I'm curious...

[rockawaybeachgirl]

Further to the point- there has been a lot in the press over the last few years about men in positions of authority abusing children- priests, for example. So should I go and sit with my daughter while she gives confession (we're Catholic) until she is 21 because "something might happen"? If that's your line of thinking, you may as well hole up in your house bc the possibilities are endless!

 

[cornflake]

I dont know that I would be so comfortable with it. I guess everyone has different trust issues and I can honestly say there is a reason I have mine. I do the best I can to not put my DD or DS in a position where anything could happen but it is completly impossible to do. I have always done my best to educate them but at any time any stranger, friend or even family member could make an inappropraite move. No parent knows if their child would speak up and tell them if any thing has happened even if we ask them. This is a parents worse nightmare. A few months ago I saw on the news there was a busdriver, to be exact it was a van..... I cant remember if it was handicap, that passed up a students stop and drove to a dirt road he was just getting in the seat with the student. The girls father saw the driver pass their house acted quickly and apparently caught up to the van and got there prior to anything happening.
You never know who to trust and if you have a bad feeling or are just down right uncomfortable then you have the right to be, our children are precious.

I get anything can happen, but telling your children that at any time, anyone could make an inappropriate move seems like just asking for the kids to be constantly either in fear or about to make some accusation to me. In that grandpa pats someone on the butt like 'good job' and a kid who is primed that anyone can make an inappropriate move at any time thinks 'omg, grandma touched me inappropriately, this was it, what I've been warned about!'

 

[daileyad]

Okay, I guess I'm wrong in this thinking. When I was a teacher we were always trained to never put ourselves in the position of being alone with a student of either gender. What's happening is the bus stops at our stop but the driver refuses to let my daughter get off and cross the road (2 lane road with speed limit of 25). Then he takes her down another road where he drops off the only other children. After that it takes about 4-5 minutes before he gets back to our stop. The whole thing seems weird to me.

 

[t_daniels]

Okay, I guess I'm wrong in this thinking. When I was a teacher we were always trained to never put ourselves in the position of being alone with a student of either gender. What's happening is the bus stops at our stop but the driver refuses to let my daughter get off and cross the road (2 lane road with speed limit of 25). Then he takes her down another road where he drops off the only other children. After that it takes about 4-5 minutes before he gets back to our stop. The whole thing seems weird to me.

This could be a liability issue. Bus drivers are responsible for the kids safety . She doesn't make it home... It's his fault .

Any uneasiness about the route, call transportation, discuss it with them, they can explain why its the way it is.

Edit: read it wrong. That is weird. I'd just call and ask why she's unable to get off there. Maybe you can fix it where she can...

 

[crazydaisy00]

I get anything can happen, but telling your children that at any time, anyone could make an inappropriate move seems like just asking for the kids to be constantly either in fear or about to make some accusation to me. In that grandpa pats someone on the butt like 'good job' and a kid who is primed that anyone can make an inappropriate move at any time thinks 'omg, grandma touched me inappropriately, this was it, what I've been warned about!'

You can educate your children without them living in fear. I said "BUT" at any time any one could make ........ not that I scare them by telling them this.

 

[horseshowmom]

Okay, I guess I'm wrong in this thinking. When I was a teacher we were always trained to never put ourselves in the position of being alone with a student of either gender. What's happening is the bus stops at our stop but the driver refuses to let my daughter get off and cross the road (2 lane road with speed limit of 25). Then he takes her down another road where he drops off the only other children. After that it takes about 4-5 minutes before he gets back to our stop. The whole thing seems weird to me.

It sounds like he's keeping her on the bus because when he returns she will not be crossing any roads. This sounds very much like it might be a policy of the Transportation Department. If you want her off at the first stop, I would call the transportation director and request it. You can just tell them that she will get home sooner, and you would prefer that. I suspect they'll agree to what you want after a personal contact (and no reason for anybody to feel like you're making some kind of unfounded accusation).

 

[NHdisneylover]

It sounds like he's keeping her on the bus because when he returns she will not be crossing any roads. This sounds very much like it might be a policy of the Transportation Department. If you want her off at the first stop, I would call the transportation director and request it. You can just tell them that she will get home sooner, and you would prefer that. I suspect they'll agree to what you want after a personal contact (and no reason for anybody to feel like you're making some kind of unfounded accusation).

This. Other than I am not sure they will agree to let her off where she has to cross the street, and if they do you might have to sign a waiver accepting responsibility.

And, no, I would not be at all phased by ether of my kids being alone on the bus with the driver for a few minutes (then again, I've got the kids who takes buses and trams and trains and ride bikes all over on their own--so my perception can be skewed )

 

[Ember]

You're upset because the driver is taking your daughters safety into consideration? There's likely a policy in place that prevents the driver from allowing children to cross a road, so he ensures she doesn't have to. To go from what seems like a reasonable precaution to suspecting the driver of something vile seems like a pretty big over reaction.

I can just as easily picture a situation where the driver let a kid off on the opposite side of the street and a parent being furious that he wouldn't go the extra five minutes to keep the kid safe.

The quickness of people to think the absolute worst of men who interact with children astounds me.

 

[HelenePA]

I've actually had this happen.. my dd12 is in a lifeskills school setting and does 6wks of summer school (its 4hrs a day and she wants to go.. I dont make her she loves it.. its social time not really school) she use to get picked up in a van with a male driver who'd drive her 15-20min to another town most of the time alone. Never once did I have a second thought about sending her with him.

 

[horseshowmom]

You're upset because the driver is taking your daughters safety into consideration? There's likely a policy in place that prevents the driver from allowing children to cross a road, so he ensures she doesn't have to. To go from what seems like a reasonable precaution to suspecting the driver of something vile seems like a pretty big over reaction.

I can just as easily picture a situation where the driver let a kid off on the opposite side of the street and a parent being furious that he wouldn't go the extra five minutes to keep the kid safe.

The quickness of people to think the absolute worst of men who interact with children astounds me.

While I do agree that it's likely policy as I stated above, every school bus that I've ever seen has a stop sign that swings out requiring traffic to stop in both directions. Considering this is a two lane 25mph road, I would think it perfectly reasonable that the girl could get off the bus here. It would be different if this was a four lane highway.

They may grant her request, may have her sign a waiver as mentioned by another poster, or may tell her why they are unable to grant her request, but it can't hurt to ask (and not because I think anything sinister is going on).

 

[NHdisneylover]

While I do agree that it's likely policy as I stated above, every school bus that I've ever seen has a stop sign that swings out requiring traffic to stop in both directions. Considering this is a two lane 25mph road, I would think it perfectly reasonable that the girl could get off the bus here. It would be different if this was a four lane highway.

They may grant her request, may have her sign a waiver as mentioned by another poster, or may tell her why they are unable to grant her request, but it can't hurt to ask (and not because I think anything sinister is going on).

A lot of schools have adopted these policies due to the high number of drivers who ignore the stop signs, those who speed around the bus and/or the difficulty in the driver seeing the child as she passes n front of the bus to cross--all of which put a child in danger (likely more danger than riding on the bus for a few minutes without other kids around).
Personally--I would be fine with my kid riding the bus or with my kid crossing the street (but I do generally tell them to cross far enough out that they can see the driver's eyes and make eye contact with him/her, when crossing in front of ANY vehicle).

 

[Mkrop]

My kids cross a two lane 25 mph rode every day. I hate it, the bus use to come into our development and go around the block. Now to save gas, they have to cross, and we have had 3 cars blow through the blinking red lights. Another bus on the same route has had a plain cop car following trying to catch the one blowing that bus's lights. Another road out up a blinking traffic sign reminding motorists to stop for buses. Gee I think if you have to use all those resources than maybe stopping on these main roads wasnt such a good idea.

But back to the riding alone part, depending on the bus driver, I may or may not be thrilled. Our current bus driver is awesome so I would be ok. Although I am surprise the bus company/school district would be willing to take on that liability. Our schools have STRICT rules about students being alone with employees. It is never suppose to happen.

 

[luvmy3]

Not every man wants to molest a child. As a matter of fact, most of them don't.

Okay, I guess I'm wrong in this thinking. When I was a teacher we were always trained to never put ourselves in the position of being alone with a student of either gender. What's happening is the bus stops at our stop but the driver refuses to let my daughter get off and cross the road (2 lane road with speed limit of 25). Then he takes her down another road where he drops off the only other children. After that it takes about 4-5 minutes before he gets back to our stop. The whole thing seems weird to me.

As a bus driver they can't never put themselves in a position where they are alone with a student of the opposite gender. Someone has to be the first on and someone has to be the last off.

When I first read your post I thought maybe your dd came home and told you something he said or did that made her uncomfortable so I was giving you te benefit of the doubt about feeling uncomfortable. After seeing its just because he won't let her cross the street I think your being too paranoid. Like others have said there is most likely a policy in place about where he stops. If there isn't and her designated stop is on the one side and he doesn't want her to cross, I think I'd be thankful he was looking out for her. Through the years I have seen so many people blow past a school bus when they are stopped, I imagine he has a driver has seen it much more.

 

[luvsJack]

This is why they need to have a second adult on all buses. Not to protect the child but to protect the driver from accusations

 

[Allison]

You're upset because the driver is taking your daughters safety into consideration? There's likely a policy in place that prevents the driver from allowing children to cross a road, so he ensures she doesn't have to. To go from what seems like a reasonable precaution to suspecting the driver of something vile seems like a pretty big over reaction.

I can just as easily picture a situation where the driver let a kid off on the opposite side of the street and a parent being furious that he wouldn't go the extra five minutes to keep the kid safe.

The quickness of people to think the absolute worst of men who interact with children astounds me.

I know.

 

[crashbb]

As a bus driver they can't never put themselves in a position where they are alone with a student of the opposite gender. Someone has to be the first on and someone has to be the last off.

In theory, they could ensure that the first and last stops were ones with multiple kids getting on/off. Of course, that would mean that the kids at that stop could never be sick. But, in reality, that isn't practical.

In our area, the bus pick up tended to be at the local school; but, we only had busses for those attending "special" schools like french immersion or academic advancement (so we weren't going to our local school). So, there never/rarely was a single child on the bus (each pick up would have had multiple kids).

 

[NHdisneylover]

In theory, they could ensure that the first and last stops were ones with multiple kids getting on/off. Of course, that would mean that the kids at that stop could never be sick. But, in reality, that isn't practical.

In our area, the bus pick up tended to be at the local school; but, we only had busses for those attending "special" schools like french immersion or academic advancement (so we weren't going to our local school). So, there never/rarely was a single child on the bus (each pick up would have had multiple kids).

Exactly--in practice it would never work. Others get sick, run late, take vacation, get a ride on some days, etc What should the driver do then f he gets to the stop and only one child is waiting? Leave her standing on the streetcorner alone?


The PPs suggestion of having two adults would be a work around--but awfully costly to school districts. The video cameras that more and more buses seem to have onboard are probably also meant largely to protect driver's from accusations of wrongdoing.

 

[luvmy3]

In theory, they could ensure that the first and last stops were ones with multiple kids getting on/off. Of course, that would mean that the kids at that stop could never be sick. But, in reality, that isn't practical.

In our area, the bus pick up tended to be at the local school; but, we only had busses for those attending "special" schools like french immersion or academic advancement (so we weren't going to our local school). So, there never/rarely was a single child on the bus (each pick up would have had multiple kids).

I know my kids don't usually have a single child on the bus because we are the land of subdivisions and there are tons of kids that get picked up at the stops.
My nephews OTOH are the first on and last off their buses, and are alone with their driver for at least 10 minutes. They live in the boonies

I wonder if the OP would be concerned if she had a ds on that bus?

 

[Becky2005]

It sounds like he's keeping her on the bus because when he returns she will not be crossing any roads. This sounds very much like it might be a policy of the Transportation Department.

This -- I know here they are not allowed to cross any streets! I was SO disappointed after living in our house for years watching the middle schoolers be picked up literally across the street from our house (2 stops even)...that I knew when my kids got old enough it would be so easy for them...imagine my surprise when my oldest gets to Middle School and the letter for her bus stop is way down the road instead of right across the street. I called the Transportation Department and was told that due tot he road (it IS a busy one!!) they do not have any bus stops on that road anymore and kids are not assigned stops where they would have to cross the road.

I would call them and see what they say but I can guarantee you it has to do with the crossing the road issue & if it is a semi-busy road even more so...although I do find this funny since the activity bus DOES have them cross our busy road but there is only 1 bus there and only about 10 stops.

 

[Disney Doll]

This is why they need to have a second adult on all buses. Not to protect the child but to protect the driver from accusations

I'm waiting for someone to say:
"But what if the bus driver and the second adult are in cahoots?"

Because really, just because there is a 2nd adult on the bus doesn't mean that they are going to stop anything...heck, they might even join in.

My point being that there is a reasonable amount of caution one needs to live life, but one cannot walk around thinking everyone and everything is out to get them, is going to do something bad or whatever. In my 50 years I have found that, in general, most people are good. Yes, it stinks when you meet a bad one, but it's much more rare than the media would have us believe.

OP, it sounds as if your DD's driver is concerned for her safety on not wanting her to cross a busy road. I live on a 2 lane 25MPH road and I think I'd have a heart attack if anyone actually went 25MPH...I'd probably think their car was breaking down or something since for some reason a speed limit sign that says 25 MPH means that most people go 40MPH or faster.

Unless your DD has said that the bus driver concerns her in any way, I'd probably be grateful that he was taking a little extra care to keep her safe.