I'm going to vent about this one more time and then I'm done, I promise.

[disykat]

Sure, her husband will have some visitation. But she will NEVER have to see these people again. Save for a few major occasions, such as weddings etc... That is MUCH preferable to having to see them and kiss their behinds EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND, to the point that you can hardly develop your own life.

If it does come down to divorce, then the OP can move forward. She can live her life free of the control that her husand is allowing his father to have over her and her family.

Is someone FORCING her to see her inlaws? I rarely see mine and it saved my marriage. I'm totally with you on not allowing FIL to control your marriage, but I wasn't going to allow him to control a divorce either. I think the key is to get them OUT of your marriage, not allow them to destroy it. DH and I were able to do that, I hope the OP is as well.

IMO it was worth negotiating a way to keep our marriage together. I don't fight with my inlaws anymore, nor do dh and I fight about them. I just don't see them often and we keep them separate from our marriage. It's worked for us for almost 8 years. (prior to that, it was miserable)