I'm having second thoughts on flying international. (LONG)

[*Fantasia*]

I'm already scared of flying.. and all these issues that has been happening lately about terrorists/airport securities doesn't help.

I was so excited to go back to my motherland, the Philippines (where I was born and left when to U.S when I was 10.) up until now. My plan is to fly to Manila in May. It's been 17 years since the last time I visited. With all these negative things happening, I'm not sure now if I really want to go. The flight is approximately 22 hours including the layovers. I am going by myself.

I had my passport. At first I thought I had to renew it, but on the way to get it renewed, I looked at the date and it won't be expired til 2013. But a week or two later, I have misplaced it somewhere in the house. It's been about a month now and still can't find it. I am wondering if this is a sign?

I'm a widow with three children (two are by my late husband the last one was a blessing with someone I'm with now.) I would hate for something to happen to me while on the way there/back or during my trip. I would hate to leave my children behind. I am the only one they got since my two children already lost their father at the young age.

Is it right for me to feel this way? Feeling insecure about flying and having doubts? I don't know what to do. I haven't booked my flight yet. I want to take the children with me, but money is an issue and the children are still in school. I am going there to attend this big event and to reconnect with my culture and see my relatives/friends again. Sorry if I gave too much infos here. I just wanted you guys to know where I was coming from.. I hope I am making sense here.. Thank you for understanding..

If I don't go, I might just take the children to Disneyworld this summer. We will drive. = D

Any input or advice, they are welcome. Thank you in advance!!

 

[ChrisFL]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with fearing flying...but just remember, you're in a lot more danger just driving around or walking across the street statistically.

I had the great opportunity to visit the Philippines last year, spent 2 months there (for work) and really enjoyed it . If you haven't been for 17 years, you may really be surprised how much it's modernized in places...the food there was awesome and I still crave some favorites like sisig and the mangoes

Yes, it IS a long time to fly, I had 3 flights, Dallas to Tokyo to Manila, but there was plenty of movies to see on the plane, plus the laptop I brought etc. so it didn't feel so bad.

Realistically you're going far away from any of the "hotspots" that airports are looking for, they're all in Africa, the Middle East and a couple of places in Europe.

I would say "go for it!"

 

[FireDancer]

There is nothing wrong with being afraid. There is a chance that something could happen but as PP pointed out the probability of dying in a car accident is far greater then an airline disaster.

In the end though I would not let the fear or long flight keep me home. Once we start to fear everything and alter our lives out of that fear the people who want to do us harm have manage to do so, without a single casualty. Is there a small chance of death when we fly, drive, get in a boat, or just about anything else? Yes. It rather take that small chance then the regret of not going.

If it is important for you to I I'd go. If your fear is too great you don't have to, but don't let such a small chance at hard keep you from doing it.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

I'm already scared of flying.. and all these issues that has been happening lately about terrorists/airport securities doesn't help.

I was so excited to go back to my motherland, the Philippines (where I was born and left when to U.S when I was 10.) up until now. My plan is to fly to Manila in May. It's been 17 years since the last time I visited. With all these negative things happening, I'm not sure now if I really want to go. The flight is approximately 22 hours including the layovers. I am going by myself.

I had my passport. At first I thought I had to renew it, but on the way to get it renewed, I looked at the date and it won't be expired til 2013. But a week or two later, I have misplaced it somewhere in the house. It's been about a month now and still can't find it. I am wondering if this is a sign?

I'm a widow with three children (two are by my late husband the last one was a blessing with someone I'm with now.) I would hate for something to happen to me while on the way there/back or during my trip. I would hate to leave my children behind. I am the only one they got since my two children already lost their father at the young age.

Is it right for me to feel this way? Feeling insecure about flying and having doubts? I don't know what to do. I haven't booked my flight yet. I want to take the children with me, but money is an issue and the children are still in school. I am going there to attend this big event and to reconnect with my culture and see my relatives/friends again. Sorry if I gave too much infos here. I just wanted you guys to know where I was coming from.. I hope I am making sense here.. Thank you for understanding..

If I don't go, I might just take the children to Disneyworld this summer. We will drive. = D

Any input or advice, they are welcome. Thank you in advance!!

Oh, honey, I completely understand your fear. Really I do. I am terrified of flying because I've built it up in my mind that if I fly, then the plane is going down! But, I've flown and guess what? I'm still here. It's hard when you're scared and having a fear of flying is genuine and not irrational. And I'm sure it must be even more difficult for you since you have your kids to think about as well. In my opinion, it's pretty normal to feel that way.

That is a long flight to the Philippines. My brother-in-law's mom is from there and every 6 months or so she flies back to visit family. Bottom line, if you're really that worried about going and knowing that you'd have to spend 44 hours in the air, then don't go. However, if you think you can deal with it and the idea of reconnecting with your family is stronger than your fear, then go. Nobody here can tell you what is right for you to do. It's a difficult decision to make. Whatever your decision, be sure it's something you feel comfortable with. Good luck!

 

[*Fantasia*]

Thank you guys for understanding and giving me your inputs. With flying, my late husband said to me once that when flying, you have no control, you are at the pilots' mercy and when the plane goes down what are the chances of getting out of the plane alive.. VS.. driving a car, you have control of the wheels and when you get into an accident, your chances of living is far better than falling off the sky thousands of miles plunging to the ground. And I agree with him.. Does it make any sense?

My children far weighs more than my relatives and friends over there and the event I have been looking forward to see. I guess I have a few more weeks to think about what I want to do. It's a hard decision for me. I know Manila is not a "popular destination" of the terrorists.. but you never know. Sigh..
Maybe behind this fear, I might have already made my decision... maybe.

 

[JessicaR]

Thank you guys for understanding and giving me your inputs. With flying, my late husband said to me once that when flying, you have no control, you are at the pilots' mercy and when the plane goes down what are the chances of getting out of the plane alive.. VS.. driving a car, you have control of the wheels and when you get into an accident, your chances of living is far better than falling off the sky thousands of miles plunging to the ground. And I agree with him.. Does it make any sense?

My children far weighs more than my relatives and friends over there and the event I have been looking forward to see. I guess I have a few more weeks to think about what I want to do. It's a hard decision for me. I know Manila is not a "popular destination" of the terrorists.. but you never know. Sigh..
Maybe behind this fear, I might have already made my decision... maybe.

Sigh..
Maybe behind this fear, I might have already made my decision... maybe

It sounds that way. I don't believe that any of us can talk you into or out of this. It is your decision and you have to be comfortable with it. Honestly its a long flight, a long way from home, and your children arent going to be with you. Thats what I hear when I read your post. Maybe you can postpone until the kids can go too? I can imagine that would be quite an expense though. I would feel just like you do if I had to make the same decision.

 

[janette]

I think it would be a little scary for you to leave the kids for a time even without it being half way across the world. Are you going to visit family or for an event? Once you get there you'll be so busy the time will go quickly; the flight will be long but really the statistics don't lie many more people die in car accidents than in air accidents it's just that in an airplane there are more at the same time.

Once you start planning it may get easier to think about what you are going to do there rather than worry about the travel.

I'm hoping to take my girls to the Philippines within the next couple of years; their grandmother is Filipino and has family there. I know some of the family that lives here and they all love to entertain. I expect that we will be treated quite well on our trip and have to worry for nothing. I'm a little leery of being so far from home but like that most people do speak English although not to each other. I'm hoping MIL will be able to go with us; not looking forward to the travel either but I think we'll enjoy it once we are there.

 

[Minnie]

In a short time I will be on another international flight for work and yes I am definitely giving it a few thoughts... More so this time than any of the others in quite some time....

But these thoughts, fears, concerns will NOT stop me from boarding that plane. When we give into fear our lives become so much less than what they could be

However, reading your words I'm wondering if you are really looking for a way out of going? Making memories with your kids might be more important than this trip? If that's the real reason then I'd say go enjoy with your kids

BTW - I'm a single parent and yes when I travel I worry about being away from DS. I'm very fortunate that he has loving grandparents that care for him but it never really goes away. Apparently it doesn't help when their adults either.... as my mom worries when I travel

 

[handinpocket]

Go to WDW and make beautiful memories with your kiddos!

 

[FireDancer]

driving a car, you have control of the wheels and when you get into an accident, your chances of living is far better than falling off the sky thousands of miles plunging to the ground. And I agree with him.. Does it make any sense?

A lot of the control you feel you have while driving is false. Not only do you not control the drivers around you but if the car has a mechanical failure most drivers either can't or don't know how to properly operate the car until it stops.

Probability is also more important than survivability. Being ground zero of a nuclear blast or biological weapon attack has near zero survivability but the probability of it happening keeps us going about our normal lives. While the survivability of an airline disaster is lower than a car the probability of it happening is also much lower.

Whether you go or not is your decision and there isn't really a right or wrong one but make sure to make it for a concrete reason and not one that has such a low likelihood of happening. I would rather take the chance of dying in a crash then wishing I had taken a trip I wanted to because of a fear of that same crash. If it is the leaving of the kids behind that makes you second guess the flight make that the criteria for a decision instead of the unlikely air disaster.

 

[DMRick]

This is off topic, but I just wanted to say I can't believe how big your older kids have gotten. You have a beautiful family, and I'm so happy for you for your latest addition. I remember all you went through .
That said, I think single mom's sometimes have a harder time leaving their children. I think I would vacation with the kids, and save the trip to Manila for when they are able to take care of themselves. How much would you enjoy the trip, if your heart and thoughts were always back with the kids?

 

[*Fantasia*]

I really do want to go. I even started looking at some airfare and started doing a little shopping for clothes for me to wear there prior to Christmas.
I'm not trying to look for a way out. It's just this fear is just killing the excitment to where I feel like I don't even want to go. I guess all I can think of are my children, especially the little one. He is still very attached to me and that's a problem that I am not sure if he can bare without me for a week (as much as I want to stay for two weeks, no can do, the children are still in school and I don't want to leave them for too long.) And I don't know if I can leave him knowing he can't do without me.

I thought about just waiting it out and saving money and taking the children with me. I think I would feel better doing it that way. At least if anything happens.. well, God forbid, I am with them. They have never been to the Philippines. So this will be a culture shock for them. There won't be any languange barrier because English is our second language. And yes, they may not speak English among themselves, but they will speak English when necessary.

Knowing my children, I think they'd rather go to Disneyworld!! But I don't think they'd mind learning about their roots (They are half African-American and half Filipino and the baby is full Filipino.)

Maybe this is one of the reasons why I haven't gone back to the PI in a long time is the long flight there and back. I'll give it about two weeks to a month and see the status of airport securities and if there will be any more incidents on terrorists..

Thank you everyone for replying and sharing your thoughts. I'm considering everything that is said here.

 

[*Fantasia*]

Thank you DMRick.. Yes, they've grown! I didn't think I would have another one.. it's a blessing! We're all doing fine. Thanks for remembering. = )
" I think single mom's sometimes have a harder time leaving their children." Exactly how I feel and I think it's only natural to feel this way when you know that they only have you (children having only one parent).

 

[gm]

I feel the same way. I love to travel abroad and will not stop but what stops me is how much harder it is to travel with the long lines for checking extra every time something occurs. Like in newark when someone just walked thru the security check. It was the fault of no security guard there but yet, they inconvienced everyone who was already on planes by making them come off and get rechecked.

 

[janette]

I keep thinking that if we go the Philippines we'll have to make a stop in Japan at Disney Seas. Seems a shame to go all that way and not make the pit-stop. Maybe you can do that when you take the kids. My girls are only 1/4 Filipino but I think it is important for them to visit someday so I can see you wanting to bring the kids. Mine will be adults before we go; I too want to wait until they were older.

I do hope we have a few weeks but one downside of the girls going is that it will have to be summer and that isn't the best time to visit.

My MIL loves to visit during the holidays for the parties, festivals etc.

 

[*Fantasia*]

jeanette>> yes, summer is not the best time to go to the Philippines.. lol. it's typhoon season! it's wet season. you'll see tons of frogs.. lol.. and mosquitos.

narita or tokyo is usually where our layover is. yes, it would be ashame to stop there and not see Disney!! i just can't see myself enjoying without the children. i will enjoy but at the same time, i think i would feel a little guilty..
that's a good suggestion. maybe i can do that with the children.

 

[bavaria]

Airport security tends to be much stricter in Asia and in Europe

In many airports around the world
- one cannot enter the terminal without a boarding pass and ID ie only passengers can enter
- vehicles are searched before they can near the terminal area
- military guard the entrance and the terminal
- all bags are scanned on entering the terminal, including checked and carry on bags and checked bags are then sealed
- airlines practice positive passenger bag match
- all passengers are physically searched; not the vague 'pat down' of the TSA but a thorough feel of the full body
- a security interview is conducted with every passenger
- after passing through security one is again checked at the gate
- carry on luggage needs to be tagged and stamped as cleared or one cannot board

Much of this is in effect in Manila, just like in many airports around the world. Remember in Europe and in Asia we have had unfortunately many decades of experience with terrorism, and thus airport and airline safety tends to be much more strict than on American domestic flights.

FireDancer gave you some good rational, statistical advice. I would urge you to research a little and you may be somewhat surprised to find out just how tight the security is internationally, and it will most likely make you feel much better about those flights.

 

[bavaria]

I feel the same way. I love to travel abroad and will not stop but what stops me is how much harder it is to travel with the long lines for checking extra every time something occurs. Like in newark when someone just walked thru the security check. It was the fault of no security guard there but yet, they inconvienced everyone who was already on planes by making them come off and get rechecked.

This is a very good example - in many airports around the world this simply could not have happened as there are one way exit doors, not just a sign and a bored guard to prevent someone from entering.

 

[teskak]

The PP has given a lot of good advice, but how about also considering which airline you fly with, thier safety record, current financial stability and if you are afraid of terrorists, how "juicy" a target they would make.

For example, the latest attack was on Delta Airways, there have been other attacks on Pan Am airways (I cannot recall if there have been any attacks on international United Airlines). All unashamedly American.

Without trying to open up the debate on El Al and Israeli security, how about other airways, say Cathay Pacific a flagship of Hong Kong / China which has not been subject to the same political heat as other countries + there are many flights a day between HK & Manila?

Many of the terrorist issues are then avoided, and HK airport is very very modern with the necessary security features etc.

As for the flight times, as an Aussie you get used to them travelling anywhere internationally - just make sure your ipod is fully charged.

 

[dismom2]

You have a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with your roots and see relatives, and I hope you can work through your anxiety so you can go I think you will be glad you went. It sounds very exciting!

The first couple of times I went on a trip without my children I felt guilty and worried about how they would do while I was gone. But, for some reason, most of the stress disappeared when I reached my destination. I'm not sure exactly why-- I think I was busy, and excited, and truly having a great time; and calling home and emailing my children and realizing that they were happy and doing just fine made me feel so much better. With todays technology, it's so easy to keep in touch as often as you want.

I wouldn't worry about terrorist attacks--the chances are slim. Maybe you can get the kids excited about you going by doing a scrapbook and reading books and such about your destination, and let them know you'll bring them home some great souvenirs and call them everyday.