"I'm Going To Bring A Hammer and Bash Your Teeth In"

[grumpeeduck]

That's exactly the reason that we do not use the bus. There is too big of an age difference and not enough (or any) supervision on a school bus. We take our dd's to school and be there to pick them up in the afternoon. It's fun, they love it, and it's extra time with them! But, best of all...........no worries!

 

[Kim&Chris]

Your poor daughter. I'm so sorry she has to deal with this at her age. It's just so sad.

The problem with talking to the other parents is that they are likely just as bad as the kid, and probably won't believe their snowflake could do such a thing. You know the saying....the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Please document everything. If you have to call the principal everyday until something is done....DO IT.

Many years ago, when my younger sister was in 5th grade, a boy pinned her up against the wall and put his hand on her chest. The principal blew it off and refused to do anything. I remember my mom going up to the school, every day, until the principal was forced to deal with it. The animal was suspended, finally!

 

[Explodo]

WEll...I was a smaller when I was a kid and I remember very clearly being bullied...But I always fought back. I fought every single time after about kidergarten. Yes, I got beat up several times...but after a while they wouldn't bother me because I was a pain in the butt to mess with. Between 1st grade and 6th grade I was in the principles office about 4 times a year for fighting. Everytime I was in there it was determined I was defending myself from attack(which I was). My parents always got called when it happened...My dad always told me not to take a beating from anyone without trying to defend myself. I upheld that conviction with vigor.

But in these times, I don;t know if that approach would work...Kids are more apt to use weapons...or objects. All I know is I'm teaching my kids to defend themselves...the boy will most likely be very good at it. My girl just needs to be able to escape to someplace safe.

I fully beleive that kids are taught to be victims...and not taught self defense. This lets the mouth breathing gibbon types have the upper hand when adults aren't around.

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

OP, I'm so sorry this happened to your child. Something similar happened to my nephew a few years ago (maybe 2?). My SIL called and was so upset. I told her to contact the police (not the school) and to file a police report since the bully had a history of being a "problem child." They filed a police complaint and had the (then 10) year old boy charged with assault (which is the threat of physical violence that reasonably causes fear in the victim -- battery is the actual physical act).

The next day the school called and wanted to know why my SIL didn't report the child to them and my SIL told them that they have a history of doing very little to protect the child who is threatened with harm so she took it to the police. They responded very positively -- worked with the school resource officer, etc. In the end, the child faced charges in juvenile court and only then did the school and the child's parent begin to understand how serious things were.

I guess what I'm saying is to just remember that if you don't think the school is doing enough to address the situation, you can always file a report with the police. Sometimes, that provides the wake up call that is needed.

My best to you and your little girl.

K

 

[punkin]

I don't quite completely understand what the reasoning behind 'no retaliation' rules are. What is the kid who gets jumped supposed to do - just sit there and let themselves be pounded to a bloody pulp?

agnes!

Yes! Exactly!!

My daughter is young for her grade and small for her age. However, she is a fighter. She is very involved in a martial art and I "pity the poor fool" who tries to physically mess with her. Luckily for her, she is a tiny little girl with glasses and so has gotten the benefit of the doubt in the past.

 

[Explodo]

But that's the rub...Most bullying takes place when Adults are nowhere to be found...and in many cases it's a He said She said kind of deal. BUllies know full well when they can get away with it.

Teach your kids to defend themselves! At least teach them how to defend themselves long enough as to escape to saftey.

 

[okeydokey]

The really annoying thing is that fear of getting caught isn't holding them back anymore, so the adage that there is strength in numbers doesn't even hold true.

DS12 got jumped by two classmates a few days ago after school. Right after school, when he was completely surrounded by the cars of parents waiting to pick up their children. DS walks home, so we were not there, but several parents called the Principal within minutes of the incident. How stupid do you have to be to jump another kid in full view of 100 parents?

The upshot after several meetings between the Principal and all the boys involved is that all three of them have been given notice that if there is another incident involving the same people, all three of them (including DS) will be suspended, which is EXACTLY what I expected. DS doesn't understand how he can be the victim and still get punished, but I told him that that is how it almost always works when it comes to fighting at school; if you are one of the combatants you get punished, even if you are on the losing end of the situation. (Even 40 years ago when I was in school that was the rule -- we were subject to suspension if we even got caught watching a fight.) He verbally provoked them, so he is being held accountable for his actions, too.

I'm hoping that he has learned a lesson about keeping his head down and watching who he chooses to smart off to, but the bottom line is that no verbal provocation deserves getting held in a chokehold by one guy while another one gut-punches you. Of course, we are not privy to whatever additional punishments the two boys might have received. AFAWK, the school is treating this as a one-free-bite situation, but I'm hoping that they step up the general monitoring and warnings a bit more. All puns aside, the kids need to have the fear of God instilled in them, because they should be scared cross-eyed of the consequences of getting caught roughing up another kid.

I agree, this is an extremely important lesson to learn. I have a middle school aged niece who is extremely mouthy and I'm sure that one day we will get the news that she's been beat up due to her big mouth. It'll be sad, but not the least bit surprising.

 

[PatriciaH]

I would totally have my kids learn martial arts these days. Krav Maga is a good one!

 

[Buckalew11]

My dd dealt with bullies at a Christian school from 2nd to 8th grade. It is a big problem.

I remember a girl on my bus being bullied 25 years ago--the bus driver slowed the bus down to make the ride longer and the bullies had more time for their fun. Day after day this girl was bullied, it was horrible and for no reason. Then, one day they threatened her, got her so upset she ran off the bus when it made a stop, they followed her off, beat her to a pulp and the bus driver waited from them and then drove away leaving this girl out there all bloody and beaten.
And...she did not lose her job. WTH????

 

[okeydokey]

My dd dealt with bullies at a Christian school from 2nd to 8th grade. It is a big problem.

I remember a girl on my bus being bullied 25 years ago--the bus driver slowed the bus down to make the ride longer and the bullies had more time for their fun. Day after day this girl was bullied, it was horrible and for no reason. Then, one day they threatened her, got her so upset she ran off the bus when it made a stop, they followed her off, beat her to a pulp and the bus driver waited from them and then drove away leaving this girl out there all bloody and beaten.
And...she did not lose her job. WTH????

That's horrible. I have to imagine that would never happen today!