go into effect until next school year. Did your school system already put it into place? We started school last week. I personally don't like my children going to school all of August but of course that is a personal opinion. I grew up in Canada and that we never went back to school until after Labor Day and went until the end of June. I quess it is all what you are used to.

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

Why fret over days missed in kindergarten or any elementary grade.

I wouldn't.. and didn't. But my oldest has left elementary now. Granted 5th grade used to be an "elementary" grade when I was young- but here nowadays it isn't. Elementary goes up to 4th grade here- 5/6th goes to Intermediate and they are stricter, harder, etc. than elementary.

 

[momof3luvs2run]

We are pulling my 5th grader, 3rd grader and preK out of school in November for our cruise. They will be missing 4 days of school total out of our 8 day vacation. This is the first time we have pulled them out for a vacation. My son (3rd grade) is finishing up 2 years of chemotherapy for leukemia in September. This is our BIG getaway that we all need and deserve. I honestly don't really care what they miss those 4 days. This family vacation is more important to our family. School homework can be made up.

Good luck deciding. I vote -- GO FOR IT!!!

 

[Tera]

I don't know about Texas, but I don't see any school here in Colorado taking a family to court because their child missed a few days over the "allotted" time for a family vacation. Now I don't really like to have my kids miss too many days in the middle of a school year, but if it's the beginning or in our case next year, end of a school year, I have no problem with it.

My DD's are in 4th and 7th (middle school here) and as long as the teachers/school knows ahead of time, I don't see anyone having a problem with it. Now as for doing "homework" while on vacation, I don't agree. A journal is one thing, but I remember as a kid, my family went on vacations in the middle of the year and I was stuck doing book reports the whole time and it stunk! My girls are pretty good students and I know they'll make what they need to up when they get home.

Go on vacation and enjoy it!!

 

[lbgraves]

Laurarn, I am also upset with our legislature & can't wait for them to start crying the blues when their income for the end of May when some schools here got out goes down. I really liked being able to travel the last two weeks of May & avoid August. Who wants to come to NC in August anyway...too hot & hurricanes & bugs. Next summer is going to be terrible with over 3 months of vacation.

I am happy that the principal of the elementary school DS just started Kindergarten at this year is supportive of family time with vacations and has told me that she will approve the absence & will not let it affect his promotion. He is already bored since he can read a little & is way ahead in math so I doubt that he will fall behind in class. I will just have to make sure our hopefully yearly cruise doesn't fall when the state testing happens starting in 3rd grade.

 

[Tera]

lbgraves - That's probably the one time I would avoid the kids being out. They make such a big deal about it here and put way more pressure on the kids than I think they need to, but that's how it is :-(

 

[HooKooDooKu]

I don't have kids in school and I'm already sick of how they keep changing the schedule each year.

Of course what seems to be happening is there is one group that wants year-round school and another that doesn't. So each year they "quietly" change the schedule to be more and more like year-round (wish they would just do it and get it over with). It used to be that the kids were out of school for a full three months and didnt' return until the first of September. This year, they were starting as early as Aug 9.

 

[Mickeyhugger]

Add me to the list of parents who are fed up w/schools not disclosing (or being able to) disclose what the schedule is for the next year.

I was one of the lucky ones to get through early on May 5 to attempt to book Disney's repo cruise to the west coast. We were so eager, at first, w/the itinerary and incredible price for three of us. I, sadly, had to decline when I learned it was May 14. There was no way we could have pulled DD out of school the last 10 days, and we ended up booking November 2005.

Well, when we attended DD's school orientation this past Friday night, lo and behold...her last day is May 18th (we could've skipped the last 4!). My first words to DH (after reading that) were WE COULD HAVE TAKEN THE DISNEY REPO CRUISE!

I know some school systems have valid reasons for doing things the way they do, but wish they were able to plan at least a year or two in advance. I think it would benefit most everyone.

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by lbgraves
He is already bored since he can read a little & is way ahead in math so I doubt that he will fall behind in class. I will just have to make sure our hopefully yearly cruise doesn't fall when the state testing happens starting in 3rd grade.

My daughter is going into kindergarted and I already talked to the principal about pulling her out for at least a week and a day each year...he said just try not to do it in May of any grade...I said "well...I can do that after this coming year but this year I already have a cruise boked for May 2005...he said since its kindergarten it doesn't matter anyway but if I could try not to take her out in May after that..I said fine....I don't mind going in April (as long as its not spring break time)....he doesn't hassel me about taking her out and I will certainly cooperate with him about not going in May. I dont have any worries about taking her out this year, she is just going into kindergarten and she reads, does addition and subtraction, can tell time and write. She is currently working on workbooks that are 2nd grade level and teaching herself sign language and is going to start a Spanish enrichment class to start learning Spainish so kindergarten shouldn't be to hard for her right now....The school has no gifted programs until 6th grade so she will be in regular classes anyway...

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

Well....... changing our cruise to April 23rd is out of the question. The difference in price is over $2200! Ugh... I don't want to spend that much more!

The way they changed the schedule -now that I look at it more closely after the initial shock of no break in Feb like they always had for years before... is really messed up IMO.

Before we had 2wks Christmas break, 1wk Feb break (they called it winter break) and 1wk March break (they called that spring break). That was great... we never had any hassles fighting crowds because our spring break was not what other schools seemed to have for spring break.

Those week breaks were also long enough that it was a weekend, week off (5 days), then another weekend= 9 days total... so they always coincided atleast for 3-4 days that my husband was off so we could go camping/etc. with our travel trailer or do other things. (he works rotating shifts- off 3 days sometimes, off 4 days sometimes... every 4wks those days off are in a row to equal 7 days off in a row)

But this is how they are doing it now:
Oct break which is only a Fri/mon--- that's not a break to me, that's a long weekend. It equals 4 days out of school- instead of 9.
2 weeks Christmas -no problem (wouldn't be a problem for us if that was shorter either- that equals 16 days off in a row!)
March break which is only Thurs/Fri/Mon out-- also not a break to me- that equals 5 days out of school instead of 9.
(all these "long weekend" type breaks do us no good as far as camping and such... my husband's days off rarely are on weekends the way his schedule works out..)

Then April 23rd a week bread... which I think is beyond stupid because then they just have 3.5 weeks of school after that break. *rolling my eyes*

It's TOTALLY changed.. and now they go from Christmas to almost the end of April (besides that stupid long weekend break in March) for their breaks. How stupid is it to have spring break then go back to school for only 3wks? ugh

Stupid stupid stupid...

I guess we'll just have to see how my oldest is doing this year in 5th grade and then see how the teachers (plural... she has many different teachers this year instead of one main one) feel about it. We'd have to make this decision before Nov which is the latest we could cancel the cruise and get refunded. I have my fingers crossed but honestly it doesn't look good... what are the odds that ALL those teachers will be fine with it and it not cost her grades (zeros when unexcused absence) for us to go.

 

[FredS]

Originally posted by BibbidyBobbidyBoo
... My concern is that here (Texas) they are very strict (or rather- CAN be if they want...) about absences and it's really up to them if they want to count it as unexcused. ...

...Problem is I'm not sure how her teachers are going to feel about it this year... it's not just a new school with new principal and teacher... this year they have many teachers for various classes instead of one main teacher- therefore ALL the teachers would have to agree to it. I realize I could take her out regardless... but if they are counted as unexcused absences (she can only have 5 each semester unexcused absences before they will take court action and/or fines! They are very strict here... we have to sign papers saying we understand these laws/etc. on the first day of school! Have it sitting here in front of me now. *sigh*) -then I won't take her out... because that will not only mean the hassle I mentioned above (legally) but also she'll get zeros for everything during that time. She's a straight A student (so far atleast) and I wouldn't want her grades brought down by a week of zeros in every class.

They missed a few days last year because while we took a longer trip we planned it around the Thanksgiving holiday that they had days out anyway... other than that neither of my kids have ever missed a sick day... so other than our vacation they have perfect attendance records. If they had illnesses/etc. that caused them to miss other days- then I wouldn't take them out for vacations... but they don't... so this is ALL they ever miss.

I'm going to have to call to find out the price difference to go in April instead of Feb... and I guess depending on how steep the difference is I'll decide then what to do. I'm very hesitant to take her out if they consider it unexcused absences and give her zeros though.

I absolutely would not take her out of class. If she is a straight A student then I expect she will be very upset -- at getting zeros, missing her lessons and likely getting a negative reaction from one or more teachers. And you have to realize that she may get sick AFTER your vacation since you planned the cruise fairly early in the school year so you can't really say that it is okay to take vacation because they haven't missed any days due to sickness. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think the price that your daughter will pay if she misses a week of middle school will be much higher than whatever extra money the change in the week costs.

If nothing else, I would cancel the cruise for now and do something else as a family during the school break. You can have wonderful family times during the break even if you aren't on a caribbean cruise!

 

[Tera]

Well, I don't agree with FredS, but you need to do what you think is right for YOUR family. I do have a middle schooler myself and she's not a straight A student and I still wouldn't think twice about taking her out for 5 days for a family vacation. They are getting to a age when they hardly want us around as it is. I know plenty of teachers and they know family vacation happen and I think as long as they know ahead of time and it's not during some criticial testing time and we're lucky enough to have a very supportive principal at our school.

 

[FredS]

I think you are missing my point, Tera. Since there are very strict rules about unexcused absences you can be sure that this child will pay the price for missing this week of middle school. Whether you agree with the rules or not, when she gets negative reactions from her teachers and zeros in her classes she will suffer for it, besides probably missing lessons which she needs to do well following the trip.

It isn't a debate on whether the school's rules are fair or infringing on our rights as parents or anything like that. I am not saying whether I agree or disagree with the school's policy, and I sympathize with having to change plans or pay additonal monies. However, I think the original poster asked opinions based on the circumstances involved, and I am stated mine based on how I believe it will affect her daughter.

 

[wide awake]

Sorry FredS, I don't agree with you. I am a teacher, and knowing administrators as I do, all the OP would have to do is throw a fit. The Principal would fold, the teacher would do as they were told, and the family would have their vacation...and the child would have their 4.00 G.P.A. The attendance rules are there for the district to collect ADA...no normal family is going to have a problem because they've taken a Disney cruise...imagine the PR !! As far as missing vital tests...there are no important tests until college boards. Those you need to plan for, the rest are learning experiences for your child.

 

[april riddle]

I agree with you wide awake - and I know this has been a heated topic before - do we take our children out of school or not? Personally - I hope that teaching my children that family time is very important. I have one in middle-school and one in elementary and feel that as long as they will go with us - we may take them out of school if needed. We never know what tomorrow will bring, so we enjoy our time with our boys.

 

[FredS]

Throwing a fit?! Do you really think that will make things better for this person's daughter? Yes, there have been heated debates on whether or not schools should be strict about these rules. My point, AGAIN, is that whether you agree or not the child will pay the price -- poor grades, disapproval from administrators, lack of lessons, etc.

Don't kill the messenger, or get all "family time is important" when that is not the point. The point is that in this situation the child will get behind in her lessons, get poor grades and be made to feel like she has done something wrong. I can't put a price on those things for a child.

 

[april riddle]

I quess I consider myself lucky then - our school board does not have such strict rules. I do not disagree with you Fred - If I was in that situation I am not sure what I would do. Has this happened to you? You seem very angry about this. I think we all hope we know our children enough to know whether they can handle this or not. Just my own opinion and I am not a teacher or work in the school system. I do stand by my statement that family time is very important.

 

[aprilgail2]

Well not sure if this will help you but I have already talked to my childs Dr about this and she has no problem giving us a note covering us being "sick" should the school give us a hard time about it (though they shouldn't since I already talked to them but its good to have a backup!)...it then becomes excused absences!!

 

[FredS]

Originally posted by april riddle
I quess I consider myself lucky then - our school board does not have such strict rules. I do not disagree with you Fred - If I was in that situation I am not sure what I would do. Has this happened to you? You seem very angry about this. I think we all hope we know our children enough to know whether they can handle this or not. Just my own opinion and I am not a teacher or work in the school system. I do stand by my statement that family time is very important.

Angry? No, I am not at all angry. But perhaps my frustration showed when I just stated my firmly held opinion of what I would do in these circumstances, and repeated it when some said that they disagreed with ME, but their disagreement seemed actually with the school, and not addressing my reason (the child's feelings at getting zeros, being behind in her lessons and disapproval from her teachers) for not taking the cheaper vacation. If OP or anyone feels that their child would not be bothered by this then obviously that is their choice. I think nearly all children, particularly one who is an excellent student, would be upset at the repercussions.

I didn't say the school was perfect, the rules were absolutely fair or that families didn't matter! Family time is absolutely priceless. Not the point. Family time can be spent many places in many ways at many times. But if it was my choice I simply would find other times and places than this one which will cause problems for my child. It is that simple.

P. S. Also, I must add that throwing a fit to get one's way, lying and obtaining fraudulent doctor's excuses (what is your child supposed to say when she returns from a week-long absense and everyone is saying how sorry they are that she was sick for so long? wow...) don't seem like the best example for one's child, but again, parents are allowed the make the choices they see fit.

 

[wide awake]

Well, parents are not allowed to make the choices they would like. If that were the case fits and lies would not be necessary. As it is we are forced to be devious to protect our family time...and budget.