My DS (13) has had a lot of money lately. He gets money from relatives and he "works" for his uncle and earns some money. I didn't think much of him having money because it didn't seem like he was spending an overabundance of it, just what he gets from those sources. He's been going out to eat with his friends and telling me that he picks up the tab sometimes and they buy other times. They aren't going to expensive places, but places like Friendly's, Pizza Hut and a local diner.
So, I've been talking to people who are telling me that he always has a lot of cash when he's out and he likes to flaunt it. I had given him $30 to go to an amusement park on Tuesday with a church group. My youngest sister went with him and said he had well over $100 with him. He claimed that he had $52 when I asked him about it.
I spoke to his friend's mother last night and she told me that he had a wad of cash at the local carnival. She was concerned about his safety since he wasn't subtle about taking the cash from his pocket. It was during that conversation that I found out that his friends don't buy when they go out to dinner. My DS picks up the tab ALL THE TIME since he's the only one who ever has money. He also buys them things in the shops around town.
So, when DH got home last night, I told him about these concerns. It was around 10:30 and our DS was supposed to sleep over this friend's house, but when my DH checked his stash of cash he found that our DS had stolen over $6,000 from us. Money that was well hidden. (Why DH had so much cash in the house is beyond me and the rest has been deposited in the bank this morning.) We called DS and told him he was coming home now.
He denied stealing the cash but as we pressed him, he finally admitted that he'd taken it $100 at a time. He hasn't confessed as to why he did it other than to tell us that he didn't know whose money it was (DUH!) and he told me this morning that he took it because sometimes I make him mad (again, DUH! I'm his mother and it's not my job to make him happy by giving him his own way 100% of the time.) He's remorseful now because he's in trouble.
I told him that he's broken our trust and that if he'd stolen from someone else he'd be sitting in jail right now. He's in his room right now. We told him that we're going to setup an account into which he can accumulate the money that he stole from us. He told us to take the money from his college savings. Yeah, like that's going to happen. That's just more money that we saved for him to make things easier later. He claims that he's going to go to a military academy so he won't need money for college. I explained to him last night how few people make it into these academies and their grades are much better than what he's bringing home.
Basically, he's got an answer for everything except for why he did this.
If you've read this far, thank you. I feel like I've babbled through my venting.
Here's the bottom line... aside from making him repay this money, what other punishments do you suggest that we lay upon him? I'm thinking service hours/community service at a soup kitchen along with grounding him. This has just hit too close to home for me to think clearly and fairly about it.
So, I've been talking to people who are telling me that he always has a lot of cash when he's out and he likes to flaunt it. I had given him $30 to go to an amusement park on Tuesday with a church group. My youngest sister went with him and said he had well over $100 with him. He claimed that he had $52 when I asked him about it.
I spoke to his friend's mother last night and she told me that he had a wad of cash at the local carnival. She was concerned about his safety since he wasn't subtle about taking the cash from his pocket. It was during that conversation that I found out that his friends don't buy when they go out to dinner. My DS picks up the tab ALL THE TIME since he's the only one who ever has money. He also buys them things in the shops around town.
So, when DH got home last night, I told him about these concerns. It was around 10:30 and our DS was supposed to sleep over this friend's house, but when my DH checked his stash of cash he found that our DS had stolen over $6,000 from us. Money that was well hidden. (Why DH had so much cash in the house is beyond me and the rest has been deposited in the bank this morning.) We called DS and told him he was coming home now.
He denied stealing the cash but as we pressed him, he finally admitted that he'd taken it $100 at a time. He hasn't confessed as to why he did it other than to tell us that he didn't know whose money it was (DUH!) and he told me this morning that he took it because sometimes I make him mad (again, DUH! I'm his mother and it's not my job to make him happy by giving him his own way 100% of the time.) He's remorseful now because he's in trouble.
I told him that he's broken our trust and that if he'd stolen from someone else he'd be sitting in jail right now. He's in his room right now. We told him that we're going to setup an account into which he can accumulate the money that he stole from us. He told us to take the money from his college savings. Yeah, like that's going to happen. That's just more money that we saved for him to make things easier later. He claims that he's going to go to a military academy so he won't need money for college. I explained to him last night how few people make it into these academies and their grades are much better than what he's bringing home.
Basically, he's got an answer for everything except for why he did this.
If you've read this far, thank you. I feel like I've babbled through my venting.
Here's the bottom line... aside from making him repay this money, what other punishments do you suggest that we lay upon him? I'm thinking service hours/community service at a soup kitchen along with grounding him. This has just hit too close to home for me to think clearly and fairly about it.
It must be heartwrenching.
